Do you tolerate different opinions?

When you have choice, you can pick what you wish because your hands are free and you are not influenced by others. You choose accord your principles and beliefs. That is very easy, because you know what is the best for you. What happens when you need to accept other choices, even you don’t like them? This question is measure of your tolerance.

Every time when we meet new person, we are introduced with her personality. That person comes with package. That means, you will not accept in your life only beautiful girl with sweet smile. You will accept her beliefs together with her. You may not like her parents, relatives or friends. Also, you will be terrified with her political beliefs. You could be an atheist, and she is religious. You have different musical taste and enjoy in pop music, and she wants to go in opera to listen Chopin or Verdi. Differences will cause conflicts, and reactions will be various.

How to represent your choices in publicity?

Don’t push your beliefs forward others, don’t try to persuade them that you are right.

Never humiliate or underestimate your friend or partner, because they think different.

Don’t create conspiracy against others because they don’t support your beliefs.

Don’t use insults and don’t play dirty. Low kicks are just proof how far you can go in manifestation of your ego.

When kids are fighting, they will cry, yell or insult each other without limits, because they are kids. First level of maturity begins with acceptance of other choices. It doesn’t mean that you must follow majority and join to the crowd, as sheep in herd. That means diplomatic skills.

What happens when you fight against wall and you wish to promote your beliefs as general rules?

You will lose affection of your friends.

You may got nickname as dictator.

People will consider you as closed minded person, primitive or egomaniac.

Sarah was leader of international department in one firm. She could not stand that her employees are getting late, so she was punishing them for every minute when they did not come at time. She did not accept any apology from them, even if some women had children and they had obligation to go in kindergarten before work. Soon they made jokes from this and ordered Swiss watch for her birthday. Sarah was furious and next step was threat in email. She said that her employees must answer on every phone call otherwise they will get smaller salary. People asked her what will happen with that missed calls during their pause for smoking and toilet. Sarah lost her power for few months because she could not handle pressure. She could not accept that other people also have right on their opinion and their choices, even they were under her position at work.

If ego stands on your way, you may lose some interesting friendships, opportunities for love and chances for good job. Your best friend is liberal? Your nephew is gay? Can you accept this with tolerance?

If you can’t accept it now, you may meet with this in future. You are conservative, but your son and daughter could be liberal. Imagine Cher, her daughter changed gender. It was not easy, but as mother she accepted her decision.

Your choices could change with time. Maybe you were rebellious in youth, and now you follow different rules. That will help you to accept other preferences, because you know advantages and failures of both sides. One thing is sure, if you accept person only because she thinks the same as you, in first conflict your friendship will break on pieces.

Our choices define us and our relations with others. If you think that only you have right all the time, discussion has no sense.

At the end, your choice is your echo. What you choose it will come to you as reflection in the mirror. Don’t act as policeman with warrant :”You have right to be silent, and if you say something, we can use it against you.”

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Make choice, regret is expensive

 

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I don’t have luck. Me and my bad luck. We will say this often when nothing good happens in our life. Then, happiness will leave track. You hear someone is knocking on the door? If you don’t open, person will leave and maybe return next time. Or never. The same is with opportunities. They are here, and if you don’t use this moment, all what is left is regret.

Ivan had good chance to work in Switzerland. He was engineer and he got offer to work on project , for good salary. He was thinking because this opportunity has a price. He should move from Croatia, together with this family, and to live in Luzern. He should left his friends, parents who were old and sick and simply to start for a new life.  After many doubts he gave up. How he will leave his city, friends from childhood and how his parents will live without his visits? He had children and they used on school, how would they fit in Luzern? He stayed at his job, for average salary. After ten years, when his factory fall in debts and director announced bankruptcy, he remembered his business chance.

Similar situation made Eva to regret. She was between two men. One was handsome, with temporary job, and other was rich, less handsome but stable and with good character. She chose first. Her life with Victor was hell. He spent her money and runaway with waitress. Eva spent whole night with postcard from Filip. Meanwhile he got marry and Eva remembered her missed chance. She wanted adventure and life with Filip would be boring, accord their view. Or maybe not? She choose Victor and it was big fail.

Every choice leave consequences.

What occupation you will choose? How about your job, life partner?

