Get over him in silence

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There is saying that silence is gold. It prevents us from hurting and bad influences from ugly words. Also, if you know to handle things quietly, you will keep your selfrespect and dignity untouchable.

Nick and Marsha met after 2 years of their breakup. They met in the street and they could not avoid each other , so they started little chat.

– How are you?

– Fine.

– How are you?

– I am fine too.

– Anything new?

– All is normal.

This was their conversation. Then they said bye. Unspoken words and silence talked more then words they said.

Marsha remembered their wild nights and his cheating around. Nick remembered of her great body and sharp mind. She never allowed him to rule with her, and he blamed her for being too independent. “You always has right.” – it was their sentence when they started conflict, one by one.

Some relation can’t be never fixed. If you start friendship, you will see obstacle like rock in the way. If you show feelings, more careness than is usual, things will be even worse. So they chose formality and silence.

Once when couple break up, large ammount of bitterness is in the air. If you want good memories, cover them with silence. Don’t digg and don’t start over and over again. Stop this clouds until they cause big storm.

Nick and Marsha walked away with peace in their hearts. Silence sealed their relation forever.

 

When relation comes to phase that words are sufficient, we must show sign stop. Close your mouth and don’t talk more. You agreed with breakup, now don’t change your mind. It is better to think that some things are in the air, than to ask something when damage is already done. Remember person how she was in her best edition. Let his smile stay in your memories and remind you on your best days. Next time, when you will walk with new love, you will say with healthy conscience that was your ex boyfriend. No regrets, guilty or rage from your side.

Some relations are as products with deadlines. When that deadline pass, that product is not useful anymore. Even worse, it will cause pains and unwanted side effects. Silence after breakup is painless solution. Nobody gets hurt, and you can go forward released from chains.

Which categories of men you should avoid?

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Some men will always walk away with short sleeves from love relations. It is not that they are cursed, ugly or stupid, they are not even poor. Simply, they are in category which is hard to love and women will runaway from them as they are diseased.

I was doing small research between men i know, with different statuses. Interesting thing is, the men who were in relations in past are just temporary alone, and soon they will find new love. They get out from relation, they are between two relation or in front of marriage. That are privileged members in x group. The other group are men who are single a long  time, and they are always rejected. These are members of y group. Between x and y, women will always choose x group.

Members of y group, men on black list:

Narcis. Type of man who is in love in himself. Handsome, elegant, but still alone. Women are avoiding him, they considered him as dull.

Cleaner. Man who lives alone, he is used to do all housework for himself. Flat is clean as drugstore, he cooks as master chief and his guests must follow his order. Women said that he doesn’t need partner. Who would clean and cook better than him?

Nerd. He knows all about computers, he is kind of geek, but his conversation doesn’t go further. Everyone yawn in his company.

Pussy boy. Man who has voice as woman. Sound of his voice is mix of Susan Boyle and Justin Bieber. It is nobody fault if his voice doesn’t have good sound, but you can help yourself with ice cube or smoking. Women like deep male voices. Or at least pleasent whisper, not screaming boy.

Gigolo. He will hunt only rich women, because he is without job. He needs financial support.

Man without standards. If you see guy in nightclub who is going from one woman to another and offer them beer, he is desperate to catch anybody. And woman can’t feel special. 

Virtual freak. Man who is behind his computer all day. He doesn’t know what kind of weather is outside.

Son of his mother. Your biggest rival will be his mother. He lives with her and he will probably still live in the same flat till the end of his life.

Pupil. That kid doesn’t have clue what to do with women. He expect teacher or nanny.

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Another group, with x members, was more successful.
Accord fact i know and stories i heard, they are in relation or married.

Financial independent men, with own flat and own job.

Men with life experience. If he knows what to do with women, they will have easier job. 

Rebels. Guys who are able to say no to social requests. Rejection in right place and on right time is always sexy.

Bodyguards. Not professional as David Hasselhoff or Jason Statham, but woman can lean on them if she falls into trouble.

Potential husbands

That man talks that he wish to marry one day. If guy denies marriage all the time, he is not desirable candidate for relation. Someone who talk about marriage as ebola cannot be good partner for common life.

Guys who can make you smile. Good sense for humor is hot stuff. It is very sexy when you have man besides you who knows to cheer you up.

The point is, there is no guarantee for love. You can be perfect and you will still be alone. But, if you have thousand failed attempts behind you, it is time to research your reasons. Change your perspective and reveal why women is avoiding you.

Typical example of speech which will use desperate guys:

“My life sucks. I am so poor. I will never find true love. In fact i hate women. I stopped to believe in love because women are liars. They are devils . The only purpose is sex and after that nothing else left. You did not reply on my message. You are so rude and bad girl.”

