Poker game with life

Why something is going wrong even we expected different? It was not meant to be. God had different path for us. I am cursed, psychic told me that i will never be happy. I did not give coin to beggar so i will pay my karma.

Making apologies for our problems and mistakes is an easier way to accept failure. It is harder to say, that we even did not try, we were lazy or just delusional about some situations.

We are creators of our happiness. It is true that some things in life we cannot predict or stop, but we have choice between more life paths. Life will give us cards, and we will play. It depends about our strategies, how we will play with this cards. Good player play with bad cards, but still there is a chance to win. Bad player play with good cards and still there is a chance to lose.

What is considered as destiny indeed is an opportunity.

We will fail in our attempts because we don’t use chances in front of us. If we afraid of changes, this makes things more difficult. 



How to solve problem if we can’t move on?

There are more kind of opportunities.

missed opportunities

– opportunities which are not recognized

– opportunities which are not created

Three women wanted to find partners. They were invited on birthday party in restaurant, organized by mutual friend. All that women stuck because they failed on different ways, and result was zero. They did not pass in this life math.

Eva was grumpy whole evening, she recently broke up with boyfriend and she forgot to smile. Nobody contacted her , because on her face was word “don’t approach, i will bite you.”

Sonia talked with Sam. He was kind and nice, but Sonia talked also on her cell phone whole evening. She stuck between two conversation, one with her boss on cell phone, other with charming Sam. He did not asked for her number at the end of this evening because she was not focused.

Lana noticed handsome Paul, but he did not noticed her, he was busy with her blonde girlfriend. Lana was sitting near Glen, and he wanted to pay attention on himself. He was jumping around her with glasses of champagne and plate with cake and she did not even say thanks. Paul was her choice, but he was taken. When Paul left earlier, Lana wanted to talk with Glen because she felt alone, but Glen also left the party.

That women met together after one week. They blamed bad luck, bad position of zodiac planet this evening and strange paths of destiny. Neither one said what really happened.

Sometimes, we are on the right time in the right place, but we stuck on wrong path. Our thinking and our attitude is not the right one, and result will be negative.

When we play poker game with life, it is not enough to have good cards. Also, we must offer good strategy and joker from the pocket, as our plan B or plan C.

That is why quote says : do it today, or regret it tomorrow. This chance might never happen again.

Outsiders

 

Accept me as i am. I don’t wish to pretend, i am bad actor. I am not perfect, but i hope you will love mine imperfections. That are wishes of many people, to be accepted without change. Now here is another wish, in opposition with your personality. You wish to fit in society, because long time you were standing out. So how to fit in your workplace, school or in family of your life partner?

Outsiders and intruders will always exist. Some people love to be alone and rebellious. Others would like to be respectable members of community, but others underestimate and humiliate them because they are not accord standards. People are hungry for power and many wish to win position of leader. 

Two girls, Mabel and Sylvia  went to journey with their classmates from high school. Mabel was conformist, and Sylvia was outsider. From the first moment Mabel was clown, because she never smoked and never kissed a guy. People made pranks with her, and she was following tips form others. She was coughing but yet she did not want to stop smoking. Guy who kissed her was ugly, but she wanted to prove that she is adult girl. Later, some boys had weed and Mabel was again experimental rabbit. When she started to puke, nobody cared. 

Sylvia should share room in this hotel with Mabel, but during that circus, when guys were all the time in their toilet, she left room with her bags. She asked teacher to move in another free room. During that time, nobody talked with Sylvia, she was walking near sea coast and she was very sad. She met girl from other class and they started to talk, and she invited Sylvia in the nightclub. She found new friend. After journey Mabel and Sylvia did not talked for a few months. Later Mabel said to Sylvia : “You were right, they made fool of me. I just wanted to fit in. “

How far people will go just to be noticed and accepted?

They will try to copy others in their behavior.

They will left old friends to be closer with new friends.

They will left girlfriend or boyfriend if they are not suitable.

They will break their habits, destroy previous principles and swallow lies from others, just to fit in.

