Mabel is taking her little daughter in the market. She always did the same scene. Bunch of chocolates are in her hands and she wants to open and eat immediately. Mabel is gentle mother and she knows that little Tara will cry if she will not get her favorite candies. But her teeth are not in well condition and too much sugar is not healthy for child. So this time she said no. Tara started to scream, and she did not shut up until Mabel slapped her. She did not hit her hard but it was useful. Tara stopped to cry and her face was just grumpy, but next time she did not ask for a candy.
Patience is wonderful thing. Some people have ocean of patience and you can move their limits into the sky. Your friend came at your door every day when you came tired from work. How to reject her, she is so kind. You want to take a nap and you said to her that she came in another time, but she said she is busy later.
During life we will need large doses of patience. When you wait for your turn into market and moron in front of you is counting small coins or his master card is not valid. When you go to the dentist and old granny is there for an hour, without intention to get out. When your husband don’t want to throw garbage even it smells for a days.
What to do when your patience is over limits?
You can do things which other don’t want to do for you, alone.
Remember this when someone will ask favor from you, and don’t do it for that person, for return.
You can force person to learn on hard way.
Use aggression if you need. Violence is not the way, but sometimes is effective when other tools will not work out.
Get out from situations which makes you frustrated.
You don’t need friend who will not respect your free time, stalkers, pests who don’t understand your needs and wishes.
Use joker. Find person or occupation who will replace others.
Ok, i have no luck with this job and this guy, but there are other people who loves me and i will spend more time with them. Also i have hobbies which can make me happy, i play tennis, i play bridge and there people appreciate me, so i don’t need to spend time with boyfriend or friends who are always stubborn when i ask something from them.
It is very familiar that nice words will open every door. When kindness is not more effective and when patience is at the end, another options are in the game. Time is money, and having patience means you are wasting your time. Why wait this jerk to call you and he is always getting late? Why work at this job for a years and they can’t say even thanks for all what you do for them?
When you are treating someone with patience, you give benefits to that person. He is testing your nerves. You will see how much is easier to deal with someone else, when patience will not be even option. Someone who will do things for you without you even ask. How easier is now, when someone do special things for you, and you don’t have to spend hours and nerves to get what you want?
People are as ground. You can seed everywhere, but flowers will not grow in dry landscape.
Angels are not always how they look like. Woman with flowers in her hands and nice smile is not always person with pure heart and good intentions. As angels could be only demons in pink suit, so called innocent woman is indeed spoiled seductress.
Women will play rough games against each other when it comes time to catch real man. They will set traps for their competition, with gossips and fake friendships, just to prepare territory for their games. One of the ways how to eliminate rivals is to make damage to their reputation. Make yourself saint, and make others dirty, this is first step in this war. Naive men will fall into this spider net, because when guy has no experience, you can sell him cat in the bag and he will not notice that.
Astrid and Nicholas had nice relation until they did not start to talk about her past. He heard something about her and he wanted to check details. Astrid was honest woman so she admitted to him that she slept over 10 guys in her life. His reaction was : “My stomach can’t handle this.” His image about pure woman crashed, and he could not bear the truth.
We are all bloody under skin, so as humans we will do some sins. Some of us will hide it, some will expose that, and some will try to forward attention on others, to talk bad about others , because that is easier than clean own mess. World is not fair, so if you play fair that is not guaranteed that others will play fair for return.
If you want to fool men that you are angel, all what you need to do is next:
Smile in his presence so he will think that you are always in good mood to listen him.
Stay silent when he is mad on you, because he must have right.
Be a woman from fairy tale. Talk sweet as sugar is comes out from your mouth.
Confirm his words, you are not here to think, especially not to think different.
Stay out from fights, because this is not feminine. Ladies never debate with others. They sit in the corner during the war.
Weak, conservative and inexperienced men are mostly victims of fake saints.
Such men are not able to accept that women are not here just to please their wishes and that they are not first men in their love life. They wish to see princess and virgin from the story and often they forget that such woman doesn’t exist, except in their fantasies.
When such men reveal the truth about their favorite women, they are disappointed.
