Real men do (not) make it public

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I always think about making love as private thing, because this distinguish people from animals. Simply thought that someone can watch me or hear me gives me unpleasant feeling. Once i was with my husband in car and we saw face on the window, i was thinking that i will freeze from fear. Guy started to runaway before we called police. That was kind of adrenaline but in wrong sense, because i got instinct to smash guy’s head with hammer.

Before a year ago me and husband move on new flat. New neighbors, new habits and new adjustment. This is rather quiet building and i rarely meet anyone except in elevator. After some time, we heard couple who live upstairs. It was female voice, moaning during they made love. It was repeating several times at months and last time i heard it yesterday. I did not sleep well cause i got up early for work and sound of her voice is still in my ears. It sounded as wounded pig. If you ask me am i jealous? No, i don’t have reason. I was horny? Not a chance, it chilled me out on zero degrees.

I was just surprised for several reasons.

Woman has no shame, because everyone can hear her.

She lives in flat with husband, son and father in law. I wonder do they have deal as in Jerry’s Springer show.

Woman obviously don’t care about privacy, because that is show for everyone now.

Her husband is primitive or hungry for attention. 

I know some men would say : “Wow, i am fucker number one, let everyone see how i do this. ” Some women would say : “That is real man , and i am proud what i have at home.” For me, all this is primitive. I know, in February time, i heard cats and their moaning, and i have much laughs, because that are animals. Cats don’t know about shame, honor, disgrace. They are cute cats and we will accept this as animal instinct.

Well, people are reasonable creatures, with ratio, shame, honor, grace. Everyone who cares about good reputation will keep their intimacy private. What is more sexy than intimacy between 4 walls, where nobody can hear you except your sexy partner? I don’t have desires to be exposed as in porno movie, i don’t want that neighbors laugh to me or gossip me because of my screams, and i am person who can control myself. What i do, how i do, is my personal thing.

I know that couple, she represents herself as kind woman who never has conflicts , and he is kind of hooligan in midlife crises. So, what i suppose to tell them? They are kind of people who are not for big discussion. They are savage peasants. I cover my ears and make music loud if is afternoon, but if there is over midnight hour, i can just hope that they will finish quick with their show.

Somehow i feel pity of them. They are stashed in small flat, 5 of them, with small salaries on manual work , so this sex exercise is all what they have. This shows indeed failure in life : if you don’t have place to fuck and everyone can hear you, you screw yourself at first.

I am not judgmental, far from that , but i despise if someone want to put something inappropriate as moral standards in general. As i heard in similar situations, let people enjoy . Freedom is limited where other’s freedom starts. Others also wish to enjoy in silence.

 

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Bulletproof heart

 

Key of frustrations is inside of us. We are the worst enemies of ourselves. It doesn’t matter what will others say or do, if it doesn’t reflect to us, we are calm and stable. Once when we relate with something bad, this is beginning of misery.

Some people have big system of punishments. They will cry because of things which someone said to them. They will get revenge or start big fight. In extreme cases, they will hurt themselves in real sense.

Gabriel was very sensitive girl. She was depressive and introvert and it was hard to communicate with her. Once when she opened her soul, she expected too much. When her boyfriend left her she started to cut herself with razor. Small scratches on her hand, one by one, all were reminders on her failures. She was guilty so it was her way to get punishment. Later she grew up in gorgeous woman and she get married, but scratches on her hand could not be removed. She did damage inside and outside. 

Why is important if someone treat us on bad way? 


Before we say or do something hasty, let’s think about how far we can go with such way of thinking.

Is that person important to you? She said or he said something provocative, nasty or insulting. Who is that person to you? Lover, member of family, friend or someone you did not even know very well?

Do you value her opinion? If you don’t care what she said, she can’t hurt you. I don’t care what my neighbors think about me, so they can’t hurt me.

What will happen if you hurt this person back? Will you feel better? She will cry or he will be angry, so if that makes you better, go ahead. Just think about sophisticated ways and don’t hurt yourself more.

