Can you recognize control freak?

 

 

Surprises are part of life. We never know what expects us today or tomorrow, we can’t predict all possible situations and changes. This unpredictable life is beautiful because opportunities are everywhere. Surprises can be good or bad, but we can’t control them.

Rhonda had awful habit to check everything around her. She would lock the door twice before she went out. She was also calling her husband anytime when he did not come at home in expected time. The worst part of her personality she shown at workplace. Her colleagues were terrified of her emails. Every mail had option of confirmation, and if someone did not replied on her email, she was yelling why they did not do it. Her dream was big umbrella , that would be shelter for all people she knew , with purpose that they act accord their wishes.

Once her son teenager went to birthday party. She called him three times to check is everything all right. At the end her son said to her: “You are really annoying. Why don’t you leave me alone? I will be drunk so much that you will call the doctor.” She really upset him.

Rhonda did not understand that she is burden for people around her. She wanted to save the world, but it was impossible mission. Her husband broke leg and she did not have power under it. It was sign that her control freak behavior is not welcomed. That was kind of alert, she did not realize that is impossible to control events and people around her.

Control freaks are possessive and obsessive people. They want kind of power and their behavior is overprotective. If person expose mother’s instinct or jealousy in large amounts, control freak is on the way. Under that behavior is fear that something bad will happen, that things will run away from expected directions and what is the worst result, we can’t stop it. What if my son get drunk? What if my husband will cheat me around, that new girl in office is gorgeous? So i will stalk him or call every hour, he will not have chance to do it.

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How other people react on control freaks? 
Nobody likes it. You can get insulted from anybody if you will try to put him in chains. This is like you want to create invisible handcuffs. Did you expect that your beloved person will give you report about his activities? You are wrong.

Don’t try to cut someone’s wings, don’t spy in private space and also if you do it, control is the worst way. 

You will get an opposite result. People will runaway from you and they will hide things in front of you. You thought that someone will give you keys into their privacy? See what happened, your trespass in other privacy got an answer. Next time when you will try to open secret door, you will find double lock.

When you will put your hand on fire?

 

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Charles Darwin said : “Only the strongest survive.” What happens with people who are not so strong , will they vanish ? That kind of people deserve good defense. As lion will defend lioness, in human blood is to protect children and others who can’t stand for their rights alone.

What would you do for your dearest friends, brothers, sisters, and for your sweetheart if someone tried to hurt them? I believe, as much you despise violence , you would to everything to protect them from evil.

When i was little girl, i went with my younger sister in park, at playground. There was swing  and she was swinging . She was 4 years old, and i was 8. Suddenly, older boy came and start to push her, he wanted to swing too. I was afraid that she will fall and hurt herself, so i slapped him into face with fist. He pushed me, but i was so furious that i was punching him with all my strength so he started to cry from fear. I was little monster, and my father came to separate us. That boy never approached to me after this.

Now i am thinking on this way. I don’t afraid for myself because i am enough strong to resist to every threat. I afraid for people who are close to my heart. I believe that many people think on this way, because it is much easier to take care for yourself than for others. That is responsibility. You know yourself, you will get up after fall , you will arise from the dust. How it will be with others? Look at behavior of duck. She fly around to pull attention on herself, to protect  little ducks in the case of attack of wild animals. That is her instinct for survival, she will rather sacrifice herself for the sake of her little family.

Real face of friends and enemies is revealed when they are in danger. 

Mafia association is established on this basic rule: “once when you join to us , there is no way back, just in coffin. ” So they will hurt you and members of your family. If you drag your beloved people in your troubles, it will hurt you more than own death.

You will also guess thinking of kidnappers: “I want  money of this rich man and i will ask for big ransom, i will take away his daughter or son.”

Our beloved people are our Ahil’s feet. Everyone has a price, and once you press red button, that person is in your power.

