behavior · character · control · crime · cyber space · egoism · envy · erotica · relations

Don’t steal what is not yours

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Modesty is one of values. It is connected with respect of others, that we should not touch something what is not ours. Don’t steal, don’t desire other’s partners, don’t be greedy. You are satisfied with your life, your car and even if you are not, don’t blame others.

Some people will say – never enough. They will run over corpses, they will push you during their race, all until the day when they will regret it. It is alright to be ambitious and to desire more. Now, here is the question, how to make harmony between modesty and your wishes to get more?

Let’s take a look about story of Sybil. She is married woman, with one pretty daughter and devoted husband. She has 42 years. She got bored in marriage so she made profile at Facebook and find virtual lover. They made fake profile together and everybody in virtual life know about them as couples. After some time she got bored with this virtual sweetness, cyber sex and attention so she started to look at other social networks for new young guys to please her wishes. She doesn’t care if that guy has a girl, if she could hurt feelings of some girl with posting her erotic photos on their pages. One day someone hacked her page, and she became hurt, after long time. She thought that nobody can stop her. But someone did, and even worse, she was reported for posting pornography and admins of social networks deleted her page. It was not the end, her daughter find erotic video from her mum with masturbating and she had conversation with shrink. All family went into crises. They could not understand what kind of monster Sybil was. She had everything, but she wanted jealousy of other people, fight, envy, publicity. She paid for this.

When you enter into other’s space, this is like in football. You try to get your score, but someone can throw you and hit you very hard. Life is rough game. If you think that you can humiliate others, don’t expect that you will not get paycheck. Don’t justify your acts with ambitious wishes.

World is big place.

Is it necessary to ruin other’s happiness because you want more?

You don’t have to steal other job or position at work to be happy. 

You don’t have to seduce other’s husbands to please your wishes. 

If you grab into other’s property, you can stay without hand and lose everything. 

How would you feel that someone kiss your husband or to gossip you in front of your boss, just to sit on your chair at work?

I don’t want what is not mine, but also i protect what is mine. Once when someone starts unfair game, there are no rules. All is allowed in the name of justice, and that kind of intruders will get what they deserve.

business · character · control · discrimination · egoism · mobbing · moral · relations

Where is difference between good boss and dictator?

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Obligations and rights are connected. If you are obligated to do something, you have right to ask other things for return. Especially at work, workers have rights and obligations.

In generally, we are humans. If you work at office, you are educated and you deserve appropriate treatment.

Your supervisor, headmaster, boss is not a king neither dictator.

Some bosses have this kind of requests.

 

Knock at my door before you enter.

 

Check what i wrote to you, because i have no time to read what i wrote, read between lines.

 

All important places on documents should be marked with post it papers, in different colors. I have no time to read complete document.

 

Bring me coffee in the morning.

 

Can you take my bag when you are going on business meeting with me?

 

Help me with computer, i am new in this technology age, and some things i don’t know. But i am boss so why should i know?

 

I am always right, because this is hierarchy.

So let suppose that we please all this wishes. Now we need something for return.

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What we will get?

 

If you complain on your boss, go to higher boss. Higher boss will talk with your supervisor, and circle is closing. Of course, try to work harder and you will not have reason to complain.

 

If you are working on the same document or project six months, and your boss doesn’t want to accept your idea, that work will never be finished.

You must copy paste what your boss said.

 

You have problematic client? Try to be calm and reply to him or her, million times if that is necessary.

Even your client is ready for mental hospital, you must have abilities of shrink to guess his wishes.

Some bosses forgot that we live in the age of democracy.

We are not slaves. We know that nobody can’t cut our heads. Also we have brain and ideas. Just because someone is on high position, it doesn’t mean that person is the smartest and genius. It has different meaning. Boss can be person who built career on fake kindness. Right words on right time and right place and here we are. I know person who was always late at work, he had alcoholic problems. But when structure of firm changed, he was the first one who run from office to office to ask for his rights. He was orphan and victim. New people on the top trusted him so he got position as boss of the department.

If we are making mistakes we can’t judge others for the same just because our position is better.

If responsibility exist, it must be justified no matter who did wrong. We can’t punish people accord positions, so person on high level will get smaller punishment. There should not be saint cows.

Every obligation has background. Besides, how we will motivate our workers, if their salaries are small, if we don’t give them enough free days and if they must work sick or under pressure?