Will you quit present job and ask for new?

Will you marry for that man?

You are pregnant and you don’t want to keep your baby?

Our choice will leave mark in our soul. How could it be and what would happen if you choose different? Sound of regret is very sad. Maybe you did not have guts to risk more. Maybe your sacrifice would be too big and painful.

Regret is bad follower. If you did not choose right, try to be happy with things and persons you have. You did not recognize what is good for you, so now make your choice better and live with this.

Are you cautious person?

When you get burn, you will blow on cold. Bad experience is alert, and your red alarm will open light anytime when troubles are on the way. This is kind of warning, don’t repeat the same mistakes again. Even repeating is mother of knowledge, if we stuck in the same traps, we are wasting our time. How do you feel screwed from the same person or with same situations again? Like fool.

Roxanne learnt from past experiences. She had violent boyfriend and her blue eye or broken nose were reminders. Many time she justified how she hit into door or how clumsy she was , but once when she get out from this, apologies were unnecessary. Her next boyfriend try to hit her during conflict, and she left him another day.

Somehow, when we pass through boomer situations, next similar event will cause our flash back. I was hitchhiking and i had unpleasant experience, so there is no chance that i would do it again. It was before 10 years or more, and i surprise to myself how i was brave or foolish. Then i lost fear, but now i got warning. This happen in maturity, when you start to feel that is not recommended to put yourself into troubles, if there is easier way to solve problems.  Playing role of hero is not always brave act, sometimes is stupid. If you see that two men are in street fight, will you involve into this if you don’t know them? If you don’t want to be damaged, better not.

When we are careful, we will protect ourselves.

What does it mean?

Sometimes you will refuse to help your friend because it is against your interests.

Sometimes you will not give second chance to people who hurt you already.

Sometimes you will give up from some opportunity, for the sake of someone else. You like this guy, but you are not single so you will not accept his invite for dating.

 

When you are careful, it doesn’t mean that you afraid of risk or that you are closed in the box. Simply, you need time to think about and reconsider this offer. If you think that is smarter to stay away, do it. People can say : “You are coward.” That is not true. For example, i don’t want to travel alone in foreign country to meet with stranger who invite me from internet. I am just careful.

Some battles are not worthy of fight, others need time and adjustments, and sometimes is the biggest victory to stay calm until storm pass. That is difference between childish behavior and maturity. Kids never think about consequences, and mature persons will have kind of Libra, to think about good and bad sides of the same situation.

If we accept everything what this life offers, it is like we are walking around with binding eyes. We can crash with bad people if we act like blind mouses. Careless person is like bat, flying around until she hit into wall.

Our inside alarm should be always turn on. Look at this red button , this is your alert, that you are not doing something right.

Did you give more than you get?

 

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Quid pro quo, that is an old Latin proverb. It means , give and take. If you ask for favor , i will do it, but next time i will need feedback. If you don’t want to help me i will consider you as selfish. Ask next time something from me and you will not get it.

Human relations should be based on reciprocity, as we have two hands on one body. I give you love and i expect your love for return. I am loyal to you, i will not screw you, but also i am not a fool. If you think that i am not worthy of your respect and loyalty, for sure i will know this and you will lose my affection.

Selfish person will hardly understand meaning of reciprocity. So, i am used that others please to my wishes. It comes out from childhood. Mother made cake for me but i don’t want to wash dishes. She will wash instead of me. My friend did my homework because i did not know how. She asked me to borrow her skirt, but i can’t do this, i don’t lend my clothes. Selfish person is one sided personality. That kind of person will receive, but never give for return. She has always right and only her opinion is important. As dictators in history, that people are masters and others are slaves.

Selfishness will exist so long until other will accept her existence. Sonia lives with mother even she has 40 years. So her mother is doing all kind of job in this flat, but Sonia always paint nails, read and she is princess who would make her hands dirty with such kind of work. One day mother got sick, and Sonia was forced to cook her tea and make a lunch. Then she saw her selfishness. Mother could die and her last act would be making favorite meal for Sonia.

We cannot be soft accord selfish people. They must be faced with their character. If you do accord their wishes, you will never warn on your rights and needs. Indeed, you don’t exist if your boyfriend or friend never did nothing for you, to make you happy.

