In the moment when you feel something special for special person, your heart will poke you to say “i love you. ” These words are on the top of emotional list, and there is a need to say this. You can’t imagine day without him, he makes you happy, so why not to say “i love you”? Now, i ask you, when to say i love you, is it necessary to make deadline for these words, or you might just jump with this, because spontaneous factor is way of loving someone?
Imagine young couple in relation. This kids are not mature, so words “i love you” might terrify them. Young boy feels obligation after his girlfriend said to him this meaningful words, and girl feels fear, that he will abandon her, after she puts her last cards on the desk. After you say “i love you” you are busted. Now, your partner got your trust, love and devotion in his hands. So, this is double sword. If partner loves you, he will care not to hurt your feelings. That is commitment. He might do something bad, and you will say : “Why you said you love me, when your acts say an opposite?”
When i talked with my husband about expression of feelings, he said that he was afraid to say me that he loves me at the start of our relation. It would be too easy, too fast and he would rush. Then i would not believe him. He said this after some time, but then i was sure that i can believe him. Before these meaningful words, he did a lot things for me. He introduced me to his parents, to his friends, we did not made love yet, and i had kind of guarantee that relation is real love. Especially, it was different from my other relations, where guys rushed with this words, just to drag me into bed.
You might think that you will easy recognize player after some bad experiences, but you are wrong. Manipulators use “i love you” on many different ways. Guy will do everything to persuade you that he is the one, just to make love with you. If you are lonely, broken from previous relations, if you have lack of self esteem, you will trust him. Manipulators use this words as candies for kids, and you might fall in this sweet trap. This is paradox , because girls will complain about guys who did not show them feelings openly, but in the same time they will jump in trap called “i love you. “
Let’s say you are playing cards. In the beginning of game, you spend all your strong cards, aces are on the table, and your opponent did not started yet. Now, suddenly you are out of game. Similar situation is with “i love you.” These words escaped from your mouth after one night with your boyfriend.
How you will know that you should not say ” i love you”?
He did not call you next day.
He delayed meeting with you, he is suddenly busy.
He started with sentences as ” i am not sure”, “we will talk about this later. “
He wants to go out with his guys for weekend.
He wish to be free, don’t take it personally, but he thinks he needs some space.
Besides all, if woman says “i love you” , this is the same as she would propose guy. She took first step, which is not well. It is different when guy says ” i love you”, but also, as i said, after he did actions which will prove his intentions. That is like you wish to make cake. Cream will come at the end, isn’t it? Otherwise, that will be only cream, but without firm cookie dough. Cream will melt, and you will stay with empty hands and hungry.