Underestimated person is as donkey. You can beat him, but he will still stand on one place. There authority fails, because if you don’t respect your colleague, he will not respect you either and system will fail.

business · character · control · depression · destiny · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · luck · relations

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

beauty · behavior · clubbing · control · cyber · drama · ego · fashion · relations

Guys without shirts

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I was always impressed with men who try to gain attention in clubs by their way of clothing or dancing. That was not impression in good meaning, it was more something what gave smirk on my face.  Guy who tries to show break dance, which was popular during eighties. Guy who wears shirt with titles ” I am not gynecologist but i can check every vagina. “ Guy who wears trousers with so many holes that you can see his pants through this.

What impressed me the most were guys who love to go in night clubs without shirts, to show their torso in hope that they will get lucky. This summer i was with my husband in night club with dress code, where is not allowed to enter without shirt despite of summer temperatures. They like to keep their rating, so many security guards around watched visitors to make their rules safe.

In the middle of the party i saw guards around guy who undressed himself . He shown his torso with muscles (not bad view) and jump on the wall, that everyone can see him. Guards surrounded him and ordered to get dress. He rejected this and negotiations started. When he saw that he will be kicked out, he took his shirt ( he had elegant white shirt), but he was so drunk that he could not deal with buttons. It was very funny scene, guy was buttoning his shirt (probably he saw double or triple amounts of buttons) and his hands were shaking from nervous breakdown. All the time security guard was standing near him, to be sure that he will finish his work. Finally, guy was dressed and he could back to the party.

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I wonder here, what is the point of guys who like striptease in clubs?

They hope to get laid.

Sure, all women will jump on guy without shirt. We can’t wait.

They hope that someone will notice them so they will become famous.

Instagram is not enough, maybe someone can see you and you will earn as model. Yeah, sure.

They try to show how they jump out from crowd.

Hard work in gyms, it has to be exposed. Let everyone see my muscles, i was working hard.

What can happen is far from fairy tale.

Women will think that you are jerk who only wish sex. Really, which girl want to drink with half naked guy ? His intentions are visible from space.

Guards can throw you out. Mostly, clubs which are not purposed as places for half naked people will care for their rating. Also, guards see problems there, who can took out shirt will be ready for fight too.

You can be injured. Someone hits you in naked back , burn cigarette on naked skin, it will not be funny. 

Another part of this story are guys which bodies are not so perfect. There is nothing worse for us woman to see old drunker with fat hanging belly without shirt. Red in face and walking with hairy chests around, that is not how woman imagine prince charming. Before all, women run from such men.

No, i am not traditional, just as person who visits parties many years, i think every place has purpose. Parties on the beach in afternoon are full of half naked women and men, and this is normal. Foam party, after party on the beach, that are places for men who like to show their musculature. You will see woman is swimsuit there and she will drink cocktail with you without shame.

Closed night clubs are another story. Guys will say : “What the fuck, nobody will order to me. I will come in pants or naked if i wish. “ Wrong one, cause always is there someone who can get you embarrassed or even worse. In such story, amateur striptease is not welcome.

How this story ends? Guy without shirt is kicked out , collecting his teeth one by one, without women he wanted to seduce and with some scratches if he got lucky. If not, he will visit emergency. In the case he tries to get back again, he will play role of pancake, guards will make punching bag from him, as in cartoon.

Real man doesn’t need this show. He will undress himself in private place, for the woman who wants him. Not every woman needs to see his muscles, chests, tattoo, just to fall down on her knees. The  moment when such guys speak loud, you will see with whom you are hanging out.

character · control · couples · drama · dreams · energy · illusion · relations

Why men should stand behind their women?

Basic instinct of every man is to care for his woman. Either to bring her food or drink, either to protect her from another men. Mature man will know how to face it with some jackass who wish to stole their girlfriend, but young guys will be in dilemma, how to protect their honor and not to hurt their better half with aggressive behavior.

I heard story about this topic from my friend. He went to date with younger girl and they visited night club. While he was in toilet, she was in the corner, dancing and waiting for him. Suddenly, other guy approached her and offered her drink. She accepted. When my friend came back, his girlfriend was chatting and drinking cocktail with unknown guy. He reacted impulsive, he wanted to get out and fight with the competition. But, when that other guy accepted invitation , he suddenly gave up. My friend explained this : “Why to beat somebody because my girl accepted his drink? She should not accept this because she came with me. At least, she pretended that i am not here.  “

The biggest problem you will ever have with men is when you do things under their back. Of course, you are not his dog and he can’t put you on leash, but you need to share trust with him. If you are with him, why to flirt with others, even in front of his eyes?

