Book and review

 

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Recently i wrote book about outsiders, cause i made group at Facebook and it inspired me to write something about this phenomenon. When i created group, i got requests of many people, and some of them thought that they will chat there cause they felt lonely. Program in their head was totally wrong, cause i had no intention to open dating site and chat service. I wanted people who think out of standards, who see beyond social conventions and who are able to make progress. So all these loners, pests and rigid people i rejected.

I don’t know how someone can get an idea that outsider is lame creature who beg for friendship, relation, attention? So i wrote a book to explain my view.

In this book i got awesome review from British author Patricia McDonald .

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By Pat McDonald
Oct 12, 2017
This is a book to make you think. I found myself pondering introspectively about my childhood and developmental years. Whilst it reinforced some of my beliefs about myself, it made me reassess others; it even made me look again at why I took the path to become a bullying activist during my working life. The author has an extraordinary insight for one so young and a rare understanding of human behaviour. Having just discovered the truth that in hardship you discover just who your friends are, to read it here hits home. I thought I had friends until two years ago and a brain tumour was discovered; it still amazes me that only one person has come back since I survived and all the others disappeared. They say the ‘Truth will set you free’ – sometimes it is hard to take! This is well worth reading. I heard today that the petition I signed to lobby Parliament for including teaching mental health in schools in the UK has just been accepted and the debate is scheduled for November 2017, one small step! Always believing myself a black sheep, and I tick so many of her boxes to confirm it, it is the why that has been challenged. You are indeed never too old to learn especially about yourself. This may have helped me sooner had I read it years ago, as it was it took me 55 years to like myself! Well done Kristina Gallo! Pat McDonald British Crime Author
Here is the book, also you can leave your review and i will be happy if you read it.
You can leave your review here:
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My e-books

DHVvyrQXcAAFkg92.99$

http://www.lulu.com/shop/kristina-gallo/lost-in-virtual-world-20-kind-of-traps-you-might-meet-on-internet/ebook/product-23288022.html

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http://www.lulu.com/shop/kristina-gallo/the-best-skills-of-seducing-for-every-woman-you-have-it-but-never-use-before/ebook/product-23304977.html

 

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Leave reviews here:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/kristina-gallo/what-does-it-mean-to-be-black-sheepguide-lance-for-outsiders-and-black-sheep/ebook/product-23348938.html

 

Click and review.

First book is for people who are addicted on internet.

Second book is for women who can’t find partner.

Third book is for people who can’t fit in social conventions.

Enjoy in reading.

 

Are you cautious person?

When you get burn, you will blow on cold. Bad experience is alert, and your red alarm will open light anytime when troubles are on the way. This is kind of warning, don’t repeat the same mistakes again. Even repeating is mother of knowledge, if we stuck in the same traps, we are wasting our time. How do you feel screwed from the same person or with same situations again? Like fool.

Roxanne learnt from past experiences. She had violent boyfriend and her blue eye or broken nose were reminders. Many time she justified how she hit into door or how clumsy she was , but once when she get out from this, apologies were unnecessary. Her next boyfriend try to hit her during conflict, and she left him another day.

Somehow, when we pass through boomer situations, next similar event will cause our flash back. I was hitchhiking and i had unpleasant experience, so there is no chance that i would do it again. It was before 10 years or more, and i surprise to myself how i was brave or foolish. Then i lost fear, but now i got warning. This happen in maturity, when you start to feel that is not recommended to put yourself into troubles, if there is easier way to solve problems.  Playing role of hero is not always brave act, sometimes is stupid. If you see that two men are in street fight, will you involve into this if you don’t know them? If you don’t want to be damaged, better not.

When we are careful, we will protect ourselves.

What does it mean?

Sometimes you will refuse to help your friend because it is against your interests.

Sometimes you will not give second chance to people who hurt you already.

Sometimes you will give up from some opportunity, for the sake of someone else. You like this guy, but you are not single so you will not accept his invite for dating.

 

When you are careful, it doesn’t mean that you afraid of risk or that you are closed in the box. Simply, you need time to think about and reconsider this offer. If you think that is smarter to stay away, do it. People can say : “You are coward.” That is not true. For example, i don’t want to travel alone in foreign country to meet with stranger who invite me from internet. I am just careful.

Some battles are not worthy of fight, others need time and adjustments, and sometimes is the biggest victory to stay calm until storm pass. That is difference between childish behavior and maturity. Kids never think about consequences, and mature persons will have kind of Libra, to think about good and bad sides of the same situation.

