The basic point of every fairy tale is magic stick . If you are beautiful fairy who holds this , you can turn frog into prince, poor guy into rich guy and bad guy into good guy. That dream sounds as realization of your hopes, and some women still make fantasies to change their boyfriends or husbands. “If he could change toward my wishes, i would have easier job.” In reality, it doesn’t works , because you can’t change guy without losing his personality. Maybe he listened you and did some changes accord your wishes, but he is not the same guy you met. Now you have business with kind of zombie, lobotomized man who is not the one you loved.
Every man is made of kind of buttons. If you press his positive buttons, you will be in harmony with him. If you press negative buttons all the time, your relation is more tragedy than romance. On this way we can explain why the same man is so good accord some women, and why other women can’t stand him. Understanding and accepting is key of love, so if you love wild guys, you will accept that he needs time to be alone with himself, even to runaway for a short to find himself again. If you use leash to slow him down, you will lose him.
Two biggest nightmares of every woman are:
1. guy i love will not give me love back
2. guy i don’t like will follow me everywhere and i will not get rid of him
If you mix this two stories in the same time, it will be black comedy. On one side, you fall for guy who never noticed you, and on the other hand, guy you don’t wish to see is always on your back. If you think that you can change situation, to force guy to fall for you, or to chill out guy not to fall for you, that is wrong way. This is trap and the best way for you is to escape from confusing situation.
Relax, it is not all black.
You will see how Brenda learnt from this two situations.
Brenda wanted Kevin. In this situation, Kevin was indeed on half way. He wanted Brenda, but sometimes. Brenda wanted serious relation and commitment, and she was very persistent . She called him on phone, she sent thousand messages and e-mails, she did everything to sabotage his relations with other women. At the end, Kevin runaway from this situation. He felt as prisoner, without space to decide.
Cole wanted Brenda. Now Brenda felt on her skin what happens when stalker loves you. Cole was her colleague and she was working in the same office with him. She could not talk with others without his presence, he poke nose in her work, and every lunch pause he was on her back. For the first time, Brenda saw herself in the mirror. She understood better how Kevin felt. But it was too late.
When love is not mutual, you are in relation with zombie.
No matter are you the one who doesn’t love, or your beloved doesn’t love you, this connection is forced bond.
Try to make love with someone without feelings, you will hate yourself next morning.
Try to say i love you without spark in your heart, you will dislike yourself .
Imagine yourself in tunnel. You are walking slowly, and on the other side is your love. If you love him, and if he loves you, this meeting will be hilarious. Your heart will beat, you will lose breath, your cheeks will blush. Even you will talk as stammerer. That is love, silly and logical in the same moment.
Well, if you don’t love your boyfriend, or if your boyfriend doesn’t feel the same, you will make this relation as summary of formalities.
Fake smile, kind words, hug without heart beats. Sad situation, but some couples are that kind of zombies. They are together for wrong reasons, because they think to change situation at better point.
Artificial flowers can’t smell and grow. The same is with relation without sparks. If chemistry doesn’t exist, it will not appear from somewhere. In this case, your relation is only piece of paper.