I forgive you – that sounds nice. Suddenly, you are a fragile person, ready to forgive other’s mistakes. Also, you are merciful and you don’t remember bad things. The main question is, to whom you will forgive?
Who are people who will have more credits from you, and when you will say enough?
At first sight, you will forgive your husband, mother or sister because they made your life bitter from time to time. The family is important and blood is not water. When stranger acted bad toward you, will you have the same standards? I don’t think so.
We accept people in our life because friendship is precious value, and to share things with people is much better than to stand alone. Sometimes, people will use our affection in a bad way. Trust is not placed without a bottom so it will come the day when you will lose patience. You will cut off this person from your life because he abused your confidence.
How to behave with new people in our life?
They must earn trust step by step.
If they are not ready to give and they just take, be cautious what you share with them.
Don’t give them benefits until you are not sure in their loyalty.
Absolutely, a random person which I met in the street is worthy of my greetings, but I would not do favors for him or her because we are not close friends. That girl I met before a few months, but she cannot compare with my sister. I can forgive my sister if she said something wrong, but if my new friend treats me in a bad way, I will not have nerves for this. I don’t owe anything to people who were bad at first sight, because is shown them in their real light.
The especially sensitive area of forgiveness is at work. We work with people which we mostly don’t choose. If you have a private firm and chose your business partner that is your responsibility so for sure your standards will be different.
What when your roommate at work do something bad to you, will you forgive?
It depends on the next elements:
How big is the damage which the person made?
Is it possible to remove consequences or to correct mistakes?
Will you have a guarantee that it won’t happen again?
When you reject to forgive, you can expect that person will play the role of victim and you will be considered a bad one. In this case, stand by your attitude.
Selena reported her roommate Jane for smoking because she warned her many times not to do this during work time, in their common office. Jane stopped with this bad habit but she is now silent and they don’t talk anymore. Selena heard from people that Jane blamed her for the bad atmosphere at the workplace, even Selena tried to talk about the problem.
Marcus cheated his girlfriend and she rejected to forgive him because she felt hurt and embarrassed. Now Marcus blames her for being cold toward him.
Forgiveness is a wheel which is spinning in many directions. Everyone will think, we deserve forgiveness, we are people from flash and blood.
The truth is, we must earn respect and loyalty first, then we can ask for forgiveness. That is simply the background of a good relationship.
When a person offers you only empty promise ” I will not do it again”, this is not enough.