business · destiny · discrimination · drama · internet · psychology · relations · society

Story about fake hero and lion

Lion is for me symbol of power, danger and beauty. When american dentist Walter Palmer killed famous lion Cecil, i felt sadness. This 13 year old animal was dying 40 hours, and illegal hunter, ex sexual abuser , so called dentist Palmer made photo with his trophy, to brag about masculinity. It was toast to his fragile, insecure ego and confirm that he is a man.

This story made me thinking about some primitive men these days, who still live in stone age, and think that real evidence of masculinity is killing, beating women and having sex with any girl who pass in their life. There is a confusion between truth about real man and vision of macho type, who exist only in cartoon or action movies. 

In high school, male circle could be very cruel. They will ask proof of masculinity and if boy doesn’t accept this, everyone will laugh to him. The price is, damage yourself, damage girl you love if you need, but be a man. 

I remember guy from my high school who said : “I will drink and smoke on the prom because everyone do this. Also i need to fuck something. Or they will gossip me, that i am a pussy. “

In this case, conformism is condition to develop real man, and real answer should be this: 

“I will drink if i wish to taste alcohol , i will smoke if i feel pleasure from this, and i will make love with girl i really like, because it makes me sick to fuck someone when i can’t feel nothing. “

Does Walter fall under influence of society of he is just born as natural jerk? He already killed bear and pose with his corpse, then he did sexual harassment to prove his man power, so poor Cecil was his chance to show the world : i am the man. I wonder how he reacted when he got thousand threats from people for his life, did he said to haters that they can come and get him? Certainly i doubt. When someone kills lion who is national property in national park, protected as treasure, that is not a victory. That is coward act and illegal. Like in high school, when guys beat poor girl who can’t defend herself alone. If Walter could save tiger from the trap, if he could risk his life to save someone by donating his kidney, that would be act of real man and hero. 

What makes difference between real man and macho jerk?

Real man:

Never talk bad about ex girlfriends and other girls. If he doesn’t like them, he will be silent.

Never beat woman . If he is in conflict, he will walk away from her.

Never use girl as toy. He will say no if he is a gentleman.

Never cheat his woman even if sexy girl offers sex to him. 

He knows fight skills, but he doesn’t abuse this.

He will save life of cat, dog or other animal.

Macho jerk:

He cheats his women with other women.

He slap his woman if she annoys him or even for less.

He use every opportunity to have sex with every women.

He provoke fights everywhere, because he enjoys in manifestations of ego.

He kills innocent animals as trophies. 

Walter is maybe surprised because people hate him, but it was obvious after all. Some will say, that was just lion, that was just animal, but person who can kill animal in such cruel way is not far away from real murderer. Next time it could be person who would say something against him. After all, he would do everything to be a hero. 

destiny · drama · dreams · ego · erotica · lovers · psychology · relations

Destroy my illusion

If you wish to break someone’s heart, break his illusion. Reality is often cruel and when person lives in the cloud, fall on the ground is very painful. Special sensitive area is love, if you persuade people about their misleads, they will hate you at first sight, but later they will be grateful. Daughters will hate their mothers because they forbid them to date with wrong guys, or they said the truth into their faces. Teenagers will often talk how they hate parents , but later they will do the same to their children, just to lead him on right life path.

Illusions are bubbles, they don’t last forever, and they will pass with time or something will broke them, after suddenly and unexpected action, with shock effect. What you feel inside when you lost your dream? You will hate person who told you the truth, because you feel offended. Your ego was so stupid and did not see the obvious thing.

Penelope had 19 when she fall in love hard in his professor at college. He was married, with one daughter, and very sexy. They were dating secretly and Penelope did not complain, because he promised her to get divorce. One year passed, they were still on the same, but Penelope loved him and waited her moment. Her friend Stella could not watch this anymore, so she decided to invite her in restaurant where professor usually had lunch with his family, at weekend. Girls went there for a drink, right on time when he was in the middle of lunch. Atmosphere was very cheerful because his daughter celebrated birthday. They made toast to her, she was 13 years old. His wife was very elegant, with expensive shoes and purse, she reminded on younger version Meryl Streep. Penelope looked at his lover, but he pretend he did not notice her. Stella went to their table to take bottle with salt and asked professor : “How are you, Mr Smith? I am here with your best student Penelope.” He just smiled and did not say nothing. For few days he called Penelope to said her : “You put me in wrong situation dear girl, i had a lot problems to explain my wife who are you. ” 

Penelope was crying and they broke up. She blamed Stella that she ruined her relation and they did not talk one period of time. In her eyes, Stella was envious friend who destroyed her love. Later, when Penelope collected herself, when she woke up, she called Stella to beg her for apology. Lucky, Stella was soft heart so she accepted Penelope back.

