In old Greek legend Edip killed his father Laj and married with his mother Jokasta. Too much devotion accord one parent, and lack of feelings for other is basic of Edip complex. His affection toward mother is part of Freud theory , for men who seek women with the same characteristic as their mothers.
For sure you met single men who are connected with their mothers on close way. This pattern is always the same. He lives with mother, she is cooking and washing his laundry, and he can’t find woman who will take her place. Even when he finds her, his standards are so high that she gave up from him.
Dave is one of them. He has over 50 years, good job as manager in private company, he was travelling around world. His life is full of adventures with many women, but he never wanted to settle down. His mother is in the role of housewife, and other women are in the role of mistress. He feels less obligated to mother, than he should be to his potential wife. She supports his way of life, because his father died a long time ago, and she doesn’t want to feel alone. It is easier when her son lives together with her.
In this kind of relation, two persons are connected on selfish way.
Man: “I don’t want wife who complaint on everything. I don’t want to feel limits when i will go home if i stay in the club with friends. For sure i don’t want jealousy if i talk with other women.”
Mother: “I still feel important. If he gets marry, i will not be part of his life as before. I will be old annoying granny.“
Mama’s boy is not always single. He is also married or he has girlfriend, but their women live in the shadow of big authorities. Mother is role model for every future wife.
What mama’s boy wish?
She must cook good as my mother.
She can’t wear slutty clothes, my mother is an angel.
She must be educated as my mother.
She can’t embarrass me in publicity. She must be lady as my mother.
She must listen tips from my mother, about kids, house work and everything else.
Mother in law is often old school, especially if you compare her with women now days. If your mother in law is conservative lady who had only one man in her life, and if you were promiscuous wild woman, you will have problems with her. Then you can pretend that you love her attitude and that she has right, or you wish conflicts in every area.
What you can do?
Find common interests with your mother in law. She is maybe old fashioned, but she loves the same movies as you. Go in cinema with her.
Make a balance between her and yours attitude. Middle solutions are good for your peace in marriage.
Tell your husband if she became impossible. On this way, you will check his devotion toward you.
Be nice and kind with her. If it doesn’t work out, tell her honestly what you think.
Every mother is protective toward her son, but problem starts when she pokes nose everywhere.
That is why some mama’s boys will never get married and why some will get divorced. It is funny to see when some women use mothers to get certain man in her arms. Mothers are targets, even they are not aware of this. Bribe his mother, and he is half way yours. If he says : “Wow, this lunch is so great, last time i ate such meal when my mother were cooking”, victory is yours.
Now, there is a catch. If you take a role of his mother, if you will be her twin, your man will feel double pressure. He will see two nightmares with broomstick. “Be careful what you are doing”, that is usual warning to poor man, when he is going out with friends or on business journey. Now you have partner, his mom. This poor guy is only yours, because if he tries to escape, you will know whom to call.
Independent men are different, because they don’t drag tails from childhood as mama’s boys. He cares for his mother, but he has own life. When Celia involved in life of her son Marc, she was unbearable. She wanted that her son leave his wife. Marc draw a line, he said to her to back off. After all, that was his problem, not hers.
My old neighbor said very good: “If this woman is good for my son, who am i to complain? After all, he will live with her, not me. So i wish him good luck, he is big boy.”