If it is not on Internet, it never happened

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If it is not on Internet, this event never happened. If you travel somewhere, celebrate anniversary with husband, celebrate birthday, put your photos that whole world see this. Otherwise, your life does not exist.
I remember when i opened my sister’s diary and found something fishy, and later she got angry at me. Nowadays, when you open someone’s Facebook and find something fishy, person will get angry cause you did not press like or make comment.
I noticed that people forgot difference between secret and private.
Oh, you are married? I did not know that. It has been two years since i got married and some people at my workplace still questioning how i changed my surname. No, i did not share photos at my official e-mail, i did not bring cakes from wedding, i don’t talk about mother in law when i wait lunch at business restaurant. Simply, i think, this is my business. It is not their business, and at least it is not Internet business.
How many times i saw private talk on public statuses, husband and wife who are arguing in front of their thousand friends, photos of their children and kitchen? Once woman from Venezuela wanted to share photos of her family in tag, in my page. I said her, i have my life, and this is my website, with all respect, keep photos of your family for your close friends. I don’t want to see it. I am not jealous, envious or rude, i just have my boundaries, and i don’t need photos of your son who is playing in the mud with other children.
The best marriages and relations were made in silence. It is not kind of silence where you hide your partner. It is kind of silence where you don’t talk about your conflicts in public, where you don’t notify your friends about your private details and when you have this happy smile on your face because you put your privacy under lock.
Once i read about tennis couple , Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf, who were always private couple. They were not jumping out with every photo of their kids, with every kiss and hug. Or to made porno video, as Kim Kardashian, to earn money from this.
The meaning of love is sacred. If i had conflict with my husband, this is between me and him. We will sit and talk, we will cry or scream, we will make peace. I never wanted to hear public advices as “He is not worthy of you, find better ” or “This is not good for you, i feel this. “
People are not always trustful. Many of them will celebrate your fall or they will not care. People love drama, but not because they wish to participate, they wish to have fun and gossip. If you give them gossip material, they will laugh to you under your back.
One Friday evening my neighbors had terrible fight. Woman was crying, her husband was yelling and they smashed something, i don’t know, i heard noise. When i saw that man few days later, i just said hello. I did not ask him about noise, crying or drama. It is his personal thing. As my husband said: “If he falls on our balcony,  we will call police.”
Technology progress did not give us much private space. We see other’s underwear, dirty socks, untidy rooms, unhealthy food. We see fat women who wish to be x plus models cause this is popular. We see even scenes from other’s funerals.
I always support curtains over private life. What is between two people is not show for audience. People are not paying my bills neither sleeping with me, so that is my right.
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First book is for people who are addicted on internet.

Second book is for women who can’t find partner.

Third book is for people who can’t fit in social conventions.

Enjoy in reading.

 

Is your single status benefit or burden?

 

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If you are single, some people will pity you, others will make jokes and it depends of you how to handle this. Differences between single and taken status are visible in friend circles. Couples will have prejudices about single people, as they are always available and free for others. Single person sometimes feel as black sheep in group of couples, because in coffee bar is always free chair for someone who is not here yet.

If you are single, is this burden or benefit?
Take a look at your list of benefits.
You pay bills alone and you don’t share money with anyone.
 
You are not victim of jealousy.
 
You can go on striptease bar, beach party and football match without discussion with your better half.
 
You can flirt around without responsibility that you will hurt someone.
 
You can make mess in your bedroom and kitchen and nobody will complain that you are untidy.
 
You can listen music and watch movies accord your taste.
 
Remote control is yours.
 
 
Workplace is area where single people can’t feel comfortable because bosses will often dig into privacy of their employers. On other hand, single people will make own attitude to justify their status, and sometimes attack is the best defense.
Jenny is single, and she  compared herself with her female boss, who was in marriage. Her argument was next:
“She is constantly nervous because of her children and husband. I am happy and i smile because i have peace at my home. I don’t care for school problems, for choice of lunch or any such shit, because i can do all what i wish. “
One day Jenny and her boss had conflict. Her boss asked her to work overtime, and Jenny rejected this.
Her boss said: “What kind of reason you have not to stay? You are single, you don’t need to take children into kindergarten. “
Jenny replied: ” I also have life, more filled than yours. I am member of  book club and my friends are waiting for me. Then i go to the gym. “
Being single is a burden in some situations. 
You wish to go to wedding party but you have no escort.
 
