Are you princess who lost shoe?

 

Independent person is gift for others. Many people love to say, i am independent, i don’t need anyone. In the case of struggles and problems, this statement will be confirmed or denied. It is easy to say that you can do all alone when all is going well.

What happens in the case of storm in your life?

Suddenly, you broke and you need money, are you independent now?

Your boyfriend left you and you will call friends?

You got fired?

Your close family member is sick?

Being independent means that you lean on your forces, your previous experiences and that you will not give up.

Ask yourself, do you expect that high force will help you ?

If you expect granny with cookies in front of your door, you are wrong. Success never comes to lazy people. Maybe you will get some surprises, but happiness is not permanent and soon all what you get for granted will turn into big bill. If friend found job for you, he will ask you to return him favor. If you got luck in something, soon you will fail on other side. Happiness is not free and it is not serious approach to lean on happiness.

I had friend who always need man to help her. First was her father, when was cold outside and she was travelling by train, he came on train station with boots for her. Second was her husband, he earned money and then hire her to work for him. I want to say, it is easy to progress when all the time someone watch your back.

You know this kind of women who cry when they don’t get what they wanted? Some men are naive and they fall on their tears . These women are always victims and they are dependable of protection. She broke heels, she can’t walk. This guy offended her, let’s beat him. That kind of powerless princess is indeed calculative. She knows that is not necessary to take care of herself, cause others will do this.

Myra is woman in middle age. Her mother lived with her and her husband all the time. So, mother got sick and died. Unfortunately, Myra never learnt to cook. It was her mother’s job. So now she and her husband try to live without mother’s help.

When you are dependable, life punish you with test. Will you earn money alone? Will you cook and clean without help? Can you walk by foot, not to bother others to drive you all the time? Are you Cinderella who is asking for a prince because she lost shoe?

Such persons use others in every opportunity. I don’t say that you must do all things alone. Sometimes you will need help. Just, when request for help become manipulation and when favor became order, this is not fair situation.

Especially, if you are not willing to help others , never, because you are the one who is priority.

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How many women cheats with makeup?

Woman’s  face is space for painting, for those who are not satisfied by their natural look. Fake lashes, mascara, lipstick and all cosmetic tricks will make you awesome, as your role models in magazine. All right, i am kidding, probably you love yourself and you don’t want to ruin your face with too much makeup. What if you have perfect makeup and you lose man because he saw you without this, in your natural edition, when you did not expect this?

In Algeria man started court trial based on this subject. Day after wedding, man wants verdict about his marriage, as it never existed because he is victim of fraud. He said, this marriage is not valid, because he saw his wife first time without makeup and that person is very different from glamorous woman as he knew. People around world at forums judged him as jerk and make pity about poor woman, who found this creature. He will throw her away, because he could not stand to see her face without makeup? Indeed, he is a jerk. He is superficial and from his statement everyone can see that only outside look matters to him. Neither character, neither brain. Also, he wants big money for compensation, 20.000 dollars because he is in state of shock.

On other hand, what kind of woman will get marry with secret, about how she really looks like? Your man must know you very good before you sign your legal papers. Without fake condolence, what was she thinking, that she will lay to bed with mascara and bunch of powder on her face, make shower with lipstick on her lips and draw eyeliner in early breakfast time, before her husband wakes up?

One of men fears are artificial women. Women with face full of colors , where her eyes drawn in new model of Max factor mascara, or her lips are similar to fish because she discovered Maybeline ( or maybe she was born with this, you can imagine) . In next nightmare that woman take off her high heels, push up bra and wash her face, so when man sees this natural creature he runs away. Wow, girls, let’s admit, who did not use some trick to seduce guy? Well, men are not stupid and you will not always have a chance to be colored doll in front of him.

I met my husband in summer and after two weeks we went to river, on swimming. He saw my face as it is, and he did not complaint. I had eye bags cause i was tired from Saturday night, but i did not use nothing to fix that. It was early phase of our relation and kind of test, will he like me without makeup? He said that i don’t need it, because i am better natural. Then i said that i use it only for evening parties, when i will have elegant clothes. In fact i am really allergic on mascara, my eyes can’t stand this and when i use makeup i prefer something more natural.