Desirable man will say this:

“I can’t promise you fabulous love story but i love to risk and if you dare to take challenge, try with me. What are your plans for tonight? “

How i understand love?

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I never liked sentence : He is the air that i breath. We talk on one mouth. He is my eyes and my ears.

Even it sounds wonderful to have such connected soulmate, i love to read behind lines and hidden notes are not so romantic. If he is the air you breath, it means you can’t breath independent. You can’t walk without leash and you can’t see more than he wants to show you.

Healthy relation is connection between two strong, independent minds. I love my partner’s differences. I love his freedom space, i love his silence even he doesn’t want to let me into his world. I found this as adrenalin, as challenge and i wish to dare. I offer something for return, i offer my hot temper and my wish for arguing. Even we sound as two lunatic, one numb and other mad hater, we will never get bored. I will try to smash his wall, and he will try to watering my fire.

Sometimes it looks like it is third world war between us. We hate each other, we try to destroy all nice between us. Or we just run from boredom, because boredom is love killer?

I love periods of harmony cause it sounds sweeter after big battles. My sword is getting cold and his bullets are in the fridge. Or we make sex pause and this war continues between sheets.

How i understand love? I see love as the biggest level of challenge, as battle, but also as special garden for only two plants. This plants can grow everywhere, but not to ruin ground where they are growing. This plants are not limited.

This love starts with discussion and finish with act. This contact start with critics and finish with kiss. This conversation starts with silence and finish with scream.

He is dangerous but never boring to me. For me, the biggest danger is boredom. After door closes, the last i want to see is yawn face. Even if he insults me, it will prove me that he is still into me. Dead rattle is the worst, so that is how i see love, when partner pinch you and use needles, but after this he uses bandages to heal your wounds.

As someone said to me : “You really have no peace. Wild spirit, hard to obey. Like wild horse, and it is interesting to hangout with wild horse. “

What if your soulmate is already taken?

 

It is not rarity that we fall in love in someone who is already taken. Heart doesn’t know for status, so we will keep our feelings even there is no hope to realize that love. Also, this is question of morality, why to involve in other relation and hurt someone? It could also happen to us so let’s not do something what can hit us as boomerang.

Sometimes, this forbidden person is not in so happy relation and if we discover this, chances are bigger. Everyone knows about familiar story Brangelina, when Angelina Jolie seduced Brad Pitt even he was in formal marriage with Jennifer Aniston. If they were so happy, that marriage would last. There was a hole and Angelina passed through this hole.

People stay in some relations, not always because they can’t live without each other. Sometimes, they will afraid to be alone or to hurt their partners, so they will stay even it doesn’t make them happy.

So, when you meet someone who is already taken, and you wish to involve, develop next strategy:

Ask your friends do they know something about this marriage or relation.

If person send you signals, accept this and try to make close with him or her.

If you are involved in love triangle, ask your rights. It means, ask him to break his regular relation.

Don’t wait too long. As much you wait, your chances are smaller.

Take your time and choose moment, don’t let your partner to delay. Sometimes, owner of your heart will sit on two chairs and this status quo situation will be comfortable for him.

Norma was manual worker, in cotton factory. She was young, only 23, when she fall in love in his boss Sam. He was 20 years older than she, and married, about 10 years. He did not agree with his wife, they had no children and conflicts between them were unbearable. But, his wife did not wish divorce, because they were both rich and she did not want to lose her comfortable zone. Norma and  Sam get involved after 6 months, and his wife found out for them. It was rough time, but Norma did not want to give up. So finally Sam got divorce, after she accepted some financial terms. He gave car and flat to his wife and she let him go. Now days, Sam and Norma were married couple, with two daughters.

When couples split because of third person, they will accuse each other for betrayal or fraud. 
Indeed, if they break up, it is not because someone invades in other space. They simply lost interest or they did not work on relation. If they had much conflicts, or if they simply pushed their problems away, with time this relation will be just empty bag. Plans did not realize, they are disappointed and appearance of third person is just an alert.

In opposite case, if couples love each other, if they spend much time together and they are devoted, third person will be only stone on the road. They will hit that stone far away. Then status taken has sense, because it doesn’t include nobody else.

Did you try to refresh relation with your ex?

Ways of heart are strange  and love is unpredictable phenomenon. We can love same person twice because first time maybe we were not ready and mature enough to realize that is true love. Sometimes, couple will split and then make reunion again after a while because they missed each other too much and something left unsaid.

When is it possible, on which way you can fix your broken relation and start again?

Think about what separated you in past.

Reasons might be : 

 

if your partner went in another city and you meet him after some time, if you are both still single

– if you were both too young and your relation broke , so you can meet again in mature ages

– if tradition, religion, parents did not approve your love, you can split temporary or hide, then it is possible to continue relation in other circumstances

 

Just, be careful if you want to be together with the same person again.