You want to travel but you afraid to go alone.
 
You have vacation, but there is no person which you wish to spend it.
 
You are ill and nobody will visit you at hospital.
 
Married men want to have you as mistress.
 
Your friends want to pick partner for you. 
 
 
Being single is not social disgrace, but it depends about people who surrounds you. It is not pleasant when all around you are in couples, and you are alone and on the target. Imagine yourself in the middle of attention if you come to visit granny in some village, and you are over 30. “Oh honey, you are old maid. Where is your husband? Are you too picky? Are you lesbian? “
Some single people will make kick back. They will say :
I would rather be single than to have stupid wife or husband. I don’t envy you. I would not marry such person even if she is last in this Earth. “
You know the best what to do with your status. If you need space, air to breath or some time, you will enjoy as single, to collect your mind. If you are desperate for being single, don’t let others to notice that. Searching person because you are lonely is wrong reason for relation.
If you date with someone and you say something like this : ” I can’t stand my loneliness, that is killing me.”, this person will afraid and runaway. You are single and happy with yourself, and your possible partner is not your savior. He is your bonus because you can take care of yourself.

5 types of people you should avoid at social networks

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Social networks are relaxing place if you share your time with good people. Stranger from internet could be more interesting than your colleague at work or boring neighbor who knocks at your door every day. Another traditions, exotic countries and different views are real refreshment in boring daily schedule. Unfortunately, internet is not always place for enjoyment, so you can fall in trap of some freaks who forgot line between reality and virtual space.

This 5 types of people you should avoid and press NO button for friend request:

Spammer. This kind of person will spam your wall with tags and inbox with messages. He is not here for friendship, he desperately catch attention. Especially is odd when such person start to share your personal photos around, without your permission.

Lover boy. This person is hungry for love and sweet words fly over your page as butterflies, but also you can see the same story in other pages. Sweetie, darling or honey are his daily inspirational words.

Pervert. He is big fan of porno photos and videos and he can embarrass you in publicity, because naked bodies are his hobby. 

Hater. He hates everyone and world is undesirable place, accord him. He will ask for conflict and fight in every opportunity. When such person is leaving, everyone will be considered as idiot or jerk, because everyone hurt him badly.

Lonely soul. Yes, this is kind of person who yells “add me” in every group, because people must add him. Otherwise, he will open fake page and threat you why you did not accept his nice offer for friendship. 

Even every social site has block button, you are not finished once when you block unpleasant person. He or she can open another page or gossip you around, or even try to hack your account, because you did not want to hangout with them. Some cultures are not based on rejections, for them is rude to say NO, and they will hard understand that you pick your friends.

Internet offered exit for every lonely person on this Earth, but some of them mixed reality and dream. Even when you add someone who is not accord your standards, you can soon regret this, because such person will ask daily chat with you and you will have stone around your neck.

Virtual space is not substitute for reality. This is bonus , additional gift together with reality, vacation with keyboard. If your workplace allows access to social networks, you will join to some site to get rest from daily pressure. Maybe you will rather exchange your experience with strangers than drink coffee with your idiot boss or boring cooperators. Person with healthy and sober mind should understand boundaries, that you can’t ask your virtual friend about their ages, statuses or personal life, if she or he feel uncomfortable.

Word choice is magical word but some people on internet are deaf , because they see only what they wish to see. Extreme cases will call you bad person, because you ignored their messages or blocked them, after annoying virtual treatment.

If you are lucky to meet alive person from internet, your perception will be complete and maybe you will find new friend. In any case, limit your expectations. People from internet are not fairies or magicians, they can’t change your reality or pay your bills.

Why some women so desperately want marriage?

