On the same frequency as your partner

“Did you hear me?” This is basic question for any person who is not sure does someone listen to her. Skill of listening is basic of friendship and love relation, because if our partner or friend can’t focus on conversation, we are talking with ourselves.

Nobody expect that you follow other words as echo and that you repeat every detail. Also, you don’t have to close your mouth and turn into numb observer. Be silent, look into eyes of your source and later you can offer your opinion. Sounds simple? Many people don’t know difference between preaching and advises, and also they will interrupt your speech before you finish this, because they have no patience and manners.

When someone ask an advice from you, respect their dignity.

How to give good advice?

Don’t look at person from heights. You are not priest, for sure you are not God and there is no reason for underestimation. Everybody makes mistakes and next time you will be in this situation.

Don’t act like teacher. Nobody likes lessons, that remind people on school and boring teachers. Advice should be useful thing, not homework.

Don’t feel sorry for person. If you look at your friend as she is an invalid, she will hate you secretly. She needs understanding, not condolence.

Use jokes. If your advice is expressed on funny way, like ” if you die, we will meet in hell”, person will smile and feel better.

Don’t remind person that you gave them advises if they fail. Words “i told you” are not desirable. Nobody wants to feel as shit.

It is very important that your partner is person who knows how to listen

If he or she can’t understand you or if they have no time for your problems, why are you in this relation? Imagine this humiliating situation. You are talking about bad day at your work, and your boyfriend is playing game on internet or watching football match during this conversation. When you ask him about his opinion, he says : “Wow, i am at level 33 of Candy crush saga” or “look at this goal, Messi is genius”. Or, if you ask him did you do right thing, he says “yes you do” , even you talked about ways how to kill your boss. You can check his attention very easy, by asking him questions , if you feel that he is not following you.

We all know that our interests are various. Men don’t want to listen about makeup or knitting, and women don’t want to talk about football or cars. For the sake of your relation, exchange your impressions just to show him or her that you care. It doesn’t matter if you think that Messi is a jerk and if he thinks that your lipstick is similar color as clown mouth. 

Skills of listening are kind of respect, and it is not hard to use it. Just to check are you in the same frequency with your partner.


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