Two people never fall in love in an equal way. You might start from the same position, but feelings will develop in different ways. One side will love less, other more. When this happens in the relation called “friends with benefits”, things are getting harder.
Although women usually ask how to keep the friend with benefit and turn him into the real boyfriend, the situation could be opposite. Sometimes, the friend with benefit wants to be your boyfriend but you don’t want this indeed.
Sounds cruel? At the start of this relation, you dealt that you meet only for sex and fun. With time, you will chill out or connect on the higher level. When the guy says to you that is over because he finds another woman or he got bored, you might think about him as the cruel player, selfish egoist or playboy. What when a woman said, there is no more fire and you can go?
Cynthia met Brian at a social network. She was the businesswoman, single and she wanted something in the middle, not boyfriend, but neither relation for the one-night stand. She was honest and told him that it will not be the classic relation. He accepted this with joy because finally, he found the woman who will not nag, make jealous scenes or ask for a commitment.
Their meetings were full of passion, he made her smile and fixed her self-confidence, because she had few relations before which broke her heart. Brian also respected her, he appeared on dates with chocolate and flowers so she did not have the feeling of the random woman in his life. The problem was, Cynthia was the ambitious lady. She was involved in few projects, and boss promised her bigger salary if she will work overtime. She wanted promotion. Brian, on other hands, lived in rented flat with the roommate and he was between two jobs and with financial debts.
Cynthia enjoyed with him but she did not see future together. She had no intention to pay his debts, also he told her about his previous marriage and alimony and it was not happy news for her. So, step by step, Cynthia wanted to get out from this.
They broke upon her request, but she wanted to keep him a the friend. She had conscience guilt, as she broke his heart. Brian left in silence and did not call her anymore.
Women could be in ungrateful positions in this kind of relations. You have the fuck buddy, and if you fall in love with him you will expect more. If you chill out from him, you will expect less. In the first example, you are the victim, in other examples you are the bitch.
Problem is, we never know on which way will some relation develop. What if passion doesn’t live here anymore? Shall we turn love into friendship and take care of the person even our feelings are dead?
What to do when you sleep with the friend with benefit, and you don’t want to continue?
Give the person time to chill out.
Don’t use rude words because you don’t know what other person feels.
Don’t jump into new relation immediately.
Tell him, you can lean on me as the friend.
Man’s ego will not accept the fact of abandoning so easy. Especially if you are friend with benefit, it could be humiliated. She had sex with you and she doesn’t want more? Aren’t you the one who should break up? What if she changes her mind? Sometimes it happens, because it is hard to draw a line between friendship and passion. If she was with you before, why not now?
Chemistry is the odd thing. Sometimes you chill out due to some reasons. You don’t see future, you are not ready for more or you simply want to be alone. Then you feel sorry because of breakup and you want again. That is why friends with benefit dance with the devil. There is no beginning and no end, this is not defined by the relation. One of you can say enough and leave, another side will wondering.
If you leave, better not to make the track, if you don’t want that your rejected friend find you.