If we accept everything what this life offers, it is like we are walking around with binding eyes. We can crash with bad people if we act like blind mouses. Careless person is like bat, flying around until she hit into wall.

Our inside alarm should be always turn on. Look at this red button , this is your alert, that you are not doing something right.

It is possible to be alone in relation

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Once my hairdresser asked me: “Do you have boyfriend?” I said yes, and she said with deep sigh: “Thanks God, because if you never had boyfriend, it would not be all right with your sanity. “

That  provincial judgment made me smile, cause relation is not guarantee for happiness, neither is loneliness sign of misery. Do you know how is to feel alone in marriage or in relation?

At first sight, everything is nice because you pleased social conventions. Formally, you are not alone and you are worthy accord standards, because you have someone. If you look at this deeper, you will find many things under shinny surface, which are not so fairy .

In romantic movies two people met each other, make love and got married. Then they get children, have little conflicts because of breakfast, dog or furniture, make peace and live together forever. In real life such story has no logic. Relations are hard and marriage is hard, especially if two people are not in collaboration.

Logic question for any unhappy person in marriage would be: “Why don’t you leave him or her?” There are many reasons, including financial, why is that not possible over night. It takes time, nerves, money and it leaves pieces of broken heart, damaged trust and dead hope.

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Well, how is to feel alone in relation?

You make plans, and partner is silent.

You have problems at work and want to talk about this, your partner is ignorant.

You came home from work and want to make love, your partner is sleeping because he is tired.

You want to watch movie together, but your partner has no energy and will to comment with you.

Did you ever feel that you want to escape from reality and wake up somewhere else, where you will not see grumpy face and dead shine in eyes of your ignorant partner, where he will not blame you for his frustrations and where some dark stranger will hug you to forget everything?

In the movie “Purple rose of Cairo” Mia Farrow got lost in her dreams and she enter into movie screen to be together with her favorite actor. Later she realize that imaginary world is not hers, that is even worse than reality. Just, she learnt to grab courage, and she is leaving her nasty boyfriend who can’t do even small house work without her help.

The point of one sided relation is lack of courage. You live with parasite who suck your blood and you feel sorry for him but he will not say thanks for this.

Don’t feel alone in relation when you can be alone single. I had relation where i was alone. Guy called me every third day, his phone was busy when i needed him and i did not know am i in relation with him still because he never said that he will break up with me.

That is how syndrome “alone in relation” works out. That is sneaky cancer which attack your soul, bite you inside until it grabs your heart and make pieces of it.

This is your race, don’t forget to participate

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Do you ever get tired to do things for someone who will hardly move little finger for you? Are you tired to chase dream which is unreachable? Are you tired to deal with problems which are bigger and bigger every day?

Sometimes, life is a tunnel which is so dark that we can’t see path. We are walking as blind trying to find where is a little ray of light. As much we are trying, it is getting darker. People are deaf at your requests and even the closest one will not understand you.

This make me question, what i have in myself that everything is so hard to reach for me? Others solve problems easily and i am torching with it. I invest a lot, and i get so little. If i were farmer, i would spend a lot of seed and at the end i would sow some grass in best case.

I am trying to understand life, why i have so weak cards in this game and why i have to deal with so much obstacles for small results? Maybe i pay some bad karma or i am ungrateful for things i already have.

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As i am kind of fanatic, i don’t want to give up from my aim, so i use my extra bonus sources.

I find inspiration in those who succeed.

I make humor from my problems.

I got rid of everything and everyone who slow down my progress.

I look forward for every new day as possibility.

I remember things which were impossible for me, but i reach them anyway.

I look at life as on race in roller coaster. We go up and down and abyss is near , and i can fall in this abyss or hold on so strong that i can’t fall down. I live for triumph , for achievement. One of my favorite quotes said “those who will not risk, never drink champagne”, and i want to hold glass of champagne high to make cheers and toast .

Aren’t we live and suffer for those moment which makes us happy? No matter is this new love, birth of child, new job or lottery won? When you get your achievement, you forgot hard road with stones, wounds and lost nerves. No pain, no gain, even sometimes there is a pain and also no gain. The point is in possibility, if you never try, you will never have chance even to participate in the race.

Is your single status benefit or burden?

 

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If you are single, some people will pity you, others will make jokes and it depends of you how to handle this. Differences between single and taken status are visible in friend circles. Couples will have prejudices about single people, as they are always available and free for others. Single person sometimes feel as black sheep in group of couples, because in coffee bar is always free chair for someone who is not here yet.

