business · career · character · communication · crises · depression · destiny · relations

How we do the same mistakes again and again?

 

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Mistakes are part of life. When someone says that everything is going smooth all his life, that person lies, because reality is not video game. We never know what can go wrong and how many levels we need to skip for our score.

If you constantly learn on your mistakes, this price is very expensive. Sometimes is necessary to learn from others. Mistakes are problems with hidden chances and family roots. In your family is maybe person who failed in one situation, and now you are passing the same problem. Will you do the same or you wish to read previous book about this?

Louise had all chances for success. Pretty girl and talented teacher had many proposals for marriage, Problem was in her wild side, she was very stubborn and she left her home early, when she was 23. She found man and got marry for him, even he was only 19, not ready for marriage. She got pregnant so they lived in marriage for a year. He left her with excuse that he can’t be father , he was too young. After this Louise found another man, who was without job. They married and stayed together whole her life. He was not good husband. Lazy, aggressive, he dared to slap her even she was the one who earned money. Louise gave birth to 3 sons, all were lazy as their father. When school mate met Louise, she started to cry and talk about her failed life.

20 years later her niece Catherine was student . Also pretty and talented girl, she was studying law. Catherine had this family inheritance, stubborn character and wild nature. Her boyfriends were all the same, hooligans and bad ass guys. But, Catherine did not follow example of his aunt Louise. Her mother always talked her about Louise and her destiny. She used to say : “Don’t finish as Louise. You will work whole your life for some scumbag and even worse, if you will have kids, they will have the same gene. At the end, Catherine had fun with all that guys, but when it comes time to get marry, she listened mother’s advice. She got marry for man with aspirations, who was successful businessman.

If you learn on other’s mistakes, results are next:

You know the story and you can get different point.

You know where was the problem.

You are winner in this dead race.

You are spared of troubles.

When someone warned you about bad situation, this is battle with instructions. You know the enemy, you got weapons, now only your skills will decide about the result. If you can’t play good with good cards, you are loser. It is not necessary that you repeat mistake which was already done. You think that is not the same, so you will go at bottom together with your forerunner? That is suicide. You remind on man who jumps from the highest building, and hope that he will not hit  with his head on the concrete structure.

If you think that life always go with instructions, you are wrong. 

Sometimes, your fake friends will try to win over your back. Did you ever had friend who asked you to help her with choice of job, friends or even partner? “Tell me which friend is good. Which guy is good for me, can you tell me? What kind of job is good for me, can you help me?” Some people ask for nanny, to teach them how to avoid thorns and pick up roses. You are stupid if you go with bloody hands just to make safe ground for other person.

Mistakes in love are so painful. 

If we could only know how will our story end, we would spare ourselves of troubles. Well, sometimes, some signs will tell you that someone before you passed something similar. That scenario already happened. Now you can use that script for your sake. Be wise and learn. These kind of deja vu mistakes happened to someone who can’t fix it. You can do it if you can read between lines.

communication · cyber space · drama · dreams · ego · envy · erotica · illusion · internet · jealousy · relations

Why women should not propose their partners?

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Not everyone is thrilled by idea of marriage. Men especially want to prolong this time, until they can. One woman since death till us apart, that sounds terrified for many men. Especially when proposal did not come from him, man will think that he lives in nightmare.
Long relations are danger zone. After 5, 10 or even 15 years, woman will ask where is she standing. Or, where this relation goes? In kind of despair, woman will get an idea to propose his man, because he did not do this. I would say, don’t do this , ladies.
Here are 5 reasons why you should not propose your man.
He will feel as half a man.
You do his tasks? You took things in your hands? Well, be sure he will not be fascinated if you buy ring and ask him : “Yes or no?”
You will lost part of your dignity.
Every woman should know when to step back. This is in that case. Instead of force your man, back off.
He might say yes, but later this will be main reason for your conflict.
“This was your idea, not mine, remember?”
His friends, mother and his ex girlfriend could laugh to you.
This kind of things always swims out. Who proposed whom? If that was you, it will be subject of jokes.
You will lose this magic moment to make him in uncertainty.
So you will not see him what he really could do if he is afraid of losing you.
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Women have vision about guy with ring who will crawl to propose them. It will not be always like this. Cool proposal, without much noise, is good way for every man who doesn’t want to sound as cuckold. Ask her is she ready to spend life with you, kiss her and wait for reply.
I understand women who were many years alone or in frustrated relations, until their friends got married. Always maid of honor, never bride. Well, you can make influence on this, but you need to know the way.
If you decided to make him rush with proposal, do it on next way.
 