 

If you are devoted person, this is your advantage because people can count on you. You are diamond treasure, so your friends are under your shelter. Bad side of this value is that someone can use your devotion in bad purposes, to take an advantage. Don’t be action hero for someone who doesn’t deserve this, there is no sense to put hand in fire for insignificant person. People who interfere in street fights are not always clever, they can get out with broken nose, and others will not say even thanks.

After all, devotion is protected and authorized. Not everyone is able to reach this, but those who have it, are lucky. It is nice when you are connected with someone who will put hand on fire for you .

Now, what do you think, who is worthy that you risk for him? Or, did you regret because you put hand on fire for wrong person?

How to recognize drama queen?

 

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Life will punish us with bad experiences on one way or another, but our reactions are not the same. Some of us will keep problems inside, suffer quietly and nobody will know about this. Others will yell and notify world about their “tragedies”, as it is event number one.
If your better half is drama queen, you are victim of emotional flood and every word you say can be understand on wrong way.
“Why you look at me like that? My haircut is bad? Oh i know i look fat in this trousers. But you should tell me this into face. “
 
Clint was in relation with Sandra and he was walking on the ice all the time. Few times she embarrassed him in publicity because she could not hide her moods. She was witch with broomstick and her friend circle was very small.
Drama queen is usually woman, but also some guys are very good in that.  It happens especially if there is connection with their career and promotion. Gordon got new job and his boss was harsh with him first few days. He complaint to Union after few weeks, even he was new in that workplace. He left very bad impression on others, because it was something what people remember. This drama king could not stay quiet even when he changed job.
Internet is great place for drama queens. See what happens when someone is angry and wish to delete page.
“I am sad. Someone piss me off so badly. Sorry people i am going. Forever. Go to hell.”
After this, the same person opens fake page or watch around for reactions. This kind of person wish to die, but also she wants to be notified who will come at her funeral. Wow, so much people. What, nobody care? Bastards and idiots never cared for me.
Drama queen could be easy recognized in 5 characteristics.
Immature person who cries for everything. Bad mark at school, bad day, broken nail.
 
She likes to gossip, because there is seed of possible drama.
 
She is never quiet. If she doesn’t cry, she laughs loudly.
 
If she has boyfriend, everyone knows about this in next 24 hours.
 
She is author of haunt stories. She lives life with full lungs, but also she imagine things and exaggerate with details.
Drama queen never heard for balance. So if you wish to get rid of her, don’t show any reactions. This movie you don’t want to see, and she needs audience.

Why some people always get late on meetings?

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You had deal to meet your friend in 11 a.m. She is again getting late, even you warned her last time that you don’t like it. Finally she came, with innocent smile on her face, after you waited her half hour. Will you forgive her because this is part of her personality? Person who is getting late is more than clumsy accord other’s feelings. She is unstable, distrustful and disrespectful.

Ok, if you think that is not a big deal, imagine situation where you are standing on open space, when outside is snow and wind, and you are waiting for person more than 15 minutes. For sure, this is not comfortable and you feel as a fool. Try to get late next time when you have deal with her, so let she feels how it is. Experiences learnt us, we got the point after we pass through the same things , when we did not believed to others how hard it is.

 

Some situations are unpredictable and you will get late as much you try to come on time. Person with good manners will take cell phone to make a call or send message. “Sorry i will be late. Can you wait me 10 minutes or we can deal for another time?”

Imagine that you are at work and you have deal with client. He expect you , and you can’t come at time. It happened to David, and he did not give a shit. He is lawyer and he had deal for meeting with his client, a woman who had problems with divorce. David had messy private life, and she was at lunch with mistress when his client called him that he forgot their deal. Also, she travelled from another city to meet with him. David simply forgot about this, and he said “let’s meet another time”, but his client cancelled all. He was not trustful .

People who will late at dates are special category. 

Wilma waited for his boyfriend Rob half hour, she was freezing in short skirt, accord his wishes. He came with his friend , after she was red in face and she already started coughing. “Sorry , we were at shopping to get some booze. ” It was very funny to them, because they were drunk, but Wilma felt humiliated, less important and underestimated.

