Dwell in past relation is not just sabotage of your future. Bad flash back could ruin your new feelings, and you might feel sterilized. This time i will not talk how to get over your ex. I will talk what happens after dramatic relation which eaten up your feelings. Side effects might be dangerous for your feelings, self confidence and self respect.
First i wish to mention red flags which helps to recognize your relation as destroying.
You fight with your partner and he doesn’t spare your feelings.
In this kind of conflict all is allowed. He will insult you until you faint.
He cheats you in front of your eyes and he doesn’t care what you will say.
He is embarrassing you in front of your friends and family.
He doesn’t know when is your birthday, he doesn’t celebrate holidays with you and anniversary is not something what he wish to remember.
He doesn’t care if his friends are interested for you or if they flirt with you.
Whoever was in that kind of relation will know about what i am talking about.
Maybe is understanding better if you see what happened to Gilda.
After breakup with Chase, Gilda was devastated. She could not touch or kiss guy one year, not because she had no chance. She felt frozen as iceberg, because she was dwelling in her past. Gilda was kind of passionate woman and she surrendered herself to this man, in complete. After he gone, she did not have anything to offer to other man. Friends gave her hint to other handsome and good guys, but Gilda did not feel. Her smile was lost and she was as Snow queen in fairy tale written by Hans Christian Andersen. Piece of ice stabbed her heart and she could not fall for anyone. What is funny part, Gilda did not want to get back in her previous relation. She met Chase with his new woman. All what she felt was nuisance. His new woman was older and ugly. Chase adored her, and Gilda could not manage why. Every time when Gilda thought about him, she did not feel love. She felt that Chase is disgusting guy, because he could insult Gilda and treat her as garbage, but he was melting in arms of that new, ugly woman. Her appearance killed all her feeling, but as when cancer is removed, some healthy parts gone too. Gilda could not fall in love in new guy.
Can we force new love, just because old relation is ruined? Can we open our heart because we need that desperately to forget old love? We can’t force but we might understand.
Now , you are aware of facts:
Old love is vanished. He or she will not come back.
You don’t feel regret. So, you doesn’t want to come back either.
You are empty because your heart is destroyed.
Devastated land is not dead area.
That is in fact, clean area. How is nice when you don’t drag past reminders with you. It means you are single not just by default, you are single in your heart. When new partner looks at you, he will not see reflection of someone other in your eyes. That is the most important, and emotional sterilization is just temporary.