 
Make it as joke.
Tell him, you look gorgeous in white dress and his mother adores you anyway. If he is silent, don’t force this conversation. He will understand the point.
Don’t go directly. Make it as indirect way to proposal.
Tell him that you got many compliments from colleague, but that you said him about your serious relation, which leads to commitment.
Make a sentence : “once when i will be married for a guy”, and wait his reaction.
Men are not blind. They understand hints and symbolic way. They pretend that they are dumb, but be sure your man knows what he should do. If he doesn’t do this, he has a reason, because he is not sure.
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What is the worst thing you can do?
This is proposal on internet. You can make yourself ashamed, because this is something what others see. It will not be erased so easy. Especially, if your man is someone you did not meet for real.
Leslie did this with Douglas. They met online, on chat. They had virtual relation for a few months, and she felt this is it. Leslie was single so many years, she had some failed relations before, and she was lady in certain ages, over 30. So, what can happen worse? She proposed him on his page. She thought, it will be cool and she will make an impression as independent woman. Ooops. Douglas said short yes, but after this, he did not talked with her. He became silent as someone who got punishment. He was little boy in the corner, terrified from his older teacher. Of course, he was younger than Leslie.
Remember, what is so cool for us women, is not the same for men. You might think you look as Cat woman, Lara Croft  or some other  action heroine who took things in her hands. In his eyes, you look as kidnapper. Someone who stole his power to decide. You deserve to go away from him.
communication · couples · crises · destiny · drama · flirt · jealousy · life · lovers · relations

Did you try to refresh relation with your ex?

Ways of heart are strange  and love is unpredictable phenomenon. We can love same person twice because first time maybe we were not ready and mature enough to realize that is true love. Sometimes, couple will split and then make reunion again after a while because they missed each other too much and something left unsaid.

When is it possible, on which way you can fix your broken relation and start again?

Think about what separated you in past.

Reasons might be : 

 

if your partner went in another city and you meet him after some time, if you are both still single

– if you were both too young and your relation broke , so you can meet again in mature ages

– if tradition, religion, parents did not approve your love, you can split temporary or hide, then it is possible to continue relation in other circumstances

 

Just, be careful if you want to be together with the same person again.

That person can use fake reasons to misguide you for his selfish purpose.

For example in this cases:

you were poor, now you earn big money

 

– you were the one who broke relation, now your ex partner wants to get revenge

 

– that person just want to make someone else jealous

– that person is lonely and he doesn’t have anyone new in his mind, so he tries with safe option

Relations are as mirrors. Once they broke, you can fix them, but you still see through cracks. Also, the same mistakes are not allowed anymore, because every time you say or do something what broke your trust, it will be flashback. Oh no, you did it again? He is again turn around every time when pretty woman appears? She again spent your money in shopping without ask you permission?

Richard Burton and Elisabeth Taylor were twice in marriage. This famous couple passed through split and reunion, they split again but she was love of his life. They were proof that love is not enough.

The same happened to Sienna Miller and Jude Law, they split and they were together again, but they were not meant to each other.

When you start new relation, you are without burden because everything is new.

You will be more relaxed with someone who is unknown for you and for your heart. But when you start relation with same person twice, you are nervous, because it is like you are reading the same book twice. Maybe you missed something important so you did not understand the point?