Loneliness is not bad if you know who you are and why you defend your rights. Sooner or later, you will find someone who will support you. People will just recognize you, not because you are chasing them or you want to enter into their ass. They will admire to you because you have courage to be different, and not to annoy anyone with your original personality. If you are spontaneous person, people will give you hand.

There is no need to visit places where are lot of people, because everyone will go there. You don’t have to vote for popular political group. You don’t need to scream when Justin Bieber appears on TV. Also, you don’t need to follow guy with big motorcycle because girls are fighting for him. 

Maybe you will not be accepted in circle you wish to be. Look at this as sign, you belong to somewhere else.

Bride from last train

Pressure of society is thunder on your bright mind. When community expect from you to stick with rules, only strong character will resist. The rest will follow ethic in fear not to be judged or crucified as intruders. As much men are afraid to go early into marriage life, women are under fear to finish as old maids. 

Croatian proverb says : “Don’t miss the last train. ” It could be related on women who are not married yet, to catch a man and get bonded until is not too late. Statistic said that average age when women get marry in Croatia is 27. So, since 18 women are in race, to catch man, buy wedding dress and raise a family. 

As teenager i spent many years as single girl, from period of 16 until 23 i was mostly single, with 2 short relations not worthy of memory . It was not hard for me cause i was busy with reading, focused on my college and i had lot of fun with my friends. It was period when i fall in love quick, chill out more quick and make cuts for everything what’s bothers me. 

In that period, i got two worst advices ever, made by my two good friends.

Advice number one :

 Find a boyfriend, even he is ugly, you will feel safe, it is not important who is, just not to be alone.

Advice number two :

Don’t be so picky, because everyone here is already picked. 

I had two friends, girls who got married in 25. They had serious boyfriends in high school and already on prom night they had plans with them. When i was partying, they already bought gowns, made a lists of guests on their wedding parties and went into married zone. They did not invite me at wedding. 

Society did good work because both of my friends had unhappy relations before and they wanted to forget on love wounds, so they found nice guys to get marry. Fear from last train was so huge that they went into cabin and locked themselves with their partners, just not to be judged later. Of course, i did not listen their advices and i went to romantic hell alone many years later, because i did not want to get marry just to get marry. 

Here is list of last train reasons, where is not love:

He is good person and he will not cheat me, i know because he had only girl before me. He is serious.

He has money. Material security is very important.

His parents adore me. They see me as daughter in law.

We are friends for a long time. He will respect me.

I am already 25 years old. My choice will be smaller with years.

As time passed by, i was aware of risk. I will admit, i was afraid not to stay alone. I had one more fear, which was bigger than first, that was nightmare indeed. What if i finish with wrong person? I saw marriages which did not work out, because of many reasons. I set myself free of everything and decided to be a gambler. All or nothing. It was worthy, i got my jackpot. I was not so young when i got married, i did not catch last train. I saw this train and i did not enter there. I ride on bike instead of train. Now i feel good on my bike, we two are riding together. 

Nowadays i see more and more girls who leave that last train. They got marry in thirties, forties and don’t care what will people say. Here is one interesting fact from my high school: on 15 prom anniversary 4 married couples got divorced. They married under society’s pressure too early, and it failed. I was witness of their wrong decisions. This feeling is similar when you vomit: you want to throw out your food because stomach pains, so you do it with force.  When you can’t swallow something, spit it out.

Sometimes, having courage to say no is your best card. The one who smile last will smile on the sweetest way. 

I love you – real meaning

 

In the moment when you feel something special for special person, your heart will poke you to say “i love you. ” These words are on the top of emotional list, and there is a need to say this. You can’t imagine day without him, he makes you happy, so why not to say “i love you”? Now, i ask you, when to say i love you, is it necessary to make deadline for these words, or you might just jump with this, because spontaneous factor is way of loving someone?

