After breakup, relation is dead. It doesn’t mean that feelings are dead. The same is with rejections. Just because someone rejected you, it doesn’t mean that you stop immediately your feelings for this person. In both cases, this is ghost relation. We are bonded by our addiction, sadness, broken ego, and it can’t have nothing with love.
Let’s suppose that you are loving person. You had success with many guys , you are picky and it gives you big choice. One day someone said no. How is possible, everyone loves you, and he said no? You keep following him, because he is the only you want.
Ghost relation is connection between subject and object. Subject is person who loves someone who said no, object is a target. This object can’t express love, so relation is one sided. Now, you will say, very simple, object will walk away and this is end. Sometimes, person gives fake hopes.
When person accepts ghost relation?
There is nobody better in the moment. Why not to enjoy in company of someone who is crazy for you?
He feel pity. “I don’t want to hurt her. ” “We can be friends, i can’t make her cry. “
Loneliness. ” I don’t love her but i don’t want to feel alone. “
Ghost relation is unfair game. You accept, but you can’t give anything for return. Let’s assume that you will marry for someone because of interest. This is your speech : “I will make love with you but i don’t want to kiss you. I can’t love you. ” Remember scene from “Casino” when Sharon Stone gets marry for Robert de Niro even she doesn’t love him. She runs in arms of her real love, later.
If you are object of ghost relation, it would be fair to say clear what you feel. Don’t wait time , it will be worse. Don’t wait perfect moment, it will never happen. If your excuses are his parents, his friends or business agreement, if you work together and he feels more for you, don’t hesitate to say what you really feel.
A woman scorned is dangerous woman. Once when woman realize that you stole her time by misleading her, she will seek revenge. I remember my friend who slept with guy , the one who did not love her. Few evenings later, she saw him with other girl. She comes in night club, took glass of juice and spill it over his face, in front of his girlfriend. It was unpleasant situation, but he deserved.
Ghost relation is act of selfishness, but from both sides. You know he doesn’t love you, what you are doing with him? You know you doesn’t love him, so you are still there?
Painful truth is stroke of real love which hits owner of your heart. Suddenly, he falls in love and he gave to other woman all what you never got. Now you see he is able for love, but not with you.