 

That is individual, and everyone can try. If it doesn’t work again, remember why this happened. Problems which appeared for the first time are still here, in second form, because you can’t still solve this. That is the reason why you stuck in abyss and there is no way out.

business · career · communication · crises · egoism · freedom · mobbing · money · moral · relations

Mind your own business

 

Privacy is our secret box. We decide shall we share it with others or not. Also, when we open view to this box to someone, this is the way how we give that person key in hands. This is trust, and it can be used and abused.

If you expect that everybody will be grateful to you for giving them trust, you are wrong. Snake is a snake, and if you don’t know well human character, you will be surprised why particular person hurts you. Because , if you trust to snake, he or she will spit poison when you less expect.

Very important thing is, separate private stuffs from your work. People at work are our cooperators and they should not know about our privacy , not all details.

Here is the example. Woman who speaks on the phone during work time, about her daughter who needs to go to gynecologist and she is still a virgin. Oh, how she will handle man doctor, she is so shy? Why should we know about this?

Some questions are not allowed even on job interview.

For example:

Are you married?

– Do you have children?

– Do you plan to have children?

People should respect the privacy of others, but also you can’t allow to interfere your privacy with business, it is necessary to leave your private problems at home. How to receive clients if your eyes are full of tears? How to represent your new project if you are so angry on your children that you cannot focus at work?

When Justin Bieber broke up with Selena Gomez, she did not feel good, but she had public appearance and she smiled, as real professional girl. These are situation when we must handle our private falls and downs and continue with smile. This is how strong characters work.

Of course, some things in our life are not easy and if we think we can’t , it is time that someone replace us in important task. We need to notify someone that our problems are serious and it will be solved on other way. Sandra had car accident and she did not notify her cooperators that meeting will be delayed. She made monkeys from people. Yes, they understand that she is wounded, but she is not in coma and she had cell phone to notify them. That woman was really messed up.

We cannot ask apologies if we interfere others in our problems, and if we are causers of troubles. This is responsibility, and real test for adult people.

beauty · character · communication · couples · crises · depression · envy · erotica · relations

How we accidentally break hearts?

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Playing with feelings is cruel game. Any normal person can’t feel pleasure to left someone in tears or broken. In situation when ego is celebrating, conscience still regret, why should we hurt someone who did not deserve this?
If i ask you did you break someone’s heart, you might say no. Well, if you think deeper, you will remember past events when someone’s heart was broken, by your fault. You did not mean it, you did not do intentionaly, but damage is done.
If you are interesting woman, attractive, smart and sensitive, you will pull attention. Even your heart is focused on one guy, you can’t prevent yourself to be someone’s silent pain. You don’t know for him, you did not do anything, except you exist. Still, that person can consider you as heart breaker, because he imagined in his mind common life with you.
When is possible that you will break someone’s heart?
Your photos are on internet. You are pretty. Some guy will fall in love in you.
 
You are successful business woman. Your colleagues might try more with you.
 
You are sexy, your dress is provocative and others notice that.
 
You are target of gossips, because you change your partners.
 
You are friendly with guys. You might not think bad, but they wrongly understand signals.
  
Let’s meet Sandy. She is pretty , sexy, smart and in marriage. She is happily married and her husband is busy with his job, so she use social network to talk with people, and spread her friend circle. She captured interest of many guys. Then she draw line, she is not obligated to reply on all these messages.
Result is next:
Some guys deleted her, because she doesn’t want to talk.
Some guys insulted her, that she is nasty bitch.
Some guys blocked her.
Other guys wanted to see her husband, they consider him as rival.
Sandy was upset because her intentions were not bad. She was honest from the start, she published her wedding photos and she said that she is taken. Normal men accepted this and talked with her about policy, philosophy, even sport. They were gentlemen. Some of them even shown respect toward her husband. Other men said that she should close her page, because she is married. She had unpleasant time when guy opened profile with her photos. She did not want to vanish, because who are they to ask her what to do in her free time?
Can you avoid situation to break someone’s heart?
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In this case, don’t talk with this kind of men:
Too young guy.
He will not understand difference between dream and reality.
 
