business, career, cyber space, depression, drama, dreams, egoism, relations

Famous or mediocre – what is your goal?



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It is not easy to be famous. You want to reach the top of the world, but still you are not the only one. Competition is tough, some would like to cross over the corpse just to gain success. Nowadays things are getting more harder. Taboo is not something what will rise the dust. Everyone knows about naked bodies in “Playboy”, about porno movies which are stolen and published, about relations with married men and women, it is not forbidden to act promiscuous and homosexual. 


Your album is not sold? Your book is not popular? Do something to pull fans on your side. otherwise you are broke.


So, what to do to make more attention and more admiration and to make our fame bigger?

Serbian model Mina Milenković got an original idea, how to play role of victim. She lied that she is kidnapped and raped. It would make double effect : victim in the eyes of publicity and more famous because she was so strong to handle such serious troubles. Game with law is not childish game, so her lies were discovered. It is like in case when child calls school with explanation “Here is the bomb, it will explode for one hour.” All with purpose, that child doesn’t want to be on exam that day. Mina indeed had conflict with ex boyfriend, so she made story to cover herself. Medical documentation did not show track on her body so she had no proof about rape. She had only scratches in her face. Sources said that she was drunk in the night club and security throw her out. Then she disappeared and after this she made story. Dealing with law is not a joke, so Mina got punishment. She will clean public toilets to do something useful for community. Press will write about this so on some way she got the score.

It is not easy to be celebrity because everyone can follow our steps. 


Private fights become public. 

All ugly things in relations and marriage swims out .


Private relations are exposed as reality show. 


I have been watching you is greeting instead of hello. 

You want to drink coffee and already journalists see stain on your shirt and zoom.


If we want to hide something or lie, we can be discovered as in this case.



When you look at things from this side, mediocre is an advantage. Nobody will ask why i drink coffee without sugar in the morning and where i will buy groceries for dinner. I can sneeze without problems that someone will take a photo of my face. I don’t need to walk around to search and find paparazzi in the bush. I can drink coffee with my friend and press will not ask are we in relation. 

Woody Allen made an interesting movie about 24 hours of glory. Man got used to be famous, and when all attention gone, nobody cared for him. It was message, fame will not last forever, unless you did really something historical.



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business, career, crime, crises, depression, drama, egoism, lies, life, relations

When people show true colors

 

When will people show true colors, when masks fall down? Everything is great until you have harmony in relations, no matter is this love or friendship. Until you support and confirm other opinions, until you stay away from discussions, you are peaceful. On this way you feed other ego, you are not competition and there is no reason for envy or jealousy. 

Once when you have conflict with someone, things are changed. Suddenly you see real face from your friend or lover. Then you can see how indeed that person respects you and what he/she really thinks.

Denials and rejections are not easy. It can be very painful, unless you are professional person who offer some products to customers, and they deny and refuse to buy. That is normal that you will say no to Jehova’s witness who rings on your door, to people who are hired to sell brochures because they can be indeed boring. But they will not cry if you deny them, because it is their reality. Someone will say yes, someone no, and they accepted this as business.

But things are different in real life. Only mature person can accept rejections from others. 

What normal person can do in a case to hear word no ?

go forward with their life

– don’t look back to person who rejected you

– never gossip, threat, revenge, because people have a choice

– open door to new opportunities

 

If you are yelling, gossiping and spreading hate toward person who rejected you, you show your weak, unhealthy character. When you try to ruin someone reputation from personal reasons, this is double sword. People are not stupid. People will recognize quality even you try to spit on every corner, and your judgement will sound as describe of your character. Many famous people were stalked, gossiped, and they have a lot of haters. But even negative advertising is good marketing.

Steal erotic video of some couple and you will make damage, but people will talk about that and they will got attention, even way to make money. How Kim Kardashian became famous? Through gossips .

People asks for excitement, for arena, for hunger games. If you try to make someone miserable in other eyes, probably miserable and lame person will be you. 

Besides, slander is criminal act. You want to pay big money because you had moment of weakness when you said or wrote something abusive?

True colors came out through fights. Yesterday friend, today enemy. Yesterday lover, today hater.

The biggest favor which such person can do is to continue with life without bitterness. Stop useless war and turn on to areas where you are successful. Or you want to be remembered as violent person without character?

character, drama, egoism, illusion, life, passion, psychology, relations

Casanova with broken heart

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Nobody has an immunity from Cupid arrows. Love can hit as tornado and we are ready to do things which we did not think we will ever do. This complete perception about love is suddenly changed.

