Is your single status benefit or burden?

 

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If you are single, some people will pity you, others will make jokes and it depends of you how to handle this. Differences between single and taken status are visible in friend circles. Couples will have prejudices about single people, as they are always available and free for others. Single person sometimes feel as black sheep in group of couples, because in coffee bar is always free chair for someone who is not here yet.

If you are single, is this burden or benefit?
Take a look at your list of benefits.
You pay bills alone and you don’t share money with anyone.
 
You are not victim of jealousy.
 
You can go on striptease bar, beach party and football match without discussion with your better half.
 
You can flirt around without responsibility that you will hurt someone.
 
You can make mess in your bedroom and kitchen and nobody will complain that you are untidy.
 
You can listen music and watch movies accord your taste.
 
Remote control is yours.
 
 
Workplace is area where single people can’t feel comfortable because bosses will often dig into privacy of their employers. On other hand, single people will make own attitude to justify their status, and sometimes attack is the best defense.
Jenny is single, and she  compared herself with her female boss, who was in marriage. Her argument was next:
“She is constantly nervous because of her children and husband. I am happy and i smile because i have peace at my home. I don’t care for school problems, for choice of lunch or any such shit, because i can do all what i wish. “
One day Jenny and her boss had conflict. Her boss asked her to work overtime, and Jenny rejected this.
Her boss said: “What kind of reason you have not to stay? You are single, you don’t need to take children into kindergarten. “
Jenny replied: ” I also have life, more filled than yours. I am member of  book club and my friends are waiting for me. Then i go to the gym. “
Being single is a burden in some situations. 
You wish to go to wedding party but you have no escort.
 
You want to travel but you afraid to go alone.
 
You have vacation, but there is no person which you wish to spend it.
 
You are ill and nobody will visit you at hospital.
 
Married men want to have you as mistress.
 
Your friends want to pick partner for you. 
 
 
Being single is not social disgrace, but it depends about people who surrounds you. It is not pleasant when all around you are in couples, and you are alone and on the target. Imagine yourself in the middle of attention if you come to visit granny in some village, and you are over 30. “Oh honey, you are old maid. Where is your husband? Are you too picky? Are you lesbian? “
Some single people will make kick back. They will say :
I would rather be single than to have stupid wife or husband. I don’t envy you. I would not marry such person even if she is last in this Earth. “
You know the best what to do with your status. If you need space, air to breath or some time, you will enjoy as single, to collect your mind. If you are desperate for being single, don’t let others to notice that. Searching person because you are lonely is wrong reason for relation.
If you date with someone and you say something like this : ” I can’t stand my loneliness, that is killing me.”, this person will afraid and runaway. You are single and happy with yourself, and your possible partner is not your savior. He is your bonus because you can take care of yourself.
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Status: bachelor

Magic of love connected them in few moments. Sparks are around this couple, and she felt that is time to settle down. She asked him important question: “Would you like to marry with me?”

Suddenly, fire balls stop to spread lights, and everything turn into ash. He is numb, because he has no answer on this question. If he accepts, he will sacrifice his sexual life forever. If he says NO, this gorgeous woman will be hurt. So he decided for diplomatic answer : “I am not ready to get marry yet. ” She heard only word “yet” and this was another flame to warm up her hope.

Bachelors are type of men who think that time is limitless. It is alright to be bachelor in 25, but what is in 35, 45, or even 55 year? Young guys, who just step up into this life are joking about marriage. They are cheerful because they grab every chance to please their wishes and satisfaction is in status single. As long you are single, or at least you are not officially married, all paradise is in front of you.

What are misleads about bachelor status?

I always have time. Life is indeed short.

I did not find right woman to get marry. She is maybe in front of your nose, but you don’t see it.

I will not have any obligations. Yes, you will, just you will wash and ironing your clothes alone. Or with a help of your mother, who is getting older every day.

I don’t want to spend my money on wife and children. Even worse, you will spend money on alcohol, gambling and lot of activities because you are getting bored.