I remember situations when i was waiting my husband to bring me beer. Guys sometimes approached to me, to check am i alone, with friends, or boyfriend. I would smile and show that i am not alone and always rejected drinks. I am not poor and can buy my own drink. When you accept drink from stranger, this is invitation for talk. So, he broke ice and now you are available for him, no matter even you are not single. When you go out with your partner, you will not be all the time together with him. This is normal, he will go to toilet, say hello to his friends, bring you drink. You will say hello to your friends. You are not his sticker, and sometimes it may cause confusion, because guys are trying to catch some free woman. If you are attractive, chances are bigger that you might get into trouble.

Once i saw beautiful girl in night club, she was dancing alone while her partner was sitting at the stairs. He was not interested for techno dance, so he was just watching from the main floor. Guys were approaching her, one by one, to talk, even to be rejected, just to try. She was kind but cold. It was professional kindness, i could almost read this “do not disturb” title on her face.

On other hand, which guy will threat to other guy, who only tried to get attention? If rival is decent, if he knows limits, there is no problem with word no. If you have bad luck, you will meet someone as Joe. Joe was guy i used to know. He adores dance, and he was spinning around every girl on the floor. He did not even ask is girl without partner. So he got some punches in the face.

Sometimes, girl will cause incident, just to feed her ego.
If you are not that guy who will fight as Steven Segal, she will call you pussy or sissy. You need to use common sense if you wish to punch other guy, is he really deserved this? What if he is her boss from work or just nerd from school who wanted to remain her on exam?

Now, in which situation is necessary to start fight?

When other guy doesn’t give up from flirt with your girlfriend.

When other guy pushed you. So he already started.

When other guy insulted your girlfriend.

When other guy try to kiss your girlfriend.

In this world, not everyone is gentleman. Some men are jerks and it is hard to explain that woman in short skirt  is not available for everyone. She dressed up for her partner, not for everyone in the club. She did not want to challenge you, she wanted to be pretty for her partner. Glass of alcohol, angry guy and fight can start. Are you bodyguard with licence or you just slapped wrong guy, who only wanted to say hello to your girlfriend?

character · control · couples · crime · cyber space · drama · dreams · ego · relations

Where is your weak spot?

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The way how we pass through obstacles shows magnitude of our character. How we handle burden, it depends of our strength. Human is not a machine, and every person owes weak spot.

So, when someone wants to hurt you, to use you or to make fool from you, that person will hit you into your weak spots, weakest targets where you never expected explosion.

Ahil was Greek hero, and accord legend his weak spot was his feet. So when arrow hit his feet,  Trojan prince Paris killed him. He knew about his weak spot.

When conflict starts, our rival will try to find weakness. It will be something you most care about and you can’t live without it. This means, your beloved treasure is your suicide bomb.

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Be careful to protect your sensitive areas.

your children

– your honor

– your job

– your money

– beloved husband or wife

This example shows what happens when person reveals her weak spot.

 

Amy was very strong woman, she raised after every problem, and she knew how to carry her burden. She accepted that life did not treat her well and life struggles were her reality. Then she met Bob. He was kind, romantic, sweet as little boy. Behind his sweet face was manipulative nature. He was indeed spoiled son of his mother, and every wrong word made him frustrated. He loved attention, and he was surrounded by many women. Amy did not like that, because women at his workplace were rude toward her, even older women acted like she doesn’t exist. So they had argument and Bob decided to split.

Amy handled this as usual, she was ready to continue with her life. But she was unpleasantly surprised when people at her work laughed to her when she came to office. Bob passed through email her photo in sexy underwear with whip in her hands, the photo she sent to him as gift for his birthday. She was embarrassed. Then she cried for a first time. Bob felt finally that he is winning. He found her weak spot, it was her honor and dignity. It was worse than slap in her face. Amy has changed workplace but she never forgot what he did. From that event she has never sent similar photos to anyone. She learnt that trust is fragile value.

 

Conclusion: if you don’t trust someone, if you doubt in good intention of some people, think about. Do they have something dangerous to hurt you? Don’t give them weapon in their hands.

 

If someone knows how to use your weak spot, you will be defeated even by cowards. Also, think about other weaknesses. Just for own sake, as kind of security key, think about what kind of tool you might have for this cruel game.

behavior · control · couples · drama · dreams · flirt · illusion · lovers · marriage · relations

What if your soulmate is already taken?