That person can use fake reasons to misguide you for his selfish purpose.

For example in this cases:

you were poor, now you earn big money

 

– you were the one who broke relation, now your ex partner wants to get revenge

 

– that person just want to make someone else jealous

– that person is lonely and he doesn’t have anyone new in his mind, so he tries with safe option

Relations are as mirrors. Once they broke, you can fix them, but you still see through cracks. Also, the same mistakes are not allowed anymore, because every time you say or do something what broke your trust, it will be flashback. Oh no, you did it again? He is again turn around every time when pretty woman appears? She again spent your money in shopping without ask you permission?

Richard Burton and Elisabeth Taylor were twice in marriage. This famous couple passed through split and reunion, they split again but she was love of his life. They were proof that love is not enough.

The same happened to Sienna Miller and Jude Law, they split and they were together again, but they were not meant to each other.

When you start new relation, you are without burden because everything is new.

You will be more relaxed with someone who is unknown for you and for your heart. But when you start relation with same person twice, you are nervous, because it is like you are reading the same book twice. Maybe you missed something important so you did not understand the point?

 

That is individual, and everyone can try. If it doesn’t work again, remember why this happened. Problems which appeared for the first time are still here, in second form, because you can’t still solve this. That is the reason why you stuck in abyss and there is no way out.

Did you fall in trap of superstition?

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If we could predict our future it would be step forward. Maybe we could avoid something unpleasant and stop things which we don’t want.  How to win in this race with unpredictable life?

Fanny can’t find normal boyfriend. She is blind in this tunnel of love. Every guy she met had something what rejected her at the end. So, she was printing their photos with one purpose. She will take this photos to clairvoyant. Fanny heard about man who lives in lonely house in the village. She paid him some money to see important things from this photos.

She was disappointed with result.

– You are insecure person Fanny. You can’t decide what you want. That men are unavailable at the moment and i don’t see clear what is on their mind. Seems vibration for today are not good.

Later, Fanny met with her best friend Alice.

– Dear, why you paid him for this? I could tell you some things from cup of coffee , without money. Sometimes you are really naive.

When you are in trouble and way out doesn’t exist, you will think about high forces.

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In this situation, you are perfect victim for any kind of fraud. So called seer can convince you that you are cursed and that someone put spell on you. Also, if you are unhappy in love, seer can help you too. You will get some materials and that guy you dream every night will be yours. Just , first you need to pay some money. But, what is money in compare with eternal happiness without spell or whole life with person you love? You can give all money you have, so result will be better and better.

One day Gypsy woman said to me that she wants to read from my palm. I accepted from joke, and she asked me money. I gave her small coins to check her. Suddenly she said to me that she can’t see future with so small amount of money. She said, that i have spell and if i don’t pay bigger money, this spell will ruin my life. I knew this was scam so i just left.

Some people are indeed talented to predict future. Even FBI will ask for a help from seers and that people are professional. They will not threat to others, they will do their job and it takes lot of energy and they are exhausted from their visions.

Other people are also talented, but for fraud. They will deceive innocent victims. Man in Croatia said to woman entrepreneur that she has spell and she paid him big money to clean this curse. He gave her stinky water and some other things, and for a return, he use her for marketing of his services, and he robbed her. He got six months of prison.

When you are desperate, or in panic, don’t let your fear to take over your mind. You can get devil’s offer. This will be promise that your problems will disappear over night. Instead of this, you can have bigger problems , how to return money you lost.

You want to dig into your future? Let’s cook coffee and go to your friend or neighbor to have some fun. Maybe they can see something useful, and for sure you will not leave with empty pockets.

How Murphy’s law surprises us?

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When something is bad, don’t worry. It might be worse. Everybody has one of that days, when everything is going wrong.

 

You get up and spill hot coffee on your white dress and then you must clean mess and get late at work. There you will meet grumpy boss and hysterical clients. When you finally can go to lunch pause, food in business restaurant will be disgusting and someone will sit near you to talk about work during you chew this bitter meal.

You will think that someone hit you with spell or made woodoo doll, but this is just bunch of negative circumstances. This is an opposite of what you wish because you sent wrong energy to universe, and universe reply you back with bad events.

Can we block our good luck? Yes, we can do it unintentionally.

Sheila wanted that guy Tony so much, and he was not cold toward her, but she had one unwanted admirer at her workplace. Brian was her roommate and it was hard to work with him, he gave her compliments about her looks, he was staring at her so she was blushing every time when he entered into office. Soon, she became very nervous.
She had date with Tony but she came at cafe bar under stress. Tony noticed that Sheila is grumpy.

– What is today with you sweetie?

– It is Brian again, i can’t work like this, he is jerk, moron and everything the worst. He commented my perfume , that it smells so seductive.

– Don’t pay attention dear, he will stop.

