lesson · lies · life · psychology · rebellion · relations · responsibility · society

Poker game with life

Why something is going wrong even we expected different? It was not meant to be. God had different path for us. I am cursed, psychic told me that i will never be happy. I did not give coin to beggar so i will pay my karma.

Making apologies for our problems and mistakes is an easier way to accept failure. It is harder to say, that we even did not try, we were lazy or just delusional about some situations.

We are creators of our happiness. It is true that some things in life we cannot predict or stop, but we have choice between more life paths. Life will give us cards, and we will play. It depends about our strategies, how we will play with this cards. Good player play with bad cards, but still there is a chance to win. Bad player play with good cards and still there is a chance to lose.

What is considered as destiny indeed is an opportunity.

We will fail in our attempts because we don’t use chances in front of us. If we afraid of changes, this makes things more difficult. 



How to solve problem if we can’t move on?

There are more kind of opportunities.

missed opportunities

– opportunities which are not recognized

– opportunities which are not created

Three women wanted to find partners. They were invited on birthday party in restaurant, organized by mutual friend. All that women stuck because they failed on different ways, and result was zero. They did not pass in this life math.

Eva was grumpy whole evening, she recently broke up with boyfriend and she forgot to smile. Nobody contacted her , because on her face was word “don’t approach, i will bite you.”

Sonia talked with Sam. He was kind and nice, but Sonia talked also on her cell phone whole evening. She stuck between two conversation, one with her boss on cell phone, other with charming Sam. He did not asked for her number at the end of this evening because she was not focused.

Lana noticed handsome Paul, but he did not noticed her, he was busy with her blonde girlfriend. Lana was sitting near Glen, and he wanted to pay attention on himself. He was jumping around her with glasses of champagne and plate with cake and she did not even say thanks. Paul was her choice, but he was taken. When Paul left earlier, Lana wanted to talk with Glen because she felt alone, but Glen also left the party.

That women met together after one week. They blamed bad luck, bad position of zodiac planet this evening and strange paths of destiny. Neither one said what really happened.

Sometimes, we are on the right time in the right place, but we stuck on wrong path. Our thinking and our attitude is not the right one, and result will be negative.

When we play poker game with life, it is not enough to have good cards. Also, we must offer good strategy and joker from the pocket, as our plan B or plan C.

That is why quote says : do it today, or regret it tomorrow. This chance might never happen again.

behavior · discrimination · loyalty · psychology · rebellion

Outsiders

 

Accept me as i am. I don’t wish to pretend, i am bad actor. I am not perfect, but i hope you will love mine imperfections. That are wishes of many people, to be accepted without change. Now here is another wish, in opposition with your personality. You wish to fit in society, because long time you were standing out. So how to fit in your workplace, school or in family of your life partner?

Outsiders and intruders will always exist. Some people love to be alone and rebellious. Others would like to be respectable members of community, but others underestimate and humiliate them because they are not accord standards. People are hungry for power and many wish to win position of leader. 

Two girls, Mabel and Sylvia  went to journey with their classmates from high school. Mabel was conformist, and Sylvia was outsider. From the first moment Mabel was clown, because she never smoked and never kissed a guy. People made pranks with her, and she was following tips form others. She was coughing but yet she did not want to stop smoking. Guy who kissed her was ugly, but she wanted to prove that she is adult girl. Later, some boys had weed and Mabel was again experimental rabbit. When she started to puke, nobody cared. 

Sylvia should share room in this hotel with Mabel, but during that circus, when guys were all the time in their toilet, she left room with her bags. She asked teacher to move in another free room. During that time, nobody talked with Sylvia, she was walking near sea coast and she was very sad. She met girl from other class and they started to talk, and she invited Sylvia in the nightclub. She found new friend. After journey Mabel and Sylvia did not talked for a few months. Later Mabel said to Sylvia : “You were right, they made fool of me. I just wanted to fit in. “

How far people will go just to be noticed and accepted?

They will try to copy others in their behavior.

They will left old friends to be closer with new friends.

They will left girlfriend or boyfriend if they are not suitable.

They will break their habits, destroy previous principles and swallow lies from others, just to fit in.

Loneliness is not bad if you know who you are and why you defend your rights. Sooner or later, you will find someone who will support you. People will just recognize you, not because you are chasing them or you want to enter into their ass. They will admire to you because you have courage to be different, and not to annoy anyone with your original personality. If you are spontaneous person, people will give you hand.

