You are happy, so let’s laugh loud. You are angry so let’s yell and scream. In the moment of sadness, just cry. That are our natural reactions on influences outside. What society expects from us, are particular reactions in appropriate time, or lack of any reaction. Show just blank face, that is expected from you.
How many time you went to funeral but you could not cry? How many times you cried on weddings? And when you wanted to hug someone in public, but it was not somehow appropriate?
Our reactions are not always in harmony with rules of society. Sometimes we are forced to pretend happiness or kindness even that is not on our mind. New boss comes to your workplace. Now he needs warm welcome, bunch of kindness, smiles and sweet words. When Phoebe became boss of department, she did not leave good impression. Her first words were: “If you were lazy until now, i despise lazy people. You will see meaning of hard work under my authority.”
She expected fear or respect. Mostly her new colleagues were surprised so they stayed silent. Then Alan start to laugh loud, everybody were looking at him. He said : “Are you kidding me lady? You remind me on movie “Dictator.”
He dared to show something opposite, and Phoebe was angry, it was her defeat. She was not ready for this, because reaction on her sharp speech was unpredictable.
In society are drafts how we should behave, and what is appropriate. When my teacher in high school died from heart attack, i did not cry. I really could not stand him because he was always unpleasant and rude toward me. So i went to funeral from decency, but i saved my tears. Why to pretend something i don’t feel? Bunch of smarmy people cried for him because it was expected. They were almost as professional hired crying group. Who will cry more, they almost competed. I shown respect in silence, without making a big drama from this.
Some people are so dramatic in their emotional expressions. They want to show to world how they are angry or happy or sad. It is justified if emotions are real, what they feel inside. Not everybody like when someone laugh loud , but human nature is various. Hypocrisy is very ugly, if you laugh or cry by force or with purpose. Your boss said joke, and now you will laugh to please him. Even this is not funny, you will laugh, because you can get good point from his side. Maybe if you laugh on his jokes, your promotion will not wait too long.
Balance between your instincts and expectations from society is necessary solution. All right, that is ugly to laugh or joke at funeral, and also it is not nice to speak bad jokes at weddings, about bride and her former boyfriends. If you grab cakes with hands at birthday parties, you can leave impression that you never eat before.
What we feel inside when we are alone and what we show in publicity makes a big difference. This is indeed self defense in some situation. At workplace someone complained at you, but you will squeeze teeth and poker face is your backup. Who care about idiots, you know your values.
Human nature is not open book, we decide when to expose some pages to others. Which role you got in movie today? Prepare yourself and stay calm. Now movie is starting, you are on big monitor and audience is watching on you.