How to recognize virtual stalker?

Internet should be a place for gathering people in a way that they respect each other, exchange ideas and not disturb. Unfortunately, progress of technology made all lunatic of this world to came out, as worms after rain.

I believe that many people faced it with kind of maniacs and stalkers on different ways and that it was unpleasant experience. I know persons who deleted profiles and never appear at social networks again because of this kind of trauma. Also there is possibility of hacking which is more harmful.  Not all social networks are safe, some are made for earnings, not to protect their members. Despite of rules, wise stalker will always find a way to enter and annoy particular target.

At least, we must protect ourselves from intruders. 


There is a pattern, as alarm , how to recognize virtual stalker.



1. the same minute you add person, he/she wants to talk private with you

2. that person likes all your photos and posts, immediately appear in every corner of your page

3. when you are busy, stalker asks what happened why you are not here

4. if you try to explain that you are not available or not in the mood for chat, person says that you are rude or pretentious

5. when you try to break connection, stalker starts to threat or blackmail

6. person try to contact you with  another fake pages if you delete him/her

In the past, lunatic and stalkers were in mental hospitals, nowadays they use internet to approach. That is why we all must use logic and common sense, to avoid that kind of associating. If stalker is already on our pages, we must get out from that connection with all possible buttons and tools. 

Indeed, next step could be meeting alive, and there options delete and block cannot help. You will stand face to face with freak or maniac.

Are you able to look forward?

15267972_353778211642118_940239619523587085_n.jpg

Every important decision is result of few steps. Thinking, acting and elimination of another options. When you bring decision, you gave up from other solution which was not necessary bad, but you simply chose your path.

The question i ask myself is next : “How good i am in calculation? Am i able to look forward, to predict my results?”

I am not psychic, also i am very emotional and hasty sometimes, my ways are spontaneous, but i like to lean on my intuition and my experience. My experiences are indeed my filters, and i use this to compare previous situations with my present problem , because it helps me to bring the best solution.

In business, friendship and love we must lean on some signs, which shows us that something will not finish good.

c0gluegweaa-loq

These are factors which show that we are not on good way:

Another side is passive, we are the only who try to progress.

Another side doesn’t want to give up from bad habits.

Another side is not ready for change .

When my husband asked me: “How did you know that will happen?”, i said that i simply knew because of previous experiences. It was person X who had boyfriend and i predict that they will break up. All was leading to this. He was ignorant, selfish and passive. She was running for him and give him too much chances. He had no reason to fight for their relation, because she was always there for him.

I was not always like this. Situations in past were fatal for me. I remember the end, how some people hurt me. From then, i blow on cold. I smell betrayal, distrust and lack of confidence . Someone would tell, don’t you take a risk? Yes, i take a risk, but i don’t give too much time and chances for person who did not impressed me at first sight.

If you are step forward, this is big advantage toward your rivals. You can pretend and play a fool, other side will sleep and you will just wait to use high kick into ass. That is lion strategy, he pretends that he sleeps but when trophy is here, he is ready to grab chance.

 

In the name of tradition


14717328_1331260953553191_4444413917897133029_n

Passion is wild connection between two people who like each other. This is something hard to control and we can’t explain why we like particular person so much. Glimpse of his eye, the way how she is smiling, her lips, his hands, sexy voice and sparks are in the air. Passion doesn’t know for time and place, and when libido run over limits, we can ask for only one question :”Where?”

If you are flexible and not so picky, open air will be one of the option for making love. In summer time every river, lake, meadow or forest are good places for sex. Take a blanket  if you want to be in forest because insects and rocks will be your big obstacle. Spray against mosquitoes is also very welcome and you can go in your hot adventure.

Except of insects, unknown visitors and chance to be ashamed, you can also meet policeman. The Law of order in Croatia has money penalization for sex on open air, so accord new updates you will pay 700 euro for your pleasure. It is absurd that you will pay more for sex on public place, than if you slap a woman. If you slap woman and she report you , money penalty will be about 300 euro. It sounds ridiculous that abusing woman is smaller criminal act than sex at public place. Obviously, moral is more important than woman dignity. What can make woman humiliated, situation where she is in flagranti with her lover, for example in the beach , in hot summer night after night swimming, when both decide to make love ? Or, situation when guy slap his woman in front of the people? Because she deserved, as would small minded people say?

Public order is not just censure of naked bodies or forbidden sex on the beach.

