character · crises · drama · ego · friendship · gossip · illusion · psychology · relations

Why some men fall under influence of their friends?

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Mature person has strong attitude and ability to make own decision. Adult man will pick woman accord his taste and wishes, and he will not be influenced by friends or family. Unfortunately, some men stay childish and immature during whole life, and their decisions are products of other influences.
We can recognize them since childhood. Small kid is afraid of stronger boys, so he will act smarmy toward street leaders. He needs protection from big guy who will be his brother. In his company he feels pleasant and safe. Don’t bite hands which is feeding you is his favorite quote, so he will do everything for return. This association is product of weakness, Small guy could not be popular between girls without help of this Big guy.
That happened with Nathan. He was average boy with average face, slim and short, so guys teasing him from childhood. He was not midget, but in company of guys who were copies of Van Damme, he felt like unprotected girl. So when his neighbor Harlan start to date with Lena, the most sexy girl in his neighborhood, Nathan could not fight for her. She was his secret love, but he never confessed his feelings to her, instead this he made friendship with Harlan. He was leader and Nathan was slave, guy who will buy cigarettes and lend money, depends of occasion. When Nathan met Laura, things changed, because Laura was stubborn girl and she made decision by herself. She rejected few tough guys from the street, she wanted to be with Nathan. But, as couple, they disagreed about lot of things. Nathan was weak, toy boy, and Laura did not like it. He called her devil lady, because she was hasty and fearless and often in conflicts with others. After few months Nathan broke this relation, she made mess in his peaceful life and he decide to leave her.
When Nathan saw Laura in conversation with Harlan, after one year of their breakup, he start to feel jealousy. Everybody in this company liked Laura, she had sharp tongue and they considered her as very exciting girl. They did not met her before because Nathan was always hiding her, from fear that she will make drama. Now, he saw that he was wrong and coward. Later Harlan told him that he is idiot to let go such interesting girl. Nathan wanted to talk with her in private. He asked for another chance.
Laura said to him:
So meanwhile you got guts? Or your big friend said to you how to respect me? This is very sad my dear. 
 
– Please i don’t like fights. I like normal women, normal talk.
 
– Really? Then go to find normal woman, what are you waiting for?

Nathan realized that he lost his chance forever. Laura wanted just understanding but he was too big coward and too addicted of other opinions. His small life was garden with flowers and it was no place for tiger there. He did not know that Laura also need love , but she could not change her hot temper because of him. She loved him and he hurt her by his ignorance, but he could not realize that, because he was too busy with his fears. What will other’s say and how he will risk with that girl, one day someone could smack him because of her.

Old Latin proverb said: similar similis gaudet.

Similar people with similar attitudes and interests will find each other on every level. When two persons are very different it is hard to find common language. Passion in the beginning, but conflicts at the end will make this relation impossible to survive. Someone will give up and this is end. The biggest obstacle is disability of own thinking. If you need that others confirm your choice , you are pathetic. At the end you will share life with that person, not your friends, relatives or family.

Weak person will always need own guardian angel. That kind of person is insecure in own existence and he needs protection of someone with bigger power. Sometimes, that angel will lead him in unknown direction, and he will fall into identity crises.
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