I can count women fears, especially of those who are insecure in their beauty.

“He will saw me without makeup and i am done with him. “

“I look so ordinary without my colors on face. “

” My eyes are small, my lips are thin and my face looks to white. I have pimples, how to cover this?”

Bunch of fashion blogs are based on women fears, with advises how to fix errors of mother nature and how to hide imperfections. Well, nobody said that you must be dirty and that your bad hair day  is your advantage. Bad teeth are also not charming weapon. There are some situations, as business meetings, parties or dinners when you will put makeup because it looks more appropriate.

Makeup is an addition, not way of life and you can’t use it as tooth brush. Just, try to be more yourself, because men don’t tolerate  lies. As one my friend said: “I saw this girl, her face had more plaster than my house. ”

As much some men are superficial, some women feed them with false impressions. How could he knows who are you if he never saw you without makeup or if you run in bathroom for lipstick every time when you wake up?

What this poor woman at the beginning of story can expect? She did not take a risk to show her face so her husband brought extreme decision. Next time, she will throw her cosmetic purse in trash bin.

 

Why women like naughty guys?

 

 

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Forbidden fruit is sweeter. Grass is more green around your neighbor’s house. That is logic of some human minds. They see things what other’s have and they want to involve in this.
Such women are imitators and insecure in own choice. This is more safe, to try something what is already proved as good. Accord this logic, some women will pick only married men or men who are already taken and popular.
George is handsome man, he is working in bank, his salary is big because he is leader of one department. He is well mannered and girls love to hang out with him , at team building. Problem is, George was never in relation. Girls will say, George is wonderful, but somehow boring. There is no sparks, adrenaline, excitement with him. Girls would like to go in shopping with him, but not on date. He is not hot.
His friend Lewis is what women say hot guy. He is heartbreaker and never alone. One woman left him, he is already with another. He was married twice, and divorced. Lewis has magnet and women adore him.
If you ask women, why they pick Lewis, and not George for date, they will say that Lewis is confirmed as interesting choice. George needs good promotion and marketing, this is something what is missing in his behavior.

Women like to compete with each other. It is not rarity that two best friends will compete, they will even steal guy from each other. Married woman and his best friend, this is not always safe area when husband is here. It is like in movie “All about Eve.” Two women, one is role model for other, but indeed that friend who show admiration to you is your rival. She wants to take what is yours.

What is an advice for George? 

He needs so called hunter stories. 

He should lie about his reputation.

Women heard about him as good son of his mother, this is not cool and hot. Women tremble when they hear about Lewis, because he is so good in bed, he is passionate and this is hot area. When George is here, women will see scene with family and boring dinner. Lewis will take them in Wonderland. They can travel with him, he will suggest even roller coaster and they will feel young and desirable. George will take his woman at home, and his mother will judge them. This is what women want to avoid.

George needs woman who will break ice.

Once when other women hear that he had sex with someone, they will be curious too. Nobody wants to be his teacher.

Lewis is hunter and his trap is always full of trophies. Women will suffer and cry with him, but he will never be alone. He is enough smart to recognize when he needs to stop and settle down. Some women will reject him too, but he has joker in his pocket. As long women like to compete in this game, Lewis will be popular.
Women like naughty guys because they are unpredictable, you never know what he will bring at table. Maybe you did not want to marry with him, but for sure you want to meet some of them at least once.

What if your love is not enough?

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Do you know legendary sentence “I love you , but love is not enough?” This is the point of every unhappy love story, starting from Romeo and Juliet until nowadays. As much we wish to believe that heart can hold gentle construction of love story , we must keep our mind on the ground.

What happened with your past love stories? Can you say that you did not love enough your ex boyfriends or that they did not love you enough to stay together? No, that is not the reason why you are today with someone else. If we could measure our love beats, we would stay with each of our lovers until nowadays.

The background is something different. You might not stay with love of your life, but you will stay with man who is the most resistant and persistent partner. You will stay with the one who supports you in your craziness, handle patiently your failures and criticize you even he knows you will throw bricks at him. Maybe your ex boyfriend was too weak or too nervous to deal with you and he found easier way with another woman. Maybe you were too much for him, but it doesn’t mean that he did not love you.