Imagine young couple in relation. This kids are not mature, so words “i love you” might terrify them. Young boy feels obligation after his girlfriend said to him this meaningful words, and girl feels fear, that he will abandon her, after she puts her last cards on the desk. After you say “i love you” you are busted. Now, your partner got your trust, love and devotion in his hands. So, this is double sword. If partner loves you, he will care not to hurt your feelings. That is commitment. He might do something bad, and you will say : “Why you said you love me, when your acts say an opposite?”

When i talked with my husband about expression of feelings, he said that he was afraid to say me that he loves me at the start of our relation. It would be too easy, too fast and he would rush. Then i would not believe him. He said this after some time, but then i was sure that i can believe him. Before these meaningful words, he did a lot things for me. He introduced me to his parents, to his friends, we did not made love yet, and i had kind of guarantee that relation is real love. Especially, it was different from my other relations, where guys rushed with this words, just to drag me into bed. 

You might think that you will easy recognize player after some bad experiences, but you are wrong. Manipulators use “i love you” on many different ways. Guy will do everything to persuade you that he is the one, just to make love with you. If you are lonely, broken from previous relations, if you have lack of self esteem, you will trust him. Manipulators use this words as candies for kids, and you might fall in this sweet trap. This is paradox , because girls will complain about guys who did not show them feelings openly, but in the same time they will jump in trap called “i love you. “

Let’s say you are playing cards. In the beginning of game, you spend all your strong cards, aces are on the table, and your opponent did not started yet. Now, suddenly you are out of game. Similar situation is with “i love you.” These words escaped from your mouth after one night with your boyfriend. 

How you will know that you should not say ” i love you”?

He did not call you next day.

He delayed meeting with you, he is suddenly busy.

He started with sentences as ” i am not sure”, “we will talk about this later. “

He wants to go out with his guys for weekend. 

He wish to be free, don’t take it personally, but he thinks he needs some space.

Besides all, if woman says “i love you” , this is the same as she would propose guy. She took first step, which is not well. It is different when guy says ” i love you”, but also, as i said, after he did actions which will prove his intentions. That is like you wish to make cake. Cream will come at the end, isn’t it? Otherwise, that will be only cream, but without firm cookie dough. Cream will melt, and you will stay with empty hands and hungry.

Truth or dare

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Remember game with the bottle in childhood? You are sitting in circle with friends, someone spin the bottle and when this stop spinning, person who is nearest to the bottle will answer on questions. This was unpleasant situation because question were challenges. Some games went so far that picked person should kiss someone. 

This was childhood trauma. Girls were playing with Barbara, she was introvert and good material for cruel jokes. They said to her, kiss the tree, otherwise we will avoid you. But Barbara was tough and she rejected to made fool of yourself. Kissing tree was worse than kiss the ugliest guy. Everybody waited but she did not move. That act made her stubborn and later she did good career, because she despise authorities.

Monica was victim of “truth or dare.” She got questions about her sex life, and in circle were some unknown guys. She talked without shame how she changed few guys in her bed, and after this game guys were looking at her with different eyes. One of them wanted to flirt with her, because she was so open minded. She was indeed naive, because her story spread around. The rule of the game was “nothing can’t go out of this circle”, but nobody respected this. She had troubles with rumors about her. Every guy who asked her for a date wanted sex. 

The third girl in circle was Andrea. She was silent and old fashioned. She replied on every question in a way ” i don’t have idea, because i never went through this.” Indeed, she was boring. She lived in safe box and she stayed like these until 35. Life saved  her many troubles, but she was prisoner in golden cage. She still lives with her mother and she thinks that God has solution for her. Prince charming will ring on her doorbell and she will be awarded for her purity. Recently guy fooled her on internet. He had fake photos and when they met at coffee he was different person. He said these were photos from his youth, and she was so disappointed. 

Truth or dare is life question. Shall we accept challenges or not? 


If we want to taste beauty of life, we will sign invisible contract. We accept to bleed inside, to suffer, to cry. Also we will have joyful days, full of life and happiness. Never regret because sometimes you feel that you are frozen, that you can’t get out from your house because life was unfair with you. You will be wiser and stronger after you solve your problems. Also, you will be grateful, because you broke this obstacles. This is pleasure, when you get something what was so difficult to reach. 

