Some positive thoughts for my followers

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I wish to all my followers happy Friday.

Here I share some of my positive, inspirational thoughts which helps me in hard moments:

If you wish to survive, you will not afraid of challenge.

The biggest risk is to do nothing.

Don’t call past, there is nothing new to hear.

People who criticize you are kind of injections. Take this needle as motivation for your progress.

Don’t underestimate yourself, that is not your job. Others will try to sabotage you anyway.

Haters are just your followers from other side of mirror.

Never lose your sense for humor. Jokes might help you to survive the day.

 

For the end, this is me. My virtual friend spelled my name wrong, I am Kristina. He made this photo as sign of friendship, but he forgot to  spell it right.

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Napoleon complex – when authority turns off

 

Life gives us opportunities as cards. When we spent our amounts of cards, we can create more chances to stay in the game. Second choice is to give up from everything and abuse our power in the places where we can do it.

If you travel by bus or tram, sooner or later you will see controller tickets. That is usually older man or woman. They can be frustrated and angry on the rest of the  world . They will grab this chance to throw out their rage on passengers.

Once drunk controller entered in the tram. There were bunch of people who saw him and runaway quick until door were opened. The rest who stayed there were his victims.

He was red in the face and his breath had smell as trash, but still he asked for a ticket woman who were sitting near him.

– I don’t have ticket. I was in rush so i did not buy.

– What kind of behavior is this? You are travelling without ticket. What is this?

Men was yelling and his face became more red. Woman refused to give him personal ID. He has no authority to watch on her personal documents, accord Law of order it can do only policeman.  All right, this is not good to travel without ticket, because tram is not free unless you have special benefits. But, what kind of authority is drunk man who is yelling around like lion in zoo garden? What example and role model is he?

Look at this background. Some people are lazy during school time. They don’t want to learn, to progress when they have time and opportunity. Later they will not have big choice for employment and they will work from time to time. Controller job is good to fill your time when you are retired. If you are decent person, you can make agreement with people who will not pay ticket and try to convince them what is good for them. If you have Napoleon complex like this drunk man, you will grab your power to be someone at least. All what you missed in your life now is in front of you, as big stage. You can be aggressive, violent, fearless, and some naive people will maybe afraid of you. So pity you don’t have a gun, like from western movies.

Napoleon jumps out in various areas. We can see secretary who wanted to be a lawyer but she could not pass even one exam. She will yell on new employers as she is their boss. Also we can see policeman on his duty who will give lessons to young girls who were walking on the street after midnight and talk loud. This is his opportunity to teach them what is right and accord rules. This policeman never got real crime case and he can’t progress as corporal or captain, but he will give lessons to young girls about behavior. Also if you late with paying bills, you will get alert and clerk will later ring on your doorbell. He will took your television to sell on public auction. This clerk is maybe the last pawn in his family, maybe his wife disrespect him or his children make a donkey from him, but if he come on your door, watch out. He got a power, and he can be very cruel. Now you will pay , not because you are not paying bills on time. You will pay because life was so cruel to him.

We can feel something personal in act of some people.

They want to punish you not because you broke law or you late with your duties. They see big chance for personal revenge and they don’t care because this is wrong way. They abuse their position to prove their strength. If you have bad luck, this Napoleon can be your boss. You can be the best person in this world, but still he doesn’t give a shit about you, because you are here to pay your karma lessons.

Can you recognize control freak?

 

 

Surprises are part of life. We never know what expects us today or tomorrow, we can’t predict all possible situations and changes. This unpredictable life is beautiful because opportunities are everywhere. Surprises can be good or bad, but we can’t control them.

Rhonda had awful habit to check everything around her. She would lock the door twice before she went out. She was also calling her husband anytime when he did not come at home in expected time. The worst part of her personality she shown at workplace. Her colleagues were terrified of her emails. Every mail had option of confirmation, and if someone did not replied on her email, she was yelling why they did not do it. Her dream was big umbrella , that would be shelter for all people she knew , with purpose that they act accord their wishes.

Once her son teenager went to birthday party. She called him three times to check is everything all right. At the end her son said to her: “You are really annoying. Why don’t you leave me alone? I will be drunk so much that you will call the doctor.” She really upset him.

Rhonda did not understand that she is burden for people around her. She wanted to save the world, but it was impossible mission. Her husband broke leg and she did not have power under it. It was sign that her control freak behavior is not welcomed. That was kind of alert, she did not realize that is impossible to control events and people around her.

Control freaks are possessive and obsessive people. They want kind of power and their behavior is overprotective. If person expose mother’s instinct or jealousy in large amounts, control freak is on the way. Under that behavior is fear that something bad will happen, that things will run away from expected directions and what is the worst result, we can’t stop it. What if my son get drunk? What if my husband will cheat me around, that new girl in office is gorgeous? So i will stalk him or call every hour, he will not have chance to do it.