Serbian basketball player Miloš Teodosić recently got tempted offer from beautiful pin up girl Nataša Šavija. Girl saw his photos in newspaper, also she heard that he is famous, so she sent him public message : “I want to marry for you and to wash, iron and clean for you. I will give a birth to 5 children, all for you. ” Many men would imagine himself as her husband, but Miloš answered : “I want girl with brain, so get marry for someone else and give him five children . “

His reaction was a bit harsh, but he sent clear message that he doesn’t want pushy woman who will be with him just because of his glory. If he was carpenter, would she offer herself so openly? That is in fear of many men, that they will find girlfriend who wish their money and who will marry just to have wealth and children.

As much women are afraid that their man is not ready for marriage and children, men are afraid that they found bachelorette.

Who is bachelorette and how to recognize her?

Bachelorette is woman who know that she wants to marry before 25 or 30 years, but she doesn’t know who is her husband yet. Also, if she doesn’t manage with her plan in this period, she will make her standards lower and get marry in late thirties, for man who wish to get marry with her.

How to recognize bachelorette?

She will talk very early about her wedding gown, place for marriage and children. Maybe even after two months of relation.

She will talk about events, not so much about you.

She will make ultimatums with deadlines. 

She will talk about her friends who got married, and compare her relation with others.

She will introduce you to her parents and relatives very soon, You must get know your future family.

Women got surprised when their perfect match slips away. Also, they don’t understand that is their contribution. For sure, you can’t wait your husband for lifetime, but force is also not good idea. You are not product to offer herself with your values. Your partner has eyes and ears and he will make perception about you. Sometimes, you are simply not what he is looking for.

Here are one of the most often mistakes which women do:

I am beautiful, and nobody will reject me. So i will easy find husband.

I am beautiful so i must ask only rich and handsome husband.

I must marry until i am pretty because time is my enemy.

My mother and father will help me to find future husband. 

I don’t need to work because i will get marry for rich man.

I must push him a little, because men in generally don’t know what they wish in life.

I will get pregnant so he must marry me.

Probably Miloš smells the same trap when Nataša gave him offer. He felt like slave in slave trade. Where is his freedom of choice in this case? In modern times, women will more often use their charm to get marry, before partner propose them. This is kick in manhood, because man is the one who decide about marriage. Man will decide because he loves you, not because you are pretty, pregnant or famous. It doesn’t really matter if other thinks that you are perfect woman for him. What he thinks about you is more relevant.

Man who is in life crossroad needs space. Will he get marry or not, it doesn’t depends of bachelorette in his life. It depends about him. In Brazil, women will reject men few times, just to be sure will he try again. Unpredictable situations are better, when woman is the one who needs to say yes or no. So guy is waiting, nervous and sweaty, what will she say about his proposal. When man feels fear of losing, that is sign that he cares. Don’t torch him too long, but don’t jump on him on first hint that he wants to get marry.

Bachelorette might fall in one more trap, trap of flirting and sex. So, man will say yes on first sight, just to get sex and when this is over, he will runaway. Who can blame him, when he felt caught ? So in this case, Nataša got honest answer and save her time.

Life in blog sphere

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“How is it going on blog? Are you earning a lot? ” My friend asked me this before a long time, and said also : “I would like to write blog, too. “

I did not want to discourage her and break her illusions. Writing blog is not simple how it looks. Mostly, people live in dreams that they will be popular over night and that they will learn a lot of money.

If someone ask me how much i earn, i will frankly say : nothing. I did not want to pay domain which is too expensive , to monetize my blog. I have regular job and i have no time to visit many blogs and to pull people on the sleeves. I gave them freedom to read me if they like my posts. Also, i don’t let people to promote themselves on my blog page. I think everyone should pay promotion if they wish.

I am person who will never pretend. If i comment your content, it means i really like this. I am not person who will put thousand likes on your post and then say : “Wow, now look at my blog. ” This is old trick, we all know that such “admiration” indeed means that i did not read your content and that i only wanted to be noticed.

