When we love, the sky is under our feet. This is kind of feeling when we believe that we can get any score and fly without wings.
What happens when our love is not mutual and if this love is discarded because of someone else?
Sandy talked about Kevin, the guy who is on the same course with her, they are exercising tae kwon do. She noticed him before 2 years and she falls in love. Unfortunately, he did not fall for her. He was kind, once they were even in the coffee bar, but it was all. That was a conversation with official words:”thanks” “you welcome” “hello.”
She felt like in travel agency, in a way how they treat good customer:”Welcome and enjoy the journey.”
Then one day Sandy met Kevin in the city, with another girl, they were together, and later she found out they are a couple. She was desperate. She spent the time to dig out information about her and him, how long they are together, is that serious etc. During that time Sandy is, of course, a single girl. Her love is one-sided love and she is obsessed, and she doesn’t notice other men around her.
A long time ago J. W. Goethe wrote about Werther and his agony toward Lotta who was engaged to Albert, and that book ended with Werther suicide. He was refused and dumped.
How such beautiful feeling became a tragedy?
Indeed, the heart is stubborn. We can’t change the path of our heart, so we will fall in love in the person who is already taken, in a person who is very far from us, even we can fall in love in gay, and we are hetero. These are all obstacles and our brain must face it with fact. But the heart is stupid sometimes. We can cry, suffer, we can wish to revenge or to force someone to love us. Or to beg and to swallow our dignity.
Instead of this, we should think about the person who is subject to our desires. If a person honestly said no, we should respect it. That person respects us enough not to play with our feelings. If a person said “maybe” and steal our time, if a person sits among two chairs, that is nasty. Rejection is not a bad reaction. This is just choice we should accept.
Next step is to open eyes and to free space for the person who has the same feelings toward us. Because love takes two, connection happens when a person says yes.
Walter broke with Susan, but one month later she found other guy and she was grateful to Walter because he set her free from internal slavery. Now she can be even friend with Walter without any other feelings toward him.
So love doesn’t come with force or beg. Love comes by a spontaneous act. If you see person shows you signs, courage her to continue. If you feel coldness and ignorance, don’t insist. Don’t dig to find gold where is only stone. You might hit iron which will break your heart.