It is hard to stand up after defeat and bad experience. Also, this make you as easy target for gossips. Someone brags about you to your friends and it is not always pleasant to hear. Every smart person will create own opinion and use brain to check the fact. But, others may be suspicious and you can lose their trust.
As much we are familiar with someone, others will have less influence on our perception. Nobody can persuade you that your sister or mother is bad, because you live with them and that is your blood. Also you will cover your ears if someone talks bad about your husband.
Well, what will be your reaction if you hear bad things about person you don’t know well?
It depends about background of this situation.
Who is your source?
Did you hear something similar before?
Did you hear from more people the same thing?
New people may be refreshment in our life, but also this is risk factor. New girl at your workplace, new neighbor, new man in your life. Who are they and from where are they come from?
Norman heard much bad things about his new girlfriend. Boys talked that she is easy, and girls gossiped her as bad friend who is stealing other’s lovers. Despite of all, Norman gave her chance and she did not betrayed him. Norman just gave her trust and she felt obligation to return him on equal way. Later, she explained bad stories about her, she just involved with wrong people. Norman pressed this right buttons. He was indeed her inspiration and she never regret to give him chance and let him into her life.
When we give access to someone new , we will ask these questions:
Am i fool? She will screw me, i can suppose that.
Can i effort myself to suffer again?
How can i handle more pains?
Life is as house, so if we close all doors, there will not be more visitors. No matter how much pains you had, your heart should not be locked. Leave this small piece which is not destroyed yet, to someone who will deserve this.
Or you will suffer, as Gordon.
Gordon is familiar as distrustful man. He is indeed paranoid. Every woman is potential threat. So, he thinks that woman will steal him money, cheat him and leave him, because women are created to hurt his fragile heart. His mother spoiled him, because he was her first child. Later, Gordon saw that other women are not ready to please to all his wishes, and he stayed disappointed in life. Then he met Jasmine. She really loved him, but Gordon left bad impression from the start. He heard from someone that Jasmine cheated his ex husband and it was enough to woke up his doubts. As much Jasmine tried to deserve his trust, Gordon should not get rid of past shadows. So, his behavior made her to leave him.
Our past experience should not be obstacle in the way of our future. Imagine that you travel in unknown country, and you read about criminals in local newspaper, so you will expect that someone will rob you or kill you during your journey. Every man with grumpy face will be considered as possible murderer.
Once, when you finish with past, don’t compare your previous sadness with new situations. Don’t make new seed of doubts, without real reasons. There is no need to blow on cold. What happened behind your back is not your business. You and your past split a long time ago. If someone reminds you on past times, walk away from that person. Surround yourself with those who are able to look forward. It is better to run and fall, then to stand in one place, frozen as snowman.