There is no need to visit places where are lot of people, because everyone will go there. You don’t have to vote for popular political group. You don’t need to scream when Justin Bieber appears on TV. Also, you don’t need to follow guy with big motorcycle because girls are fighting for him. 

Maybe you will not be accepted in circle you wish to be. Look at this as sign, you belong to somewhere else.

cougar · couples · marriage · psychology · relations · romance

Bride from last train

Pressure of society is thunder on your bright mind. When community expect from you to stick with rules, only strong character will resist. The rest will follow ethic in fear not to be judged or crucified as intruders. As much men are afraid to go early into marriage life, women are under fear to finish as old maids. 

Croatian proverb says : “Don’t miss the last train. ” It could be related on women who are not married yet, to catch a man and get bonded until is not too late. Statistic said that average age when women get marry in Croatia is 27. So, since 18 women are in race, to catch man, buy wedding dress and raise a family. 

As teenager i spent many years as single girl, from period of 16 until 23 i was mostly single, with 2 short relations not worthy of memory . It was not hard for me cause i was busy with reading, focused on my college and i had lot of fun with my friends. It was period when i fall in love quick, chill out more quick and make cuts for everything what’s bothers me. 

In that period, i got two worst advices ever, made by my two good friends.

Advice number one :

 Find a boyfriend, even he is ugly, you will feel safe, it is not important who is, just not to be alone.

Advice number two :

Don’t be so picky, because everyone here is already picked. 

I had two friends, girls who got married in 25. They had serious boyfriends in high school and already on prom night they had plans with them. When i was partying, they already bought gowns, made a lists of guests on their wedding parties and went into married zone. They did not invite me at wedding. 

Society did good work because both of my friends had unhappy relations before and they wanted to forget on love wounds, so they found nice guys to get marry. Fear from last train was so huge that they went into cabin and locked themselves with their partners, just not to be judged later. Of course, i did not listen their advices and i went to romantic hell alone many years later, because i did not want to get marry just to get marry. 

Here is list of last train reasons, where is not love:

He is good person and he will not cheat me, i know because he had only girl before me. He is serious.

He has money. Material security is very important.

His parents adore me. They see me as daughter in law.

We are friends for a long time. He will respect me.

I am already 25 years old. My choice will be smaller with years.

As time passed by, i was aware of risk. I will admit, i was afraid not to stay alone. I had one more fear, which was bigger than first, that was nightmare indeed. What if i finish with wrong person? I saw marriages which did not work out, because of many reasons. I set myself free of everything and decided to be a gambler. All or nothing. It was worthy, i got my jackpot. I was not so young when i got married, i did not catch last train. I saw this train and i did not enter there. I ride on bike instead of train. Now i feel good on my bike, we two are riding together. 

Nowadays i see more and more girls who leave that last train. They got marry in thirties, forties and don’t care what will people say. Here is one interesting fact from my high school: on 15 prom anniversary 4 married couples got divorced. They married under society’s pressure too early, and it failed. I was witness of their wrong decisions. This feeling is similar when you vomit: you want to throw out your food because stomach pains, so you do it with force.  When you can’t swallow something, spit it out.

Sometimes, having courage to say no is your best card. The one who smile last will smile on the sweetest way. 

couples · life · psychology · relations · romance

I love you – real meaning

 

In the moment when you feel something special for special person, your heart will poke you to say “i love you. ” These words are on the top of emotional list, and there is a need to say this. You can’t imagine day without him, he makes you happy, so why not to say “i love you”? Now, i ask you, when to say i love you, is it necessary to make deadline for these words, or you might just jump with this, because spontaneous factor is way of loving someone?

Imagine young couple in relation. This kids are not mature, so words “i love you” might terrify them. Young boy feels obligation after his girlfriend said to him this meaningful words, and girl feels fear, that he will abandon her, after she puts her last cards on the desk. After you say “i love you” you are busted. Now, your partner got your trust, love and devotion in his hands. So, this is double sword. If partner loves you, he will care not to hurt your feelings. That is commitment. He might do something bad, and you will say : “Why you said you love me, when your acts say an opposite?”

When i talked with my husband about expression of feelings, he said that he was afraid to say me that he loves me at the start of our relation. It would be too easy, too fast and he would rush. Then i would not believe him. He said this after some time, but then i was sure that i can believe him. Before these meaningful words, he did a lot things for me. He introduced me to his parents, to his friends, we did not made love yet, and i had kind of guarantee that relation is real love. Especially, it was different from my other relations, where guys rushed with this words, just to drag me into bed. 