 

It is not rarity that we fall in love in someone who is already taken. Heart doesn’t know for status, so we will keep our feelings even there is no hope to realize that love. Also, this is question of morality, why to involve in other relation and hurt someone? It could also happen to us so let’s not do something what can hit us as boomerang.

Sometimes, this forbidden person is not in so happy relation and if we discover this, chances are bigger. Everyone knows about familiar story Brangelina, when Angelina Jolie seduced Brad Pitt even he was in formal marriage with Jennifer Aniston. If they were so happy, that marriage would last. There was a hole and Angelina passed through this hole.

People stay in some relations, not always because they can’t live without each other. Sometimes, they will afraid to be alone or to hurt their partners, so they will stay even it doesn’t make them happy.

So, when you meet someone who is already taken, and you wish to involve, develop next strategy:

Ask your friends do they know something about this marriage or relation.

If person send you signals, accept this and try to make close with him or her.

If you are involved in love triangle, ask your rights. It means, ask him to break his regular relation.

Don’t wait too long. As much you wait, your chances are smaller.

Take your time and choose moment, don’t let your partner to delay. Sometimes, owner of your heart will sit on two chairs and this status quo situation will be comfortable for him.

Norma was manual worker, in cotton factory. She was young, only 23, when she fall in love in his boss Sam. He was 20 years older than she, and married, about 10 years. He did not agree with his wife, they had no children and conflicts between them were unbearable. But, his wife did not wish divorce, because they were both rich and she did not want to lose her comfortable zone. Norma and  Sam get involved after 6 months, and his wife found out for them. It was rough time, but Norma did not want to give up. So finally Sam got divorce, after she accepted some financial terms. He gave car and flat to his wife and she let him go. Now days, Sam and Norma were married couple, with two daughters.

When couples split because of third person, they will accuse each other for betrayal or fraud. 
Indeed, if they break up, it is not because someone invades in other space. They simply lost interest or they did not work on relation. If they had much conflicts, or if they simply pushed their problems away, with time this relation will be just empty bag. Plans did not realize, they are disappointed and appearance of third person is just an alert.

In opposite case, if couples love each other, if they spend much time together and they are devoted, third person will be only stone on the road. They will hit that stone far away. Then status taken has sense, because it doesn’t include nobody else.

behavior · business · career · control · crises · egoism · energy · relations

Can you recognize control freak?

 

 

Surprises are part of life. We never know what expects us today or tomorrow, we can’t predict all possible situations and changes. This unpredictable life is beautiful because opportunities are everywhere. Surprises can be good or bad, but we can’t control them.

Rhonda had awful habit to check everything around her. She would lock the door twice before she went out. She was also calling her husband anytime when he did not come at home in expected time. The worst part of her personality she shown at workplace. Her colleagues were terrified of her emails. Every mail had option of confirmation, and if someone did not replied on her email, she was yelling why they did not do it. Her dream was big umbrella , that would be shelter for all people she knew , with purpose that they act accord their wishes.

Once her son teenager went to birthday party. She called him three times to check is everything all right. At the end her son said to her: “You are really annoying. Why don’t you leave me alone? I will be drunk so much that you will call the doctor.” She really upset him.

Rhonda did not understand that she is burden for people around her. She wanted to save the world, but it was impossible mission. Her husband broke leg and she did not have power under it. It was sign that her control freak behavior is not welcomed. That was kind of alert, she did not realize that is impossible to control events and people around her.

Control freaks are possessive and obsessive people. They want kind of power and their behavior is overprotective. If person expose mother’s instinct or jealousy in large amounts, control freak is on the way. Under that behavior is fear that something bad will happen, that things will run away from expected directions and what is the worst result, we can’t stop it. What if my son get drunk? What if my husband will cheat me around, that new girl in office is gorgeous? So i will stalk him or call every hour, he will not have chance to do it.

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How other people react on control freaks? 
Nobody likes it. You can get insulted from anybody if you will try to put him in chains. This is like you want to create invisible handcuffs. Did you expect that your beloved person will give you report about his activities? You are wrong.

Don’t try to cut someone’s wings, don’t spy in private space and also if you do it, control is the worst way. 

You will get an opposite result. People will runaway from you and they will hide things in front of you. You thought that someone will give you keys into their privacy? See what happened, your trespass in other privacy got an answer. Next time when you will try to open secret door, you will find double lock.

anxiety · behavior · character · communication · control · drama · psychology · relations

When you will put your hand on fire?

