When I got angry, I use harsh words. I swear and yell. That is my reaction to injustice. Later, when I calm down, I read my messages and I wonder myself should I react different, calmer or sophisticated. What is that telling me? That I can’t control myself. That I exaggerated my reactions and shown my weakness.
There are things on which I am especially sensitive, my honor, my family and my dignity. I don’t like betrayal too. By showing my anger, I want to show indeed that someone took wrong actions.
Some collateral victims fall, people who stand in the middle of my conflict. A friend of friends will sometimes take sides and the result is their loss if they did not support me. Then I think, how I defeated myself by my reactions?
I turn back this movie in my head, and I think how stupid I was, should I keep my people around me in this personal war, instead of emotional blackmail?
Few things in learn, how a person might defeat herself.
Don’t shot yourself with own bullets in this case:
Don’t order people to choose a side.
Don’t tell people what they should think.
Don’t blame people because they did not involve in your conflict.
Don’t play on their loyalty, if they are loyal they will act by themselves.
Wise rival will win in personal conflict by standing in the corner. This is a sneaky player who will watch in silence and then do actions. When I used this strategy, my results were much better. Let the river flow situation was indeed on my side. I let the person insult me and to show others real face. Then I put a smile and walk with head up.
Our reactions talk about us more than we think. We drink sometimes our own poison even we are not aware of this. Someone pisses you off and you want to kill him. Killing time needs an appropriate weapon. Pick time and place. Think about arguments. Think about what could make your damage, what you can lose.
People will stand by side of a positive person. Someone who inspires you, motivates and brings you joy deserve your support. A person who drags you into her conflict is not a desirable friend. We all pick our battles, and we must have right of choice where to involve and when.