Nowadays everyone owe cell phone, internet coffee bars are available on every corner, and it is impossible not to make a good deal or to apologize if you had something urgent. Yes, someone can kidnap you or you can get bad news, but if you are repeating bad pattern, nobody will trust you. Or, if you tolerate someone who is getting late , you will always wait much longer than you realized.

Why some women stalk beloved men?

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Harassment is sign of despair. When person try to get with force something what he cannot get on nice way, that is call for help. In many cases women will talk about sexual abusers, pushy maniacs who disturb them in real and virtual life. So called male pigs are everywhere, starting from early childhood when guys pull on hair little girls, asking for their attention, and until nowadays when man whistle to sexy woman on the street.
For sure, every woman faced with unpleasant situation. You are walking and bunch of manual workers are yelling “Hey chick, come here sweetheart. Come to me baby , give me your number. ” I see smirk on your face because every normal woman would not fall on pushy man. Now, imagine yourself in different situation. You saw handsome man in the street and start to stare at him. Next step, you wish to know his name, number of his phone, place where he is living. Sit on the bench in park where he is sitting, just to talk with him. He might roll with his eyes, but he is polite and he will listen what you wish, before he shows you way out.
As much world is filled with pushy men, the same is on woman’s side. Men will say that is good to meet pushy women with open mind, because of easy sex. Also, in the times of despair, men will use pushy woman to fill their needs for talk, dating, feeding ego. Well, not all men are the same and if you are really annoying woman, you are turn off example.
Helen went with her new boyfriend in local night club. Paul was never there, cause he was from another city and he wanted to see place where Helen live. They went to have fun and that night was big crowd. Paul felt that local women stare at him, he was different from domestic guys, his clothes was fancy and he had gentleman’s style. Soon he felt hand on his butt . One of local “ladies” pinched his butt and smiled to him. Helen was very angry and drag his boyfriend on other part of club. Paul was equally surprised. His reaction was : “Don’t worry my dear, she is indeed ugly. And it never happened to me before. “
Maybe some other guy would think that is very cool to pinch him for butt, but Paul was gentleman and he had his standards. That woman was cheap in his eyes, and his girlfriend Helen raised her price. After all, Helen did not approached him first. He saw her mysterious smile and offered her drink and it was beginning of their story.
If you think guys are rude, if you had no success with guys, think about are you doing some mistakes.
This mistakes will rate you low:
You send your half naked photos to guys on internet, even you hardly know them.
 
You comment other photos as you never saw men. “Wow, gorgeous, perfect, masterpiece!”
 
You walk around half naked , inviting guys for a date or ask their number . 
 
You don’t mind if guy you wish is already taken or even married.
Now, imagine yourself in bar full of men, and you want to buy a drink. One man hug you around neck, other man push glass of beer next to your mouth. Third man slap your butt. Abusing, start of raping, violence, right? Well, in women world is also possible to get bad experience. Handsome guy might feel unpleasant when woman’s crowd scream his name as he is rock star. Woman could abuse on many ways, and still she will tell that she is a woman and that is allowed, because woman can’t rape man.
When man has soul, he doesn’t want to be raped on verbal way or emotional or any other way. When you push yourself as opportunity to particular man, you take him away his choice. Then, he will think in two direction : he might reject you and show you the door or he might use you for purpose, but i guarantee you that he will not call you again.
Maybe you enjoy to be woman on first line, but it is not nice if you expose yourself as bad example. You don’t need to beg, force or negotiate with man, if you want man. Some others might kill for your attention.

Put your lover on lice

You love him, but you are not sure on his feelings? He likes you, but words “i love you” are not on his mouth?

Love is not always mutual and balanced. We can meet some persons who will be amazing and stunning for us, but still something stops us to love them.

It is easy to have sex, but making love and sex are two different things.

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Main differences :

When you have only sex you don’t want to see this person few days, you need to be alone to clean your mind and heart, maybe you will feel guilt or shame.

 

When you make love you want to be with this person all the time, to make her happy with different things and on different ways because you shared something special together.