Situations which open our eyes are not pleasant. 

It is not nice to hear from your boss that you are not doing your job well. It is hard to swallow true words, for example statement that you are overweight, not so young or joke about your bad hair day, in the moment when you think different about yourself. 

Ego creates illusions, because we are convinced that we know our best. 

The same ego will lead us into big troubles in unknown areas, when we don’t know nothing about person or we don’t have enough experience. This is your journey, you are going somewhere without taking info where is this place, and when you get disappointed everybody will be culprits, just not you.

Life in dreams is bed of roses. You are fascinated with smell of roses, but they have deadline. After this deadline they fade, and later this bed will stink, if you don’t throw away faded flower.

business · communication · couples · cyber space · drama · dreams · psychology · relations · society · vacation

Vacation with selfie


Do you remember summer holidays before cell phones and internet? Somewhere in the sea, while sunny rays shine, you are writing postcard to your friends and parents, to notify them how you have fun. Or you call them to talk about warm sea and how you get tanned, how many sexy guys are here and how many women in topless you noticed. After this you will close your eyes and drink your cocktail, trying to relax and forget obligations. I remember i was happy every summer because it was my chance to see something new, and to take a break from exams. Later, my batteries were filled and i was new person.

This year i was on vacation on Island of Pag, famous Zrce beach with many parties. This place was familiar as Sodoma and Gomora, and even it was my seventh time to travel there, every time people were wondering about rumors, is that really true. Sex in forests, man who stabbed other with knife and stole his cell phone, dead man found on the beach were just few of many news from this place. The main story was not in reality, it was behind the scene. In the middle of beach parties and crystal blue sea, technology takes over like in movie Terminator. 

People were staring on their cell phones more than in mirrors. Girls take photo with waterproof camera even in the sea. Every coffee bar has wi-fi connection and after you drink coffee you can be logged on internet if you wish this. When i was walking on the scales i almost push young girl who were busy with her laptop. 

Sun, sea, and sexy people around, but all are staring in their gadgets? The main tragedy was next.

I can’t connect on internet. “

“My battery is low. “

“He blocked me from Facebook, what can i do?”

“This bitch sent to me provoking message in inbox, i wish to kill her. “

While i was in night club Papaya , in VIP seats, four gorgeous girls were sitting in fashionable clothes, not interested what is happened around them. Guys tried to approach them without success, and they were typing on their cell phones, focused only on this like it will be end of the world.

Ok, i admit that i connected myself also to check my profile and greet my friends, but when my partner warned me that i am not listening him, i put my mobile phone  in purse. Yes, he has right, if i will typing messages, how can i listen to him? And what is so important on internet, that it can’t wait?

How people can ruin their vacation, how they might miss something beautiful and regret later?

Are you one of those people?

You are checking your official email every hour.

You are going everywhere with your selfie stick.

You spent money on credits at phone, and now you can’t buy yourself a drink.

Your camera is open and you have thousand photos in your folders.

When someone ask you who was there, you must check your photos.

You call your boss to check is everything all right at work.

You allow your client to call you while you are on the beach. 

You check your Facebook or Twitter even in the middle of the night. 

Between all this options, you are forced to choose what is more important to you. Peace and vacation, or to be in the virtual game even when you are far away from home? I understand your doubts and fears, that someone will delete you if you are not online or that you will miss latest gossips. Well, real friends will be satisfied with one note that you are ok and that you enjoy in wild parties. Later, when you came back you can share all photos and news. 

The best photo is indeed spontaneous. When you don’t care about your mascara and lipstick, when your dress is ruined with salt and foam is on your face, when your beer is warm because you can’t drink anymore, and smile on your face talks everything. 

