Are you person without plans?

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When you see life as kind of game, you are playing as kid in the sand. Nothing is serious for you, because you are having good fun. Then, something happens and you will understand life on different way, more seriously. Now party is over and it is time to settle down.

Love also consists from phases. First guy you kissed maybe was your classmate in school and you will not remember him. Then, it was story of your life. Later you lost your virginity with cool man, and after that you found guy who wants to marry you . Now all before that became ridiculous.

Mine friends used to say such things about their former boyfriends:

“I was so stupid when i did calls every day and night. His mother knew my voice, i even talked with her.”

“I was hitchhiking just to see him, because he did not want to visit me.”

“I cut my hair because he prefers short hair.”

All that dramas were intro , because our experiences leads us to maturity. This is normal when you pass such things as teenager, and in thirties you are person who knows what she wants or she already got it.

Sometimes, life play cruel games, and some gifts which you supposed to get in certain period will skip you.

Which kind of people are immature in soul forever?

Man who did not kiss a girl, and he is already 30.

Woman who changed many men, and still she did not find right one, even she is already in certain ages.

People who live with parents after 30.

People who save their virginity even they are over 30.

Life is not pattern, and we are walkers through this path. Some women will never get married or have children, the same as same men. Nothing is guaranteed. When life skips over you, you are chosen to stay child in the heart and soul. You will see that something important miss you, and also you will try to replace this.

How to be happy when you did not get what you wished?

Travel around, you will see things which you never saw before.

Go on parties, football matches, birthdays, events. 

Make new friendships.

Find some hobbies.

Strange things happen when two people, who are somehow damaged, meet together. Charlie lived with parents even he was already 30. He had bad love experiences and also he was a virgin. His days were the same, he did not know when was Monday, and when was weekend because he was watching movies nightly and working daily. Then Victoria came to his city, as tourist, with travel agency. She wanted to know London and accidentally he met her in one museum. They started to talk about history and she invited him on coffee. He was confused, but he accepted. Victoria was divorced, 40 years, still attractive and she did not have children. She was cheerful as little girl. Charlie never laughed so much, they continued contact over internet when she left in her country. They were two lost souls , victims in life who skipped them. In the moment they are talking about future, how to be together , because they recognized each other.

When life pass over you, clap your hands and don’t give up to be noticed by life. Some people carry bigger burden than others. Accept this as sign that you are not ordinary. Maybe you don’t have husband or children, but you were on places where others will never be and you did things which others will never do. Life gifts are not the same for everybody. Some have different package. You are just one of the people without plans.

Too much love can kill you

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Shakespeare has written Othello, story about jealousy where poor Desdemona were strangled. Iago, friend of Othello, made intrigue to convince Othello that Desdemona is cheating him. Othello did not thinking, he just choose to punish her even she was innocent, so he killed her with own hands.

Jealousy is very hard feeling, consequences are that we speak before we think , we act before we speak.

What happened in Croatia, in small city named Vojnić, is terrible tragedy caused by jealousy.

Shortly, girl Victoria was with 3 guys in relations, one by one. Dejan, Alvin and Boško liked/loved the same fatal girl. One night Victoria came in front of nightclub “Heart “with present boyfriend Boško. He stabbed Alvin and Dejan, he cut Alvin throat, and stabbed Dejan in the heart with knife. Also he wounded bodyguard in the nightclub, and then bodyguard caught him. Two young guys are dead as results of this action. Boško can get biggest punishment, in Croatia is the biggest punishment for murder on cruel way, 40 years of prison. Forums and social networks talk about Victoria , some people blamed her because they think she was playing with guys, but there is no purpose, two young guys are dead.

The main fact is, they all were so young. Victoria has 18 ages, guys were in twenties. This wonderful time of youth is ruined now.

Sources say that Boško was treating in social networks in his statuses, that this murder were planned indeed.

What can jealousy do to people? Jealous person want someone for himself, he doesn’t want to share, he wish to owe the person. Extreme form of jealousy is possession.  This is situation when you want to make prison for your partner that nobody see him, control him in every moment and cut every form of freedom. If person did not make obligation to you, if she is in dilemma , is that normal way, to kill someone? After all, if you destroy one life, it can’t belong to anyone more, even to you.

True love depends about freedom of choice, maturity and ability to make decision. Mature lovers will accept breakup and word NO. Immature couples will get revenge which might finish as tragedy.

Young people are collecting experience, they don’t want obligations, they need freedom, passion, and it is nice to be young and furious for them.

As James Dean said “live fast die young”.  After it happens it is late to correct mistakes, even it happened in the name of love.

 

How much expensive are your mistakes?