Having casual sex is like changing socks. One day with one partner, another day with second partner. Making love is like you buy expensive dress and you will care for this not to destroy something what is so special for you. You make love only with one person, and that person is owner of your heart.

There is an old trick how to recognize real love. Girls will often be fooled by sweet words but actions will make cold shower.

 

Some experiences.

He was great lover, it must be love. He treated my body so great, as real expert. I never enjoyed like with him. “

“We are making love every time when i see him. I think he loves me, otherwise he would not jump on me every time when we meet.”

After this.

“He did not call me, and when i called him he said that he is busy, but i saw him in coffee bar with friends two hours later.”

“I don’t know why his friends are laughing to me. How his friends know that i wear red bra and tanga?”

“He said that i must be a bitch when i enjoyed so much.”

When your relation has only one purpose, when you are not talking with partner, you don’t share nothing except passionate sex, that is not real love. You can test your partner. If sex is the only reason why he or she is calling you, then you can deny this. You will not lose nothing. Iced relation is cold weapon in this cold war.

Dominic and Marie had passionate, hot relation. She felt with him like in “Basic instinct”, just without killing. She could not reject him never. One day she found lipstick in his bathroom and she found out that he is cheating her. She did not say nothing, but when Dominic called her next time, she pretended that she is busy. Dominic did not give up so he called her again for few days. Marie opened door in provocative underwear and invited him on glass of champagne. Dominic started to kiss her, she pushed him and said to him that she is not in the mood. Then she put all cards on the desk, and Dominic was faced with the truth.

He could not say that he loves her. He was using an opportunity, but when Marie rejected him , it was not purpose for this relation anymore. She found out the truth, even on painful way.

 

If you touch partner without feelings of love, if you are just horny, this is like contact of two dead bodies. No sparks and no flame , just superficial instinct. It is alright if you have deal with your partner, but if you love, and he doesn’t love or opposite, then you have problem.

Put your lover on ice and your will know the answer.

Are you busy queen bee?

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Every woman dream about to express yourself in private life and in business. Some of us are really successful because they have luck or they are organized and surrounded with people who can help with obligations.

Woman with 3 children and successful business career needs help of her family. Husband , her mother, mother in law are here to help her with daily burden. This happens if everything is alright inside of her family. Ordinary woman is not celebrity as Angelina Jolie and she can’t effort to pay babysitters and bunch of servants. She needs lot of ideas and creative mind how to handle with this busy life.



What happens when things go wrong? 

Angela had big plans. She wanted to have kids, rich husband and successful career as judge in District court. During years, her husband was too busy because he was doctor , a surgeon. Kids were sick and Angela did not have help of her mother in law because she lived far away from her. Soon at her workplace came new intern, to learn about job. Angela saw this opportunity to spend more time with kids and she took free days but also she connected this with so called sick benefit. Her husband gave her support that she can pretend sickness, just to be with her 3 kids. New intern got all business burden on her back. Bunch of files, appeals, hard cases and nervous clients were in front of her office. She did her best, but when Angela get back after one month, she started to complain on her mistakes. That client should not pay so small money penalty. That case of inheritance should not finish on that way. New girl almost got breakdown and she had big conflict with Angela, especially because she was employed to do voluntary work at court, for symbolic money.

 

Sometimes women are very selfish in their desires to take everything. 


The same as queen bee, they want to rule with private and business life, without thinking about others who can help too. When Angela said “but my kids had flu”, she was thinking about her family, but not about girl who worked for her. There is a line. It will be the moment in life when everything is crushing. Then, we can’t blame others. We must know balance between our wishes and desires.

Besides, when woman thinks she can do all by herself, others will not help her properly. Maybe husband will not take care of kids because his queen bee knows this the best. Maybe mother in law will not cook lunch because she feels it will not be good enough.

When woman have career and big family, she must slow down and accept help of others. Only on this way she will avoid to judge or blame others for her mistakes.