This is just a superficial way to protect traditional values. Just, here is something forgotten. Many women in Croatia are abused, accord statistic every third woman, but nobody got an idea to collect signatures for referendum. Speaking of this, recently 65.87 % Croatian people in referendum voted for marriage as community just for man and woman, because some people were in panic of gay or lesbian love. One more time traditional values were attacked, because of sacred marriage. People forgot, what kind of marriage is community where husband beats his wife? The main thing was, traditional framework must be saved.

Sometimes, public order is as shit wrapped in golden paper. You are impressed with shinny envelope, and when you open it still stinks. 

Inhibitions

12495001_990412971022878_8982219953532136718_n.jpg
Key of harmonic relation is clear mind, pure heart  and strong character. If we are free from inhibitions, half way is done. We don’t doubt in ourselves, there is nothing to shame about if our wishes are not in harmony with others and wishes of society.

No matter do you wish to show your naked body in magazine or suggest hot night to guy, or if you just want to show legs in short skirt, first step is to be free of invisible chains. Whatever is blocking you inside, face it with this and show what you want.

Some people have problems with inhibitions, which are serious limits to relax in any kind of relations.

What type of people are in this risky group?

Shy people. They feel unpleasant in crowd, they are blushing and their voice tremble. Sometimes they can’t breath . Also they will repeat some words, as they want to lean on something during speech.

Introvert people. They feel better in corner, with book in their hands. Their privacy is closed and they are untrustful. Their internal world is locked.

People devoted to tradition or religion on extreme ways. Some people will feel guilt if you suggest anything provocative, against their tradition or religion, what is opposite to their  rules.

People with complexes. No matter if they have bitter experience, bad opinion about their physical look or their abilities, seed of inhibition is inside of them.

Inhibitions are not something to shame about or subject of jokes. If you laugh to person who has such problems, you are idiot.

What if you fall in love in person with inhibitions?

14604840_1100632530034965_2174815883917596611_n

These are steps.

Open this box carefully, don’t push and don’t force. Show him that your world without chains is beautiful.

Go slow. If your girlfriend is still virgin, don’t rush with sex. Show your romantic side first.

Show your weakness. Don’t act superior toward shy person. You are also human. Tell this person when you slip on ice and fall. Tell how you spill coffee in restaurant. Also you are not perfect.

Give them compliments. You must feed their self respect. Make them stronger, wake up their self-confidence.

The worst thing you can do when you have friend or lover with complexes, is to make laugh or give them pills or alcohol. Remember movie “Carrie.” Girl got period and she had no idea what is this. Until she was bleeding under shower, other girls hit her with tampons. It was scary scene and expression of human cruelty.

Person with inhibitions is not experimental rabbit or someone unworthy. When someone is hiding secret, that is somehow charming. You wish to know what is bothering him and it will wake up your curiosity. When you love such person, use patience and tenderness.

Everyone of us faced with such kind of obstacle. You had inhibition, your sister or friend also had this problem. This is temporary, so don’t make problem harder. If someone is sinking, give him hand , don’t push him deeper to get drown.

Bodyguard with licence

Basic instinct of every man is to care for his woman. Either to bring her food or drink, either to protect her from another men. Mature man will know how to face it with some jackass who wish to stole their girlfriend, but young guys will be in dilemma, how to protect their honor and not to hurt their better half with aggressive behavior. 

I heard story about this topic from my friend. He went to date with younger girl and they visited night club. While he was in toilet, she was in the corner, dancing and waiting for him. Suddenly, other guy approached her and offered her drink. She accepted. When my friend came back, his girlfriend was chatting and drinking cocktail with unknown guy. He reacted impulsive, he wanted to get out and fight with the competition. But, when that other guy accepted invitation , he suddenly gave up. My friend explained this : “Why to beat somebody because my girl accepted his drink? She should not accept this because she came with me. At least, she pretended that i am not here.  “

The biggest problem you will ever have with men is when you do things under their back. Of course, you are not his dog and he can’t put you on leash, but you need to share trust with him. If you are with him, why to flirt with others, even in front of his eyes? 

I remember situations when i was waiting my husband to bring me beer. Guys sometimes approached to me, to check am i alone, with friends, or boyfriend. I would smile and show that i am not alone and always rejected drinks. I am not poor and can buy my own drink. When you accept drink from stranger, this is invitation for talk. So, he broke ice and now you are available for him, no matter even you are not single. When you go out with your partner, you will not be all the time together with him. This is normal, he will go to toilet, say hello to his friends, bring you drink. You will say hello to your friends. You are not his sticker, and sometimes it may cause confusion, because guys are trying to catch some free woman. If you are attractive, chances are bigger that you might get into trouble.

