Why are relations from a comfort not good to get over someone?


Space between the breakup and the new relation is still unfilled. You think about your ex, but he is not coming back and now new guy is in the game.

Sometimes we need comfort, tight hug, and shoulder for crying. We are weak and savior is here to rescue us.

The problem is when we do not fall in love, we are just grateful. New guy in our life, he spread hands to catch us, he falls in love, but we are cold and unready. 

Old saying recommended: if you want to heal from previous love, find new love. Like, put a new safe bandage on this wound. What if we hurt someone in this attempt to forget?

Sylvia was broken after relation with Richard. He left her because of a younger woman, and she was in pieces. She did not go out for months. Brian was beside her, to make a comfort because he knew her from childhood, they were neighbors and he was “man for all.” She leaned on him in every trouble. She wanted human touch now, soft kisses, smiles and passion, all that she had with Richard. 

Brian loved Sylvia a long time ago, but he waited for her to be single. He could not interfere in her relation, but when she had breakup he was so happy like his deep prayers realized finally. Sylvia accepted his offer for dating, to turn this friendship into love relation. 

Soon, she acted like a spoiled brat. Nothing was good enough for her. She wanted to make new Richard from Brian, he was her punching bag. When Brian said “I love you”, Sylvia replied, “thank you.” She did not give love back. After some time, she makes a wish to spend the night with Brian. She wanted sex, and Brian wanted to please her. When he started to kiss her, she pushed him away. She saw that wall, Richard face in front of them. Richard is gone, but still, he was in every corner of her life. 

If we did not get over the previous partner, it is wrong to start something new. 

Some time of adjustment, the pending phase will be more practical. Find out what makes you happy. Better buy a new dress than find a new partner. Clean yourself from poison inside you. If you rush in a new relation, you can hurt someone who is innocent. Simply, that is a chain of unhappiness and you are a member of this chain. Someone hurt you, now is your turn to hurt somebody else. That someone must pay, does it matter who is he? Heart and ego must regenerate. 

You have zero situation. Now you feel even worse. You are not just a victim, you are a sadist. Are you better than your former boyfriend?

Partner for comfort is not a partner for love. Being someone comfort is not grateful position. You are just passenger in this relation. You are traveling with a free ticket, an unknown destination. When your ship is gone, you will stay alone again. 


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