When Paula had 13th birthday, she went at school with concern. Some guys in her class did not like her, and teacher had no understanding for her problems. She was victim of bullying and all what she could do is to wait 2 years until she finish elementary school. Then she will not see that flock anymore. Her doubts were true, so when guys found out about birthday, they start to provoke her. When she replied in the same ugly way, they start to beat her with fists and she was crying. Guys were enough wise not to leave big wounds, only few scratches. Nobody in class wanted to involve, they stayed away. It was her worst birthday, she went home humiliated. Her mother was in school another day, and teacher said that is normal situation between children in this period. She asked her mother also why Paula’s hands are shaking, that she should feel safe between her friends in classroom and that she is too shy.
As adult woman, Paula doesn’t trust to men. She thinks in two directions: men wants to use her for sex or they want to hurt her. This perception comes out from school days, because every time she meets man, voices in her head scream to alert. She had many sexual adventures, because she thinks she deserve to be humiliated. As consequences of bullying, victims could be promiscuous or totally closed for sex experiences. Paula was promiscuous woman.
Bullying is as an octopus.
It grows on all sides, and it develops in many phases.
Other students start to tease victim.
When victim answers on violence, it become worse.
Little jokes can turn into aggression, with physical wounds and scarves.
In the case of silence, bullying will continue because there is no authorities to stand on its way.
Once when it finish, consequences will stay. Victim of bullying will have distorted perception about people.
In american movie “Bully”, based on true event in year 1993, guy was violent student Bobby Kent who did aggression to his friends and girlfriend, he took power to rape, beat and abuse everyone on his way. This damaged group of kids made deal to hire hitman and they killed Bobby together. Main killer, Marty Puccio Jr. got death penalty, which was later turn into life prison, without possibility of abolition. The others finished in jail with different punishments.
It is better to stop and prevent, than to deal with terrible damage later.
Why this happens and why some children are victims, and others are bullies?
– different than others, usually introvert
– person with poor social status or with some physical disadvantages
– someone who is talented or geek
– person who avoid big groups and usually read lot of books
– someone with unusual ideas, outsider
– person with good financial status
– person who is popular at school
This things are happening everywhere. In ex Yugoslavia, schools did not have even psychologists. It was wasting of time to talk with immature children about violence, and headmaster was main boss, to solve mess in school. When some wild child created mess, it was enough to slap him, and things were finished. Nowadays, bullying became worse, because here are social networks, cell phones and these are dangerous tools to ruin someone’s life. One photo with teenage girl in bra is enough to ruin her life.
As long are people on this Earth, here will be jealousy, envy and hate. Hate starts in childhood and develops in high school. Bullying is the worst follower of hate. Cut this roots.