I will always have lot of friends. Wrong. Your friends are getting married, every day you will have less and less free guys to have party with them.

When i will have 50, young gorgeous woman is waiting for me. Women are not stupid and also we have taste. If man is not extremely rich , women will not even look at him.

The main difference between single woman (or unmarried) and bachelor is in attitude of society. Unmarried woman is woman with deadline. She is not so desirable, if she is already 30 or 40. Her time for having children is passing, her body is not perfect, wrinkles are here and her circle of fans is getting smaller. Bachelor is more desirable. He is now more mature, he is earning his own money, he has flat and now he needs only future wife. Business circles will ask for status, because married businessman is better candidate than single man. Politicians will ask for family man with obligations. Also, magazines will have list of handsome bachelors, as opportunities for women.

It is very interesting how society will label man as bachelor, even he is in relation or in cohabitation. Only formal paper means that man is out of this race.

Recently, yellow press wrote about George Clooney who finally engaged with woman lawyer, so she was marked as woman who caught him. They said, she was unavailable to him and he fall on old trick.

What is a recipe to catch bachelor? 

Universal recipe doesn’t exist. That is man decision. He wants you or he doesn’t want you. You can use some old tricks, but finally choice is his. Celebrities have much bigger choice and they will be more hard to get. Ordinary men will try to find woman accord their standards. There is one fact, some men will never get married. Simply, they did not feel they are ready on time, and time passed so they are still alone. One thing is sure, if you feel that you are bachelor , tell it to your woman, she deserve to know the truth. Give her time to find someone who is ready to settle down.

Can you fight for your aim without help of others?

If you are one of those who know how to fit in, probably you have much friends. You have team, they stand behind your back and support you. Are you strong, powerful person? Can you say to your opponents: “Take care of me, cause my team will ruin your life. ” When ex Croatian tennis player Iva Majoli divorced from ex husband, her words were : “Beware of dark, it will swallow you.” Everyone who can count on gorillas, because of money, power or any other reasons, is not alone.

On opposite side, are you one of those who defend rights alone? 

Can you stand against crowd, lonely and without background, just with your principles behind you?

Imagine these situations:

You are in bus and radio is loud. You are the only one who complain. Yes or no?

Neighbor beats his wife. Others will not interfere, but you are the only one who will defend her. Yes or no?

You have friend at Facebook who constantly tag others. You are the only one who will remove tag. Yes or no?

Someone stand in front of you when you wait for line in restaurant. Others will be silent, will you yell on him?

Your boss makes mistake in important document. Are you the one who will warn him?

It is easy to be brave when crowd stand behind your back. You are powerful because gorilla Steve will break teeth to those who dare to touch you. Well, what if you are alone? There is quote : ” Force will break woods, but mind will rule with kingdom. ” Can you win as David against Goliath? 

Sheila was fragile girl. She was victim of bullying in high school. She did not allow to guys to touch her, so they use force and cut her part of hair. She complaint to headmaster. In this moment, she did not crying. Her face was calm and voice did not tremble. She collected her hair, and spread her palm in front of headmaster, with words: “They did this to me. ” Bullies were punished and Sheila was winner, without bullets. 

Just because you have parents, brothers, husband or friends, it doesn’t mean that they will always be with you. Some situations happen suddenly, without alert. Husband is maybe at business trip. Parents are maybe old and without power. Brother is on date with his girlfriend. And you are alone, against bullies, or against rude people who wish to hurt you, with force or words. That is situation why is important to use your character, because that is image of your real power.

I had friend teenager who was so cocky because of her popularity. She had the best clothes and the most handsome boyfriends. Well, when her own father slapped her in night club, because she did not come home at time, nobody helped her. She was weak and she cried as little baby. Nobody wanted to protect her, because it was family thing.

When you stand alone, count with this:

Don’t show fear .

Don’t change your mind.

Raise your voice. 