What are the most often reasons, why love is not enough ?

Imagine that you bake cookies and you have all ingredients, but you forgot sugar. You have cream, oil, milk, flavor, even fruit, but you can’t find sugar.

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This is kind of sugar in this story, why feelings of love are not enough to keep love alive:

You are too far from each other.

He is from another city or even another country. Time could break your relation .

You are too old or too young for him.

Differences in generations could break relation. If you are woman 10 or 15 years older. If you are man much older than your love.

Lack of money.

No, i don’t talk as gold digger or material girl. If you have partner who reject to earn money and just sit at home waiting for you to buy him beer, you are in troubles.

Your partner is cheater or womanizer.

You think you can change him? Go ahead and hold pieces of your heart together.

He is an addict.

Addiction of alcohol, drugs, medications, gambling are dangerous vices. If you stay without money, in debts or embarrassed in public, love will not be enough.

I am not saying that obstacles are invincible. I wish to say, it is not enough if you only love your partner. You must be strong, stable, firm and ready to lose him in every moment. You must be ready to stay alone. This is your sugar ingredient which misses in your cake. If you have substitute for this sugar, if you pretend that you did not notice your empty spot in this relation, if you forgive all failures to your partner, this cake will leave bitter taste in your mouth.

Poor Romeo, if he only had enough patience to wait Julliet to wake up. If Rose from Titanic had more logic to hold Jack in this small board, maybe both would drown or survive, but she would not stay with guilt of conscience alone. Poor Othello, if he would only take a breath before strangling Desdemona, he would realize that he did not have reason for his jealousy.

This is only because love was not enough to hold relation alive.

Who is real lady nowadays?

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Dear ladies and gentlemen, that is sentence from intro speech when you talk with publicity. You wish to express respect accord your audience, so that titles will help you to sound politely.

Who is indeed lady and does every woman really deserve this name? Recently i went to buy bus ticket because i was travelling in another city. I stand into line, forward me was a man, and few people also waited for a ticket. Suddenly, one woman run and pushed man in front of me, with words “I am in big rush” and before he opened mouth, she was buying a ticket. He said: “Madam, here is the line, you should stand here behind.” She replied : “I am a lady and i need to catch this bus.”  His response was : “You are a lady? Don’t make me laugh. Ladies don’t do this. You escaped from the jungle.”

 

I was smiling, because in his words were lot of truth. Indeed, real lady will not push people as she is from Wild West. That would do Calamity Jane, but not a lady. She could ask politely if she wanted a favor. Words “please”, “thanks” and “i am sorry” should be in dictionary of woman who consider herself as lady.

If we go back to history, in Middle age lady was noble title. That was woman from aristocracy, with manners and from high society. Ladies were princesses and daughters of  the blood royal, with their first names prefixes, for example as the lady Elisabeth.

Today, women will use word “lady” to get some benefits. This is more an excuse, i have some rights because i am a lady. How to expect from men to respect you, to bring your bags, to open you door, if you yell on them , if you are swearing and use filthy words? Your behavior should prove your attitude if you really wish to be a lady.

When i was in high school, last days were really exciting. Everyone wanted to be drunk, because it was goodbye to school days and young people were celebrating. One girl got drunk and she fainted. This image will stay in my memory, because boys drag over her body into school hallway and duster spills water over her. This girl lost her dignity. Later people talked about girl who got drunk and about her behavior which was worse than any guy.

Not every woman wants to be a lady, and this is free choice. Some of us are wild, spontaneous and nowadays this word might sound ridiculous. It is nice to see well dressed and well mannered, educated and decent woman, so you can say “this is a lady.”
Nowadays, lady should be woman with style, who knows when to stay silent, and when to speak , also she will know how to speak. This woman has balance and she gain respect toward opposite gender. Man will fall in love in this lady because she is gentle, and yet with strong attitude.

Do you follow some patterns when you choose partner?