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We are born clumsy. You try to walk and you will fall. Try to swim and you will swallow water. Your heart will skip beat from fear that you can get drown.
Nobody learnt everything about life immediately, in the first moment. Some people are learning fast, others are behind them. What is in common,  people are not robots and not perfect. This means, we will do plenty of mistakes on every fields.
I remember when i wanted to learn typing on keyboard with 10 fingers. This skill of typing i needed to make my job easier. I was in mess and very slow. Later it was very useful  so it saved my time.
Mistakes are part of your life. Who will  learn, work and participate in anything can’t avoid mistakes. What is bad is judgment and contempt.
Oh, you are retarded. You don’t know this? How you don’t know simple and basic things?”
Every skill starts with mistake. You will eat bitter meal when you are cooking for a first time. You will stand on foot of your partner when you try to dance. Also, if you are learning other language, you will do mistakes with grammar and spelling.
Some people are talented for particular fields. This talent is something born with them. Sergej Jesenjin was wonderful Russian poet. Isidora Duncan was dancer. Maria Callas was singer in opera. They had special gift and they used it.
Problem is when someone is pushed into fields where he doesn’t belong.
We can’t all be familiar and celebrities. Sound of bad voice or clumsy dancing will cause laugh and mocking. Such persons are inspiration for  stand up comedy from their attempts. We must know where we are standing and not to make shame from our attempts.

What is important, if we want to progress we must keep trying. If you never try, how will you know what is your limit? Also, if you give up after few mistakes, you are indeed weak. Cry because you got bad mark? Fall in depression because your boss yell on you? Someone spit on your work? Well, deal with this as with challenge. Show them that you can.

The basic of every success is – learn from your mistakes. Update your masterpiece with this mistakes. Mistakes are warning and lessons, if you can listen and hear their message you got the score.
People who never learnt from their mistakes are still in stand by and pending position. They are frozen because they gave up or did not know what to do next.

What we say in silence?

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I am talkative person, but once when i get silent, i can be numb forever. With years i learnt about power of silence, especially in situation when someone hurts you. Before i thought that silent people are weak and fragile, and i underestimated silence as tool of cowards.

Recently one person hurt me. We were close friends, i gave him my trust, loyalty and confidence. He mixed this gifts with toys, and he acted like kids with borrowed dolls, he broke it. We had conflict , lot of insults were in the air, and it finished with silence from my side. I used silence and ignorance as my answer, because it would be endless conflict. Simply, i decided to finish this story with my poker face, while insults dropped as raindrops , i was standing and smiling in the storm of bullets.

I know i won and this is what i said in my silence:

I am busy with my success and i have no time for your frustrations.

I am busy with people who love me, and i don’t have time for people who hate me.

I burnt this bridge, why you still walk on remains? 

I am on my throne so high that i can’t see you, so i can’t hear you very well too.

What i got with my silence?

Peace. I don’t think about his insults because i don’t interact with him anymore.

Freedom. I don’t think what he said, so it gives me space for valuable thoughts.

Smile. I know he can fall very low so i turn his insults into bad jokes.

I know this is not the end and he can appear somewhere to continue our conflict. In this case, i have bulletproof wall. It is better to hit knife in open target, than try to break the wall.

Person who can’t say magic words : i am sorry, thanks for being in my life, forgive me is not a gentleman.

This is just narcissist who asks for applause and audience who will obey to him. This  is not matter anymore, because i learnt magic power of silence.

Don’t touch his heart if he is not into you

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The biggest lie which man can say to you is “I will never fall in love.” Translation of this words would be: “You are not the right woman for me. ” It sounds better if you think that guy is simply cold or without heart, and your ego will be less hurt if you think that he can only have sex with women, without feelings. This trap is often , as an excuse when guys want to break some relations or avoid obligations.

Love is unpredictable and it is impossible to resist when arrow hits your heart. Eric was one of big players in his youth. He broke hearts of many girls. They were running for him, crying, even one of them threat him with blackmail, but nothing could force him to fall in love. Then he met this girl Diane. She was independent and busy with so many things, she did not have time for relation. They were friends but nothing more. Once they even had sex and other morning Diane left him a note that she is in rush, she went to business seminar in other city. First time in his life Eric lost power and control. Where she left and why she left, it was kick into his ego. He realized he falls in love, and he did many efforts to win her heart.

Love makes people more fragile and without control. Until we are single, our views are not misty. Under influence of love, weakness will come out to rule with our actions. Love will melt even the most coldest heart. When woman is not the chosen one, she will try to believe in her own lies.

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What kind of excuses women wish to believe, when guy is not the right one?

He is not ready for love relation because he is dedicated to his work.

His ex girlfriend hurt him too much.

He just want to have sex with women and nothing more.

He is asexual and spiritual type. Love doesn’t exist for him, he is religious and he loves only God.

He said that i am too hard to get for him.

Men who wants to avoid women tears will use nice words as explanations why they don’t want to stay with some women. They wish to get rid of feeling of guilt, and to sleep peacefully. In this case, honest and tough guys will give more favors to women, if they admit that they are simply not interested. Smart woman will know the real meaning of this sentences. They kindly say to you that you are not the right one.

The truth is that some men will fall in love harder and not so often. Some men are on distance with feelings, but it doesn’t mean they will never fall in love. As much you wish to get key of his heart, when he starts to make excuses why he is not ready, make it easier and say that you understand all. Give him wink and go forward with your new love stories.

Do you live in the box?