If you think that someone makes your life bitter, face it with that person and think about your advantages. Know your enemy well. Recently i had conflict with my boss at work. She is very unpleasant woman and her habit is to compare people with animals. That day i was donkey, accord her opinion. She expected that i will be embarrassed, that i will cry or at least that i will apologize for mistakes i did at my work. I said this : “Shall we skip this preaching and go to concrete problem?” She said that i should feel awful. I replied to this : “I will immediately hang myself. “

It was her defeat because she was even more furious, i was smiling. The other day she changed strategy . She started to be nice and kind. Indeed that primitive behavior was her shame, not mine. 

Your opponents will be surprised with unexpected reactions. They will not hit target if you know how to make jokes or stay calm in the moment they want to hurt you.

Furious person is easy target. It is very easy to dare someone who has weak nerves and small amount of patience. Those people are fighting at streets, night clubs and bars, they are breaking glasses and making crowd and later security kick them out. 

The strongest persons are not measured by weight, they are measured with their mind. If you watch action movies, smart man will have big gorilla bodyguard near him, to invite him when is necessary. Smart person will not make hands dirty, others will do their dirty jobs. 

Insults are bullets. They will hit in fragile spots. You can expose yourself to bullets and bleed, or you can avoid them with bulletproof strategies.

Infidelity for publicity


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Love has unpredictable ways and one of them is curiosity. After some years with partner you look at that person with different eyes. Sparks are still here, but your cheeks are not blushing anymore when you want to kiss him, you will not grab his shirt and tear on small pieces every time when you want to make love. What is left then, is respect and loyalty, and if this doesn’t exist, your love is not real.

Simply, there is difference between love and fall in love. That difference sometimes cost, and you want to see what is offering outside.

Shortly, X man and Y girl were couple in relation and girl became suspicious because guy received sms at evening time. X had an excuse, that sender is his bank and sms were reported about his account . His girlfriend Y did not trust him so she called radio broadcast and they were searching track for her. So they found out that guy has an affair with other girl. Even his messages were signed with nickname Vulkanizer, Y checked and found out the truth. That Vulkanizer was another woman with name Andrea.

The result was, she broke relation. Extra news belong to readers in Croatia and listeners of radio show, because this love story became reality circus for audience and press wrote about this.

In old times, when partner cheated, desperate wife was crying and tried to protect their privacy. 


Now days, technology offers different ways for revenge. We can make our partners ashamed, let everybody knows. Just, when you expose your life in public, some unknown people will laugh to you also, not just to your partner who cheated you. This is feeling as you are naked in front of strangers.

The most dangerous poison is infidelity, it causes broken heart and broken trust. If you show in public how much you are hurt, maybe you will have satisfaction in the moment, but later you will feel embarrassed too.

Hope next time this girl will have more luck. 

Karma is a bitch



Life will not spare us of pain. Tears and wounds are part of living, and we are hurt on unexpected way when we are not ready for this. Things are more worse when your friend or lover hurts you. Someone you kissed and hugged, someone you shared secrets and trust suddenly is your enemy. That is double scar, person who break your heart and trust. When enemy hurts you, you are less wounded, because that was not person who lived in your heart.

Our reactions will be various. If you don’t wish vengeance, you will forgive, and try to forget. If you like revenge, you will not have peace until you return this kick. Here is one more way, life will be your supporter and karma will do great work.

What is karma and how does it work? I talk about karma as balance. If you do bad things to someone constantly, it will come back to you. If you hurt innocent person, you will suffer with time. If you hurt someone who loves you, you will get the same treatment from person you love. Pain is connected chain, so large amount of negative energy will spread and in right moment, bad person will get lesson.




What happens in this reclaim moment?

Person x will ask “why this happens to me?”

Person x remembers something from past, bad actions and deeds.

Person x will ask for forgiveness.

Person x will pass through circle of pain.