Loner.  
If man did not have girlfriend a long time or never, he might stalk you as maniac.
 
Too old guy.
He can see you as reason of his existence. 
 
Man who doesn’t understand word no. 
If you say him that you are busy, and he continues to bother you, block him or avoid him.
 
Man who opens his privacy on first sight.
If he jumps with his private details at first time you know him, he is desperate.
 
 
Everyone can be heart breaker. You will smile to someone and it will mean world to him. You will say hello and how are you, and certain man will stalk you, because he likes you. Don’t feel ashamed because someone cried for you, if you were fair from the start. If you don’t like someone’s attention, say this from beginning, don’t make false hope.
Guy with broken heart could turn into dangerous patient. Now, his illusion is gone, and he might hate you. Why you ruined his dream, why you made him miserable? If he tries to persuade you that he loves you, don’t trust him. Real love never involves force or blackmail. Real man will accept defeat and go forward.
Broken heart is not reality, this is just symbol for wrong target. He wanted someone who is not available. The best description of this story should be broken dream, not broken heart.
anxiety · behavior · character · communication · control · drama · psychology · relations

When you will put your hand on fire?

 

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Charles Darwin said : “Only the strongest survive.” What happens with people who are not so strong , will they vanish ? That kind of people deserve good defense. As lion will defend lioness, in human blood is to protect children and others who can’t stand for their rights alone.

What would you do for your dearest friends, brothers, sisters, and for your sweetheart if someone tried to hurt them? I believe, as much you despise violence , you would to everything to protect them from evil.

When i was little girl, i went with my younger sister in park, at playground. There was swing  and she was swinging . She was 4 years old, and i was 8. Suddenly, older boy came and start to push her, he wanted to swing too. I was afraid that she will fall and hurt herself, so i slapped him into face with fist. He pushed me, but i was so furious that i was punching him with all my strength so he started to cry from fear. I was little monster, and my father came to separate us. That boy never approached to me after this.

Now i am thinking on this way. I don’t afraid for myself because i am enough strong to resist to every threat. I afraid for people who are close to my heart. I believe that many people think on this way, because it is much easier to take care for yourself than for others. That is responsibility. You know yourself, you will get up after fall , you will arise from the dust. How it will be with others? Look at behavior of duck. She fly around to pull attention on herself, to protect  little ducks in the case of attack of wild animals. That is her instinct for survival, she will rather sacrifice herself for the sake of her little family.

Real face of friends and enemies is revealed when they are in danger. 

Mafia association is established on this basic rule: “once when you join to us , there is no way back, just in coffin. ” So they will hurt you and members of your family. If you drag your beloved people in your troubles, it will hurt you more than own death.

You will also guess thinking of kidnappers: “I want  money of this rich man and i will ask for big ransom, i will take away his daughter or son.”

Our beloved people are our Ahil’s feet. Everyone has a price, and once you press red button, that person is in your power.

 

If you are devoted person, this is your advantage because people can count on you. You are diamond treasure, so your friends are under your shelter. Bad side of this value is that someone can use your devotion in bad purposes, to take an advantage. Don’t be action hero for someone who doesn’t deserve this, there is no sense to put hand in fire for insignificant person. People who interfere in street fights are not always clever, they can get out with broken nose, and others will not say even thanks.

After all, devotion is protected and authorized. Not everyone is able to reach this, but those who have it, are lucky. It is nice when you are connected with someone who will put hand on fire for you .

Now, what do you think, who is worthy that you risk for him? Or, did you regret because you put hand on fire for wrong person?

business · career · communication · internet · psychology · relations · responsibility

Thank you 600 followers

Licking black cat

 

Before i continue with new posts, i wish to say thanks to my followers. Thanks for your attention, comments, suggestion and inspiration.