Once i saw beautiful girl in night club, she was dancing alone while her partner was sitting at the stairs. He was not interested for techno dance, so he was just watching from the main floor. Guys were approaching her, one by one, to talk, even to be rejected, just to try. She was kind but cold. It was professional kindness, i could almost read this “do not disturb” title on her face. 

On other hand, which guy will threat to other guy, who only tried to get attention? If rival is decent, if he knows limits, there is no problem with word no. If you have bad luck, you will meet someone as Joe. Joe was guy i used to know. He adores dance, and he was spinning around every girl on the floor. He did not even ask is girl without partner. So he got some punches in the face. 

Sometimes, girl will cause incident, just to feed her ego.


If you are not that guy who will fight as Steven Segal, she will call you pussy or sissy. You need to use common sense if you wish to punch other guy, is he really deserved this? What if he is her boss from work or just nerd from school who wanted to remain her on exam?

Now, in which situation is necessary to start fight?

When other guy doesn’t give up from flirt with your girlfriend.

When other guy pushed you. So he already started.

When other guy insulted your girlfriend.

When other guy try to kiss your girlfriend.

In this world, not everyone is gentleman. Some men are jerks and it is hard to explain that woman in short skirt  is not available for everyone. She dressed up for her partner, not for everyone in the club. She did not want to challenge you, she wanted to be pretty for her partner. Glass of alcohol, angry guy and fight can start. Are you bodyguard with licence or you just slapped wrong guy, who only wanted to say hello to your girlfriend?

Celebrities behind bars

Break the rule, it can be very exciting and funny, but break the law is not so hilarious. Unless you don’t want to pay big money or spend life behind prison bars, conflicts with law are not recommended. As every rule has an exception, here are examples of famous persons who avoided justice very successfully.

So, if you want to play with system, you should be famous. If you believe that all are equal in this world and that ordinary person will get equal punishment as famous star, you are very wrong.

In the year 2011 Serbian singer Svetlana Ceca Ražnjatović was accused because of illegal possession of money from transfer of football players . That footballers were playing for football club Obilić and she was president of that club. For those who doesn’t know, Ceca is widow of familiar criminal man Željko Ražnjatović Arkan. She took 2 million euro and over 300 000 dollars on illegal way, she took money for herself. What court said? She got 8 months of house arrest together with her sister, who was cooperator in her act. She also got bracelet with bipper around her leg, as insurance that she will not try to escape.

This was not the end, so 2 years later she was accused for threats and her advocate wanted to deal with court , he suggested that Ceca could pay money in humanitarian purposes, but court denied that. Can you imagine that ordinary person would avoid normal prison for stealing other money?

Paris Hilton was arrested because of possession of drugs, and she was in prison, but her treatment was much better that with other prisoners. She was only 23 days in jail.

Khloe Kardashian was driving drunk, and she got 30 days of prison. Instead this, she spent only 173 minutes behind prison bars in Lynwood jail, famous as place for celebrities. Her sister even made party for her before she went there , party was named as “Girl, you are going to prison.”

So, it is not easy to be ordinary man. If you are not celebrity, and if you drink over 2 glasses of alcohol and police stops you, and you have over 1.5 promil (in Croatia), you will stay without drive licence for one month, you will pay about 1000 euro for penalty and you must go to test at shrink for your abilities. All this, and if you even did not drive fast or make damage or hurt someone at road. Unless you know a policeman to make deal with him, but even then you will have hard time to avoid punishment. 

Nomen est omen. Name is a sign. If you are in trouble with law, just tell what is your name. The other part is history.

Wife by definition

13882622_1631899217123082_6933077624693057048_n
What was your dream when you were little girl? Did you dream about warm home, kids, good husband and dog? Or you had dream about many men under your feet, parties and journeys? As much this vision sounds irrelevant now, your life path will show that nothing is by coincidence.
The way of your thinking, clothing, talking is key for your destiny. If you stuck as mistress, it is not because Gypsy said a long time ago that you will never have luck in love. It is because your behavior attract such kind of men who are not able for relation, at least not with you. If you are wife, that is because you shown your serious intentions and men recognized this.
Diane is average woman, not pretty, not ugly, single mother with adult son. She used to say that she had no luck and that men are pigs. Well, if you look at her choice, she tried to make pie from craps. Her first man was immigrant from Africa who came into Europe for asylum. After Diane got pregnant, he returned in his country, because he was home sick. They were not married so this way was easier for him. Second man was married and had problems with his wife, so Diane was his comfort. Third man was her boss. Diane was secretary and she was fascinated with his old boss. It was not forever, soon that man gone from his position and their relation was over too. Now Diane is in retirement and single.
As three fake witnesses might hang you, wrong choice of men could label your life as failure. It is not just who they are , it is how they see you and which are their plans.
Do you date with player or potential husband?
In 4 steps you can recognize player.
He calls you when he is free, that is maybe once at week or even month.
 
