When someone wants to control you, you will make resistance. Authorities, parents, relatives, friends, even our beloved partner will try to use control to realize their wishes. So, you should be good son or daughter, good member of society, great mother, wonderful husband and excellent friend. When you accept other’s control, you live accord their standards, even you don’t like it.
Now think about self control, that is something different, because you are owner of your desires and you will make your own path. You have this invisible lash, especially for yourself. Self control is not weapon of limitations. More, self control is your guidance, path which leads somewhere in unknown area, where your access is not allowed yet.
Blair had a lot adventures in youth. She was slutty girl and she prefer to call herself as wild, it sounded better. She used every chance to get passionate sex, in car, at park, even once near church, it was forbidden, exciting and dangerous. Once her best friend Cathy said to her : “You should control yourself more.” Blair get offended, what that peasant Cathy knew? She had no experience, her boyfriend left her after a year, because of other girl. But, one day Cathy met attractive stranger, Dominic. He was at holidays in their city. They were dating for a month, during summer season. Cathy got teddy bear and chocolates as gift for her birthday. An opposite, when Blair had birthday, nobody from her numerous guys did not remember. At least, her duty was to get wet, so they did not care. When Blair found out that Cathy did not have sex with Dominic, her envy was even bigger. What, how that peasant deserved this respect and attention?
Some misleads about self control are:
Only conservative and traditional people have self control, because their rules make limits.
That is not true, traditional person also know for enjoyment, but not for every eyes.
If i control myself, others will think that i am boring.
An opposite, if you put your own limits, people will be more interested to know you and dig under your surface.
If i miss something because of self control, i will regret later.
You can regret if you go too far.
Like it or not, if you are person without limits, it will make you damage when you don’t expect. Imagine that you meet handsome, sexy stranger.
Imagine internal battle between your heart, brain and instincts.
Heart will say : “He is gorgeous. He can make me happy, i see that in his smile. Let’s try to make romance.”
Brain will say : ” I don’t know nothing about him, but we can start as friends, without expectations.”
Instinct will say: “Let’s make love and get sweat. Live or let die.”
Instincts are enemies of self control. I don’t say that we should not listen our instincts never. But if you live as animal, if you never think about consequences, this is dangerous race. You can drive straight into abyss.
Self control teach us an important lessons.
When we will choose self control as option?
If you already had bitter experience.
If other person got something with such approach, and you did not think about this at all.
If you sacrifice something before, and this made good results.
Life is garden full of flowers, and some of them are toxic. Even if that flowers smell good and look beautiful, it is not guarantee . You can’t pick this because something is wrong. You can feel in the air that is not the right path.
Besides, person without control is easy target for everyone. People can use you, abuse you or take an advantage because you are good material for troubles. When you show to others that only you have key for your private areas, they will treat you differently. What is not available for all is more interesting, and more desirable.