Holidays are favorite part of the year because we can relax and forget about control. Sing, dance and smile, that are only orders. No more boring bosses, annoying teachers and parents, now is all allowed. We can be clumsy, crazy and out of our mind.
If you can’t relax on holiday, you must be dead inside.
Alcohol is double sword. We can do things we should not do, it will courage us to expose our love or hate, depends of situation.
Alcohol is tasty poison. That poison has deadline. You are under magic formula that night, and in the morning you want to forget all. If you even remember what happened.
History remember those who broke the rules. Also beautiful and brave women will enter into chronology and left their footprints. French national hero Jeanne d’ Arc is remembered as girl who was leader of french army and defeated English enemies and saved Orleans . Later she was wounded and caught as heretic girl. She was burnt on bonfire in Rouen when she was only 19. In the year of 1920 she was pronounced as saint.
In Croatia newspapers wrote about Kristina Ćurković. She is not leader of army but she was posing with gun. She became familiar when she was hitting eggs on politicians who represent Croatian democracy community (HDZ – political group) in Omiš. Also she remove the flag of European union and changed with Croatian flag. When Croatia had referendum for family, she was strictly against gays and lesbians, and she said that family is community just for man and woman and only this kind of family can be healthy family. That girl is unemployed, young and pretty, and she declared herself as radical supporter of right center.
Reactions are various. People, included her own sister talk about her as girl ready for circus, hungry for attention. Especially because she was missing for a two days, nobody knew where she disappeared. She justified her absence with uncharged battery at cell phone.
Other people will clap their hands because she said something in public what is indeed truth, that people are not going on elections in Croatia. Only minority voted for present Government, and others are passive.
One thing is for sure. In the time when many young people in Croatia are not interested for school, education and when streets are full of beggars, alcoholic and violent teenagers, this girl dare to say the truth. She is pretty, but she did not use her beauty to became model or singer, even this way could be easier for her. She expose herself to risk. Someone could attack her because of her open speech, she was already reported and she got public judgement.
If we compare her and Jeanne d’ Arc, differences are in attitude. It was another time. Jeanne burnt in bonfire because of her beliefs. Jeanne had no chance and possibilities to survive. Kristina was born in the age of technology. She just need to change her methods. Croatia needs new leaderships, but with calm and smart people who will have good arguments. This country is sleeping. We need someone to wake up sleepy crowd and lead them in the right direction.
We have two political groups who are changing on the top . Social democrats, as left center, and conservative Croatian group HDZ (Croatian democratic community). The main conclusion is, they are not successful in their decision, people are unemployed, hungry, salaries are small and there is no order on the streets. You can see drunk teenager in the middle of the day with the bottle of wine how he fall on the floor and nobody will pay attention. In the other hand, policeman will approach you to ask you for documents if you are laughing loud when you return home from the party.
What are real values and real order? This young girl pull her finger. She doesn’t know what she is exactly doing, but she asked question what we must think about.
My eyes are still wide open. I try to set up my pillow , how to make myself more comfortable. Too much in my mind right now, that thoughts are boring as flies, they capture my brain so hard that i feel them as iron chains. My eye allergy started, it itches, cause that is connected with insomnia.
I get up and and cook tea. Now i must wait few minutes to water boil. Still this is not enough, i will take medicine.
It is so quiet that i can feel sound of the dark. Darkness will swallow my thoughts.
Even tea is too hot, i will burn my tongue. I drink short and quick mugs.
That will be forced dream. Yes i close my eyes, i will drown in that dark now. What i feel, now i am not here. I fall into abyss. That woman in black try to strangle me, i feel creature from air on my neck. I woke up and my heart skip a beat.
How to handle the day if you did not sleep?
Bunch of coffee or energetic drinks will not help you, because you will feel like Earth is spinning around and you are still on one place. Energetic drinks are not healthy, it will wake you up temporary. You might work with half energy and when you come home, you will sleep in the same minute.
Enemies of good sleep:
– pavor nocturnus (night fear)
If you read or exercise before sleep, if you drink coffee or tea you will have problem with sleeping.
Pavor nocturnus and nightmare are typical for children, but if you pass through trauma it is possible that you dream your fears and they are hunting you. My usual nightmare was old woman in black, who was stalking me until i woke up with scream.
Everyone faced with insomnia at least once. Especially is bad feeling when you need to get up early after you did not sleep whole night. Working with headache is not recommended. Accord Murphy’s law, you will get more work if you did not sleep last night.
Try to deal with causes of your insomnia, no matter are they just your pillow, your partner or job. When you discover causes, you will have peaceful dream.
Some old recipes for insomnia:
– sex with your partner
-masturbation, if you are without partner
-watching movie, until you sleep
-walk into another room, open window and breath fresh air
Lack of dream might cause aggression. Imagine situation if someone yells at you, and sound of his voice break invisible fence in your brain. You want to fight back, so you will be aggressive too. If you are clumsy and nervous, the main reason is also night before, when you did not sleep. Next night is your opportunity, try to enter into land of your dreams.