I am not typical blogger, i don’t write kind of diary as ” i had this for breakfast” cause i am not Beyonce that someone would be interested for that. I write stories from my experience and always protect my sources. Also, i don’t like when someone put link under my blog, i will always moderate this because i think promotion is good only when is allowed. If i want to follow your blog, i will do it by myself, i don’t need push button. Also i never put my links on other blogs, unless is theme about promoting blogs.

I like constructive comments, critics, also i comment under blogs which got my attention. Here are wonderful bloggers, it is also inspirational sourcing for me, cause i can learn a lot from other bloggers, especially cause English is not my mother tongue and i do mistakes in spelling or grammar. What i would never do, to hire professional translator. That would not be me. Also i am not expert for psychology and i would never interfere into professional area, to give some expert advices. My profession is law and i have rich life experience, so what i write, i write from my heart.

I hope my number of followers will increase more with time, and i wish you great inspiration on this start of new week.

behavior · character · communication · drama · egoism · freedom · friendship · relations

5 signs that your friend is a mole

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Word friendship is overrated. If you are naive, easy going person, you will call everyone your friend. There is classification, in which cases someone grows enough to be your friend.
1 level : acquaintance – person you met recently, and you like it at first sight
 
2 level : colleague – person who works with you, but you don’t know nothing at first sight about him
 
3 level : roommate – someone who lives with you by certain circumstances, if you are in dorm or rented flat, someone you share office because you work together
 
4 level :  friend, because you both want it
 
5 level : best friend, someone you can trust more than others
People often mix friendship with rivality. Rival or competitor is person who pretends friendship with you, but indeed she wants to compete with you and to do everything better than you. The trouble is, if you are better in some area, person will show envy and jealousy . She will try to sabotage you, and having such person in your circle is similar as you live with mole in your garden. So, here is flowers and green grass, but somehow it doesn’t smell like you expect. Something ruins that flowers.
As example of real rivality i will mention girl i knew before many years. Recently she met my mother and asked for me, even we did not see each other 15 years. Still, she wanted to know details about me, my partner, my job and what is going on. When we were friends, she was always comparing herself with me. If some guy would be interested for me, she would say : “He was flirting with me too. ”  If someone talked bad about me, she would pass me information with apology that she sorry for hear this. If she heard something good, she would make it as meaningless information. We broke our friendship when i realized that i don’t need this in my life. I had more respectful enemies, at least they did not pretend that they like me.
Even you maybe think that someone is your good friend, circumstances will show different view.
You will see is this connection between you and x person rivality or real friendship.
 
 
Your friend is close with your enemy. 
Ok, we have choice to whom we will talk, but if your friend spend more time with person who hurts you than with you, think about friendship.
Your friend is too spontaneous in company of your boyfriend.
If your friend wants to hug and kiss your boyfriend, and she says that she do this because of some “brotherly love”, think about real motives.
Your friend always forward you gossips.
“She talked bad about you. He laughed to you. I heard he doesn’t like you. ” Ok, it is not bad to know what others think about you, but if your friend constantly forward gossips, she maybe enjoys to make you sad.
Your friend is not here when you need him. Never.
Friendship is alley with two sides. You will do him favor, he will do it for you. Well, if you constantly give, and never take, if he is making excuses why he can’t help you, this is not real friendship.
Your friend is not happy when you are happy. 
More, he ask some tiny things to make your happiness smaller. For example, you got job in another city, and he says : “You will be so tired, by travelling every day. “
Moles are animals which do damage. Mole is symbol of cracked, ruined friendship, because someone doesn’t like you as you thought. Be careful when you deal with mole, because on long terms, this friendship is much worse than war with enemy.
With enemy, you know clear that he doesn’t like you. Mole will make your sight foggy, and you can get lost in this blind alley.
behavior · business · career · coincidence · communication · control · relations

Why some people always get late on meetings?

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You had deal to meet your friend in 11 a.m. She is again getting late, even you warned her last time that you don’t like it. Finally she came, with innocent smile on her face, after you waited her half hour. Will you forgive her because this is part of her personality? Person who is getting late is more than clumsy accord other’s feelings. She is unstable, distrustful and disrespectful.