What is the truth about fake saints?
Their smile is not always kindness. Sometimes woman smile because she fooled you. Sometimes this is professional smile.
She is not silent because she afraid of you. She prepare her territory for misleads.
Her sweet words are not true words. She said this already, to many guys before you.
If she agrees with you on first sight, actually her opinion is different, but she melts because you wish to see that.
If she is not arguing, it doesn’t mean that she is peaceful. She could be hypocrite and double faced.
It is better to accept truth about woman if she tells you this in confidence, because that means she trusts you. She told you about her past because she doesn’t want to hide things in front of you. Is it better that you hear this from others?
Myriam had internet profile on social network , with lot of friends. Her smile is familiar and men considered her as angel, because she has only nice words for everyone. Then story about her jumped out, as shit from the flowers. She involved with married man, she was his mistress, and in the same time she cherished friendship with his wife. All were shocked, especially poor wife, because Myriam was so saint and pure. Her knife stabbed many in the back.
Truth is not always sweet. Men will swallow bitter pill about their women, but it depends how strong is their attitude, and which ego will allow true facts.
If you can’t stand honesty, you will live in lie. It is better that someone talk bad into your eyes, than to smile behind your back.
Secret is something hidden and we don’t want to reveal this to everybody. Now days, secrets have different meaning, because if you share secret to someone at internet, don’t be so sure that you will keep this safe.
Bertha was very surprised when her mother in law come into her house . She was so angry that she attacked Bertha in the same minute when she opened door.
– What i heard about you ? That you will divorce from my son?
All was clear, because Bertha had small argument with her husband Roy and she wrote in her Facebook status “divorced.” She wanted to show him that she is still desirable because he was adding pretty girls into his page and commented their photos on nasty way. Bertha was angry so she changed status. Even she had this status only one night , she got many private messages from worried people and some new friend requests. Also someone with bad intentions called her mother in law to tell her bad news.
Bertha invited her on coffee to explain what is going on. Her mother in law is primitive woman. She raised on village, between pigs and cows and she has no idea about social networks, she even doesn’t know to turn on computer. But, she knows one fact, that people will talk bad about her son and his wife because they will divorce. How she will explain this to relatives and neighbors?
– Don’t worry, it was only a joke. Please calm down.
– How will i calm down? You embarrassed your children, how i will go to market and look people in the eyes?
Indeed, secrets and privacy are modified on internet.
If you work at workplace with strict rules, don’t appear on social networks in provocative clothes or don’t put photos from parties. Especially don’t write name of your workplace and then gossips about your bosses. Don’t open page with your real name and your address. You want to tell the world who are you and that you are successful, but take care, not everybody will like you. Some people are malicious. For example, someone reported Lisa to her headmaster because Lisa was admin on one social forum about love problems. Lisa had big troubles to explain at work why she write on forum during work time.
When we are angry, sad, excited, even drunk, computer is good as tool to throw out feelings from ourselves. Let’s write, send messages, post photos. Later, we can regret. Someone will be hurt. Someone wants to get revenge. Some people are waiting in ambush for victims, busybodies want to dig into other lives because they don’t have own problems.
When you log in on internet, it is like you are guest on radio or television reality show. What you had for breakfast? Which sexual pose you like the most? What is your middle name? Don’t worry, everybody will find out.
Even worse, you are under virtual magnifier. Everything you said or did might have double meaning.
How to fit in? This question will be in many minds, as product of fear that society will reject you. Since childhood we are looking for friends. Girls want to associate with other girls who are popular, stylish and fancy , boys want to be part of strong team, to play football or any kind of sport and prove their importance. Even our parents will watch out, who is our best friend, is he or she appropriate.
Now we have chosen friends, but how much we are influenced by others?
How do you know that your decisions are independent, and that someone did not dig into your mind?
If you don’t care about other opinions, you will behave like this:
You will not justify your actions.
You will not apologize for your choices.
If someone mock you because you chose certain partner or certain job, you will reply properly.
If someone blackmail you to change your decision, you will stand by your attitude.