When guy is changing girls faster than socks, he is playboy. This is kind of sport between four walls and under the sheets. Famous playboy Warren Beaty was bragging about huge number of his sexual partners until Anette Bening caught him and bonded him for a lifetime. Before that, he broke many hearts.

Many women dream how to change playboy, to be his last station. Women believe they can change promiscuous man in a way that they offer them something he could not reject. They forget that is not easy to surprise playboy. He saw  and experienced this before, and women are all the same , they are only numbers. All this happens until something in his life change his perception.

 

Matthew was big spender of women. He did not remember their names, he was in unpleasant situations because he used to have sex even with two girls in one night. Simply, he would drive home one girl, then they would return to night club to pick up others, like fruit on some trees. He was target of bad rumors, but he did not care. All until he met Sally. After she broke up with her, the same as with others, she called him to give him info, that she has AIDS. He was scared to death, and 3 days he waited for his test results were the biggest punishment to him. He could not eat, walk or sleep, he imagined himself in big coffin already. Lucky, his test was negative on AIDS and he could relax. This bitter experience made him more careful, and after few months he found women for marriage. Life taught him lesson and he changed perception.

Some playboys will learn, some will not, they will do the same mistakes until they can. As life is passing by, they will have less and less opportunities for seducing. If man is handsome, but if he has  nothing besides sweet face, women will give up from him with time. Playboy who is 60 years old? If he is Bernie Ecclestone or Hugh Hefner his wallet would be desirable, but they are minority. Average playboy in small city is just retired man without wife, with fragile health and maybe without health insurance. Who will take care for him when he could not get up from his bed?

Playboy can be also guy with broken heart. This heart is stabbed with arrow, but not with Cupid arrow. This is lesson from life because he was winning too long in this game. Now he got paycheck.

behavior, business, character, ego, energy, fantasy, money, relations, responsibility, sensibility

Reality with domino effect

 

Every misery ask for company. Trouble never comes alone. In the time of recession many people are unemployed or with small salaries. That problems spread deeper into society. As octopus, their shanks are on many places.

Poor man will became beggar or criminal. Beggars will be social problems, and criminals will fill courts and jails. Streets will be battlefield for social mess and someone can get hurt during demonstrations. Unemployed people have no money to shop. Shopping malls will be closed or empty and country will have debts. That debts will be on international level and country will fall into debt slavery. 

Domino effect has terrible consequences. Problems are part of big chain, everything is crushing down. If you want to solve this situation, go on election and choose another government. Ask yourself if your voice can help. 

The same thing is in private area. So many times we can hear “all troubles stick on my back.” I have spell because everything is going wrong.

When you get divorce this is not an end. It opens door to another problems. Financial side, lost trust to other possible partners and if you have children they lose mother or father. So in this way we observe problems as an album with black and grey photos. Small problem can grow into big problem. You get drown deeper and deeper.

This happens when you don’t discover causer from the start. What made your situation so bad? Let’s go back at the beginning. Now, when everything is crushing down, you can see that it didn’t come over night. Or maybe you did not want to see, you intentionally closed your eyes?

Sabina complained that her husband left her. She was in marriage 10 years. Then she dig into her memory, how she forgive to him all affairs and how he treated her. He did not show her love as she expected. She wanted to keep him so her eyes are closed. That was pink delusional view, not real picture of this situation. So why she was surprised when he declared end of their marriage? 

When we dig hole for our problems, we forget about solution. 


Well, no big deal, i will not pay my bills immediately, but for sure i will pay. Now my bills are bigger, i did not pay last three months, how so? 

It is better to prevent, than to heal. 


It can be too late, damage is already done. Then we can accuse others why that happened. It is better to kill the wasp than to deal with cluster. Let’s cope with that problems until they are small, because later you will be too weak to solve this alone.

business, career, character, crises, lies, life, loyalty, relations

How we work on our promises?

Promises are kind of obligations. If you gave your word, it means you owe to someone. You are debtor because you said you will do this. If you promise something to yourself, don’t disappoint your principles.

It is not necessary to change our aims to realize promises. We need to change pattern which brings us failure. If we had same solutions for same problems, we will not go so far. Some things have tail, we drag this as burden year by year.

Usual promises at the beginning of  year are:

I will break this relation because this is not for me.

I will lose 10 kilograms.

I will find new job.

I will find new love.

I will travel on places i never was before.

Yes, we all have drafts. How it should look like. Some wishes are realised last year, and if situation is like these, this is success. There is no regret for something what happened. Look forward for anything new because our path is changing .

There is no big change without big cuts. If woman wants new man in her life, she must leave her previous partner. This is very hard and it takes lot of pain. No pain, no gain. If you have chance for a new job, you must leave previous job. 