It is hard to wait that karma hits person who makes your life miserable . Sometimes, that person will stay unpunished, but karma will focus on children and relatives. Target of pain is not always person who did something bad. Karma is cruel and that lesson could be collateral damage. 

One example shows this.

Adele had short relation with Roy. She was  young and she explained him that it was not real love so she wanted to be free. Roy did not accepted this, he stalked her, disturbed  on phone, and gossiped her around, to ruin her reputation. She was unpleasantly surprised when she found title on her car “Adele is a slut”. It was bad act and Roy also wanted more, he entered into her friends circle to turn her friends against her. It was hard time for Adele, because she was studying and she was focused on exams. She finished college and she got work as lawyer. One day she found article at internet, about local accident. Roy was injured by knife . He was in hospital because his girlfriend stabbed him. Adele felt relief.


Some people will say, it is not nice to celebrate misery of others. Well, if you suffered because someone gave you pain, you have right on your personal celebration. Make your little party and enjoy this moment. Later, when you drink in the name of karma, forget this. Don’t remember what was bad and sad. Set yourself free. There is a saying that karma is a bitch, because you never know when it will hit you. 

Best friends are not for granted

Ernest Hemingway said that a man is not an island. We need interaction with people, and some of them will be our friends. What kind of person is friend?

For sure there is difference between acquaintance and friendship. If we greet someone at the street, it doesn’t mean this is our friend. If we work with someone in the same office, we have no obligation to be friends either. The same is with neighbors, we can be polite, but it is not our duty to share privacy with them.

Someone can have internet profile with thousands friends. Only word friend doesn’t reveal what is inside of this. People at page can be only numbers to increase friend list, many of them you will never know or exchange even word hello with them.

What makes someone real friend is much bigger than daily greetings and few kind words. Look at how many people will come if you prepare celebration, party or if you accidentally won at lottery. Wow, how much friends love you! This is not real image. 

If you have debts, if you are passing hard divorce or you are depressed and without job, these kind of friends will melt as ice on the sun. Where are such friends now?

Also, people can be conformists who will sacrifice you for the sake of their group. You doesn’t fit in some friend circles, so they will throw you out. 

Best friend is person who will not give you useless advices or talk about himself when you need someone who will listen to you

This kind of person will not runaway when you are in trouble. He or she will not flirt with your partner , copy your style or compete with you. This kind of people are rivals, not friends, they are backstabbers and it is not pleasant to walk with knife in your back.

Everyone likes nice words and promises, but act will reveal real friend. Someone who do an opposite from his words is not stable and trustful person. He can sit on two chairs and play for both teams from selfish interests.

Be careful before you call someone best friend. It is not matter how long you know this person. Important is, what this person do for you all this time. How much loyalty and stability you got from him? Do you want to smile or cry when you remember her face?

Best friend is person with guarantee, someone you can count it. This skill is proved a long time ago.

Dancing with myself

Human body is not resistant on time. How we get old, we are more sleepy, tired and with lack of energy. Our will could be stronger, but our physical ability is out of battery. If you are not doing any sport activities, you will face it with struggle, how to stay in the race. 

Imagine group of people who wish to go out for weekend. They have plans, but what is with realization? What is suitable for their ages, and what is in their brains?

First group are young people, from 16-24 years.

Usually, they will go to night clubs. They will dance and drink whole night. Some of them will stay also on after parties. Tomorrow, they will repeat this, because party never ends.

Second group are adult people, from 25-30 years.

They are already working weekly, so they will think about how long to stay in clubs, especially if it is Sunday. If that deal is on Friday, some of them are maybe tired. So they will skip Friday to get rest, and they will meet in Saturday.

Third group are people from 31-40 years.

You are still interesting to go in clubs? Or, you think there are kids? Maybe you prefer concert with classic music, or you simply want to go in nature, to get some fresh air. If you decide for night clubs, wear something fashionable , squeeze your teeth if there is crowd, and go to take vip seats. Cinema is also not bad choice.