I saw two girls in the sea who entered with perfect makeup and all technology, to act like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch. Then, one girl blamed others to look fat on photo because photo was not taken from real angle. 

Later, while i was travelling home, i was tired and happy. I was exhausted from swimming and dancing, i took few photos from ferry and give promise to this place to travel again next time. Somewhere near me, girl took phone and said:

“I will make new Facebook and i will not add him anymore. No , he is a jerk. “

I was happy because this disease did not hit me too much. Internet is good servant, but really bad master. 

couples · freedom · psychology · relations · responsibility · society · women

Woman in offside


It is hard to be woman these days. If you support men, feminists could label you as supporter of slavery. If you support equality between genders in every area of life, men will draw you mustaches. Additional problem is in your attitude toward football, somehow there are lot of traps you should avoid if you don’t wish to be judged.

Saponia, Croatian industry of chemicals made promotional spot inspired by EURO 2016, about woman who wash man’s shirt until he is having fun as football supporter, with his friends. Message was “behind every supporter is his woman. ” So, on first sight, funny way to say men that they are powerless without women, because they could not wash their shirt alone. This raise big dust between feminists, who felt discriminated and humiliated, because promotional spot made woman as servant, accord their opinion. At the end, Saponia marketing experts  apologize and made withdraw , so publicity has no pleasure anymore to see this funny video. 

Football is great opportunity for marketing so i don’t see nothing bad in this advertising. Do i feel as humiliated maid when i wash my husband’s shirt? Yes, we will go in football corner to see match against Czech Republic, and i will wash mine and his shirt. If this makes me slave, than my partner is slave too, because he made popcorn every time when we watched match. Is this sense of one marriage or relation, that we measure every act we do for each other? 

Somehow, it became popular to treat husbands as less worthy in some situations. When i said at work that i wish to spent vacation with my husband and this is reason i harmonize my schedule, boss looked at me as i am an alien. “Well, you will watch him all your life. So you need vacation with him, too? ” What is appropriate then, to spend vacation with friends? I am sorry, i am not so trendy so i don’t have single friends who wish to go in the sea with me and even if i had i would not be interested. There is no pleasure for me that i lay half naked in the beach until some jerk is staring at me and my female friends try to set me up date with sexy stranger. I enjoy in mutual vacation with my partner . 

I will not act like dominatrix and say that i don’t want wash and iron our clothes. In my world we don’t compare who did this and that, frankly, i don’t remember how many times he made lunch and how many times i made. I also wish to say that i am employed , educated and i know very well my rights, but i am not in war with my partner , because our marriage is not battlefield. 

Those who mind for this promotional spot must think about themselves. You are woman and you hate football, so this is your way to say “turn of television. ” 12% women , accord one poll watch football matches with their partners. I read one article about women who cheat partners because they don’t pay attention on them during Championship. Dear ladies, is that a way to pull attention on yourself because he watch Cristiano Ronaldo instead to whisper in your ear? 

Women will say : “What is so interesting in game where man run for ball 90 minutes?” I am asking you, what is so interesting in Mexican soap operas with predictable scenario, something like this : “Pedro and Juan fall in love in the same girl Rosa, and Rosa must choose between two of them, so what will happen next? Will Juan kill his brother Pedro to get love of beautiful Rosa?” In this moment your lunch is burning and your husband stays hungry. So, is that smaller damage than dirty and sweaty football shirt? Your partner maybe spill beer in living room during football match, but you can throw your lunch into garbage because of two Mexican brothers. We all have our small weaknesses. 

Until i wait next match with my bet ticket , shirt is drying on the wind and i don’t feel less woman because of this. Lucky me because i don’t need any progressive female group to remind me on my rights. And what would be if man would wash his shirt in this promotional spot? Men would complain, or maybe not ? Saponia should respond on this critics with another video, this time with man who is making popcorn in kitchen until his wife is watching Luka Modric in the action. We women are so sensitive that we need approval that our battle was not without reason. 