Marsha and Kevin were in long relation. Kevin had best friend Arthur, who disliked Marsha. It was very tense, because Kevin was in the middle of conflicts every time when all were together at coffee, when Arthur visited them, it was like in battlefield. Arthur had free style of life, he was often drunk, and once he slept at doormat, in front of Kevin’s house. Marsha was terrified by him because she was educated and noble woman. One day Marsha said to Kevin that she can’t stand his best friend anymore, who is unpleasent and rude , so she asked him to choose between them. Kevin said that there is no chance to turn back to his friend. He said : “I know he is not perfect, but i know him since we were kids. If you can’t deal with this, maybe you don’t belong into my life.” Also, he warned Arthur to behave himself. Marsha was angry but Kevin stayed by his decision.
Other people will often poke nose in our privacy, and everyone will feel invited to give advises, opinions or to guide us, because we don’t know how to think with our brains. This is very wrong. One human will pass many lessons during life. We are often under authorities. Parents will say to us what is wrong, teacher will tell us how to behave, boss at work will punish us if we don’t work good. During that process, we will develop our characters and we will make selections.
It is not surprise if you send one day everyone to hell. Think about what you need to be happy. Do you need your mother to call you every day? Do you need lessons from your neighbor, how to cut grass in your garden or how to make perfect lunch? Do you need advises about perfect marriage, from your best friend?
You are master of your path. Influence is not bad thing, if you have good teachers. You can learn much, but sooner or later it comes time when you need to take life in your hands.
Your parents will not choose your life partner. Also, they will not choose your job and educate your children. Some people will stay forever under other’s influences because they are too weak to decide alone. Result of this will be life under shelter. This is personal occupation, by other person. You are prisoner if you never choose by yourself.
How followers end up?
As victims of other’s beliefs. You will be guilty for something what is even not your idea. We have much examples in history, when bad leaders brought bad decisions and when crowd were following them. You can go alone toward light, or you can follow me into the dark.
Sparks are cruel tool. At the beginning two people will fall in love and they can’t explain chemical reaction between them. Why they want to rip each other clothes, why they want to kiss all the time, and why everything is less important than their love, answer is somewhere in the heart.
When this situation chills out, love is discarded, person is rejected and it could be obstacle to your future. What we can say, that all what happened wasn’t real? Or it was just magical moment with deadline?
Some men are simply promiscuous. They will get marry and once when they feel comfortable, hunter zone is again opened for them. What they need is mistress. They will find mistress, but then , after some time, mission is accomplished, and what now? They need new flesh, but how to get rid of old flesh?
Stephan is one of the bosses in high position, he works for government. He is in happy marriage, with two kids. His secretary, Alice, is sexy young woman. Once, in business trip, they involved and slept together. This relation continued and Alice started to believe that he will leave his wife. That was fake hope. Stephan soon realized that Alice is similar to his wife. Passion moments became annoying moments. Alice was ordering, complaining and nagging. She took role of wife, even she was not in position to to this. When Alice replied on important business call, without asking, Stephan got mad and broke up with her. Alice was desperate. She was stalking him, and Stephan fired her. She lost everything, and Stephan did not even apologize to her. Simply, he wanted to avoid drama and to erase her from his life. Few months later, Stephan hired new secretary, Betty. He involved with Betty , but she was not instant adventure. She was mysterious and not easy to get. She gave choice to Stephan, to leave his wife if he wants to continue with her. Stephan left his wife and kids. He really fall in love in Betty and he chose life with her.
Men will often ask, how to leave previous love , and not to hurt her? In Croatia, we would say, you can’t be fucked and fair in the same time.
When man fed up with his mistress, he is cruel, even without intentions.
What men usually do in this case?
They stop send messages.
Avoid every conversation.
They stop to call.
They find many excuses not to meet with this women.
They are constantly in rush, busy and without free time.
If you are man who wish to be fair, gentleman with good manners, if you don’t wish to hurt ex love , you should do next:
Explain in few words your reasons, why you can’t be together more.
Tell her that you don’t want scenes or scandals.
Show respect and say thanks for time you spent together.
Tell her that she deserve someone who is better for her.
When you see her , after breakup, don’t turn your head. Say few polite words.