You might think that you will easy recognize player after some bad experiences, but you are wrong. Manipulators use “i love you” on many different ways. Guy will do everything to persuade you that he is the one, just to make love with you. If you are lonely, broken from previous relations, if you have lack of self esteem, you will trust him. Manipulators use this words as candies for kids, and you might fall in this sweet trap. This is paradox , because girls will complain about guys who did not show them feelings openly, but in the same time they will jump in trap called “i love you. “

Let’s say you are playing cards. In the beginning of game, you spend all your strong cards, aces are on the table, and your opponent did not started yet. Now, suddenly you are out of game. Similar situation is with “i love you.” These words escaped from your mouth after one night with your boyfriend. 

How you will know that you should not say ” i love you”?

He did not call you next day.

He delayed meeting with you, he is suddenly busy.

He started with sentences as ” i am not sure”, “we will talk about this later. “

He wants to go out with his guys for weekend. 

He wish to be free, don’t take it personally, but he thinks he needs some space.

Besides all, if woman says “i love you” , this is the same as she would propose guy. She took first step, which is not well. It is different when guy says ” i love you”, but also, as i said, after he did actions which will prove his intentions. That is like you wish to make cake. Cream will come at the end, isn’t it? Otherwise, that will be only cream, but without firm cookie dough. Cream will melt, and you will stay with empty hands and hungry.

lesson · psychology · relations · responsibility · society

Compassion against dignity

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Life brings us every kind of problems, but it is easier to deal with it when we are healthy. In the case when person became an invalid, things are getting harder. 

Everything we do until now change. 

Things have different meaning, different shape and world is harder place. But what is really necessary to do when person got sick, in the case on invalidity or any trouble which makes life harder?

The worst thing we can do is sorrow, to treat that person as little child.

Here are examples how that people wanted to save dignity at the first place. They wanted to be treated as others.

1. Peter uses wheelchair. He is passionable gambler, and he spent almost every day in casino. First other players looked at him with mercy, but then they accepted him as one of them. He uses his wheelchair alone, he doesn’t allow any help and even he have big luck in slot machines. This passion means to him much more than tears, crying or prayers. Here, in casino Peter feels that he is still alive.

2. Joan had cancer in uterus, first degree. Her family gathered around her and she saw all relatives , some people she did not see for a years. They talked about death, sickness, they gave her advices and support, they talked about other examples and tragedies. Joan wanted to send them all to hell. When her daughter came at weekend from another city, Joan asked her about ironing. Joan was ironing her underwear and she was so happy that she can be still useful. Joan is still alive thanks to surgery and x-rays. Her family members treat her now like nothing happened. They learnt lesson.

3. Steve is blind, he has stick and he is working 4 hours on telephone , for one company. When he finish with work, he must cross the street. There is big traffic and lot of fast cars. But Steve doesn’t allow anybody to help him. He learnt to live in the dark and he is crossing road alone. Only in free time he has dog, and he will accept only help from his dog.

4. It was important football match, on the square was big ecran and everyone wanted to see that. Thomas was in wheelchair. Young couple bought a beer for  him. Thomas said thanks to young couple, they were really nice. For half hour , Thomas used his wheelchair to move into crowd, he caught waitress and asked her to bring more beer to his friends. They accepted and make a toast for Thomas and for football team. Thomas felt like he is young again.

When life brings us troubles, we can’t allow defeat. The worst thing we can do is to burry our closest family members or friend, before they die. We must give them reason to live, and that reason is not sorrow, we can’t treat them like they are less worthy. Depression is silent killer, and if you treat someone as helpless creature, that person will fall down. He/she will be angry and sad, because of your treatment.

Show them that sun is still shining. Maybe in different way than before, but life must go on.

relations

Hungry like a wolf

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Conscience – the biggest invisible executer which person could have. It prevents us to do something wrong and punish us if we do it. If you have even little amount of emotions, you will cry after you did something wrong to someone who did not deserve it. Or, you will not sleep well at night. If you are cheater, and you never admit it to your partner, you will walk around with bags under your eyes and burden on your back.

Media wrote about romantic story about guy who was travelling 30 hours by plane to visit her girl at vacation. She called him that he miss her, so he decided to surprise her. Even it sound very touchful, remember that thing should have good financial background. You need money to pay the flight , free days if you are working and something to eat until you get on your destination. Another thing, is girl really called him because he missed her? Maybe she had opportunity to cheat and did not do it. Maybe that was call for help. Or maybe she did it and she want to wipe her sins. This year Big Brother in Croatia had interesting situation. Marina, one of girls, cheated her regular boyfriend with one of the competitors. She cried and kissed his picture, but at the end she walked out with rival who caught her heart. This was cry of conscience.