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Reactions  might be various. Egocentric will swallow bitter mug.

They can make angry. What, this is thanks for me because i am your friend 10 years? I can’t guess what you wish.

They can feel guilty. Sorry, i did not know that my acts hurt you. I will try to make it better.

They will not admit. No, this is not true. I do things for you but you don’t see this.

They can ask for replacement. Well, if you are not satisfy with me, i will find another friend. I will find another woman who will make me happy. Someone will appreciate me more than you.

What is reason of other selfishness?

Simple example from virtual world. People ask for likes on their pages but they don’t want to give likes for return. Why is that?

Some conclusions:

Well, i can’t promise you return. If you wish like my page , if you don’t want no problem. 

I am famous, so you need to kiss my knees, be happy because you are my friend.

I am too busy with myself, i have no time for others.

In generally, selfishness is ugly. You do many efforts to make close with selfish person, but she underestimate you. At the end you feel as an idiot.

An opposite, when you have friend who understand principle of reciprocity, you feel as you found your lost part. You give and receive. This is spontaneously, you don’t need to force or beg, simply that person knows that you are happy with such treatment.

Give and don’t expect nothing for return is incomplete thought. Maybe you don’t expect but for sure you will be disappointed if you don’t get what you wanted. Or, you are asking in wrong place?

This is your race, don’t forget to participate

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Do you ever get tired to do things for someone who will hardly move little finger for you? Are you tired to chase dream which is unreachable? Are you tired to deal with problems which are bigger and bigger every day?

Sometimes, life is a tunnel which is so dark that we can’t see path. We are walking as blind trying to find where is a little ray of light. As much we are trying, it is getting darker. People are deaf at your requests and even the closest one will not understand you.

This make me question, what i have in myself that everything is so hard to reach for me? Others solve problems easily and i am torching with it. I invest a lot, and i get so little. If i were farmer, i would spend a lot of seed and at the end i would sow some grass in best case.

I am trying to understand life, why i have so weak cards in this game and why i have to deal with so much obstacles for small results? Maybe i pay some bad karma or i am ungrateful for things i already have.

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As i am kind of fanatic, i don’t want to give up from my aim, so i use my extra bonus sources.

I find inspiration in those who succeed.

I make humor from my problems.

I got rid of everything and everyone who slow down my progress.

I look forward for every new day as possibility.

I remember things which were impossible for me, but i reach them anyway.

I look at life as on race in roller coaster. We go up and down and abyss is near , and i can fall in this abyss or hold on so strong that i can’t fall down. I live for triumph , for achievement. One of my favorite quotes said “those who will not risk, never drink champagne”, and i want to hold glass of champagne high to make cheers and toast .

Aren’t we live and suffer for those moment which makes us happy? No matter is this new love, birth of child, new job or lottery won? When you get your achievement, you forgot hard road with stones, wounds and lost nerves. No pain, no gain, even sometimes there is a pain and also no gain. The point is in possibility, if you never try, you will never have chance even to participate in the race.

Can you fight for your aim without help of others?

If you are one of those who know how to fit in, probably you have much friends. You have team, they stand behind your back and support you. Are you strong, powerful person? Can you say to your opponents: “Take care of me, cause my team will ruin your life. ” When ex Croatian tennis player Iva Majoli divorced from ex husband, her words were : “Beware of dark, it will swallow you.” Everyone who can count on gorillas, because of money, power or any other reasons, is not alone.

On opposite side, are you one of those who defend rights alone? 

Can you stand against crowd, lonely and without background, just with your principles behind you?

Imagine these situations:

You are in bus and radio is loud. You are the only one who complain. Yes or no?

Neighbor beats his wife. Others will not interfere, but you are the only one who will defend her. Yes or no?

You have friend at Facebook who constantly tag others. You are the only one who will remove tag. Yes or no?

Someone stand in front of you when you wait for line in restaurant. Others will be silent, will you yell on him?

Your boss makes mistake in important document. Are you the one who will warn him?

It is easy to be brave when crowd stand behind your back. You are powerful because gorilla Steve will break teeth to those who dare to touch you. Well, what if you are alone? There is quote : ” Force will break woods, but mind will rule with kingdom. ” Can you win as David against Goliath? 