Ok, if you think that is not a big deal, imagine situation where you are standing on open space, when outside is snow and wind, and you are waiting for person more than 15 minutes. For sure, this is not comfortable and you feel as a fool. Try to get late next time when you have deal with her, so let she feels how it is. Experiences learnt us, we got the point after we pass through the same things , when we did not believed to others how hard it is.

 

Some situations are unpredictable and you will get late as much you try to come on time. Person with good manners will take cell phone to make a call or send message. “Sorry i will be late. Can you wait me 10 minutes or we can deal for another time?”

Imagine that you are at work and you have deal with client. He expect you , and you can’t come at time. It happened to David, and he did not give a shit. He is lawyer and he had deal for meeting with his client, a woman who had problems with divorce. David had messy private life, and she was at lunch with mistress when his client called him that he forgot their deal. Also, she travelled from another city to meet with him. David simply forgot about this, and he said “let’s meet another time”, but his client cancelled all. He was not trustful .

People who will late at dates are special category. 

Wilma waited for his boyfriend Rob half hour, she was freezing in short skirt, accord his wishes. He came with his friend , after she was red in face and she already started coughing. “Sorry , we were at shopping to get some booze. ” It was very funny to them, because they were drunk, but Wilma felt humiliated, less important and underestimated.

Nowadays everyone owe cell phone, internet coffee bars are available on every corner, and it is impossible not to make a good deal or to apologize if you had something urgent. Yes, someone can kidnap you or you can get bad news, but if you are repeating bad pattern, nobody will trust you. Or, if you tolerate someone who is getting late , you will always wait much longer than you realized.

character · communication · control · crises · depression · ego · egoism · energy · relations

Patience is overrated

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Mabel is taking her little daughter in the market. She always did the same scene. Bunch of chocolates are in her hands and she wants to open and eat immediately. Mabel is gentle mother and she knows that little Tara will cry if she will not get her favorite candies. But her teeth are not in well condition and too much sugar is not healthy for child. So this time she said no. Tara started to scream, and she did not shut up until Mabel slapped her. She did not hit her hard but it was useful. Tara stopped to cry and her face was just grumpy, but next time she did not ask for a candy.

Patience is wonderful thing. Some people have ocean of patience and you can move their limits into the sky. Your friend came at your door every day when you came tired from work. How to reject her, she is so kind. You want to take a nap and you said to her that she came in another time, but she said she is busy later. 

During life we will need large doses of patience. When you wait for your turn into market and moron in front of you is counting small coins or his master card is not valid. When you go to the dentist and old granny is there for an hour, without intention to get out. When your husband don’t want to throw garbage even it smells for a days. 

What to do when your patience is over limits?

You can do things which other don’t want to do for you, alone. 

Remember this when someone will ask favor from you, and don’t do it for that person, for return.

You can force person to learn on hard way. 

Use aggression if you need. Violence is not the way, but sometimes is effective when other tools will not work out.

Get out from situations which makes you frustrated. 

You don’t need friend who will not respect your free time, stalkers, pests who don’t understand your needs and wishes.

Use joker. Find person or occupation who will replace others. 

Ok, i have no luck with this job and this guy, but there are other people who loves me and i will spend more time with them. Also i have hobbies which can make me happy, i play tennis, i play bridge and there people appreciate me, so i don’t need to spend time with boyfriend or friends who are always stubborn when i ask something from them.

It is very familiar that nice words will open every door. When kindness is not more effective and when patience is at the end, another options are in the game. Time is money, and having patience means you are wasting your time. Why wait this jerk to call you and he is always getting late? Why work at this job for a years and they can’t say even thanks for all what you do for them?

When you are treating someone with patience, you give benefits to that person. He is testing your nerves. You will see how much is easier to deal with someone else, when patience will not be even option. Someone who will do things for you without you even ask. How easier is now, when someone do special things for you, and you don’t have to spend hours and nerves to get what you want?

People are as ground. You can seed everywhere, but flowers will not grow in dry landscape.