It brings me to next question. Do we cry for others or for ourselves when we do something wrong, as cheating is?

Guy X is married father with two children. He had virtual romance with beautiful woman. He said : “I don’t want to hurt her. ” He said he did not want to hurt mistress, not his wife. That is because he knows that he will never leave wife and mistress will got hurt. Wife is a victim but she will never know. Mistress knows what will happen so she is bigger victim. Until wife got knife in back, mistress got bullet in heart.

If you are attractive, interesting person, you will be surrounded by bunch of interesting people too. Many chances for thief, isn’t it? Sometimes we can feed our ego with talking, innocent hug and trading meaningful blinks and hints, and that will be enough. Wolf is eating, sheep is alive. Well, sometimes person is so hungry that she will eat sheep and turn into bloody wolf.

Smart person will change her strategy as professional football coach. Today i said i love you, but tomorrow i can’t effort this so i will say i like you and i respect you, but i want to be on distance with you. If you felt desire and yet you did not do it, stop on time. If you already did it, be quiet and pretend that nothing happened.

You will be surprised how your best people can judge you because you drink coffee with someone you should not, or you just gave compliment to wrong person. And if you step out from safe zone, even worse. They will say they would never do this. In fact they did not dare or made control due another things. Sometimes, love is not the reason why you did not cheat. It is reputation, safety, financial security and fear from loneliness. That is what people are ashamed about, that they did not step into forbidden zone because of wrong reasons.

Did you ever thought something like this: “Well i don’t feel passionable rays, but i don’t want someone other on my place so i will not move on. ” That is something we ashamed about when we think about other person. Real love is full of some poisoned ingredients, especially if you cherish this by years. That you will sometimes get bored, or you would like to taste something else, and when you feel this will disappear, suddenly you change your direction. That is why men says : “I love my wife”, when sexy mistress ask to leave her. At least, who would better understand their farting and dirty socks than wife who shares bed with them and clean after them ?

 

behavior · career · character · communication · egoism · psychology · relations

Let me sin one more time

Repeating is mother of knowledge. I can say this with dose of irony, more you repeat the same mistake, you will learn more and title of master is yours. The problem is, time is running and if you stay in one place, frozen in the same situations without exit, your chances to find final solution are smaller.

In which life areas we repeat fatal mistakes, even we know that it will not work out? 

Look at your job. You know it is not good to get late at work, but you will did it again, because you don’t like your job, you don’t want to get up earlier to come on time or you don’t want to move more near to your workplace. Also, you don’t stick to deadlines because you lost motivation. You will be maybe fired, but who cares?

Private area is even worse. How much time you involved with the same man, and he disappointed you again? You don’t wish to be alone or you don’t want changes. Also, maybe you change guys, but all are from the same box. Young, wild, immature, and bad material for wedding.

What about friendship? You forgive to your friends once, twice, third time, but they still make your life miserable, they make fool of you and you swallow bitter meal.

Lisa involved with Adrian four times. All her friends laughed to her, but she had limitless patience. When he screwed things again, she was ready to forgive for a fifth time. Then she opened their Skype conversation, scrolled down all messages, and read again and again. She was in the same movie. That messages were mirror of whole relation. “You are good girl, but i need changes from time to time. I don’t want to hurt you, but it happens. ” She cried and made final decision. She knew one thing, forgiveness is not cure this time. She needs to move on. 

What is the point? 

We learn from our mistakes when we can’t repeat them anymore. Reasons are various. We have no more time or it will hurt us too much. Our nerves can’t handle more pains. If we grab things always from the same box, content is very familiar. There is nothing new to find out. So, when someone asks you for one more chance, think about how much credit you gave already. Maybe that person has no right for bonus anymore.

egoism · erotica · flirt · illusion · passion · playboy · relations

Crucifix for mistress

 

These days is popular new viral hit : two fat married women beat mistress in bikini because she has stolen their husbands. Nobody involved in that street fight, poor mistress was half naked and two Godzilla women made revenge. 