If she will need favor from you, if she might ask you for help later, do it.
Do not underestimate her, don’t make her miserable. Especially don’t insult her.
You can find out about person many things after breakup. Even women will say, pain is the same no matter about way of breakup, it is better to say goodbye on nice way, than to be kicked out in the ass, like the last trash.
After time, things will look different. You might walk with your husband in front of your ex lover. This ex lover can talk with you, with respect. At least it will not be uncomfortable situation for you. You are someone who is respected. Maybe your husband work with your ex lover? Better that he is gentleman.
Imagine situation that you broke up on terrible way with your ex, and you did not want to leave him alone. Your present boyfriend heard roumors about you, something as “take care of her, she is insane.” This label you don’t need really.
Walk like lady if you had deal with trash. Walk like lady if you had deal with gentleman. In both cases, you can win. In first case you had no luck, and in second case your luck was with deadline.
Daily routine is silent killer. You are somewhere in the city, meeting with thousand undesirable people, their faces insult you with their existence.
Do you wish to see beggar who ask you money, drunk kid who is crawling with bottle of wine in his hand or poor old granny with vegetables in bags, asking desperately who will help her to carry her burden.
No, for sure you will wish young girl who will bring you cocktail with cheery or man with muscles who will do unforgettable massage. Or you wish to swim in the swimming pool where only you have access.
The biggest freedom is indeed financial freedom. When you don’t need tram to get on time because your driver will take you. When you don’t need to share your office with old boring hag, and wake up in 6 in the morning, to catch bus where driver will listen terrible folk music. When your neighbors will not ring on your doors in the moment you just came from work. this world which you created is much better than reality, because here you follow your own rules.
Fantasy and reality are in eternal conflict. One world you will need to survive , and other you will need to stay normal and balanced. Dreams will feed you in critical moments.
Sometimes cruel reality breaks people. They leave in mental hospitality, drink alcohol or even take drugs. Frustrations are sometimes too big and nerves can’t handle this.
I know woman who order daily pills for nerves just to handle reality. She is smoking and drinking and this cocktail of vices is her defense.
If you feel that you are tired of life, listen loud music just to block sounds of screaming kids in your neighborhood.
Each of us has own twilight zone. We can walk into the edge of reality. We should be careful. Once when you step out from safe zone, everything is possible. Maybe you win at lottery game so you will be rich and creator of your dream life. Maybe your investment can bring you more money, so you are step closer from your realization.
Walking drunk, get high or complain about your unhappy life will not get you any result. You will crawl as snail, surrounded by misty curtain , created by your unfilled wishes.
How many times you heard words : “It is just a habit, quit this. ” When we stuck in kind of trouble caused by our addiction to someone or to something, we think there is no exit.
Bad friends, bad lovers, bad job? You are overweight, too shy or you can’t find friends?
Bad habit is part of every problem which should be changed. In the beginning is fear, in the middle is chaos but a the end is fascination. That is how i think when i changed some things in my life.
Bad friends were falling as domino, one by one, even just before some times i was thinking i can’t live without them. Ex boyfriends , some i could not imagine life without them, are past today. I can’t remember that story which included them.
How changes affect on us?
Feeling powerful. Finally, your life is in your hand.
Feeling stronger. Now, you are not a toy, you are person who will decide about you.
Feeling independent. Now, others will not take your life in your hands.
Feeling happy. You won over your fear and it makes you self confident and happy.
Feeling brave. At least, you develop guts.
If you stuck in the same movie with the same actors, the end will be familiar to you. You will live in the same day again and again. Even you will wonder that you are cursed, because same bad things are happening to you all the time.
Try something different. This is happiness in empty area. Now you step on into area where you did not know what is happening. You did not visit this area before. As beginner’s luck in cards or gamble, this change might bring positive result to you. Now you are clean of poisons, judgments, you are filtered and illuminated. This is the biggest motivation you could get.
Arthur is famous as very hasty man. His rage is worse than flame, he destroys everything on his way. One day he returned earlier from business trip. His wife had unknown male guest and before she had chance to say anything, he got mad and smacked him into face . He was shocked, until his mouth were bleeding, he explained that he is new colleague from work and that they work at common project. Damage was here, and Arthur regret his action, but this man never visited them again.
