Comfort is medicine when our heart is broken. This kind of cure should heal our wounds on the way that we should move on in future.
If you have good friend, he will help you with useful advices or examples. Maybe you can learn from his mistakes or you can compare bad experiences.
What happens when we can get only platitudes?
So, imagine yourself, you are crying on the shoulder of your best friend, you are shaking from rage and all what your friend can say is next:
Time heal all wounds.
God has plan for you.
You did not met right one.
He /she is not worthy of your tears.
Forget him, today you are crying, tomorrow you will smile.
Nothing lasts forever. We will all die anyway.
There is truth in this words, but how appropriate is to give platitude in this tragic moment? When person is miserable, time stops for a moment. Heart is frozen. Soul is devastated. You don’t believe in God or in any high forces, because you feel like victim and for you any justice is blind.
After you pass through few bitter experiences, and you have over 30, finding the right one is impossible mission. Maybe you will smile tomorrow, but today you want to break window. Why to keep negative feelings in yourself? Yes, nothing lasts forever, but you want to remember nice moments before you die. You don’t want to remember how one jerk cheated you or left you because he got bored with you.
What really good and honest friend can say to you?
Take a breath, cry, smash your plates, listen music loud, be alone. I can’t guarantee that your prince or princess will ever appear. You must believe in this, and if you never find happiness, at least you tried. Don’t give up , you don’t want that other’s laugh to you, isn’t it? Life is struggle, and nobody will knock at your door, but if you will go out maybe someone is there who can be perfect match for you.
Some harsh words can have more effects than platitudes. You have your best friend, and you want something to makes you calm. If you wanted preaching, you would go to church or to your old granny. If you wanted that someone lie to you, you would continue your previous relation which made this problem.
Truth is cruel when we talk about us. It is easy to judge others, but in painful moments truth can be as needle. Sharp and painful.
So, when someone ask you for an advice, be original. Say something what is possible, not delusional. Maybe you will help your friend, and maybe not. At least, you were here when that person needed you the most.