Really, what would you think at first, if you were cheated? To kill the bitch, slap her, make her ashamed? That is first instinct which that two women made real . Well, if they expected that people will clap hands, they are wrong. Only minority will approve this savage act, and mostly will ask : what is with husbands, will they get kick in their asses? After all, husband started this. In such situations, woman’s logic fails , they will not blame husbands because “he is seduced”, “he was drunk”, “we had conflict and i did not want to sleep with him”, “he wanted to make me jealous. ” This bunch of excuses will pass over their mind, without question what is wrong with them and their marriage.

I will not say that it can happen to anybody. Human species in not identified with angels. We are indeed not monogamous. Well, there is difference between humans and animals : control over your desires and moral standards. Obligations, loyalty and conscience. After all, you can go if you don’t feel good in marriage. If street cat likes few cats, he will jump on them. If i like another men, i will look at them and walk away because i am already taken. There is difference between short sparks and eternal flame.

Now here is another part, why some women have problem with unfaithful husband?

I will say few reasons, mostly in common:

Woman gets fat in marriage.

Without chauvinism, i am realistic when i say that getting fat is not sexy. Don’t blame him if he starts to stare around.

Couples are constantly arguing.

Small conflicts, from time to time are stimulative. Big conflicts without ending are not recommended. We are tired from work, and imagine when you are coming home and instead of dinner there is topic about your failed personality. 

Couples have no topic to talk about.

When you are both silent, troubles are on the way. 

Couples are too busy to work on marriage.

Always is another thing more important. Your kids, your job, your washing machine. What about him?

Now, i start to look on these two women with pity. What if they tried to fight back , in a way to find lover? Very hard. First, they need to lose at weight. Then, they need to calm down otherwise all men will runaway from them. Also, they must look inside into their marriage. Really, do you want to cook to unfaithful husband, you want to wash and iron his laundry after he had sex with another woman? You want to sleep with him after another woman touched him?

It is very easy to be mistress. Once i was dating with engaged man. We dated three times. He said that he will introduce me as his boss at work. After his mother saw me , she asked him “Where is your fiance?” This made me thinking, i don’t want to be in this relation. They already redecorated flat, but he got bored with bills, furniture and now he needs to feel young again. I gave up because i felt sorry for this fiance. 

Now, when i am thinking as wife, it is not easy to be wife. You are completely in this . This is not only your fantastic skills in bed, your makeup and clothes, your smile. This is bunch of dirty plates, socks, bills, family, and other things. This is responsibility. What happens wrong , some women get lost in responsibilities and forget to date with their husbands. Imagine that guy who falls in love in young, slim woman, and 20 years after he saw big Godzilla who threats him with dirty fork because he did not clean the table?

I recommend women to be wiser than mistress. Don’t spend all your money on furniture, it is not important what kind of color and shape is your kitchen. Spend part of money on your physical look, remind your partner that you are still desirable and don’t eat whole hamburger in front of him. Talk with another men. Add them on your social network. Your husband must feel that you are still unavailable for him, in some sense.

Forget paddle and fight. Even if you break slut’s legs, she will still be there and wait your partner if he gets mad. You will just give her additional points, to feel as lame victim with broken bones. Also you might get to court and pay money penalty or serve into jail, because your acts were faster than your mind.

anxiety · bohemians · crises · depression · destiny · dreams · happiness · illusion · psychology · relations

Granny with cookies

A long time ago  my friend  Y asked me : “How do you manage this? How you raise after fall? I want to die. I would kill myself if i could. My life sucks and it will be only worse. ” If you had role of happiness, would you knock at her door? Frankly, i would not, because i think she would said to me to get lost. That is the point of pessimistic people, they don’t know to recognize new chance, and even more, they will escape from realization of possible opportunities. 

It sounds painful, but some people enjoy in their miseries. On this way they justify their acts or just a fact that they do nothing at all. You know old story about granny and cookies? Shortly, person sit in the dark, wipe tears and wait for saint savior to help her. Miracle is the only option for such victim. Well, surprise, that granny with cookies, saint savior, come to those who are already happy, because her cookies are bonus desert, not main meal. 

Friend Y came with me in night club to find guy. She said to me: “Can you try this for me, you have more luck. ” My rolling eyes and facial expression said all, but i replied : ” For start, cheer up. It doesn’t have to be immediately this night. ” So we were there and i had fun with commenting guys who were passing by. Prince charming did not come, she did not have nerves to talk with anyone. Today, many years after, she is still alone. Meanwhile, we are not talking too, because she decided that my optimism is big enemy for her depression. The truth was, she was always chasing guys who were already taken. It was her curse.

How you treat opportunities?