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How other people react on control freaks? 
Nobody likes it. You can get insulted from anybody if you will try to put him in chains. This is like you want to create invisible handcuffs. Did you expect that your beloved person will give you report about his activities? You are wrong.

Don’t try to cut someone’s wings, don’t spy in private space and also if you do it, control is the worst way. 

You will get an opposite result. People will runaway from you and they will hide things in front of you. You thought that someone will give you keys into their privacy? See what happened, your trespass in other privacy got an answer. Next time when you will try to open secret door, you will find double lock.

Thank you 600 followers

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Before i continue with new posts, i wish to say thanks to my followers. Thanks for your attention, comments, suggestion and inspiration.

I am not typical blogger, i don’t write kind of diary as ” i had this for breakfast” cause i am not Beyonce that someone would be interested for that. I write stories from my experience and always protect my sources. Also, i don’t like when someone put link under my blog, i will always moderate this because i think promotion is good only when is allowed. If i want to follow your blog, i will do it by myself, i don’t need push button. Also i never put my links on other blogs, unless is theme about promoting blogs.

I like constructive comments, critics, also i comment under blogs which got my attention. Here are wonderful bloggers, it is also inspirational sourcing for me, cause i can learn a lot from other bloggers, especially cause English is not my mother tongue and i do mistakes in spelling or grammar. What i would never do, to hire professional translator. That would not be me. Also i am not expert for psychology and i would never interfere into professional area, to give some expert advices. My profession is law and i have rich life experience, so what i write, i write from my heart.

I hope my number of followers will increase more with time, and i wish you great inspiration on this start of new week.

How much expensive are your mistakes?

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We are born clumsy. You try to walk and you will fall. Try to swim and you will swallow water. Your heart will skip beat from fear that you can get drown.
Nobody learnt everything about life immediately, in the first moment. Some people are learning fast, others are behind them. What is in common,  people are not robots and not perfect. This means, we will do plenty of mistakes on every fields.
I remember when i wanted to learn typing on keyboard with 10 fingers. This skill of typing i needed to make my job easier. I was in mess and very slow. Later it was very useful  so it saved my time.
Mistakes are part of your life. Who will  learn, work and participate in anything can’t avoid mistakes. What is bad is judgment and contempt.
Oh, you are retarded. You don’t know this? How you don’t know simple and basic things?”
Every skill starts with mistake. You will eat bitter meal when you are cooking for a first time. You will stand on foot of your partner when you try to dance. Also, if you are learning other language, you will do mistakes with grammar and spelling.
Some people are talented for particular fields. This talent is something born with them. Sergej Jesenjin was wonderful Russian poet. Isidora Duncan was dancer. Maria Callas was singer in opera. They had special gift and they used it.
Problem is when someone is pushed into fields where he doesn’t belong.
We can’t all be familiar and celebrities. Sound of bad voice or clumsy dancing will cause laugh and mocking. Such persons are inspiration for  stand up comedy from their attempts. We must know where we are standing and not to make shame from our attempts.

What is important, if we want to progress we must keep trying. If you never try, how will you know what is your limit? Also, if you give up after few mistakes, you are indeed weak. Cry because you got bad mark? Fall in depression because your boss yell on you? Someone spit on your work? Well, deal with this as with challenge. Show them that you can.

The basic of every success is – learn from your mistakes. Update your masterpiece with this mistakes. Mistakes are warning and lessons, if you can listen and hear their message you got the score.
People who never learnt from their mistakes are still in stand by and pending position. They are frozen because they gave up or did not know what to do next.

How to recognize drama queen?

 

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Life will punish us with bad experiences on one way or another, but our reactions are not the same. Some of us will keep problems inside, suffer quietly and nobody will know about this. Others will yell and notify world about their “tragedies”, as it is event number one.
If your better half is drama queen, you are victim of emotional flood and every word you say can be understand on wrong way.
“Why you look at me like that? My haircut is bad? Oh i know i look fat in this trousers. But you should tell me this into face. “
 
Clint was in relation with Sandra and he was walking on the ice all the time. Few times she embarrassed him in publicity because she could not hide her moods. She was witch with broomstick and her friend circle was very small.
Drama queen is usually woman, but also some guys are very good in that.  It happens especially if there is connection with their career and promotion. Gordon got new job and his boss was harsh with him first few days. He complaint to Union after few weeks, even he was new in that workplace. He left very bad impression on others, because it was something what people remember. This drama king could not stay quiet even when he changed job.
Internet is great place for drama queens. See what happens when someone is angry and wish to delete page.
“I am sad. Someone piss me off so badly. Sorry people i am going. Forever. Go to hell.”
After this, the same person opens fake page or watch around for reactions. This kind of person wish to die, but also she wants to be notified who will come at her funeral. Wow, so much people. What, nobody care? Bastards and idiots never cared for me.
Drama queen could be easy recognized in 5 characteristics.
Immature person who cries for everything. Bad mark at school, bad day, broken nail.
 