He avoids word “we”.
 
He will not introduce you to his parents or friends.
 
He doesn’t talk about future. His time is now, in present moment. 
 
 
Here is one basic rule.
Women will be more successful in searching players, and men will be more successful in searching wives.
 
Let’s be real. Men are not so crazy to jump in marriage, especially when they are in twenties. They wish to have many adventures and they enjoy in random sex. Later, when they get tired , they will choose woman to settle down. That is woman who will not force them and run  for them in white wedding gown . That is woman who is not desperate and who will understand them.
On other hand, every woman dream to get marry. Even those who will not admit it dream about husband. So, sometimes this desire is so strong that scares man. Ask man what is his nightmare, that is to get marry too young and not ready. So , man can choose between women who wish to get marry, but he will not have easy task to find woman for one night stand. Woman is surrounded by men who wish sex, but she will not easy find future husband.
Women are not aware that they pick their own path, by giving signals so men.
See profile of mistress.
” I love my freedom. I enjoy in sex. I had many guys before you. Relation is choking me. I don’t like kids, they are annoying. Marriage is choking me. I don’t know will i ever settle down. “
Accord this pattern, mistress will chose unavailable man ( someone from other country or city), married man or even bisexual. Someone who is in prison is also good candidate. Or playboy who sits on many chairs, or too young man. What is their connection? They are not candidate for marriage. They will not stay.
See profile of wife.
“I wish to get marry , to have husband to whom i will trust. Together is easier. “
Wife is person who make plans. She is step forward so she will not lose time with someone who can’t promise future. She will date with man who will take care for her, who is not only with her for hot sex. She will reject other men because she found her match.
There is no bad luck in love. You can meet jerk, but you are not obligate to stay with him. You can burn your fingers in marriage, but you are not bonded forever. Only bad attitude will mark you forever.
If you meet a man and first what you say is ” i don’t trust you”, you just opened your bad prediction. On this way, you wanted to be unhappy in love. It is not that your crystal ball shown you bunch of jerks, you attracted them with your beliefs.

Fighters and cowards

When you have to deal with problems, usually you will get advice: “Be strong.” Our characters are different and we will handle our hard moments on different ways.

Someone will cry and breakdown is possible.


You pass through tough breakup or divorce? You will need hand, but the main decision is on you, how you will handle this situation. If you are strong person, you will not ring on the door of your friends every time when you feel sad and when your ex is missing you. Very important part is your pride. Face it with problems because they will not run away over night.

Life can be as earthquake, ground is shaking under your feet when bad things start to ruin your safety. Time of crises is an explosion. Bomb is here, your life will crush, you will collect small pieces , behind of you is sound of rattle and you are lost. Strong person will consider this situation as challenge. Well, life is testing me, so let me see how i can deal with this. I am fighter, so my odds are not big, but i am in the game. That moron left me and i will find better guy. In fact he do me a favor. I had no power to leave him, but i will be enough strong not to call him back. 

If you are weak, you will think about suicide, because for you now is end of the world. 


I will not love anyone as i loved him, he was everything to me and my life is over, so i will start to plan my funeral. This pathetic elegy is the main problem of weak people, they give up even they still have chance to fix things. We can see this difference in childhood. Little weak boy lose in monopoly game. He will cry, he is furious and next time he will not play, because he afraid of defeat. His friend is brave guy. He will also lose, but he can’t wait next time. This is adrenaline, challenge. He is very happy to get this kind of revenge. Now i will smash him and i will win, this is how he thinks.

When you got bad mark at school, will you give up from studying? Let’s leave school, all this is shit and i don’t want to bother anymore. Or, you will prove to teacher that you are not idiot. You are candidate for excellent mark next time.

Life is not fairy tale. If anyone thinks that life is just unwrapped gift, that person is very wrong. We can see in movies that some people can get anything because they are benefited, powerful or simply lucky. This is not realistic view. Behind every victory and happiness is a background. If you dig into other’s life, you will see pain, grief, struggle. Ask reach businessman how he gets success. His money doesn’t come from the sky right into his hands. It was hard battle, and way to success was full of thorns.

