When someone accepts you as you are, with your natural characteristics and principles, that person care about you. You don’t need to be perfect or different, all you need is just to be real you. It sounds very simple, but it is not easy to find person who will recognize real you. Life is full of situations when we will be forced to hide our real personality, at least until storm pass.
When we are playing roles?
Every workplace has own rules and if you wish to fit in, your skills will be focused how to survive. You will learn fake smile, sweet words and smarmy behavior, even that is not real you.
When someone introduce you to his parents and relatives.
Now, you will be an actor. Can you tell to mother of your boyfriend that you changed guys as socks before you met her son? No, you can’t , so you will be innocent, kind flower who discovered life in the moment when you met him.
In politician groups and circles. You want to be candidate on next elections? You wish that people vote for you? If you are hasty, aggressive and troublemaker, people will not trust you. But, why to tell the truth? Now you wear nice business suit so you can act role of gentleman.
Sometimes you will not be sad because someone died. Especially if that is your boss or mother in law, you will feel relief if they made your life bitter. What you will do? Cry and wipe fake tears, make sad face and give condolence to their families.
At business meetings.
Now you are pretending that you are listening, that you are so fascinated with some ideas or projects. In fact, you can’t wait, when this will be finished? You will not say that you get bored. You will say that it was so useful meeting and then is time to ask questions, to show interest.
Some situations are appropriate for playing roles. That is not hypocrisy, that is just survival. Your mask will protect your interest, but also on that way you are protecting others, you are not embarrassing them, and all are happy.
If you need to pretend in your free time, that is problem. You have special person in your life and she doesn’t like real you? Now you can’t reveal your real face, that mask will be with you forever. Maybe you need to die inside, for the sake of your partner.
Problem in human nature is in expectations. It is nice to see happy and kind face , but truth is somewhere else. We can adopt some patterns of behavior for some occasions, but we are not robots, and this schedule will have failures.
The key of happiness is in acceptance of others imperfections. Our kindness has limits, as our patience. Every person knows when is time to show real, naked truth, and when is time to hide this bomb. If we don’t have understanding, this bomb will explode in unexpected moment. Then everybody could ask, who are you and how they did not see this before. That hypocrisy was on their way, but they skipped over it.