 

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Charles Darwin said : “Only the strongest survive.” What happens with people who are not so strong , will they vanish ? That kind of people deserve good defense. As lion will defend lioness, in human blood is to protect children and others who can’t stand for their rights alone.

What would you do for your dearest friends, brothers, sisters, and for your sweetheart if someone tried to hurt them? I believe, as much you despise violence , you would to everything to protect them from evil.

When i was little girl, i went with my younger sister in park, at playground. There was swing  and she was swinging . She was 4 years old, and i was 8. Suddenly, older boy came and start to push her, he wanted to swing too. I was afraid that she will fall and hurt herself, so i slapped him into face with fist. He pushed me, but i was so furious that i was punching him with all my strength so he started to cry from fear. I was little monster, and my father came to separate us. That boy never approached to me after this.

Now i am thinking on this way. I don’t afraid for myself because i am enough strong to resist to every threat. I afraid for people who are close to my heart. I believe that many people think on this way, because it is much easier to take care for yourself than for others. That is responsibility. You know yourself, you will get up after fall , you will arise from the dust. How it will be with others? Look at behavior of duck. She fly around to pull attention on herself, to protect  little ducks in the case of attack of wild animals. That is her instinct for survival, she will rather sacrifice herself for the sake of her little family.

Real face of friends and enemies is revealed when they are in danger. 

Mafia association is established on this basic rule: “once when you join to us , there is no way back, just in coffin. ” So they will hurt you and members of your family. If you drag your beloved people in your troubles, it will hurt you more than own death.

You will also guess thinking of kidnappers: “I want  money of this rich man and i will ask for big ransom, i will take away his daughter or son.”

Our beloved people are our Ahil’s feet. Everyone has a price, and once you press red button, that person is in your power.

 

If you are devoted person, this is your advantage because people can count on you. You are diamond treasure, so your friends are under your shelter. Bad side of this value is that someone can use your devotion in bad purposes, to take an advantage. Don’t be action hero for someone who doesn’t deserve this, there is no sense to put hand in fire for insignificant person. People who interfere in street fights are not always clever, they can get out with broken nose, and others will not say even thanks.

After all, devotion is protected and authorized. Not everyone is able to reach this, but those who have it, are lucky. It is nice when you are connected with someone who will put hand on fire for you .

Now, what do you think, who is worthy that you risk for him? Or, did you regret because you put hand on fire for wrong person?

beauty · behavior · business · career · character · control · drama · ego · relations

How to recognize drama queen?

 

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Life will punish us with bad experiences on one way or another, but our reactions are not the same. Some of us will keep problems inside, suffer quietly and nobody will know about this. Others will yell and notify world about their “tragedies”, as it is event number one.
If your better half is drama queen, you are victim of emotional flood and every word you say can be understand on wrong way.
“Why you look at me like that? My haircut is bad? Oh i know i look fat in this trousers. But you should tell me this into face. “
 
Clint was in relation with Sandra and he was walking on the ice all the time. Few times she embarrassed him in publicity because she could not hide her moods. She was witch with broomstick and her friend circle was very small.
Drama queen is usually woman, but also some guys are very good in that.  It happens especially if there is connection with their career and promotion. Gordon got new job and his boss was harsh with him first few days. He complaint to Union after few weeks, even he was new in that workplace. He left very bad impression on others, because it was something what people remember. This drama king could not stay quiet even when he changed job.
Internet is great place for drama queens. See what happens when someone is angry and wish to delete page.
“I am sad. Someone piss me off so badly. Sorry people i am going. Forever. Go to hell.”
After this, the same person opens fake page or watch around for reactions. This kind of person wish to die, but also she wants to be notified who will come at her funeral. Wow, so much people. What, nobody care? Bastards and idiots never cared for me.
Drama queen could be easy recognized in 5 characteristics.
Immature person who cries for everything. Bad mark at school, bad day, broken nail.
 
She likes to gossip, because there is seed of possible drama.
 
She is never quiet. If she doesn’t cry, she laughs loudly.
 
If she has boyfriend, everyone knows about this in next 24 hours.
 
She is author of haunt stories. She lives life with full lungs, but also she imagine things and exaggerate with details.
Drama queen never heard for balance. So if you wish to get rid of her, don’t show any reactions. This movie you don’t want to see, and she needs audience.