She likes to gossip, because there is seed of possible drama.
 
She is never quiet. If she doesn’t cry, she laughs loudly.
 
If she has boyfriend, everyone knows about this in next 24 hours.
 
She is author of haunt stories. She lives life with full lungs, but also she imagine things and exaggerate with details.
Drama queen never heard for balance. So if you wish to get rid of her, don’t show any reactions. This movie you don’t want to see, and she needs audience.

10 ways how to test your trust in people

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It is very easy to get fooled. Someone cheated you, you are misguided? Don’t blame yourself, it could happen to everyone. Difference is in way, how to get out from this and avoid future disappointments.

Naivete is sign of trust, just in extreme form. If you believe in everything, you are naive.

Life would be boring without risks. If you are too cautious, you step into paranoid area. Wow, everyone is against me, i am on black list and for sure this is again my bad luck. On that way, you close yourself into golden cage, and nobody could harm you. How to open your soul to others? Who can make guarantee that you will find treasure, and that you will not stuck in the trap?

Here are the most often traps for naive people, and you are not the only one who will fail. 

1. salesman and his skills 

You bought something what is not necessary and you spent big money, because salesman persuaded you in value of his products? Look at your wardrobe, there are dresses you will never wear. Here is jewelry without values, fake pearls and cheap necklace, but it looks good on first sight.

2. big chance for easy money

Many advertising about earning big money on easy ways fooled many people. Everyone will think “but i will be the one who will really earn.”

3. masters of tarot, black magic, love spells

This woman saw that you will get marry next year? You are still single but you gave her 100 euro? You are not first and not the last.

4. virtual marriage proposal

Your prince charming promised you to get marry and then he disappeared after you lend him money? Call someone who have similar experience.

5. big lottery won, roulette, slot machines

Las Vegas, Monte Carlo, expensive casinos over the world, and everyone dream about jackpot. You think you are the one who will win? But others think about this too.

6. meeting with agent who promised you to make star from you

You want to be famous and this man promised you this? Suddenly you are victim of human trafficking, porno industry or you simply got fooled. You enter into twilight zone.

7. online shopping

Cruel stats and numbers are black evidence, how many people get fooled with online shopping. Empty pockets and wallets are reality.

8. liberty movements, sects

You wish to escape from reality, and spiritual person promised you better world? Suddenly, you are without passport and money, but you are member of sect and they can do with you whatever they want.

9. politicians promises

You are member of political group and they promised you good job, when they win on elections. Nothing for you, still? Keep searching.

10. pills for losing weight

You paid big money to lose your weight, but you are even more fat than before? At least, your wallet is thin.

Everyone who wants success in life must develop sense for reality.

It doesn’t mean that you need to give up from dreams and hopes, but you need info. Numbers don’t lie. If 90% people slip in some area, will you enter into 10% who did not? Maybe your neighbor won on the lottery, but it doesn’t mean that you are next. Your cousin got married for rich man after they know each other 2 months? She got luck, but exceptions doesn’t make rules.

Big decisions are investments. First you need to study your situations, otherwise you will buy cat in the bag. There is no guarantee that you will protect yourself from bad surprises, but at least don’t jump on first offer. Also, if you did mistake, your knowledge will help you to get out faster from this. If you see cat in the bag, throw this bag and runaway.

Likability – 3 reasons why people like you

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Recently i had quarrel with my office mate. She said that everyone at my workplace hate me. I almost cried from laugh, because i am not important boss and i don’t bring crucial decisions that everyone would dislike me. Hate is strong feeling, and when someone hates you, this means that person is afraid of you, wants to be like you or simply, you have something what that person could not have. I said on diplomatic way, that i came there to earn money, not to love or hate people. For me, they are blank and i will be nice to everyone because this is my professional duty. Maybe i sound cold, but i am really not interested about their children’s poop, their problems with coughing or husbands who snores all night.

This brings me to next question, why some people try to force other’s empathy or love? Why they are desperate for likability, and what is this, indeed?

Remember your childhood, when you first time felt that your peers dislike you. Did you fit in? Maybe naughty girl destroyed your favorite doll or nasty guy hit you with ball into face, so you came at home with tears in your eyes. As teenager, maybe girls laughed to your pimples or you have been considered as nerd. As workmate, maybe you tasted bitter insults because you wear wrong clothes, you are not kind or you radiate on negative way.

So, if you are not miss or mister of popularity, should you buy shotgun and shot into your head? Maybe you try to get what indeed attract people and why someone is having huge number of friends, and you are bohemian soul.

