We wish to share some secrets with others, but lack of trust will stop us in the moment. Maybe we feel ashamed and insecure. Maybe we can’t handle expression of other’s faces when we say shocking story. Or, we afraid of boomerang effect, that all what we say can be used against us.
In past times friends were gathering to share problems. We would drink coffee and talk about bad ex partners or hard exams. We were gossiping teachers and bosses. Material is now the same, but place for share moved on. We share our secrets in chat rooms.
Word “trust” has new dimension. That is not situation when you look someone familiar in the eyes. You can open camera, but you are looking in the eyes of strangers. Also you don’t know who is that person, from where is coming from, what is her past. This sounds freaky, isn’t it? If stranger asked you, before 10 years, to tell him story of your life, you would label him as idiot. Now, we are sharing our stories between strangers with nicknames, and that is normal.
Why people love so much internet chat rooms or inbox?
Effect of mystery. It is cool to talk with someone who doesn’t know you. You can lie about yourself and person can’t know the truth.
Safety. He is far away and he will not come at your door. Unless you give him address.
Attention.Finally someone is listening you. You have no attention from your friends, colleagues, relatives, but stranger with nickname is listening your problems.
Feeling of love.You might feel loved. Someone is talking with you whole day, send you messages, and your day is passing between computer monitor and phone. Otherwise, you would cry in dark angle of your room.
Brooke works at office . She is civil officer and her day is covered with calls and papers. All around her is boring, speaking about her office mate who is numb and introvert, until hysterical boss. Brooke found her comfort in chat room. She is talking with Murat, awesome man from Turkey. Her time is passing so soon with him, because everything what he says is different and interesting. Another country, another habits and another culture. Also, Brooke feels special with him, he is listening what she has to say.
People will say that we became strangers when internet appeared. An opposite, internet took place because we treated each other as strangers. Internet did not separated people, because people were lonely before. Imagine this situation. Person x is coughing at office for a half hour, and nobody cares. Unless person collaps and die, nobody will ask you do you need help or medicine. Boss will ask you did you finished your work for today. If you wish to get out because you don’t feel well, you will need licence for exit. Colleagues will have noses in their job, and they will be angry because your coughing is interrupting their work. Strangers in chat rooms will ask you how you feel and they will give you advice.
Strange fact is, when we are enough far way from each other, we start to care more. Distance will break routine, and we will start to ask for other people. We did not notice that our colleague change her hairstyle, but we noticed new profile picture.
Special part of this problem is human character. Bohemian people will hardly fit in. We are not all made for social rules. We don’t want to associate in common lunch in business restaurant. The truth is, reality is limited.
When you are in virtual space, you are totally free. You can delete and block. You can pick with whom you will talk. You will turn off computer when you wish. Well, if you sit in business restaurant with your colleagues, you are not so free. You can’t get up from the table just like that, because someone said something unpolite to you. There are your office mates. Yes, they are assholes and you can tell them open, but other day all will gossip you. Maybe you can lose job. In chat room, you can flag person or simply delete your account. Then you will walk away where you wish.
The biggest freedom starts when we are not aware of obligations. In this case, we don’t have stone in our stomach. We are not obligated to be in internet, but we wish to be. Even it looks that we are slaves or addicted, internet has special way to keep us together on one place. That is reason why strangers are now in our workplaces and neighborhood, not in chat rooms.
Someone , somewhere cares about you more than your colleagues next door.