Cuts are as surgery. You don’t know will you wake up, or you will stay dead. There is something worse, that you stay on one place forever. This is frozen image, when you are not able to move and you can’t do step forward.

Legend says, how you start New year, it will be pattern for 365 days next. If you cry in midnight, probably you will be sad. Before 2 years someone stole my coat in wardrobe. I was losing money and things later, like i opened box with negative energy. Probably because i had fear it will happen. 

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When first month of year gone, we think what we did for a start.

What can motivate us?

Pay old bills to avoid court.

Clean flat , maybe you find something lost a long time ago.

Say sorry to your friend if you did something wrong.

Visit place you planned to visit before few years.

One important thing is : how you manage to hold your promises to yourself, the same will be with others. If you promise you will go on diet and you still stuck between candies, this is personal failure. How you will make things for others, when you can’t trust to yourself?

I love to hold on something what i did without help of others. This is what i like, to prove myself that i can do it, as independent person. When i was schoolgirl, having bad mark was challenge for me. I was fixing that to break obstacle. That was my challenge and i won. The same attitude i have in life. I can really mess up things, but i will do it better because my will order me to do it. 

What is necessary to realize your promises?

Strong attitude.

Patience. It means you work on yourself and you are aware of your weakness.

Avoiding bad influences and temptation which can drag you from your purposes. If you say you will not drink, don’t go with people who drink often.

Hope. You believe that you can do it and positive approach is your inner voice.

couples, crises, marriage, moral, passion, psychology, relations

Butterflies in stomach

Your love story is not finished when you get marry. Boredom , habits and routine will wait in the shadow and after many years you will ask for refreshment. These days when your heart skipped beat because you saw that beautiful woman are behind you, and now you see bunch of unpaid bills instead of your sexy partner. I read your mind now : you wish to turn back time and to travel in the age of your youth.

How to activate butterflies in stomach again?

Typical conversation between two men sounds like that:

Look dude i don’t know about you, but i don’t remember when i had last time good sex. I have no time and space because of my kids, and even when my mother in law is take care for them, my wife is too tired to have sex with me. “

“I know what you mean. That is why i watch porno movies because i can’t wait my turn. And i have own collection of some magazines for adults. “

How to give colors to your grey marriage? Is it really true that boredom became master with time, or you choose wrong partner?

Some people will always ask for a challenge. Others will prefer safety, which is often connected with boredom. 

Imagine that you have house with fireplace, you watch television and around you are your wife, kids, cat or dog. 

Here are few different ways about this image:

Person A. This is happiness and love. I could not imagine nothing more happier than this. 

Person B. How dull! I would escape through the window. I hope dog would not follow me.

Person C. This is cozy shelter for few days, but after this i would like to go on fresh air.

What is a secret of long , successful relation or marriage? Maybe you think that your partner cannot surprise you anymore, because you know him or her so well. You are wrong.

Look this ten steps.

1. Don’t rush on the start of relation. Don’t say i love you immediately.

2. Slow down with making love. You have a time so delay this as special event.

3. Never introduce your love with your parents or relatives at the beginning. It is red alarm that you want to put person in the cage. 

4. Don’t avoid conflicts. If you agree with everything what your partner says, you are part of him, and your personality doesn’t exist. So you are boring.

5. Travel around from time to time. Adventures will bring new light into your relation.

6.  Help your partner with problems. If your wife has problems at work , listen her and give advice. Nothing makes couple more close than togetherness during crises. 

7. Change your style from time to time. Your partner doesn’t have to look same hairstyle and clothes whole life. You can make some changes for good. There is no need that your husband remember you as cheerleader in short skirt even when your legs are not so perfect anymore.

8. Create space only for yourself. Nothing is more seductive than person who loves to be alone from time to time. Distance is hot. If you play tennis in Wednesday, your wife can wait you at home in new underwear. That is more exciting than talking about money debts.

9. Share your success with partner. That is aphrodisiac. No matter did you get new job or win on gamble, your partner will see you in new light. Nobody wants to lose person who brings happiness.

10. Take care for pets. Cats, dog, birds, that cute creatures connect people more than you know. If you don’t talk with your partner, at least you can ask him to feed cat, for a start. 

Even we meet many people during life, and we can fall in love so many times, here is just one person with whom we can spend life. Some will get divorce and try again with new partner, but yet you will not change your wife and husband as you change socks.  That is why relation needs patience and strong nerves. Once you felt butterflies in stomach because you saw that beautiful woman. She smiled and you lost your mind. Now you feel butterflies again, but not only because she smiled. It happens because she made your whole life worthy. 

character, communication, discrimination, drama, egoism, friendship, psychology, relations

Are you listener from ambush?