Disappointments are part of life. Remember the last time when someone turned you back or left without explanation. Remember when someone you cared about did something bad to you. People change, or we were not enough careful to see their real nature. Estimation is key of good relation, so if we don’t estimate person on correct way, disappointment is just result.
You might ask yourself, why someone hurts you if you did not do something wrong?
There are few solutions:
People hurt each other because of jealousy.
You have pretty wife, expensive car, good job. Enough reasons for bad actions, for frustrated people.
People leave because of wrong expectations.
Maybe someone loves you, and you can’t give love back.
It is hard to persuade broken heart. Heart can’t hear explanations, that you can’t give your emotions for return.
People act on bad way to pull attention on themselves.
Some people are as children. If you neglect them, they will break something to pull your attention.
People fight with each other because of rivalry.
Maybe you and your friend want the same things, but only one can win. If you fight for girl or for guy, friendship is over.
Helen always thought that she is good person, good friend and good girlfriend. She tried very hard to keep good relations with people. She and Marianne were as sisters, good friends from childhood. Marianne had more success with guys, she was more sexy in that time, and Helen felt she will lose friend. All their topics were always about Marianne, about guys, clothes, her exams , her adventures. Helen was invisible, but she did not care until Marianne did not date with Kevin. Helen was in love with Kevin, but he did not know this. It was last kick to her ego and Helen started to avoid Marianne. They broke their friendship in silence, because Marianne did not care enough to ask Helen what happened.
Don’t hold on your disappointments for too long time. If you stuck between sadness and questions, you will miss other opportunities. People leave because they wish, and if someone did not offer you explanation or reason for bad act, don’t wait for him. Real love and real friendship can’t vanish over night.
Fake relations are as bubbles. They will glow and fly, but one touch with finger and all will disappear. Struggle is part of real love and real friendship. If your relation can handle fights, if that fights can shape your relation, you are on right way. When person yells at you, that is sign of care. When you don’t care, you will just turn around and go. When you care for someone, you will try to explain your reasons, why you don’t feel good . Relations are never smooth.
Disappointment has deadline if you are with right person. This is kind of test. If you are with player, disappointment is your mirror. All what you see is wrong reflection of your illusion, and when it vanish, like it never exists.
Million plans and wishes, and little time for realization. Life is short for all big dreams we wish to realize, and if we don’t use every suitable moment, we are as gamblers who lost big amount of money. There is no worse thing than gambling with time. Something gone and that moment will never come back.
Delay is enemy of every action. As much we delay more time we will spend. One day we will stand in front of wall, unable to jump over it, because it is too high. One of the ways to move in life is syndrome of last minute.
When we stand and look into our last chance, heart will beat very fast. So, this is it. Final chance to pass this exam or you will repeat year. Last chance to propose that girl or she will leave you alone. Last offer at your work, take it or leave it. Adrenaline jump very high, you are pressured so what to do now?
People react very different in the time of pressure. I am one of people who will react very positive on last chance. So, this is it, there is no return, do it or miss it forever. So if i slept until now, if i was so passive, when i see that last opportunity is running , i will press my autopilot to catch it. Some other people are frozen in this situation. That kind of pressure can block them and they cannot move. Alarm clock is too big obstacle for them and that little dose of motivation is destroyed now.
Last minute has magical influence. Aron and Edith were dating for seven years. It was never right time that he could propose her. He delayed this situation so much, that was chewing gum, and it stayed too long in his mouth, that taste was bitter. Time was passing and he was more and more far from marriage. One day Aron accidentally took cell phone from his girlfriend. She had bath and phone was ringing, so Aron answered on her call. It was male voice, and he said : “Are you her brother? I wish to speak with sweet Edith. ” Aron never felt so furious. Edith later explained him that he got new colleague at office and he wanted some tips about work from her, so they exchanged numbers. He was very clumsy and possible trouble for her work, so she decided to give him tips. Next days, Aron was witness of long conversation between Edith and her new roommate. After one week, she payed more attention on this stranger, than to his boyfriend. So Aron decided to surprise her. He bought ring and propose her , when she did not expected this at all.
– Why now? I wanted this a long time ago, but you were deaf on my wishes.
– Because i don’t want to lose you. I don’t want that some office rat jump on my place. You are my girlfriend, my future wife.
Edith laughed so much but she accepted offer. It was last minute joker for Aron, and it worked out, even she did not move little finger to rush this situation.
Last minute is a needle. You stab someone with possibility of end, that is kind of threat against people who hesitate too much. Who delayed things for a so long time, in fact he did not want realization. Now, you can ask final answer or give up from your wish. Time is cruel, you can’t bring back past days, but you can stop someone to spend your precious moments day by day.
Use last chance as your joker in the pocket. If it doesn’t give results, that is answer on your questions. There is nothing more, no hope, no expectations, no bad surprises. That is gem, set and match in this game of life.