Did you ever find yourself in the middle of nowhere, even you date with someone? Hank is one of the guys who stuck in long relation. He feels unhappy because this relation doesn’t fill his needs, but he has no strength to get out from this. When his best friend Linda asked him why he can’t be alone, he replied: “I need someone to hold on.” Fear of loss and loneliness are basic elements of ruined relations because people will stay in them even they look like abandoned houses. These are the type of relations which doesn’t exist indeed, they are only walls for protection.
If we talk about love statuses, we can find interesting information about people who are neither single, neither taken. This is kind of vacuum between love and hate, where two partners hold on each other, even they are aware that things will not work out.
Here are some stories which I heard randomly, and it can be related to “not single – not taken” statuses.
“I have a neighbor, he is handsome and busy, and I like him. He comes to me at dinner, I care about him when he is drunk and sometimes we have sex. But we are not in relation.”
“I and my ex-wife live in the same house. Officially, we are divorced, but we can’t deal with the property. So until court solves this issue, we live together, even I did not touch her for a year.”
” I am in virtual marriage. Yes, you can laugh to me. Indeed I have wife and children, they grow up, but they all don’t care about me. So I find a young girl at the social network, we are together every day at Skype and WhatsApp and I feel happy with her. So we decided to get married on the internet.”
” I live with my mother but I spend every day in the house of my girlfriend. We will not get married, my mother is cooking and washing my laundry, and my girlfriend is here to make me smile. I don’t want to be alone.”
What real relation needs?
Obligation. Some people are irresponsible, so they don’t want commitment.
Fidelity. You need to focus on one person. If that person can’t fill your whole heart, you will hard decisions about the relation.
Division. The relation is deal. What is yours, that is mine and opposite? If you can’t share anything with another person, you don’t want to be in relation.
Stability. You can’t change opinion every day, about your future. You must be sure about your feelings.
When you are in the middle of romance, you are someone who is half hungry. You will taste the cake, but you will not eat all. You don’t want to stay hungry, but you are not ready for a big bite.
Vacuum romances are stories on halfway. What is the purpose? You will realize what you need and what you don’t need. This person is maybe your experimental rabbit, someone who will take you into the main road, but the rest you will do alone.
You can ask yourself questions to test your real feelings. Can I live without her? If he leaves, can I handle this or he will terribly miss me?
Method of elimination will give the best answers. Maybe you don’t know what you want, but if you eliminate unnecessary things you will get an answer what is really important to you.