When you are chosen, you have certain benefits. Someone is eliminated because you are chosen. Someone is in the second place because you took the first one. Someone is in the background because you are sitting in the first line.
We all like to be chosen by someone or for something. If I ask you why you are chosen, you will say that you deserve it. You deserve a promotion, you deserve a proposal, you deserve the crown. If you are chosen by someone’s free will, this is your privilege.
What happens when you are not chosen one? You wanted to be someone’s friend but you were rejected. You wanted to date with this special person but he/she refuses your offer.
How you will accept the word NO, depends on your maturity and your attitude. If you accept this quick, without questions, you are free to go forward. For me, it has no sense to insist if someone did not choose me. The world is big, full of people who want to be my friends and if someone did not see my qualities I will not explain my values.
The confusion happens when a person did not give clear signs that she did not choose you.
Hypocrites or conformists love to play double games, because they wish that everyone like them, so they will build a space for people who are not their friends, but who will be here like a backup, a replacement, in the case that the first choice gives up or move forward.
Here are signs that a person did not choose you, even you did not get clear NO:
You offered your phone number and a person claims he forgot to type it.
You invited someone to a party but he went with someone else, without notifying you.
Two people are talking about their plans in your presence, but they did not invite you with them.
Someone invited you to the date when the first choice rejected the offer, and you found it later.
I will say you, it doesn’t matter if you are not a chosen one, but it matters to show your attitude and your character.
Don’t accept pieces of cake.
Don’t be here when someone who hesitated chooses you.
You can ask a person, why he needs you after so long time, why he did not notice you before.
Say no because saying yes means that you waited in a line.
Some people think that they are better than others. I rejected people in my life, for many reasons, but I never thought that I am worthier of them. I did it because I felt unpleasant in their company or because we have nothing in common or I already made my preferences.
Remember your childhood, when children sabotage your birthday party when they play with dolls without inviting you and when they mock you because your parents are not rich. Some people stayed at this level, they can’t solve problems like adults.
For sure every one of you was in the situation when you come to the coffee bar, and your friend is saying: “But, my people are not here. “
Why is necessary to fit in, to be chosen by the same people all the time? If you are not a chosen one, it gives you the freedom to try something different. To meet a stranger. To date with the awesome guy. To find another job.
If you look from another perspective, it really doesn’t matter if you are not a chosen one.