Don’t cry and don’t tremble.

Maybe you are fragile butterfly and gorillas might tear you, but your dignity is your weapon. If you don’t show teeth at least once, you will never go far. Courage is mother of respect, so be enough brave to gain respect of crowd.

5 types of people you should avoid at social networks

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Social networks are relaxing place if you share your time with good people. Stranger from internet could be more interesting than your colleague at work or boring neighbor who knocks at your door every day. Another traditions, exotic countries and different views are real refreshment in boring daily schedule. Unfortunately, internet is not always place for enjoyment, so you can fall in trap of some freaks who forgot line between reality and virtual space.

This 5 types of people you should avoid and press NO button for friend request:

Spammer. This kind of person will spam your wall with tags and inbox with messages. He is not here for friendship, he desperately catch attention. Especially is odd when such person start to share your personal photos around, without your permission.

Lover boy. This person is hungry for love and sweet words fly over your page as butterflies, but also you can see the same story in other pages. Sweetie, darling or honey are his daily inspirational words.

Pervert. He is big fan of porno photos and videos and he can embarrass you in publicity, because naked bodies are his hobby. 

Hater. He hates everyone and world is undesirable place, accord him. He will ask for conflict and fight in every opportunity. When such person is leaving, everyone will be considered as idiot or jerk, because everyone hurt him badly.

Lonely soul. Yes, this is kind of person who yells “add me” in every group, because people must add him. Otherwise, he will open fake page and threat you why you did not accept his nice offer for friendship. 

Even every social site has block button, you are not finished once when you block unpleasant person. He or she can open another page or gossip you around, or even try to hack your account, because you did not want to hangout with them. Some cultures are not based on rejections, for them is rude to say NO, and they will hard understand that you pick your friends.

Internet offered exit for every lonely person on this Earth, but some of them mixed reality and dream. Even when you add someone who is not accord your standards, you can soon regret this, because such person will ask daily chat with you and you will have stone around your neck.

Virtual space is not substitute for reality. This is bonus , additional gift together with reality, vacation with keyboard. If your workplace allows access to social networks, you will join to some site to get rest from daily pressure. Maybe you will rather exchange your experience with strangers than drink coffee with your idiot boss or boring cooperators. Person with healthy and sober mind should understand boundaries, that you can’t ask your virtual friend about their ages, statuses or personal life, if she or he feel uncomfortable.

Word choice is magical word but some people on internet are deaf , because they see only what they wish to see. Extreme cases will call you bad person, because you ignored their messages or blocked them, after annoying virtual treatment.

If you are lucky to meet alive person from internet, your perception will be complete and maybe you will find new friend. In any case, limit your expectations. People from internet are not fairies or magicians, they can’t change your reality or pay your bills.

How people lie at first date?

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Truth is naked, and lies are well dressed. Do we always want to hear naked truth, without imagination, just straight into face?

There are so called white lies, sweet ways to avoid truth or to make truth more beautiful, with some updates.

Men and women use different lies. When we start to know special person, we want to expose ourselves in best edition.

Men wish to expose themselves as brave heroes, rich entrepreneurs or candidate for stable relation, so they add some stories to their CV.

 

Men will say:

 

1. i have fast car

 

2. i have well paid job and good education from university

 

3. i was with many women, all were crazy for me, but you are special

 

4. i travel around world

 

5. i have very good business connection, my boss indeed eat from my hands

6. i broke teeth of some bad guys

What is the truth?

 

1. i stuck between credits for my car and house, i will be without money soon

2. i hate my job but i need it to survive

3. i am looser because all my ex broke up with me, or i don’t have much experience in love, i am virgin, i had only 2 women in my life etc.

4. i was never outside of my country

5. really i am intruder and nobody at my work don’t even notice me

6. i runaway from hooligans

 

So, if you had first date, what would you prefer? To know naked truth about guy who is indeed looser, or sweet lies ? That guy must have good insurance that you will wish to see him again.