When libido takes over

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Do you feel excited today? If you feel hot, horny and you want only one thing with special person, your libido is at the top and you are ready for action. Even in 21’s century people are sometimes ashamed to say that they are horny because it could be wrongly understood.
When man is horny, that is sexy and desirable, this will increase his masculine power. Well, if woman is horny, she is easy, filthy or vulgar , and she gives right to every man to be close with her.
What kind of reaction could produce naked woman on photo? What will you think if woman start to use words with double meaning in conversation with you? In general, that woman is following her libido. Word libido had its first mention in Dante “Inferno”, where he had described queen Semiramida. Her appearance is allowed  “by law” and libido.
Sigmund Freud defined libido as sexual energy, but Carl Gustav Jung expanded that word, as kind of psychic energy. Accord Jung, libido is moving from one content to another. You can feel libido as magical phenomenon, when you desperately want to touch particular person, because something attracted you as magnetic field.
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In general, the most often turn on’s in women area are:
 
Scent. Person with pleasent scent will be more desirable.
 
Smile. Sound of smile and expression of happiness are aphrodisiacs.
 
Elegant walk. Marilyn Monroe is famous about her walk and rocking with hips.
 
Pleasant voice. Not too loud, not screaming, little deep and slow. 
 
Silence. Closed mouth are sexy , but also mysterious. When you are silent, he will not know which is your next step. This is more exciting.
Also, some things are guarantees that your man will chill out.
Nagging. If you constantly complain, if everything is bothering you, man will escape from you.
Your cell phone is always on your ears. Turn of your phone if you want special meeting with your man. Your mother, your boss or best friend and her gossips are not important in this moment.
Talking about ex partners. Red alarm, never compare your ex boyfriend with present partner. Especially if you talk about size of his penis or skills in bedroom.
Don’t talk that you are fatty or chubby. If you don’t like your body, for sure he will not like it either.
Talking about your period or sexual disease as HPV or herpes is also not desirable. 
 
Don’t panic if you are without makeup or your underwear is not sexy.  
All right, you have no lipstick, eye bags are visible from the plane and your bra is too tight or wrong color, but you should not warn your man about this. You are sex bomb now and think only about this.
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Here are some examples about situations which made people hot, for just one moment. It was spontaneous reaction, and libido was in the top.
 
“I was hitchhiking, and that man drove me in his car. He was so sexy , and i accepted sex with him. He did not force me..it was something in his behavior , it was risky and dangerous situation, so we did it.”
 
“Me and my boyfriend, we were arguing that day for so long. At the end, we rip our clothes and made sex.”
 
” I could not stand my business partner. He is an asshole. But, when we were alone in office and worked at mutual projects, we were so tense. And that happened.”
 
“He was my ex boyfriend, and when i heard that he is in new relation, i seduced him. I could not bear that other woman will sleep with him.”
Her attitude was so bossy. I could not stand her bitching. But we did sex during business journey, in hotel. I wanted to break her resistance.”
 
You can call it devilish feeling, chemical reaction or magical spell. When libido takes over, mind is out of power.

Patience is overrated

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Mabel is taking her little daughter in the market. She always did the same scene. Bunch of chocolates are in her hands and she wants to open and eat immediately. Mabel is gentle mother and she knows that little Tara will cry if she will not get her favorite candies. But her teeth are not in well condition and too much sugar is not healthy for child. So this time she said no. Tara started to scream, and she did not shut up until Mabel slapped her. She did not hit her hard but it was useful. Tara stopped to cry and her face was just grumpy, but next time she did not ask for a candy.

Patience is wonderful thing. Some people have ocean of patience and you can move their limits into the sky. Your friend came at your door every day when you came tired from work. How to reject her, she is so kind. You want to take a nap and you said to her that she came in another time, but she said she is busy later. 

During life we will need large doses of patience. When you wait for your turn into market and moron in front of you is counting small coins or his master card is not valid. When you go to the dentist and old granny is there for an hour, without intention to get out. When your husband don’t want to throw garbage even it smells for a days. 