If you are single, is this burden or benefit?
Take a look at your list of benefits.
You pay bills alone and you don’t share money with anyone.
 
You are not victim of jealousy.
 
You can go on striptease bar, beach party and football match without discussion with your better half.
 
You can flirt around without responsibility that you will hurt someone.
 
You can make mess in your bedroom and kitchen and nobody will complain that you are untidy.
 
You can listen music and watch movies accord your taste.
 
Remote control is yours.
 
 
Workplace is area where single people can’t feel comfortable because bosses will often dig into privacy of their employers. On other hand, single people will make own attitude to justify their status, and sometimes attack is the best defense.
Jenny is single, and she  compared herself with her female boss, who was in marriage. Her argument was next:
“She is constantly nervous because of her children and husband. I am happy and i smile because i have peace at my home. I don’t care for school problems, for choice of lunch or any such shit, because i can do all what i wish. “
One day Jenny and her boss had conflict. Her boss asked her to work overtime, and Jenny rejected this.
Her boss said: “What kind of reason you have not to stay? You are single, you don’t need to take children into kindergarten. “
Jenny replied: ” I also have life, more filled than yours. I am member of  book club and my friends are waiting for me. Then i go to the gym. “
Being single is a burden in some situations. 
You wish to go to wedding party but you have no escort.
 
You want to travel but you afraid to go alone.
 
You have vacation, but there is no person which you wish to spend it.
 
You are ill and nobody will visit you at hospital.
 
Married men want to have you as mistress.
 
Your friends want to pick partner for you. 
 
 
Being single is not social disgrace, but it depends about people who surrounds you. It is not pleasant when all around you are in couples, and you are alone and on the target. Imagine yourself in the middle of attention if you come to visit granny in some village, and you are over 30. “Oh honey, you are old maid. Where is your husband? Are you too picky? Are you lesbian? “
Some single people will make kick back. They will say :
I would rather be single than to have stupid wife or husband. I don’t envy you. I would not marry such person even if she is last in this Earth. “
You know the best what to do with your status. If you need space, air to breath or some time, you will enjoy as single, to collect your mind. If you are desperate for being single, don’t let others to notice that. Searching person because you are lonely is wrong reason for relation.
If you date with someone and you say something like this : ” I can’t stand my loneliness, that is killing me.”, this person will afraid and runaway. You are single and happy with yourself, and your possible partner is not your savior. He is your bonus because you can take care of yourself.

A friend in need is a friend indeed

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When you are sad and blue, everything looks hopeless. It is not pleasant to see how your dreams failed, how your love rejected you or you lost job. Feeling like loser, this is the last what anyone needs.

Sadness is part of life. It depends how we react on this. Your pride is on the floor, you need comfort but not everyone is suitable to make you comfort.

In the period of sadness you will reveal your real friends. Those are not necessary people who hug you or cry with you. Sometimes, person who looks cold and sounds rude is your best friend, but you are not able to see this , because you are too sad.

Before 13 years i broke with boyfriend. I had a friend who was my support, but somehow after conversation with her i felt like last loser on this Earth. She said to me this : “Years are passing by, and it is less and less time and opportunities. You will hardly find someone, because in this city all good are taken already. “

Suddenly, i stop being sad. That feeling of sadness vanished, i felt anger. My anger became so strong that i was furious. I felt flame of rage and i wanted to strangle her. Few years after, i was again in relation, but i was not friend with her anymore. Maybe she did not think bad, but she sounded so bad as it is my funeral. For sure, she could make speech for funerals and earn money on this.

Today i see one my friend sad and i am thinking how to help her. Would i show her bottom of sadness and losing pride? No, i don’t want this.

So i choose few strategies how to help people in sadness, even if you don’t know them well.

Don’t pity them. Don’t say pathetic things, it might make situation worse.

Don’t preach them. Nobody wants requiem when situation is tough.

Don’t say them corny things , as “life is going on” or “time heals all wounds”.

Don’t use their sad story to ask favors from them. “I know is tough, but can you do me some favor..or borrow me money?”

Don’t avoid their company, they need you the most now.

Don’t make their problems less important. Everyone has different boiling point.

The basic rule in every sad situation is to make person feel alive . If you show to people bright side of life, if you show them that they are important and dear to you, if you make them smile even in moment when they are angry, it will help.

One thing i know for sure. People will remember how you treat them when they felt like shit. They will remember who turned them back and who gave them hand. This is the point of friendship, that you will not escape like rat from sinking ship, you will stay even on Titanic, because this is your friend.