Another thing which every beginner at blog afraid are haters. Well, i must wake you up. There are no haters, there are only silent, ignorant people. Believe me, millions of bloggers are on Internet, and if you gain haters, it means they read you. So, you should be grateful for haters.

I want that you pay attention on chatters. Yes, that are those desperate people who come under your post, without reading it, and then comment how they spent day.  So, i had “pleasure” to read chat under my post about “man who lost his mom in storm. ” My deep condolence, but i am not so merciful that i will let therapy under my blog post. This is not place for this, and yes, therapists are well paid.

Also, don’t listen to people who try to make you guilty. “Oh, you are so rude. Why we can’t post links under your blog. We are all equal here. ” No, equity and equality are two different things. I did not give you permission to post your links, but i did not do the same at your blog. How would you feel in the case if i post about football under your religious post? Because, i am big football fan, i will post about Neymar and Messi under your prayers, because we are all equal?

Now, it is not all black, so i must say thanks to some sincere people who got my posts serious and inspired me with their stories. So, if i post story about broken heart, and you write about partner who left you, you are welcome. Why not to share your story (without link, of course). I am happy if my post wake up your memories, if my post made you smile or if you are wondering about your feelings.

In blog sphere everyone can find smart people who are very friendly. They will offer you page to share your links and to follow each other. I will do it when it comes time.

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Here is something what i very like to use, spam tool. When i see that comment is out of topic, i simple open trash box. Yes, you can write critics, but you can’t go out of topics or invite me to use some pages which will bring me viruses. I love my computers and phone, enough not to open it.

Blogging is bloody work. Some people will try to educate you, to preach you, to mock you, others will just ignore you or try to spam your page. This is all in human nature, to compete, to play , to annoy. I understand even this, some people are so lonely that they don’t make difference between blog and inbox, between internet and reality.

I believe everyone of you met with boring neighbor who knock at your door even you did not invite him or her, who sat at your table even you just came from work or who is here to ask you money or thousand favors. These are some bloggers, boring neighbors.

Now after this post i will get some haters . Just kidding. 🙂

Are you princess who lost shoe?

 

Independent person is gift for others. Many people love to say, i am independent, i don’t need anyone. In the case of struggles and problems, this statement will be confirmed or denied. It is easy to say that you can do all alone when all is going well.

What happens in the case of storm in your life?

Suddenly, you broke and you need money, are you independent now?

Your boyfriend left you and you will call friends?

You got fired?

Your close family member is sick?

Being independent means that you lean on your forces, your previous experiences and that you will not give up.

Ask yourself, do you expect that high force will help you ?

If you expect granny with cookies in front of your door, you are wrong. Success never comes to lazy people. Maybe you will get some surprises, but happiness is not permanent and soon all what you get for granted will turn into big bill. If friend found job for you, he will ask you to return him favor. If you got luck in something, soon you will fail on other side. Happiness is not free and it is not serious approach to lean on happiness.

I had friend who always need man to help her. First was her father, when was cold outside and she was travelling by train, he came on train station with boots for her. Second was her husband, he earned money and then hire her to work for him. I want to say, it is easy to progress when all the time someone watch your back.

You know this kind of women who cry when they don’t get what they wanted? Some men are naive and they fall on their tears . These women are always victims and they are dependable of protection. She broke heels, she can’t walk. This guy offended her, let’s beat him. That kind of powerless princess is indeed calculative. She knows that is not necessary to take care of herself, cause others will do this.

Myra is woman in middle age. Her mother lived with her and her husband all the time. So, mother got sick and died. Unfortunately, Myra never learnt to cook. It was her mother’s job. So now she and her husband try to live without mother’s help.

When you are dependable, life punish you with test. Will you earn money alone? Will you cook and clean without help? Can you walk by foot, not to bother others to drive you all the time? Are you Cinderella who is asking for a prince because she lost shoe?

Such persons use others in every opportunity. I don’t say that you must do all things alone. Sometimes you will need help. Just, when request for help become manipulation and when favor became order, this is not fair situation.

Especially, if you are not willing to help others , never, because you are the one who is priority.