 

Well he lies about his car, about his salary, maybe even about size of his penis and his skills in bed. But maybe you will found out that he is creative and able to deal with every situation, so it will be your challenge. On other hand, guy who represent himself as looser will be denied on first step. Imagine you met guy who says :”I live with my mother , she is retired and paralyzed and she gives me money for survival, i had no sexual experience during 3 years, and i am dying to see you again.”

 

Nobody likes despair, so it will be turn off. Real truth is somewhere in the middle. We women are asking for potential, ambitious guy who will show courage to deal with hard reality. Even we can forgive him lies later if he is able to change his present life.

 

Women like to represent themselves as pure so they will lie about number of sex partners. Also they will lie about ages, natural look and relations.

How women say lies?

 

1. i had sex only with one guy 

 

2. i am 20 or 25 year old (in fact 30-40)

 

3. my color of hair is natural

 

4. i don’t use much makeup

 

5. lies about weight and height are also on the top, high heels and belly belt will do good  deception , so woman can look slimmer or taller

6. i rejected many guys cause i am picky


What is the truth?


1. i slept with few guys before you

2. i am not so young

3. my hairdresser is responsible for my styling

4.  i will not get out from house without lipstick

5. i was on many diets

6. there is a long time since someone invited me at date

Women will lie with clothes, makeup, even with tears. What would guys prefer? To see woman without makeup on first date, without fancy clothes, and that she admit to him her sexual experience? “Yes, i slept with two best friends, i had few one night stands, but that is a life.”

 

Men doesn’t want to get rid of his vision about innocent women so fast. They want sleeping beauty from fairy tales, and later she can expose her real truth.

So, yes, truth is honest , but lies are here to protect us – at least at the beginning.

Why some women so desperately want marriage?

Serbian basketball player Miloš Teodosić recently got tempted offer from beautiful pin up girl Nataša Šavija. Girl saw his photos in newspaper, also she heard that he is famous, so she sent him public message : “I want to marry for you and to wash, iron and clean for you. I will give a birth to 5 children, all for you. ” Many men would imagine himself as her husband, but Miloš answered : “I want girl with brain, so get marry for someone else and give him five children . “

His reaction was a bit harsh, but he sent clear message that he doesn’t want pushy woman who will be with him just because of his glory. If he was carpenter, would she offer herself so openly? That is in fear of many men, that they will find girlfriend who wish their money and who will marry just to have wealth and children.

As much women are afraid that their man is not ready for marriage and children, men are afraid that they found bachelorette.

Who is bachelorette and how to recognize her?

Bachelorette is woman who know that she wants to marry before 25 or 30 years, but she doesn’t know who is her husband yet. Also, if she doesn’t manage with her plan in this period, she will make her standards lower and get marry in late thirties, for man who wish to get marry with her.

How to recognize bachelorette?

She will talk very early about her wedding gown, place for marriage and children. Maybe even after two months of relation.

She will talk about events, not so much about you.

She will make ultimatums with deadlines. 

She will talk about her friends who got married, and compare her relation with others.

She will introduce you to her parents and relatives very soon, You must get know your future family.

Women got surprised when their perfect match slips away. Also, they don’t understand that is their contribution. For sure, you can’t wait your husband for lifetime, but force is also not good idea. You are not product to offer herself with your values. Your partner has eyes and ears and he will make perception about you. Sometimes, you are simply not what he is looking for.

Here are one of the most often mistakes which women do:

I am beautiful, and nobody will reject me. So i will easy find husband.

I am beautiful so i must ask only rich and handsome husband.

I must marry until i am pretty because time is my enemy.

My mother and father will help me to find future husband. 

I don’t need to work because i will get marry for rich man.

I must push him a little, because men in generally don’t know what they wish in life.

I will get pregnant so he must marry me.