Barbara was stubborn, Monica was naive, and Andrea was coward. They faced with problems on different ways. Life gave them what they earned in this truth or dare game. 

Compassion against dignity

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Life brings us every kind of problems, but it is easier to deal with it when we are healthy. In the case when person became an invalid, things are getting harder. 

Everything we do until now change. 

Things have different meaning, different shape and world is harder place. But what is really necessary to do when person got sick, in the case on invalidity or any trouble which makes life harder?

The worst thing we can do is sorrow, to treat that person as little child.

Here are examples how that people wanted to save dignity at the first place. They wanted to be treated as others.

1. Peter uses wheelchair. He is passionable gambler, and he spent almost every day in casino. First other players looked at him with mercy, but then they accepted him as one of them. He uses his wheelchair alone, he doesn’t allow any help and even he have big luck in slot machines. This passion means to him much more than tears, crying or prayers. Here, in casino Peter feels that he is still alive.

2. Joan had cancer in uterus, first degree. Her family gathered around her and she saw all relatives , some people she did not see for a years. They talked about death, sickness, they gave her advices and support, they talked about other examples and tragedies. Joan wanted to send them all to hell. When her daughter came at weekend from another city, Joan asked her about ironing. Joan was ironing her underwear and she was so happy that she can be still useful. Joan is still alive thanks to surgery and x-rays. Her family members treat her now like nothing happened. They learnt lesson.

3. Steve is blind, he has stick and he is working 4 hours on telephone , for one company. When he finish with work, he must cross the street. There is big traffic and lot of fast cars. But Steve doesn’t allow anybody to help him. He learnt to live in the dark and he is crossing road alone. Only in free time he has dog, and he will accept only help from his dog.

4. It was important football match, on the square was big ecran and everyone wanted to see that. Thomas was in wheelchair. Young couple bought a beer for  him. Thomas said thanks to young couple, they were really nice. For half hour , Thomas used his wheelchair to move into crowd, he caught waitress and asked her to bring more beer to his friends. They accepted and make a toast for Thomas and for football team. Thomas felt like he is young again.

When life brings us troubles, we can’t allow defeat. The worst thing we can do is to burry our closest family members or friend, before they die. We must give them reason to live, and that reason is not sorrow, we can’t treat them like they are less worthy. Depression is silent killer, and if you treat someone as helpless creature, that person will fall down. He/she will be angry and sad, because of your treatment.

Show them that sun is still shining. Maybe in different way than before, but life must go on.

Hungry like a wolf

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Conscience – the biggest invisible executer which person could have. It prevents us to do something wrong and punish us if we do it. If you have even little amount of emotions, you will cry after you did something wrong to someone who did not deserve it. Or, you will not sleep well at night. If you are cheater, and you never admit it to your partner, you will walk around with bags under your eyes and burden on your back.

Media wrote about romantic story about guy who was travelling 30 hours by plane to visit her girl at vacation. She called him that he miss her, so he decided to surprise her. Even it sound very touchful, remember that thing should have good financial background. You need money to pay the flight , free days if you are working and something to eat until you get on your destination. Another thing, is girl really called him because he missed her? Maybe she had opportunity to cheat and did not do it. Maybe that was call for help. Or maybe she did it and she want to wipe her sins. This year Big Brother in Croatia had interesting situation. Marina, one of girls, cheated her regular boyfriend with one of the competitors. She cried and kissed his picture, but at the end she walked out with rival who caught her heart. This was cry of conscience.

It brings me to next question. Do we cry for others or for ourselves when we do something wrong, as cheating is?

Guy X is married father with two children. He had virtual romance with beautiful woman. He said : “I don’t want to hurt her. ” He said he did not want to hurt mistress, not his wife. That is because he knows that he will never leave wife and mistress will got hurt. Wife is a victim but she will never know. Mistress knows what will happen so she is bigger victim. Until wife got knife in back, mistress got bullet in heart.