There are some correct ways how to accept challenge and win.

Don’t underestimate your odds.

Don’t expect too much. Start from small victories.

Don’t give up when you are already on half way.

Don’t be discouraged by failed past. Live in present moment.

What i learnt about life is good timing. Sometimes, life will offer you something, and you must decide quick. Are you in or out? Grab this chance, because maybe another time doesn’t exist. Many times when i succeed, i might say i was there “on time. ” Maybe it was minute before midnight, but i was there. 

It is better to grab the last chance, than to chase opportunities which are only delusional. The key of success is also to know your abilities. No, i will not dance in reality show, i will not compete with world record in swimming or running. I know where is my area. That is definition of aim, not to lose time on wrong things. Don’t pick fruit from wrong basket. 

This feeling when you use your chance is similar to lottery won. Yes i did it. I am happy now, because i was smart before. I did it on time.

career · control · crises · dreams · freedom · life · psychology · relations

It is not my business?

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Your decisions are results of choices. If anyone asked you, is it right to stand on your way, you would say no. Nobody has right to make influence on your choices, or to involve in something personaly. Is that really true?

Imagine that your family member or friend has big issues in relation. For example, your sister has husband who beats her, and she doesn’t want to leave him. Will you talk with her or him? Or, maybe your friend run for man who make idiot from her? Your heart is breaking, because you can’t help them. Your conscience cannot be quiet until you do something, no matter about result.

When i was teenager, my mother give me advice about guy who called me in the middle of the night. I was angry on her, i said that she can’t separate me from man i like. It was indeed manipulative bastard. He would call me and talk about possible suicide if i will not meet with him. After our adventure, i realize that my mother has right. I saw man who was fragile, who needed me to save him. My mother saw an opportunist, who was ready to fall very low, just to drag me into his bed. Many years later, i admitted that she had right. 

What gives us right to involve in other choices, to judge them or to push person in right direction?

Experience. 

You passed through pain with some guy and your friend involved with him. You can’t be silent about this, so it is your duty to tell her true.

Feeling of loyality.

When you care for person, you wish the best for her. If you see that person is on wrong path, you will warn her.

Conscience.

You are aware that person can push you out from her life. But you will not sleep well, until you say what you think about this.

Protection.

When we love someone, he is our ward. We wish to protect this person, to make safe wall from hurting. That is why, we wish to fight with wrong choices.

Alen Halilović is young football star, he plays for junior team of Barcelona. His parents invested much money in him, his father was also footballer and Alen is playing for croatian national team. For sure, he is young hope of football, even he is only 18 year old. Recently he involved with pop singer Lana Jurčević  and spent big money on her. She is 30 year old and young men are her favourite fun. Alen had statement, that he will not play football anymore, just to find more time for her. Even many would say ” do everything for love”, in this case voice of sanity is much louder. How this story will end, it is not familiar, but to sacrifice good future for the sake of adventure is not smart choice. Also, young people live day by day, and for few years Alen will think different. 

For sure, we are not dolls on the rope, and others can’t define our paths. There is difference between good advice and order. We must learn to decide by independent mind, but for that we will need maturity and experience. How we learnt to swim? Someone push us into the water, and we did not get out from there until we learnt. But, we had role models, from which we learnt. This role models are our parents, teachers, friends, relatives. 

If you claim that you never involved into other choices, that is not true. If you saw guy who flirt with your daughter and later fool her with another girls, you will say what you think. If your friend spent a lot of money on gambling or bad investment into stocks, you will also say your opinion.

There is a catch, when you involve in other choices, be wise.

Say what you think on calm way. 

Don’t say : “I order you to leave him. ” Or “I forbidde you to do this.”

Say : “I think it is not smart idea to stay with him. Think about your future. “

Make a joke, or remaind person on your bad choices.

“I was such a fool in this time. Guy left me because of my best friend, and his behaviour was similar as your boyfriend. I smell something is wrong. “

Remaind person on your role in her life.

“I am your sister, friend, mother..i wish you well in your life. “

Accept the fact that your advice will be rejected maybe.

“Do what you wish, i just told you what i think.”

Choices are holy ground. If you spit on that ground, you could be kicked out. If you ask ticket to change seed on that ground, other side might listen you. In the case that your friend accepts your advice, don’t be cocky. Don’t say : “I told you. ” Say that you will always be on her side, because loyality is much better than preaching. Say thanks because you got permission to involve. After all, next time you might have bad choice. Then you will need intervention.