I see three kinds of likability:

Artificial likability. 

If you are famous, not everyone is your friend. They will follow you cause you are popular. How many sincere smiles and words are on your side? Many of this things are fake, because you are rich and successful. Today they admire to you, next day they will laugh to you.

Forced likability.

If you watched war movies directed by Clint Eastwood, you will remember soldiers who sow fear. Tough general is in the center of likability, but this likability is based on fear. In the case of defeat, someone will shot him.

Spontaneous likability.

This is the best form , because people love you for what you are. You are not dependable of their opinions, you don’t ask nothing from them, but they simply love you, because your independence inspires them.

Recently i was talking with psychologist on his blog page and he asked people what is likability, how they see this value. He said that such person has deeper insight of life than in mainstream media. This brings me to next conclusion : how much internet force people to be likable for each other? When you see desperate teens seeking for likes who can’t move eyes from their cell phones, in expecting of notifications on social media, are they desperate? Or, this is just sheep race, because her classmate got 30 likes for profile photo, and she is not so popular?

Why some people always get late on meetings?

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You had deal to meet your friend in 11 a.m. She is again getting late, even you warned her last time that you don’t like it. Finally she came, with innocent smile on her face, after you waited her half hour. Will you forgive her because this is part of her personality? Person who is getting late is more than clumsy accord other’s feelings. She is unstable, distrustful and disrespectful.

Ok, if you think that is not a big deal, imagine situation where you are standing on open space, when outside is snow and wind, and you are waiting for person more than 15 minutes. For sure, this is not comfortable and you feel as a fool. Try to get late next time when you have deal with her, so let she feels how it is. Experiences learnt us, we got the point after we pass through the same things , when we did not believed to others how hard it is.

 

Some situations are unpredictable and you will get late as much you try to come on time. Person with good manners will take cell phone to make a call or send message. “Sorry i will be late. Can you wait me 10 minutes or we can deal for another time?”

Imagine that you are at work and you have deal with client. He expect you , and you can’t come at time. It happened to David, and he did not give a shit. He is lawyer and he had deal for meeting with his client, a woman who had problems with divorce. David had messy private life, and she was at lunch with mistress when his client called him that he forgot their deal. Also, she travelled from another city to meet with him. David simply forgot about this, and he said “let’s meet another time”, but his client cancelled all. He was not trustful .

People who will late at dates are special category. 

Wilma waited for his boyfriend Rob half hour, she was freezing in short skirt, accord his wishes. He came with his friend , after she was red in face and she already started coughing. “Sorry , we were at shopping to get some booze. ” It was very funny to them, because they were drunk, but Wilma felt humiliated, less important and underestimated.

Nowadays everyone owe cell phone, internet coffee bars are available on every corner, and it is impossible not to make a good deal or to apologize if you had something urgent. Yes, someone can kidnap you or you can get bad news, but if you are repeating bad pattern, nobody will trust you. Or, if you tolerate someone who is getting late , you will always wait much longer than you realized.

Middle solutions are not good deal

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Life is big tasty cake. People will gather around table to grab the best pieces. Some will take the best parts, others will take only what is left. Who will be the winner? Winner is not person who is faster than others. This is person who reject to take crumbs. 

Everyone wish the best for himself. Beautiful woman, good job, lot of money, nice house. Do you wait granny with plate and cookies or you take some efforts to realize that? Or, you are satisfied with middle solutions? We can’t have everything, but some things we deserve.

Love is area where middle solutions are just comfort. Sometimes, our heart is willing to accept middle solutions because we love someone too much to let him go. We can’t take this eraser because we will suffer.

 

What are middle solutions in love?

I don’t love you so you can be my friend.

I like you but i don’t love you so you can be my mistress.

I want you in my life but not in the way you wish so call me sometimes.

Middle solutions are crumbs. They are destroyers of pride and dignity. Why you take this from guy who underestimates you, if other guy would offer you much more?

Besides, if you are satisfied with crumbs, you will live whole life with pieces. Others will realize their dreams, you will watch other ‘s success and something inside of you will make you frustrated. This little worm is digging into your soul, why you let yourself to live like this?

Big changes need big cuts, the same as you need to throw crumbs if you wish to get whole cake. It is familiar feeling when you love someone so much that you will accept him in every circumstances. 

When you will wake up?

When you see that he respects and love other woman. 

When he is ready to take stars for her, and you are just number for him.

When he is rude or cruel with you, because you are his nothing.

Life is movie, and you are one of actors. What is your role, on the stage or in background? Do you wish to watch others eternally how they take things in front of your nose until you are in the corner?

When someone say to you “life sucks”, be sure this is person who missed his best opportunities. They disappeared in cloud of smoke. So close, and yet so far away, because he had no guts to take whole cake.