We wish to share some secrets with others, but a lack of trust will stop us at the moment. Maybe we feel ashamed and insecure. Maybe we can’t handle expression on other’s faces when we say shocking story. Or, we afraid of a boomerang effect, that all that we say can be used against us.
In past times friends were gathering to share problems. We would drink a coffee and talk about bad ex-partners or hard exams. We were gossiping teachers and bosses. The material is now the same, but a place for share moved on. We share our secrets in chat rooms.
Word “trust” has a new dimension. That is not the situation when you look someone familiar in the eyes. You can open the camera, but you are looking in the eyes of strangers. Also, you don’t know who is that person, from where is coming from, what is her past. This sounds freaky, isn’t it? If a stranger asked you, before 10 years, to tell his the story of your life, you would label him an idiot. Now, we are sharing our stories between strangers with nicknames, and that is normal.
Why people love so much internet chat rooms or inbox?
The effect of mystery. It is cool to talk with someone who doesn’t know you. You can lie about yourself and a person can’t know the truth.
Safety. He is far away and he will not come to your door. Unless you give him the address.
Attention. Finally, someone is listening to you. You have no attention from your friends, colleagues, relatives, but a stranger with a nickname is listening to your problems.
Feeling of love. You might feel loved. Someone is talking with you the whole day, send you messages, and your day is passing between the computer monitor and phone. Otherwise, you would cry in the dark angle of your room.
Brooke works at the office. She is a civil officer and her day is covered with calls and papers. All around her is boring, speaking about her office mate who is numb and introvert, also the hysterical boss. Brooke found her comfort in the chat room. She is talking with Murat, the awesome man from Turkey. Her time is passing so soon with him because everything that he says is different and interesting. Another country, another habit, and another culture. Also, Brooke feels special with him, he is listening what she has to say.
People will say that we became strangers when the internet appeared. An opposite, the internet took place because we treated each other as strangers. The Internet did not separate people because people were lonely before. Imagine this situation. The person x is coughing at the office for a half hour, and nobody cares. Unless a person collapses and die, nobody will ask you do you need help or medicine. The boss will ask you did you finished your work for today. If you wish to get out because you don’t feel well, you will need a license for the exit. Colleagues will have noses in their job, and they will be angry because your coughing is interrupting their work. The strangers in chat rooms will ask you how you feel and they will give you advice.
The strange fact is, when we are enough far away from each other, we start to care more. The distance will break a routine, and we will start to ask for other people. We did not notice that our colleague change her hairstyle, but we noticed a new profile picture.
A special part of this problem is a human character. Bohemian people will hardly fit in. We are not all made for social rules. We don’t want to associate with a common lunch in the business restaurant. The truth is, the reality is limited.
When you are in virtual space, you are totally free. You can delete and block. You can pick with whom you will talk. You will turn off the computer when you wish. Well, if you sit in a business restaurant with your colleagues, you are not so free. You can’t get up from the table just like that, because someone said something unpolite to you. There are your office mates. Yes, they are assholes and you can tell them openly, but another day all will gossip you. Maybe you can lose a job. In the chat room, you can flag a person or simply delete your account. Then you will walk away where you wish.
The biggest freedom starts when we are not aware of obligations. In this case, we don’t have a stone in our stomach. We are not obligated to be on the internet, but we wish to be. Even it looks that we are slaves or addicted, the internet has a special way to keep us together in one place. That is the reason why strangers are now in our workplaces and neighborhood, not in chat rooms.
Someone somewhere cares about you more than your colleague’s next door.