If you are wise woman, you will not let everyone to push you in this offside. This so called battle is indeed trick . You are equal as much as you show. If you need to blackmail your partner with washing laundry , your relation is seriously damaged already. 

anxiety · cyber space · destiny · drama · erotica · fantasy · lies · lovers · relations

Keep your mouth closed


Your lips are sealed and you hide something dangerous. Your secret is your prisoner because just right now you found out something harmful for person you love. 

How to deal with secrets ? 


Everyone could remember old days at school. Little boy got bad mark and now he has problem. How to bring bad news to his parents? Even he is quiet, something is bothering him and parents will find the way to dig what is this. Why this kid closed his mouth, where is his smile and why his eyes are big from fear? Yes, secrets are bombs. Tic toc, time is ticking away and they can explode every moment. Then we will have victims and collateral damage.

Even law talks about secrets. Lawyer has obligation to keep as secret information what he heard from his client, priest will save secrets which are discovered during his confessions. Military secrets are dangerous for security of the state if they will be published. Also here is penalty, for discovering every information considered as important secret.

What happens when we found out something confident ? Here is conflict between sense of duty and sense of loyalty.

Isabel and Veronica were two best friends from childhood, inseparable girls, they were tied as twins. Isabel had boyfriend and she shared all details from her relation with Veronica. One day Veronica got visit, her cousin Tara comes into their city. Tara was young and sexy girl, and unfortunately she fall in love in Steven, boyfriend of Isabel. Steven was not cold toward her and soon he started to cheat Isabel with Tara. Veronica knew this from a start, but she was crucified inside. How to tell Isabel that her guy is a jerk and cheater? Also, she did not want to hurt Tara, because Tara told her to keep this secret and to cover them as couple. After one month Isabel found out the truth, from third source. She was furious and she said to Veronica that she feels tremendous pain. Causer of this pain was not Steven, it was Veronica and her betrayal. She was villain in this story. Veronica could not look into eyes of her best friend. She knew she had right and she lost her friend forever. Isabel said that she could not trust her never again, and that she walks with knife in her back.

It is hard decision. You are witness of something what is indeed not your business. 

Your friend’s husband is cheating her. Your neighbor is beating his wife. Your cousin is hiding bottles of vodka in his room, his mother doesn’t know for this. You are messenger, but messenger could be killed. If you don’t say what you know, you are traitor. If you open mouth, you are snitch. 

Think about this very carefully.  Imagine yourself on this place. How much important is that unpleasant truth? He would like to hear this from you? She would like that she never knew? This moment happens only once. When you press tic toc button, there is no way back.

If you decide to talk, choose harmless way. When doctors said to their patients about cancer, they will usually say this with nice words, more symbolic, more covered with envelope of optimism. Yes, you are sick, but there are many ways to handle this. Live day by day, go step by step. Don’t give up.

I had friend who liked to talk about gossips, to notify me what some people think about me. She had habit to pass me info, without thinking what will be mine reaction. I had feeling that she enjoy to tell me bad news about me. She was not tactical person. What was on her mind, next was in her mouth. Soon i was avoiding her because gossips were only what she had to say when we met.  I did not hate those people, because they were not important to me. But, i start to dislike her, because she did not think about consequences of her behavior. 


Secret is wild animal locked in the cage. 

When you open this cage, animal will runaway , you don’t know how far. Some people can be ruined, also you can be involved in this story even you did not wanted this.

Every situation is different. Take care of your secret, because once when secret slip away, you are cooperator in this unpleasant story.

behavior · prejudices · psychology · relations · society · swingers

Swinging in Rovinj


Rovinj is sweet small city in Adriatic sea in Croatia. I was there before 5 years when famous DJ Carl Cox had  music advent. It happened in Monvi center, place with night clubs near the beach and surrounded by forest.

Rovinj was famous also as swingers destination. Swinger couples had own night club for their gathering and also they were tourists at wild beaches, as naturists.

It was nothing unusual to see naked man or woman somewhere in the shadow, and usually that people don’t disturb to nobody.

This year someone decided that nudity and swingers are shame of tourism in Rovinj . So they hired policemen and security to watch out about ethic and public order. 

Indeed, only rare swingers survived, because even ships with possible swingers were stopped and it was forbidden to enter into Rovinj.

