Sometimes we can’t handle problems alone. Even the strongest person will need a shoulder for the cry or just a hug, as a sign that everything will be better. If you are a woman, you will need a double dose. We are sensitive creatures and even we don’t want to admit it, sometimes we need a corner for the cry.
When you feel as the whole world is against you, when your life is expressed only in black color, you will need support. Our friends, sisters, brothers, parents and our beloved husbands or wives are our shelters. We expect comfort from them because they are in our hearts.
Dana came from work, exhausted and angry. She cried, not because of grief, he was angry because at her workplace was the huge injustice. Her office mate is smoking and nobody wants to act against her, and Dana is choking every day in a cloud of cigarette. At the end of work time, they had fight and Dana almost slap her. It was the very ugly scene at the office, but necessary. So Dana wanted the support of her husband Dylan. He talked with her, but there were no emotions in his voice. He talked about behavior at the workplace, about holes in law system, and the general conclusion was that life is a shit. She did not get hug or kiss. Later he turns on the television and it was an end of the conversation. She was even more furious. She went on Skype and talked with her virtual friend Boris from Moscow. Suddenly, stranger understood all that she wanted to say. He did not use many words, but she makes her laugh with some jokes. She felt close to him, closer than to Dylan.
When we talk about our personal problems, is our beloved partner always the right choice for conversation?
When you spend every day with one person, argues are unnecessary. He is also tired, exhausted, maybe unhappy. So, some stranger will have more energy to comfort you. At least, he is more objective, and if he says wrong words you will not yell at him. You can close camera to finish conversation.
What when our support is missing? When Louise lost a virginity, she said about it with her sister Linda. Linda had a breakup with a boyfriend and all that she said was:”So, big deal.” Louise was disappointed, but she tried to understand that circumstances were not good to share her secret. Even, she always remembers how she could not share her first love experience with sister.
Talking about other problems will help to forget ours. I always think, if I can help someone with advice, my existence is not useless. I can’t help myself, but maybe I can help others so this is not in vain. Maybe, one day it will turn back to me for good. Of course, I will always think who is the person worthy of my help. I don’t want to involve in something that is not my business or to get damage from this.
You are a good support if you are objective. It is not necessary that you put your hand in a fire and get burnt. You can tell the person about self-respect, about positive views of some situation or just to make someone smile. Just don’t feel sorry because this is an opposite effect.
Support is feeling that you can lean on someone. That person will be your right hand when you can’t anymore. She will help you to get up. But, in the end, you will deal with your problems alone. Nobody will get dirty for you.