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Everyone has own problems and we are too busy with them. We want that someone listen to us, because that burden will become easier if we share with someone. It is great to share problems with your friends, they can give us advises and opinions and maybe this is the key how to solve it.

Did you ever had feeling that someone is just pretend to listen , and then jump in conversation with other subject and own problems? That is so called listening in ambush and it looks like these:

Yes of course you should not call that guy dear Betty. Who is he anyway that you call him every day? Speaking of that, me and my ex had similar problem. I used to call him anytime when he needed me, and he never cared about my life and what is happening to me. Me and Robert, from the start of our relation..bla, bla, bla.”

Suddenly you have feeling that subject of that conversation is not your problem anymore. Your friend forwarded your story into background. Really, skills of listening are quality in friendship. If you interrupt person while he/she is talking, you think only about yourself. Next time you should not expect that the same person will listen to you and give you an opinion. 

Besides, this is rude and unkind. Person can check  do you listen. She/he can say : “I am pregnant and i will have twins. ” This is good way to check are you awake in this conversation.

I know, people really could be boring with stories, especially if the same problem repeat every time. 


Who would like to listen the same story about ex boyfriend who is still stalking your friend, even you said to her million times that she should ignore him? In that case is better to be honest and tell her that you don’t have time and nerves for her stories.

 

Listening in ambush is like listening in earphones. 

You have that look in your eyes like you are following your friend, but your minds are in music. When she ask you : “Am i really a fool?”, you will say yes because you did not hear her at all. You can compare your stories, problems and thoughts, but when is time for this, try not to focus conversation on yourself. If you never listen to anybody you are selfish. Nobody like to talk with selfish people so your best conversationalist will be your mirror.

Listening in ambush is way of disrespect.

If you pretend that you are listening, and indeed this topic is boring for you, but you don’t want to admit, you are hypocrite. Rather say to your friend that you are not in mood for this discussion.

psychology, business, depression, destiny, career, prejudices, discrimination, responsibility

How to survive in office?

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Once upon a time, young man had a dream. He wanted to work as famous lawyer after he finished Faculty of Law. He imagined himself as defender of O. J. Simpson, as famous Robert Kardashian. To realize his dreams, he gave up from his private life. During summer he was studying even outside was 35 degrees and his friends enjoyed in summer joys. He squeezed teeth and after 6 years he finished his education. He was poor man so he decided to work first, and then to go on expert exam.

In Croatia , accord statistic from 2012., are 230 000 civil officers. It is not easy to find job as a lawyer if you have no family tradition and office from your father or mother, so you are forced to work for others few years, or you will work in agency or for ministry to earn some money. Public services are also one of the ways to get job. If you have good connection, you can work for private firm or entrepreneur. 

So this guy from the beginning of this story started to work in office , as civil officer, as intern. Soon he realized that he must wake up from his dream, because it reminded on nightmare. Old woman was his supervisor and she underestimated him from beginning. His first task, when he started to work , was to bring her muffin every morning. She wanted to make delivery man accord her wishes, but he denied that. During one year, she was correcting his memorials in a way how she wanted. He did not mistake in rules or laws, so she corrected his sentences and grammar. She wanted to make her copy from this young man, and she was abusing him. He was new employee in office and he did not want to report her for mobbing, so he handle that as real man and after one year of work experience he was asking another job. He was waiting for a new chance and happiness smiled to him so he got job in entrepreneurship.

What can you expect from office job, especially if you are new in this area?

traps, someone will try to teach you what you already know

– if you are not kind and sweet, your path will be harder

– sexual harassment, especially if you are girl

– working on jobs under your level and education

– provocations and discrimination on every basic 

Someone will say, report your boss for mobbing. Just, this way is difficult and slow. When you will ask for next job, previous experience with mobbing and prosecution will not look good in your CV.

Even your rights are broken, next employer will look at you with suspicion and you will be factor of risk. 

If you are not favorite person in your department, use principle divide et impera. 


Separate and rule. You can find weak spot everywhere. Here is always boss and someone higher than your boss. Higher boss will have more power so you can be nice to that person. Who make final decisions at your work? Stick on basic rule : don’t shit where you eat. You know how far you can go with your complaint, that you can be member of Union and ask your rights there, at least you can cause fear when you are bluffing with report.

When you are playing cards in this cold war, be calm and self confident. Hysteria and panic are just inside enemies, don’t dig your own grave. Go with smile on your face and with short and clear arguments. Big boss is person who will decide about your destiny, so don’t take much time with tears or monologues. You know why you are here and you stand behind your attitude. This is the only way that you can win in this game.

couples, erotica, kiss, lovers, passion, relations, romance

Every breath you take

You can’t hide real love no matter how much you try, because signs will reveal your secret. Also, you can’t pretend that you love someone if you don’t feel it , because sooner or later heart will expose your intentions.