Yes, there were some cases of breaking the law, but in generally swingers did not do nothing bad as raping or some criminal acts.


The question is, what is disturbing people? 

What’s insulting feelings, some naked bodies or couples without limits in love?

Usually, that kind of people are in groups and they know each other and they will not disturb to nobody else.

If you compare this with beggars on the street, there also should be some penalties and it would be more reasons for bodyguard or police actions.

For example, you can’t cross over street in Zagreb peacefully. Beggars will ask you for money, some will drag you for arms, some will even spit on you if you have no luck. If you want to drink coffee in some coffee bar , you will be disturbed by people who are so called blind or numb or deaf (they just have paper in hand and little toy), and they will also ask for a money. Or you will be blessed by those who are selling roses. No, you can’t eat pizza or drink beer or juice or coffee at peace, because you are irritated by them.


So, what is indeed public order and who can break public order? 

Naked woman or man will not ask you for a money, swingers are people who have money and they are rich tourists. 

Sometimes is hard to move limits if you are old fashioned. Money has no gender and sexuality. 

What is worse, beggars on the street or swingers on the beach? Public order is broken when someone makes mess. People should accept unusual forms of behavior if that is not threat to social communities. It is not easy in places with religious inheritance , where moral is very high and people are not used to this. That is why this city was not suitable place for swingers, at least temporary. 

anxiety · behavior · bohemians · depression · destiny · drama · dreams · ego · relations

Fake excuses and broken promises

So much talk, less deeds and actions – this is golden rule in every relation. People who make many promises cannot realize all, and instead of realization you will get excuses.

Arthur was never man of too much words. He said to his wife Lena “i love you too” and the rest was unnecessary for him. Lena wanted more romantic man, with candles and flowers, but Arthur was working man, and his love was firm and stable, but not like in fairy tales.

They separated because Lena wanted to live like in romance novels, with deep passion in heart, and to be wild and spontaneous. So her next husband Victor was real master of imagination. But unfortunately he was without job and all financial burden was on Lena’s wallet. He promised to find a job soon, but that soon was long term, it last for a years. And when Lena got angry, he said:

– Sorry, but i had no luck in searching job. All this is not good for me. I am not manual worker, i am not for office because i am allergic on dust and that annoying people are disturbing  to my nerves.

Lena had big regret because of Arthur, but it was no way back. Arthur get married to another woman who appreciated his stability and his deeds.

Promises are nice, but everyone can make good promises. How to realize it, this is another part of story. If you think too much, you will always stand on one place. There will be no progress, just pending time. As much you will delay, your aim will be more far away from you. 

So make promises when you can make good realization immediately. That will be fair to other people. Promises are worthy only if you once in past did something exactly how you imagined. When promises are filled, trust is here. 

First disappointments develop in childhood. 

Father has promised you to play basketball, but he never had enough time. You lost trust in him and promises are something painful for you. They are worse then lies, because lies are easily to discover. Life based on promises is just fairy tale without happy end. So, before this balloon explode in front of your nose, learn to lean on people who filled their promises before. Secret pledge, your blood is mine blood and we will always count on each other. That words are saint to those who know how to stick together. In that case, promise really means something.

freedom · friendship · infidelity · marriage · moral · psychology · relations · society

Fragile male-female friendship


Male-female friendships were always topic for discussion. Cool quote “we are just friends” is good excuse for celebrities when they got caught in walking with person from opposite gender, or while they are drinking coffee and they look very close.

When jealous wife nag to her husband that he is too kind with female office roommates, he will reply “we are just friends. “

If someone catch you in conversation with ex boyfriend, and you blush but you don’t want to tell about nature of your relation, you will say : “we are just friends. “

Well, what is this friendship indeed and where are boundaries?

Indeed is hard to be friend with person of opposite gender who is attractive and with whom we feel pleasant, spend much time together and imagine all kind of reasons just to stay in contact. If that person is in marriage or in relation, often hanging out will cause jealousy from her partner.

Martin and Vera were inseparable childhood buddies, they came home in dirty clothes when they were playing in the sand, together they got drunk first time and abandoned classroom. They have whole history. After college Vera got married for Dorian who could not handle Martin. He did not understand why she should go every week at coffee with old buddy, why she call him every time when she has problems and top of all was when she lend money from him, and she did not even ask her mother in law for favor. Then Dorian called Martin, it was harsh conversation and this friendship  chilled out.