Probably Miloš smells the same trap when Nataša gave him offer. He felt like slave in slave trade. Where is his freedom of choice in this case? In modern times, women will more often use their charm to get marry, before partner propose them. This is kick in manhood, because man is the one who decide about marriage. Man will decide because he loves you, not because you are pretty, pregnant or famous. It doesn’t really matter if other thinks that you are perfect woman for him. What he thinks about you is more relevant.

Man who is in life crossroad needs space. Will he get marry or not, it doesn’t depends of bachelorette in his life. It depends about him. In Brazil, women will reject men few times, just to be sure will he try again. Unpredictable situations are better, when woman is the one who needs to say yes or no. So guy is waiting, nervous and sweaty, what will she say about his proposal. When man feels fear of losing, that is sign that he cares. Don’t torch him too long, but don’t jump on him on first hint that he wants to get marry.

Bachelorette might fall in one more trap, trap of flirting and sex. So, man will say yes on first sight, just to get sex and when this is over, he will runaway. Who can blame him, when he felt caught ? So in this case, Nataša got honest answer and save her time.

Life in blog sphere

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“How is it going on blog? Are you earning a lot? ” My friend asked me this before a long time, and said also : “I would like to write blog, too. “

I did not want to discourage her and break her illusions. Writing blog is not simple how it looks. Mostly, people live in dreams that they will be popular over night and that they will learn a lot of money.

If someone ask me how much i earn, i will frankly say : nothing. I did not want to pay domain which is too expensive , to monetize my blog. I have regular job and i have no time to visit many blogs and to pull people on the sleeves. I gave them freedom to read me if they like my posts. Also, i don’t let people to promote themselves on my blog page. I think everyone should pay promotion if they wish.

I am person who will never pretend. If i comment your content, it means i really like this. I am not person who will put thousand likes on your post and then say : “Wow, now look at my blog. ” This is old trick, we all know that such “admiration” indeed means that i did not read your content and that i only wanted to be noticed.

Another thing which every beginner at blog afraid are haters. Well, i must wake you up. There are no haters, there are only silent, ignorant people. Believe me, millions of bloggers are on Internet, and if you gain haters, it means they read you. So, you should be grateful for haters.

I want that you pay attention on chatters. Yes, that are those desperate people who come under your post, without reading it, and then comment how they spent day.  So, i had “pleasure” to read chat under my post about “man who lost his mom in storm. ” My deep condolence, but i am not so merciful that i will let therapy under my blog post. This is not place for this, and yes, therapists are well paid.

Also, don’t listen to people who try to make you guilty. “Oh, you are so rude. Why we can’t post links under your blog. We are all equal here. ” No, equity and equality are two different things. I did not give you permission to post your links, but i did not do the same at your blog. How would you feel in the case if i post about football under your religious post? Because, i am big football fan, i will post about Neymar and Messi under your prayers, because we are all equal?

Now, it is not all black, so i must say thanks to some sincere people who got my posts serious and inspired me with their stories. So, if i post story about broken heart, and you write about partner who left you, you are welcome. Why not to share your story (without link, of course). I am happy if my post wake up your memories, if my post made you smile or if you are wondering about your feelings.

In blog sphere everyone can find smart people who are very friendly. They will offer you page to share your links and to follow each other. I will do it when it comes time.

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Here is something what i very like to use, spam tool. When i see that comment is out of topic, i simple open trash box. Yes, you can write critics, but you can’t go out of topics or invite me to use some pages which will bring me viruses. I love my computers and phone, enough not to open it.

Blogging is bloody work. Some people will try to educate you, to preach you, to mock you, others will just ignore you or try to spam your page. This is all in human nature, to compete, to play , to annoy. I understand even this, some people are so lonely that they don’t make difference between blog and inbox, between internet and reality.

I believe everyone of you met with boring neighbor who knock at your door even you did not invite him or her, who sat at your table even you just came from work or who is here to ask you money or thousand favors. These are some bloggers, boring neighbors.

Now after this post i will get some haters . Just kidding. 🙂