What to do when your patience is over limits?

You can do things which other don’t want to do for you, alone. 

Remember this when someone will ask favor from you, and don’t do it for that person, for return.

You can force person to learn on hard way. 

Use aggression if you need. Violence is not the way, but sometimes is effective when other tools will not work out.

Get out from situations which makes you frustrated. 

You don’t need friend who will not respect your free time, stalkers, pests who don’t understand your needs and wishes.

Use joker. Find person or occupation who will replace others. 

Ok, i have no luck with this job and this guy, but there are other people who loves me and i will spend more time with them. Also i have hobbies which can make me happy, i play tennis, i play bridge and there people appreciate me, so i don’t need to spend time with boyfriend or friends who are always stubborn when i ask something from them.

It is very familiar that nice words will open every door. When kindness is not more effective and when patience is at the end, another options are in the game. Time is money, and having patience means you are wasting your time. Why wait this jerk to call you and he is always getting late? Why work at this job for a years and they can’t say even thanks for all what you do for them?

When you are treating someone with patience, you give benefits to that person. He is testing your nerves. You will see how much is easier to deal with someone else, when patience will not be even option. Someone who will do things for you without you even ask. How easier is now, when someone do special things for you, and you don’t have to spend hours and nerves to get what you want?

People are as ground. You can seed everywhere, but flowers will not grow in dry landscape. 

Did you follow bad ideas?

How to fit in? This question will be in many minds, as product of fear that society will reject you. Since childhood we are looking for friends. Girls want to associate with other girls who are popular, stylish and fancy , boys want to be part of strong team, to play football or any kind of sport and prove their importance. Even our parents will watch out, who is our best friend, is he or she appropriate.

Now we have chosen friends, but how much we are influenced by others?

How do you know that your decisions are independent, and that someone did not dig into your mind?

If  you don’t care about other opinions, you will behave like this:

You will not justify your actions.

You will not apologize for your choices.

If someone mock you because you chose certain partner or certain job, you will reply properly.

If someone blackmail you to change your decision, you will stand by your attitude.

Marsha and Kevin were in long relation. Kevin had best friend Arthur, who disliked Marsha. It was very tense, because Kevin was in the middle of conflicts every time when all were together at coffee, when Arthur visited them, it was like in battlefield. Arthur had free style of life, he was often drunk, and once he slept at doormat, in front of Kevin’s house. Marsha was terrified by him because she was educated and noble woman. One day Marsha said to Kevin that she can’t stand his best friend anymore, who is unpleasent and rude , so she asked him to choose between them. Kevin said that there is no chance to turn back to his friend. He said : “I know he is not perfect, but i know him since we were kids. If you can’t deal with this, maybe you don’t belong into my life.” Also, he warned Arthur to behave himself. Marsha was angry but Kevin stayed by his decision.

Other people will often poke nose in our privacy, and everyone will feel invited to give advises, opinions or to guide us, because we don’t know how to think with our brains. This is very wrong. One human will pass many lessons during life. We are often under authorities. Parents will say to us what is wrong, teacher will tell us how to behave, boss at work will punish us if we don’t work good. During that process, we will develop our characters and we will make selections.

It is not surprise if you send one day everyone to hell. Think about what you need to be happy. Do you need your mother to call you every day? Do you need lessons from your neighbor, how to cut grass in your garden or how to make perfect lunch? Do you need advises about perfect marriage, from your best friend?

You are master of your path. Influence is not bad thing, if you have good teachers. You can learn much, but sooner or later it comes time when you need to take life in your hands.

Your parents will not choose your life partner. Also, they will not choose your job and educate your children. Some people will stay forever under other’s influences because they are too weak to decide alone. Result of this will be life under shelter. This is personal occupation, by other person. You are prisoner if you never choose by yourself.

How followers end up?

As victims of other’s beliefs. You will be guilty for something what is even not your idea. We have much examples in history, when bad leaders brought bad decisions and when crowd were following them. You can go alone toward light, or you can follow me into the dark.