Friendship could be excellent substitute for person who has bad luck in love or after breakup, so that is good to hang out with friend from opposite gender just to have shoulder for crying and to get objective advice. Well, what if that friendship is indeed hidden love , and if this is only intro in love, when relation breaks?

Friendships between genders are weird thing. If people are not hot to each other it could be perfect relation, we have objective friend and not busybody, and our real partner can chill out because we have someone for talk, not to annoy him 24 hours, and yet he has no reason for jealousy cause there is no intimacy.

Well, what if someone use friendship as an excuse to spread seductive spider net and wait for a moment that object of desire falls in love? Are we friends or more? If we start relation with friend and discover later it was not good solution, do we lose friend? Now we have only acquaintance because we did not use control and balance.

That is why this kind of relations are fragile, especially if we have partner already. We need to think how our partner will react with this kind of friendship or we must draw a line to make this friendship more formal and without feelings. It all depends how much flexible is our partner.

If we are single, think about before you turn friendship into relation just because we missed human touch. After sex with friend there is no return. If we spend night with friend and someone of us is not ready for more, we lose. We lose friend and potential partner.


When male-female friendship could work out?

If you are both in relation. You are happy private with others and your friendship is field of common interests.

If you don’t attract each other physically. So, he is dear but not your type.

If you were not in relation before. Ex lovers are bad friends, because accidental spark could make flame.

If you don’t feel jealousy cause your friend found girlfriend. Or an opposite. If you feel tensions that is sign that he is more than friend.


business · career · manners · money · moral · psychology · responsibility · rules

7 bad habits at workplace


When you hold key of your privacy, lock the door. In these modern times, when “Big Brother” and bunch of reality shows rape our privacy, real art is how to hide your intimacy from unwanted trespass. One of the most dangerous area is workplace. Have you ever experienced, that you bring your job into home, and your private life at work? Maybe you are not aware of this, but if your colleagues became your therapists and your boss your shrink, you are already there.

Job interview starts with question about your marital status, but employees will ask do you have kids, or are you planning family. This is already red area, and you are not obligated to talk about your future plans. Private firms will try to expand their views about you, if you are serious candidate. You are woman, and you might have plans about kids for one year? They wish to know, how much you will be present and focused at work. I understand them, but person is on the way to turn into robot. Official phones, laptops and tablets for work at home, boss obsessed with work, and you are in trap. Your privacy died without announcement.

I was witness what kind of things people do at office, during years. 

That habits should stay at home.

Woman is washing teeth in office sink, while others are waiting in line.

Woman is washing plate , she uses toilet as dish washer.

Man is eating smelly sausage for lunch, on the office desk.

Woman is on the phone. She talk loud with her gynecologist, about her daughter who is virgin.

Woman made little garden in the floor. This vegetables grow in the office.

Man put photo of his favorite politician leader, on the office wall. 

Woman hides bottle of vodka in wardrobe. 

Story about Ingrid was on the top in office circles. Her dog was very sick. He had surgery and his days were counted. Ingrid did not want to take free days, but she was walking around and crying. She could not talk with clients and about a month she was unusable. 

Bosses could be busybodies, but you can limit their access to your privacy.

When your phone is ringing, and they ask who is, it is your personal thing if you use private cellphone.

If you get fat and boss ask are you pregnant, that is not suitable question.

What you do out of your workplace is your business.

Your personality should be separated from your work . If boss dislikes you, and your results are good, boss should not discriminate you.

Other side of this story is situation when you bring work at home. Your poor partner for sure listen your problems, maybe you have such headache which prevents you to make love with him or to relax on any way. Some bosses abuse privacy and call you at your private number. If you are on vacation, this could be especially annoying. You are in the sea, and some jerk wants something urgent. My ex colleague had habit to hide phone under rock and to “lose” signal. 

Social networks are also burglars in privacy and booby trap for your professional life.

What is not recommended to write at social networks?

Name of your workplace.

Name of your boss.

Photos with your colleagues during party, especially if you get drunk.