Sheila was fragile girl. She was victim of bullying in high school. She did not allow to guys to touch her, so they use force and cut her part of hair. She complaint to headmaster. In this moment, she did not crying. Her face was calm and voice did not tremble. She collected her hair, and spread her palm in front of headmaster, with words: “They did this to me. ” Bullies were punished and Sheila was winner, without bullets. 

Just because you have parents, brothers, husband or friends, it doesn’t mean that they will always be with you. Some situations happen suddenly, without alert. Husband is maybe at business trip. Parents are maybe old and without power. Brother is on date with his girlfriend. And you are alone, against bullies, or against rude people who wish to hurt you, with force or words. That is situation why is important to use your character, because that is image of your real power.

I had friend teenager who was so cocky because of her popularity. She had the best clothes and the most handsome boyfriends. Well, when her own father slapped her in night club, because she did not come home at time, nobody helped her. She was weak and she cried as little baby. Nobody wanted to protect her, because it was family thing.

When you stand alone, count with this:

Don’t show fear .

Don’t change your mind.

Raise your voice. 

Don’t cry and don’t tremble.

Maybe you are fragile butterfly and gorillas might tear you, but your dignity is your weapon. If you don’t show teeth at least once, you will never go far. Courage is mother of respect, so be enough brave to gain respect of crowd.

Life in blog sphere

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“How is it going on blog? Are you earning a lot? ” My friend asked me this before a long time, and said also : “I would like to write blog, too. “

I did not want to discourage her and break her illusions. Writing blog is not simple how it looks. Mostly, people live in dreams that they will be popular over night and that they will learn a lot of money.

If someone ask me how much i earn, i will frankly say : nothing. I did not want to pay domain which is too expensive , to monetize my blog. I have regular job and i have no time to visit many blogs and to pull people on the sleeves. I gave them freedom to read me if they like my posts. Also, i don’t let people to promote themselves on my blog page. I think everyone should pay promotion if they wish.

I am person who will never pretend. If i comment your content, it means i really like this. I am not person who will put thousand likes on your post and then say : “Wow, now look at my blog. ” This is old trick, we all know that such “admiration” indeed means that i did not read your content and that i only wanted to be noticed.

Another thing which every beginner at blog afraid are haters. Well, i must wake you up. There are no haters, there are only silent, ignorant people. Believe me, millions of bloggers are on Internet, and if you gain haters, it means they read you. So, you should be grateful for haters.

I want that you pay attention on chatters. Yes, that are those desperate people who come under your post, without reading it, and then comment how they spent day.  So, i had “pleasure” to read chat under my post about “man who lost his mom in storm. ” My deep condolence, but i am not so merciful that i will let therapy under my blog post. This is not place for this, and yes, therapists are well paid.

Also, don’t listen to people who try to make you guilty. “Oh, you are so rude. Why we can’t post links under your blog. We are all equal here. ” No, equity and equality are two different things. I did not give you permission to post your links, but i did not do the same at your blog. How would you feel in the case if i post about football under your religious post? Because, i am big football fan, i will post about Neymar and Messi under your prayers, because we are all equal?

Now, it is not all black, so i must say thanks to some sincere people who got my posts serious and inspired me with their stories. So, if i post story about broken heart, and you write about partner who left you, you are welcome. Why not to share your story (without link, of course). I am happy if my post wake up your memories, if my post made you smile or if you are wondering about your feelings.

In blog sphere everyone can find smart people who are very friendly. They will offer you page to share your links and to follow each other. I will do it when it comes time.

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Here is something what i very like to use, spam tool. When i see that comment is out of topic, i simple open trash box. Yes, you can write critics, but you can’t go out of topics or invite me to use some pages which will bring me viruses. I love my computers and phone, enough not to open it.

Blogging is bloody work. Some people will try to educate you, to preach you, to mock you, others will just ignore you or try to spam your page. This is all in human nature, to compete, to play , to annoy. I understand even this, some people are so lonely that they don’t make difference between blog and inbox, between internet and reality.

I believe everyone of you met with boring neighbor who knock at your door even you did not invite him or her, who sat at your table even you just came from work or who is here to ask you money or thousand favors. These are some bloggers, boring neighbors.

Now after this post i will get some haters . Just kidding. 🙂