Sheila was too angry, and the main subject of that date was Brian. She could not focus on Tony even she wanted to be with him so much, so Tony left from this date because it was annoying for him. Sheila blamed bad luck, but she did not open gate to happiness. She was focused on problems all the time and it was no place for smile and good news.

When you practice Murphy’s law, you will open way to bad things in your life. It is hard to ignore problems, but if you think about something good, bad things will be more at background. Don’t make things worse, if it can’t be good at the moment.

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Murphy’s law is label for unhappy people, pessimists and losers.

Try to get rid of this bad mark with smile. No, you are not under spell, that is just bad day which will pass soon. You are not the only one, and probably everyone you met had the same experience. You attract what you feel, and if you feel angry, probably you will spill juice or jerk will send you to hell without reason.

Don’t let your belief to defines you. Despair and fear are not winner’s points when you try to make success. I

f you can’t on other way, pretend that everything is all right. Fake it until you make it.

Mind your own business

 

Privacy is our secret box. We decide shall we share it with others or not. Also, when we open view to this box to someone, this is the way how we give that person key in hands. This is trust, and it can be used and abused.

If you expect that everybody will be grateful to you for giving them trust, you are wrong. Snake is a snake, and if you don’t know well human character, you will be surprised why particular person hurts you. Because , if you trust to snake, he or she will spit poison when you less expect.

Very important thing is, separate private stuffs from your work. People at work are our cooperators and they should not know about our privacy , not all details.

Here is the example. Woman who speaks on the phone during work time, about her daughter who needs to go to gynecologist and she is still a virgin. Oh, how she will handle man doctor, she is so shy? Why should we know about this?

Some questions are not allowed even on job interview.

For example:

Are you married?

– Do you have children?

– Do you plan to have children?

People should respect the privacy of others, but also you can’t allow to interfere your privacy with business, it is necessary to leave your private problems at home. How to receive clients if your eyes are full of tears? How to represent your new project if you are so angry on your children that you cannot focus at work?

When Justin Bieber broke up with Selena Gomez, she did not feel good, but she had public appearance and she smiled, as real professional girl. These are situation when we must handle our private falls and downs and continue with smile. This is how strong characters work.

Of course, some things in our life are not easy and if we think we can’t , it is time that someone replace us in important task. We need to notify someone that our problems are serious and it will be solved on other way. Sandra had car accident and she did not notify her cooperators that meeting will be delayed. She made monkeys from people. Yes, they understand that she is wounded, but she is not in coma and she had cell phone to notify them. That woman was really messed up.

We cannot ask apologies if we interfere others in our problems, and if we are causers of troubles. This is responsibility, and real test for adult people.

Are you afraid of challenges?

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Remember game with the bottle in childhood? You are sitting in circle with friends, someone spin the bottle and when this stop spinning, person who is nearest to the bottle will answer on questions. This was unpleasant situation because question were challenges. Some games went so far that picked person should kiss someone.

This was childhood trauma. Girls were playing with Barbara, she was introvert and good material for cruel jokes. They said to her, kiss the tree, otherwise we will avoid you. But Barbara was tough and she rejected to made fool of yourself. Kissing tree was worse than kiss the ugliest guy. Everybody waited but she did not move. That act made her stubborn and later she did good career, because she despise authorities.

Monica was victim of “truth or dare.” She got questions about her sex life, and in circle were some unknown guys. She talked without shame how she changed few guys in her bed, and after this game guys were looking at her with different eyes. One of them wanted to flirt with her, because she was so open minded. She was indeed naive, because her story spread around. The rule of the game was “nothing can’t go out of this circle”, but nobody respected this. She had troubles with rumors about her. Every guy who asked her for a date wanted sex.

The third girl in circle was Andrea. She was silent and old fashioned. She replied on every question in a way ” i don’t have idea, because i never went through this.” Indeed, she was boring. She lived in safe box and she stayed like these until 35. Life saved  her many troubles, but she was prisoner in golden cage. She still lives with her mother and she thinks that God has solution for her. Prince charming will ring on her doorbell and she will be awarded for her purity. Recently guy fooled her on internet. He had fake photos and when they met at coffee he was different person. He said these were photos from his youth, and she was so disappointed.

Truth or dare is life question. Shall we accept challenges or not?
If we want to taste beauty of life, we will sign invisible contract. We accept to bleed inside, to suffer, to cry. Also we will have joyful days, full of life and happiness. Never regret because sometimes you feel that you are frozen, that you can’t get out from your house because life was unfair with you. You will be wiser and stronger after you solve your problems. Also, you will be grateful, because you broke this obstacles. This is pleasure, when you get something what was so difficult to reach.

Barbara was stubborn, Monica was naive, and Andrea was coward. They faced with problems on different ways. Life gave them what they earned in this truth or dare game.