When friend asked me how she will know that somebody loves her, i said that she must follow signs. 

Which are signs that somebody has crush on you?

He follows every your step and he talks much in your presence, just to be noticed by you.

He will tease you just to pay attention on him.

He will listen you even you talk without sense, because words came out from your mouth.

He will laugh on your stupid jokes.

If something is not alright with you, he will ask you what happened.

He is jealous on his competition, no matter are they your ex boyfriends or friends.

He wants to be in the same friend circle where are you, to make his approach easier.

Women will often make mistakes about words i love you. Such words are not proof of love if actions can’t support them. 

The most often misleads about love signs are next:

He said i am love of his life. Bullshit, especially if he says this at the start of the relation. This is too serious statement for someone who just met you.

He said bad words to my ex boyfriend. He broke nose to my friend. It’s because he loves me.

Violence and bad manners are not signs of love. That are signs of insecurity.

He talked bad and dirty about his ex girlfriend. It must be love.

If he talked nasty things about his ex girlfriends, you will be next topic. Next whore, slut or bimbo will be you.

He buys me so many things, and he doesn’t let me to pay his drinks or tickets to cinema and club.

When someone try to buy your affection, he wants to mark his territory. Later he will not let you to go out without him, in dress which he bought for you.

He said that i am the best woman he had in his bed.

Sex is not measure of love, because be sure he said to other girls before you , the same things.

He confirm everything what i say.

That is only sign that he has no attitude.

Couples in love will be noticed at first sight, even they are not kissing and hold their hands every time you see them


Harmony is like sun, it simply glows. Pamela and Sam often finished their sentences, they have common interests and they help each other with problems. They are not kissing in publicity like crazy, but when Pamela broke leg, Sam was every day in the market to buy food and make lunch for her. 

Theresa and Ted were working in the same office and they had debates all the time. They were always on opposite sides. But one day someone saw them after work, they were kissing in coffee bar. 

On other hand, Leonard and Rhoda were in long relation, but they were always quiet and formal. So after few years they separated. Leonard prepared this end for a long time, but he did not want to hurt her, even everybody knew that something is not alright. His eyes were always somewhere else, and Rhoda was alone in this relation. 

So, if you not sure is somebody return his feelings to you, look at his eyes and you will find answer. Men world is maybe cruel, because if he did not choose you, he can be rough. You will know that you are not this one, and don’t try to push him because you will cause disaster. At least, elimination of one choice always leads to others. 

As Stings sing : “Every step you make, every breath you take, i’ll be watching you.”

behavior, business, career, character, crises, depression, relations

How you accept personal defeat?

 

Life will give us some bitter lessons, and one of them is personal defeat. Suddenly, life said NO to your dreams. You can’t get your sweetheart, you are rejected on job interview or your friend betrayed you? 

How much we suffer because of defeat? What happens when life start to kick us and when we are down on knees? Anyone of you had at least few times blackouts, when all boats were drown, and everything important lost meaning. Defeat is the darkest forest and we are powerless when we get lost between trees.

Some people are not ready for defeat, because they think they are exception and that life will award them, because they got benefits. 

The biggest misleads about winners:

Name will make me famous. 

My father is businessman , politician, actor, so i will be privileged too.

I never lose, because i am born as winner. 

Even if all in your life was smooth until now, obstacles will find you.

That happens to others, but not to me. 

I am on the top of the world so i will stay there because this is my place.

I am used to win, and it can’t be different.

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Winners could be spoiled people, who are used to win always. They sleep on their past victories and forget about possible defeat. They believe that high forces are protecting them.

 

Helen was an excellent student and her father was teacher at university. She was tall, pretty and ambitious. That perfect girl could not pass an exam from civil law, because professor was not impressed with her name and image. She repeated that exam four times, every time she was in tears and almost broken, because that never had happened before. When she finally got good mark, she was so proud. Nothing had bigger value for her.

How we handle defeat, it depends about our character. 

If you give up, cry or even think about suicide, you are immature. 

If you continue with your mission even everyone laugh to you, you are ready for fight and sooner or later victory is yours.

If you face it with impossible mission and accept that is over, the only thing you can do is look forward.

Real picture of defeat and victory is in our heads. You will win if you work on it, but it doesn’t happen as default. Nothing is for granted, and you are not better than others. 

Winners are not those who represent themselves as powerful before they reach their aim. Winners are those who show final results, because only that is count.