Fourth group are people from 41-50 years.

You think you don’t have friends anymore, who wants to get out tonight? Now is time to select your team. If your friends are rich, they will know way how to have fun. If you have some saved money, go in journey. You saw already all in your country and in your city, so this is time to travel the world.

Fifth group are people from 51-60 years.

You wish to finish your knitting? Or, finally you will read book at peace? Don’t worry, spa are also good choice. You can swim in warm swimming pool with cocktail in your hands and go to wellness later. 

In generally, you can have fun in every age, even not in the same way. It is never too late to break some rules, or to make surprise for other people, who think that you are written off. What is important, is your feeling inside. 

One interesting thing is: ordinary people are always topic for judgement. Nobody will get surprise if Joan Collins is  going  at party, or if Silvio Berlusconi is dating with girl who can be his granddaughter. They are famous and their limits are crossed a long time ago. What is with ordinary woman in middle ages, or in fifties? Society will mock her, especially if she is in some night bar alone, without husband. 

Unfortunately, we can’t erase some labels, and we can’t avoid judgmental people. 


Just for comfort, people who are used to observe others are usually without own life. If your neighbor is constantly watching you and if her face is on window every time when you go out in new clothes, she is just lonely and curious. Maybe she is frustrated, and maybe her life is indeed boring. If you can hear conversations of some people, main event in their lives happened when their cat broke  expensive vase. But this was from Ming dynasty, so what a waste! Wow, naughty cat, and that happened this weekend. 

When i asked my office roommate what she will do this weekend, she said: “I will ironing. I have no weekend. “

Everyone has weekend time. Some are dancing with themselves, because they have no company. Others are slaves in the service of others. The most happy people are those with choice. Yesterday i was freezing with my boyfriend in open cinema, but it was cool, and i did not complain. I will drink some hot tea and continue today. Party never ends. 

Only love can’t save marriage

 

Money can’t buy love and happiness, that is clear. Also people can’t live without money, and everyone who believe that only love will save their marriage or relation is in big mislead.

Many marriages split because of financial problems. When your children are hungry, when your partner can’t find job, love can’t help too much. Nerves are weak, conflicts are often, and harmony from yesterday became tragedy for today. If you love your family, you will find a way to earn money to keep your beloved people in safety, to give them chance for better future.

Nowadays, money has bigger meanings than in past. Your children will need computers, cell phones, good education, nice clothes..do you wish that other children laugh to them, that they will not be accepted in their environment? So every marriage needs  financial background, for stability.

Everything is nice when you fall in love in someone. You love spark in his eyes, sound of her smile, soft whisper of his voice, and you fly without wings. It would be ideal if relation would last one month. But, when you are with someone for a years, when you decide to spend life with that person, are you sure that you can offer only spark in your eyes and nice words?

Thomas and Barbara were married, they had eight children. It was rarity in their city because families were usually with 2 or the most 3 children, so they were subjects of many discussions. 

One day small daughter Alison got nits. She was scratching her hair in classroom and she spreads that on other children. Parents were furious, and Alison was isolated at home for a days.  Thomas, her father was drunk as usual, and Barbara said just that she doesn’t need to go in school anyway. During years, all that children found their path, they were employed and married , but they never forgot their unhappy childhood. They talked to their children about importance of money. Not because money can bring happiness. Just because money brings you respect, stability and safety in life. When you are poor, you don’t loose only good clothes or chance to eat in good restaurants. You loose dignity and pride, because you must beg, borrow money, you will see people how they are laughing to you or feel sorry, and you can be a slave to other people who have money.

Two teenagers can hold their hands and kiss in the rain, walk in old shoes and go to the cinema without buy a ticket, because that is risk and adventure. 

But with years, people wish to be comfortable, to have social insurance, to have good care when they got sick. And only love will not give them all these things. 

If you love your partner, work together, earn money, share money and enjoy. You can’t buy happiness with money, but it is better to cry in BMW than sit in the dark corner of spare room .