Details about your business project. In some cases, you will sign statement about confidence, and if you break this, you will get fired.

Toxic atmosphere appears when you mix private and professional ingredients into one cake. When you cry at work and talk with your clients from home, something is mixed. Draw your line. Also, colleagues are not interested to hear how much times your husband farted and what your kid had for homework. If you want to forward your duties on others, because your kids are naughty at home and you can’t control them, nobody will like you.  While you are at work, don’t cook , wash or drink as you are at home. Some private firms have rules to forbid even water at office desk, and if you want to smoke you have chip card for click on automatic machine. Your minutes for smoking will count into your salary. 

Once when you lock your office door, the world is yours. Maybe some people have no life outside of workplace so they enjoy to share all details at work. For your privacy is better than people know less about you. At least, they will not have many details in possible conflicts. 

When Lydia notified colleagues about her wedding, everyone waited that day. At the end, her fiance abandoned her. It was disgrace for her, she could not keep mouth closed . She was victim of mocking and gossips for few months. All because she did not lock her secrets in safe box. 

behavior · character · egoism · envy · freedom · friendship · psychology · relations

Free as bird


When i think about freedom, i have vision of bird with huge wings. She flies without limits and sky is her space. Other birds will also fly and spread their wings without make damage to each other. This space is limitless and enjoyment is mutual.

If we talk about human freedom, way is different. People are not angels and certainly they are not birds. 

Only in fantasies people are treated on equal way. Real life includes selfishness, rudeness, competition and race, even running over the corpses. So in any way human freedom must have some boundaries and wars happened just because some group of people wanted to occupy freedom for themselves.

Think about next example. Early morning Patricia came into her office and start to smoke. Her colleagues are not smokers, but she never ask them for permission. Later she will open window, even outside is not always warm, wind is blowing, depends of season this air is not always welcomed. After this Patricia start to talk with her daughter on phone and during day she will accept many messages from her family members. She raise her voice and make noise. When her colleagues said to her to behave, she is offended.

I have my freedom. – that is her answer.

No, you are not alone here. This is not just your office. Think about others too.

Human freedom should be limited with others wishes. We are free as long we don’t hurt each other. What is good for you is not always good for others. Your enjoyment will be punishment for others. Can you make compromise, to enjoy and not to hurt others?

Clever people will always make a balance between their wishes and others needs. 

How we can enjoy in our freedom and not to hurt others in the same time?

Choose time and place for your enjoyment. You like to smoke, but there is space for this. Don’t spread your poison to others.

Ask others do they mind, before you take an actions. Maybe some will disagree, but at least your question shows respect.

Learn how to apologize. If you do something wrong, apologize for your bad behavior. Your freedom will not be damaged by an apology.

Make a deal. For example, your boyfriend will watch football match, and next time you will watch your favorite soap opera. Freedom of choice will be great on both sides, because you make compromise.

When you say that you are free to do what you wish, that is not exactly true.

There will be moments when your freedom will make lot of damage. You can’t listen music as you are in rock concert if you live in flat and others are sleeping. If you try to make your own rules, soon you will be alone against whole world. Your freedom will be target for other ‘s frustrations. It is not pleasant to be in war with everybody, and sooner or later you will back of. 

Wise person enjoy in own freedom after compromises with others. Sometimes, this is not possible. Human stubbornness is also one of obstacles for peace and harmony. You can’t push head against wall, but you can choose your ways. If somebody have so much freedom to make damage to your principles, you will stand up against this.

Some people are free just because other’s accepted to be their servants and slaves. Husband is cheating wife and she can’t leave from house without his permission. What you allow to yourself, you will also allow to others. Of course, this is not the same if you cheat or if you are cheated. You are happy with your adventures, but how do you feel when your partner also start to flirt around? It is not funny anymore.

Whatever you do, you are not alone and you depend of someone. Whatever works so long until nobody get hurt. If you try to expand your space for freedom with force, don’t expect others will approve your acts just like that. One day you will meet person with the same habits as yours. Even worse, you will fight for your free space. 

Look at this birds at the sky. You can’t fly on the same way. Sky is limitless, but ground is here and you will wake up with pains once when you fall down.