A story about a man without conscience


I was long time misguided about some male’s act. I was thinking that man who is nasty to another woman, could behave differently with me because I can act better than my competition. Or that I am better, with more qualities, so nasty hooligan will turn into prince charming thanks to me. This illusion was alive until the day I had bitter experience.

I was laughing to my acquaintances, three girls who were easily available for men. Everyone’s knew that threesome will change guys every month or weekend and that they have a bad reputation.

I, the as good girl had a perception about them. I thought they offer themselves to that man, they are constantly drunk or beg for attention. I wanted to be part of their circle as my social experiment. I wanted to feel so free with Diane, Sarah, and Jill. So they accepted me because I did a favor to them, I had info about Diane’s rival so they marked me as their spy. Soon I realized that they are not filthy girls. They were no stupid. One of them was studying medicine, other was employed and third was already a mother, a single mother. I was a student then. So, as their new girl I was introduced to a male part of this team, and so, they all became very interested in me.

That night Joe, one of the guys wanted to be alone with me. He was drinking, I was drinking. We were talking and joking, so Diane said to me that I am maybe his next girlfriend, because he is a familiar womanizer. I remember the moment when I and Joe stayed alone. He pushed me into the toilet, an intention to make love with me. I was drunk, and it was so funny to me, again. Then, one little sober part of my brain started to work. I realized that guy could use me, or worse, to rape me. Just, this thought did not save me. What saved me, was the person in front of toilet who desperately wanted to pee. He was knocking and hitting the door so Joe gave up. 

A few weeks later Joe started to date with my cousin. It was too much for me, so I had a conflict with her. Then I got a point, hooligan doesn’t choose and makes difference between women. He is equal toward all women, no matter who is she, his neighbor, colleague or lover. The only difference is which woman is smarter, who will tease him, who will shut up, or who will just run away. Joe was the man who slept well without conscience.

Nowadays, when I see men how they act toward other ladies, I see their image. I see how they treat their mother at home. I see how they act in publicity. So, if I feel loyalty and respect, if I see manners, I will know there is a chance that man is a good man. It is not guaranteed, but that is good material.

Sometimes I remember Diane, Jill, and Sarah. They all got married to some wild guys, I have heard they not treat them well. Just, this time I don’t judge girls. I judge a man who could not see something worthy of respect in all them. The man who did not give them chance.


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