If you are attractive, interesting person, you will be surrounded by bunch of interesting people too. Many chances for thief, isn’t it? Sometimes we can feed our ego with talking, innocent hug and trading meaningful blinks and hints, and that will be enough. Wolf is eating, sheep is alive. Well, sometimes person is so hungry that she will eat sheep and turn into bloody wolf.

Smart person will change her strategy as professional football coach. Today i said i love you, but tomorrow i can’t effort this so i will say i like you and i respect you, but i want to be on distance with you. If you felt desire and yet you did not do it, stop on time. If you already did it, be quiet and pretend that nothing happened.

You will be surprised how your best people can judge you because you drink coffee with someone you should not, or you just gave compliment to wrong person. And if you step out from safe zone, even worse. They will say they would never do this. In fact they did not dare or made control due another things. Sometimes, love is not the reason why you did not cheat. It is reputation, safety, financial security and fear from loneliness. That is what people are ashamed about, that they did not step into forbidden zone because of wrong reasons.

Did you ever thought something like this: “Well i don’t feel passionable rays, but i don’t want someone other on my place so i will not move on. ” That is something we ashamed about when we think about other person. Real love is full of some poisoned ingredients, especially if you cherish this by years. That you will sometimes get bored, or you would like to taste something else, and when you feel this will disappear, suddenly you change your direction. That is why men says : “I love my wife”, when sexy mistress ask to leave her. At least, who would better understand their farting and dirty socks than wife who shares bed with them and clean after them ?

 

Let me sin one more time

Repeating is mother of knowledge. I can say this with dose of irony, more you repeat the same mistake, you will learn more and title of master is yours. The problem is, time is running and if you stay in one place, frozen in the same situations without exit, your chances to find final solution are smaller.

In which life areas we repeat fatal mistakes, even we know that it will not work out? 

Look at your job. You know it is not good to get late at work, but you will did it again, because you don’t like your job, you don’t want to get up earlier to come on time or you don’t want to move more near to your workplace. Also, you don’t stick to deadlines because you lost motivation. You will be maybe fired, but who cares?

Private area is even worse. How much time you involved with the same man, and he disappointed you again? You don’t wish to be alone or you don’t want changes. Also, maybe you change guys, but all are from the same box. Young, wild, immature, and bad material for wedding.

What about friendship? You forgive to your friends once, twice, third time, but they still make your life miserable, they make fool of you and you swallow bitter meal.

Lisa involved with Adrian four times. All her friends laughed to her, but she had limitless patience. When he screwed things again, she was ready to forgive for a fifth time. Then she opened their Skype conversation, scrolled down all messages, and read again and again. She was in the same movie. That messages were mirror of whole relation. “You are good girl, but i need changes from time to time. I don’t want to hurt you, but it happens. ” She cried and made final decision. She knew one thing, forgiveness is not cure this time. She needs to move on. 

What is the point? 

We learn from our mistakes when we can’t repeat them anymore. Reasons are various. We have no more time or it will hurt us too much. Our nerves can’t handle more pains. If we grab things always from the same box, content is very familiar. There is nothing new to find out. So, when someone asks you for one more chance, think about how much credit you gave already. Maybe that person has no right for bonus anymore.

Defected phone

Every gossip was once just small story. With time it was growing into big news. People will always have fun with updated stories about the same event, especially if this is something what someone likes to hear.


When Laura split with Peter, his version of story was:

” She was obssesed with me. Also very jealous on everybody in my presence. She believed that she is the best and more worthy than everyone else. It was nightmare for me, because that woman loved herself so much that i felt she is cheating me with herself. I was just small spot in her life.”

Laura said different story.

” He was playboy and cheater. He did not had standards at all. Even cleaner lady in his office could have sex with him, because he is not picky. And he is crying man without guts, so in this relation i was the one who wear trousers. I want real man, not toy boy.”