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Saturday in the night club, usually noisy crowd and one table in the corner.
Barbara, Jack and Sue are talking about relations.
All are single and their love stories had unhappy ends.
Barbara: Why i always meet wrong guy?
Jack: Why all women left me?
Sue: I am under spell, i know it, i did not give coin to beggar last week, and he cursed me.
They have mutual problem, how to meet right partner for relation.
Barbara : I like macho guys but they are always hurting me.
Jack: I like blondes but they want only my money.
Sue: I like romantic guys but i always meet those who have protective mother and there is no place for me.

They are asking partners with one key, one pattern. 

 

Their partners are always the same, because they will fall in love in various persons with the same qualities. Accord their choice, they will make always the same mistakes in attempt to keep that kind of person in relation. Their love story always have the same end, with some updates.
Barbara: It is not problem in them, i am masochist.
Jack: I like when i can buy things for my ladies.
Sue: I love to take care for my guys.
Your wish is my command, said Alladin’s ghost and make it true. If you pick partners who remind you on each other, you have the same pattern. 
Barbara : It is time that i start dating with romantic guys.
Jack: I need to find woman who has own salary.

Sue: I will find guy who will take care for me. Enough to be boss and mother in this relation.

After this troubles, they had only one thought, how to avoid same examples in the future.

 

If you change the view, new chances and new circles are opening. If you stuck in the same crowd, you will hardly get out from something what is indeed not for you. You might think that you can change someone, or that you need to change yourself to be perfect match. No, you are looking in wrong direction. Think about why some people are together , and what’s connect them. They did not train to be bonded. It simply happened.

So, what you really need to change is your love pattern.

Stop run for wrong guys, because remember that something is similar to all them. Did not they all make damage to you in past? How about that you try something new? This is the same when you vote for same politicians every years and they disappoint you.

Try new pattern, choose sweet guy from neighborhood for a change, instead of rough macho type . It is not easy, but at least give yourself a chance to swim in new sea.

Did you burn your own bridge?

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The worst thing you can do to yourself is to burn your own bridge. If you underestimate your abilities and values it means you underestimate yourself. So you think that you don’t deserve the best, and you won’t get it because you ruined your odds at the start of this race.

Nobody is perfect so sometimes we will afraid of high standards, some terms and requests from others. You see an advertising for great job, but you are not qualified. That girl captured your eyes but she is gorgeous, and you are just an average guy next door. The main question is: “Where is my place and should i stand out?”

If you are not ready to cross your limits, your destiny is sealed. You will always stay in your small city with poor job and small salary , married to someone just to break loneliness, because that person was not your first choice. Once you wanted to marry for guy you loved passionate, but you never get courage to show him your affection. Your husband was safe choice so today you think about “what if” option.

Scarlet was average girl with weight problems, but she had an excellent taste and high standards for men. Her self confidence was high and she dared to approach any guy. She was never pushy, an opposite, her methods of seducing were masterpiece. First she would get info about guy, his preferences and interests, to know her target better. It was sophisticated way to create opportunity and make spot for her actions. So she “accidentally” met James in library when he learnt for an exam, Scott on playground when he was training basketball and Richard on course of Spanish language. Scarlet was cheerful and her sense of humor was great so guys loved her company. Even she did not manage always to catch guy in her spider net, she was surrounded by handsome and popular guys so it was matter of time when she will catch the right one. One day she met Ryan in the club, they started conversation about music and next step was dance. Scarlet had provocative clothes for this opportunity and Ryan fall on her charm, even he could pick more beautiful girl than Scarlet. He was fascinated with her personality.

How to catch someone or something out of your league?

Stretch yourself. So do things which you never did before.

Don’t listen pessimistic people. It will spoil your mood.

Take a risk that you may fail or get embarrassed. This is the price.

Never behave accord previous patterns. Take a new horse for a new ride.

Be flexible. To catch something out of your league, you must be ready for changes, even you may not like it.

Life is bunch of strategies. Your results depend about skills which you adopted by experiences. If you stand in the same circle, if you make your own boundaries, you are prisoner in your own jail. So, when you wish something out of your league, it is time to change your beliefs from “i can’t” to “i can”.