Darwin said: “Only the strongest survive.” The strongest people are not those who are over 100 kilograms weight . They are not wrestlers or kickboxers. Real strenght came out from clear mind. You might beat everyone if you are resistant, if you don’t give up and if you believe in yourself. If someone thinks opposite, make a challenge. Real fighter will respond on your challenge. Coward will hide in the rat hole and eventually, he will gossip you behind your back.

The price of modesty

Be good and modest person and everybody will love you. That is kind of attitude to avoid conflicts, judgments or to be accepted in society as good member. That is small line of resistant, don’t fight, don’t argue and you will live peaceful life.

Modesty has good sides, so modest person knows where is her place, don’t ask for impossible things , stays firm on the ground and know to control herself. Also, modest person know to value what she owes. She is grateful even for small things. 

If you are born as modest person, and you live accord this principles because you like it, this is your right. This is part of your personality, you like to walk, you don’t need BMW, you will buy clothes in second hand shops because you don’t like brand fashion.

Conformists love to say what others love to hear. Modesty is sometimes connected with conformism because pushing yourself in the corner is similar.

When you are modest, you sustain of some material wealth, and when you are conformist, you sustain of rebellion just to please others.


If you say that you are ambitious and that you are different than others, you will be considered as pretentious egoist with vanity.  You will be Louis XIV, pretentious France king.

Self confidence and self respect are not appetite for destruction of others. If i say that i love nice clothes and long journeys, i will not be Imelda Marcos. I just have high standards toward some things and values. 

Being modest doesn’t mean that you gain real values because you don’t want to enjoy some benefits. It is your choice, but why to push your choice to others?

It is wrong to kiss the ground and to announce yourself as saint, modest angel, because of your rating in top list in this society. Yes, you don’t like me because i am not modest, but i will not cry for this.

If i say : “You can do better.”, do i underestimate your modesty as value? Modesty doesn’t stream to maximum, it is pleased with golden middle or even minimal results. Bad side of modesty is situation where you underestimate yourself, because you are maybe not aware of your possibilities, maybe your humility made big shadow over your power. 

I look at modesty as kind of curtain. If guy loves modest girl, he will take an effort to seduce her, even he is maybe too big trophy for her, in her eyes. If girl loves modest guy, she will take this as challenge if she is different, if she loves race and breaking limits. 

Look at someone in casual clothes, and you will think how modest is this person. Just, that is not complete picture. Modest person could have joker in the pocket. Poker face is good sign for modest people, because they can win race at the end.

Can you forgive to yourself?

Guilt and responsibility are elements of forgiveness. When you decide to forgive others, you will throw out their guilt, and forward this responsibility on yourself. You will forget and look in the future, with hope that they will not repeat the same mistakes as before. Sounds simple, because you set yourself free from burden. Even better, other person will feel bad, because in this moment conscience will work automatically. You are good guy, person who hurt you is bad guy, in this simple equation. 

What happens when you need to forgive to yourself? You know that you did something bad and it hunts you in your dreams. Did you hurt your parents? Did you broke heart of good woman? Did you steal and nobody never caught you? Did you manipulate with someone and now you can’t fix it, because person is dead?

Henry was famous as aggressive person. He was ex policeman and he used this power to exaggerate and punish people in cruel ways. He expanded this power in private life and his women had black eye, broken teeth and fear in their hearts. He had bad connection even with his relatives, and with years all rejected them. Ian was the only who accepted him as he is, but also he threats to Ian that he will kill him, because once he drove his mistress in the car. It was simply misunderstanding, because poor woman was alone on the road, and Ian simply offered transport to her. Ten years later, Ian died from cancer. He was good man and he had big funeral. Henry was shocked when he got bad news. He visited his family but they did not want to hear for him. He offered money to his son and he hardly accepted this, because Henry was very persistent. Henry never cried so much as that day. He went to funeral and even people gave condolence to him, he was very sad. Feeling of guilt was pressuring him, as hard rock on his heart. Henry did not forgive to himself yet. He remembers his best friend Ian, and this memory did not fade. When he close eyes, face of Ian is in front of him, as warning.

Why is harder to forgive yourself than to others?

We face with our dark side. Our dark twin is devil inside of us.

We feel big amount of guilt, and this eat us inside.

We  must admit our mistakes. 

We must accept responsibility.

We  must accept the truth, that we did not deserve some good things in our life.

We realize, that we took life for granted.

Bad act is very easy. You will just throw all good what you have. You will hurt or slap someone. You will cheat, lie or steal. 

Forgiveness is hard act. If you need to forgive to yourself, this is much harder. You need to kill this bad person inside of you if you want to survive and live again.