It is easy to get angry. If you let your emotions to lead you, you are in trouble.
The way of anger and rage is full of thorns. You can hit someone who is stronger than you, he can sue you or his friends can make pancake from you. Life is not cartoon and when you get up things cannot be fixed. If you feel large amount of rage, if you act like fury, find alternative way to chill out. If you need to break glasses, do it in your house, when nobody is watching this, or hit into punching bag. Your anger is boiled water, and bubbles are around you, ready to make a flood.
If you are silent, calm , if you use ignorance, you will not lose.
An opposite, your view will be more clear, finally you give chance to your brain to think about. Instincts are hasty, if you do actions accord your feeling in one moment, you will lose. Yes how much i want to strangle this girl who try to flirt with my boyfriend, but i will not give her a credit. She doesn’t exist, and if she wish to prove an opposite, my mind will bring calm decision.
The best revenge is cold meal.
Put your opponent on pending time. Until someone is waiting your next move, you will get advantage. The best methods are similar as in chess game. Wait until you move your king, start with pawn. Protect your queen, don’t go naked into battlefield. Save your best ways for the end. In the moment when your opponent think that game is over, you will stand up from the floor and fight back. This will be your victory, because you gave chance yourself to calm down.
Every woman was once a little girl. Naive child can swallow everything, and elders are here to teach her life lessons. That is how Nancy had distorted vision about love, when she adopted knowledge by her grandmother. Her granny lived in harmonious marriage with grandfather and they stayed together for a forty years. Nancy dreamed about such husband, who will love and respect her forever.
Above all, Nancy got next lessons:
He will love you as you are. So, you don’t need makeup and fancy clothes.
Right guy is chosen for you by destiny. His name is written in the stars.
Everybody find somebody at the end. For everyone exist someone.
Be good and listen to your husband, so he will return you on the same way.
The right one will change himself just for you.
As teenager, Nancy fall in love in Simon. She went on first date in simply shirt, without makeup and with stain on her trousers. Simon laughed so much when he saw her, and they were dating because she made him smile. But when Nancy continued to wear her casual clothes even in front of his parents, he called her messy girl. She gave him sign, that she doesn’t care for herself, so he was not obligated to care for her too.
Next boyfriend was Raphael. Nancy met him in front of night club, when she was vomit after she drink too much beer. She believed that it was hint of destiny, because he puke in another corner. Their relation was trade of alcohol and competition in sickness. When Raphael went to emergency one Saturday, Nancy realized that it is not gift of fate, it was only punishment.
When she was thirty, she got married for Paul. She was good wife, and she accepted all what Paul asked from her. He was businessman and she was constantly cooking dinners for his friends, because he wanted to introduce her as kind of Stepford wife. Always in nice skirt, with tied hair and eternal smile on her face, Nancy was his personal servant. Paul left her because of his business partner Adele, they involved during business meetings.
Now Nancy is divorced and alone. Her grandmother died a long time ago, but Nancy realized that old wisdom doesn’t work in new age. She was constantly chasing a wind, and that wind blown her into unknown direction.
She made an important conclusion, that it is not necessary to stick with someone who doesn’t want to do things for her. Love is not one sided feeling, and for mutual relation both sides are participants. It is not true that everyone will have happy end , because world is full of single people who never found their partners, because of many different reasons.
Until you are in the game, there are still chances for you. It is not the same if you spent life between personal walls or if you collect some negative experiences. Some people will finish alone, but they will have story behind themselves to talk about, to remember that once they were happy.
Granny did not tell her that she must to jump in the water if she wants to learn swimming. If you constantly use swim belt, you will never swim alone. Also, love is not fair play, and if you play accord rules and blocks, it is not guaranteed for good result. When you feel that you stuck in blind alley, change your strategy and forget all what your grandmother teach you. You are responsible for yourself and nobody else will save you, so turn your brain when your heart start to beat faster. Love through granny’s glasses looks different now days, with some updates and changes.