Their common friends had much fun with this story. But as defected phone, when such story is spreading around, people will hear many updates. So, next Peter’s girlfriend, Hellen, heard this story:

I think Peter is bisexual, because once she caught him how to use her parfume. Imagine this. And Laura has problem with nerves, she is control freak and i heard once he slaped him so heard that he had black eye.”

 

When two people split, dirty laundry will appear everywhere. Today on social networks, you can be kind of buzz, which is very unpleasent. Something was saint once, and the same is tool for laugh today. Big Brother is watching everywhere, and without censure.

If you respected and loved your ex, go forward and forget. Or you wish to taste celebrity life, at least for one day?

Crucifix for mistress

 

These days is popular new viral hit : two fat married women beat mistress in bikini because she has stolen their husbands. Nobody involved in that street fight, poor mistress was half naked and two Godzilla women made revenge. 

Really, what would you think at first, if you were cheated? To kill the bitch, slap her, make her ashamed? That is first instinct which that two women made real . Well, if they expected that people will clap hands, they are wrong. Only minority will approve this savage act, and mostly will ask : what is with husbands, will they get kick in their asses? After all, husband started this. In such situations, woman’s logic fails , they will not blame husbands because “he is seduced”, “he was drunk”, “we had conflict and i did not want to sleep with him”, “he wanted to make me jealous. ” This bunch of excuses will pass over their mind, without question what is wrong with them and their marriage.

I will not say that it can happen to anybody. Human species in not identified with angels. We are indeed not monogamous. Well, there is difference between humans and animals : control over your desires and moral standards. Obligations, loyalty and conscience. After all, you can go if you don’t feel good in marriage. If street cat likes few cats, he will jump on them. If i like another men, i will look at them and walk away because i am already taken. There is difference between short sparks and eternal flame.

Now here is another part, why some women have problem with unfaithful husband?

I will say few reasons, mostly in common:

Woman gets fat in marriage.

Without chauvinism, i am realistic when i say that getting fat is not sexy. Don’t blame him if he starts to stare around.

Couples are constantly arguing.

Small conflicts, from time to time are stimulative. Big conflicts without ending are not recommended. We are tired from work, and imagine when you are coming home and instead of dinner there is topic about your failed personality. 

Couples have no topic to talk about.

When you are both silent, troubles are on the way. 

Couples are too busy to work on marriage.

Always is another thing more important. Your kids, your job, your washing machine. What about him?

Now, i start to look on these two women with pity. What if they tried to fight back , in a way to find lover? Very hard. First, they need to lose at weight. Then, they need to calm down otherwise all men will runaway from them. Also, they must look inside into their marriage. Really, do you want to cook to unfaithful husband, you want to wash and iron his laundry after he had sex with another woman? You want to sleep with him after another woman touched him?

It is very easy to be mistress. Once i was dating with engaged man. We dated three times. He said that he will introduce me as his boss at work. After his mother saw me , she asked him “Where is your fiance?” This made me thinking, i don’t want to be in this relation. They already redecorated flat, but he got bored with bills, furniture and now he needs to feel young again. I gave up because i felt sorry for this fiance. 

Now, when i am thinking as wife, it is not easy to be wife. You are completely in this . This is not only your fantastic skills in bed, your makeup and clothes, your smile. This is bunch of dirty plates, socks, bills, family, and other things. This is responsibility. What happens wrong , some women get lost in responsibilities and forget to date with their husbands. Imagine that guy who falls in love in young, slim woman, and 20 years after he saw big Godzilla who threats him with dirty fork because he did not clean the table?

I recommend women to be wiser than mistress. Don’t spend all your money on furniture, it is not important what kind of color and shape is your kitchen. Spend part of money on your physical look, remind your partner that you are still desirable and don’t eat whole hamburger in front of him. Talk with another men. Add them on your social network. Your husband must feel that you are still unavailable for him, in some sense.

Forget paddle and fight. Even if you break slut’s legs, she will still be there and wait your partner if he gets mad. You will just give her additional points, to feel as lame victim with broken bones. Also you might get to court and pay money penalty or serve into jail, because your acts were faster than your mind.