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If you wish to search key of life, remember all pain which you passed. Under this pain was joy and achievement, because you earned this. You did not surrender, you were struggling, you faced with all troubles and still you keep walking. That is real life, maybe under your expectation, but the biggest reward is that you participated.

When someone dies, we look on his life, as history. Person who had lot of love, family and friends did not live in vain. This person will leave track and memories. I don’t believe in miracles and i see all unexpected events as bonus. The rest is on me, and there is no game if i don’t want to play.

The saddest part of life is not death. The worst thing you can ever do, is to surrender. If you close yourself in the box, you are dead since you were born. Passive people, chickens and cowards are living in the cage, with big fear that someone will open their cage and air of life will blow them into unknown place.

How does it look, when you are living in the box?

You never went out from place you were born. Your house is your shelter, and you live under umbrella.

You will avoid to travel, because undesirable things could happen to you.

You will avoid love relations, when you realize that their content is also sadness and pain.

You will never work, because unpleasant people are around you.

You will be bohemian person, without friends, because friends can hurt you also.

You will never risk if you are not 100% sure that you should accept an offer.

Let me introduce Aida to you. She is religious girl and she has strong faith in God. Her little world is locked with thousand keys. She lives with parents and relatives in big house. She never had job and relation. She never made love with man. She never left her city, even for small trip. Aida has 40 years old. She is pretty woman, educated and she is definitely not stupid. What is wrong with her? She believes that her God will bring her miracles. She is untouchable and she broke many friendships because people were terrified with her story. She believes, that real man will knock at her door. In her dreams, he is rich, smart , handsome as model and he loves only her. Then they will live in big house with big family. During her life, Aida met some impostors and she blamed bad fate for this. Problem was, she was never able to get out from her box and to face it with life. All this real opportunities were not good enough to her, because her standards are very high. So, still she is waiting for her Prince charming.

We can easy know when someone is living in the box.

If you try open talk with this person, she will be insulted, because you show reality.

She will watch movies, soap operas and she is probably in love in main actor from some romantic comedy.

She will make gossips about others, because she lives through their lives.

She will try to compare herself with others. So, even she is alone, it is better than husband who earn small money or husband who is not so handsome. She would not let him approach to her box.

Why we are humans? We will did lot of efforts and mistakes, we will be sad, angry, embarrassed or even devastated. If you have guts, you will wipe dust and get up, as Phoenix. Real people arise from the dust with smile. Winner will never accept even to get into box.

Winner has wings and fly in open, insecure heaven. There is maybe dangerous eagle and circumstances are against him. That is the beauty of life, black background with red roses. Pick up your rose and repaint your background, because you can do it. Throw out key of your box, and then burn this box.

Can you introduce yourself as black sheep?

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Society is covered by rules. Don’t do this, be careful with this, you should not do this. Conformists will follow this rules without complaining because they need this as orientation. This is like compass for them, how to behave if you don’t write tips. They would be lost.

An opposite, rebels make own rules which are not in harmony with rules of society. It doesn’t mean that rebels will behave against law, they will simply not fit in .

It was end of school year and children in class decided about celebration. In former Yugoslavia, all parties were with folk music, and singers as Lepa Brena were very popular. Everybody in class accepted to make celebration with bellows, but Maja said no. Sound of bellows was awful for her ears. She did not come that day in school, simply she stayed at home. They said to her that she is an awesome sausage, in Yugoslavia it was symbol for black sheep.

Maja was fan of Metallica and she stayed by her taste and attitude. Her friends were gossiped her, but she did not care.

– Why you did not come? Everybody talks about you how weird you are.

Strange, weird, odd, just some of description to mark different people. Especially in socialism, there was principle of equality. All people should be modest and equal. Just, some were more equal than others, that was real truth.

Next case happened in prom night. Sandra did not want to dance, and guys were laughing to her. Girl, and you don’t know to dance? Let me teach you. Sandra did not accept this. She simply wanted to sit and talk. Why to force her for something she did not want?

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Black sheep lives on different way.

Childhood –  i will not play with Barbie dolls because i don’t like them

Youth – i will not smoke, drink or have sex because everyone else do this

Maturity – i will not listen my boss because i have right to ask other opinions or i have my ideas

Old age – i am not sick so i don’t want to go to medical center

If you are black sheep, you are not sensitive on critics, you don’t have much friends , but you have the biggest choice. Be sure, others are envious and jealous because you have guts. You paid your price, but you got an award, to authorize your personality as brand.

Why some people believe in lies?

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Tell me lie and i will feel cheated or hurt. If you found out that someone is a liar, you will judge him and for sure that person will not be desirable friend. Now try to look at this from different angle, so then you will know why lies are popular and why liars can survive. As long in this world are naive and weak people, they will be excellent food for liars. Liars are sharks, and naive people are small, tasteful fishes, ready to be someone’s meal.

Reality is not beautiful fairy tale. Even when life praise you with gifts and rewards, there is always a catch. This is as cake with flies , so sweet at first sight but you can’t eat this because when fly sits there, it will be disgusting. For example, one day you finally found job . You were unemployed for a long time, and suddenly you have well paid job. Are you happy now? Now you have annoying colleagues, bitch sits with you in office and talk loudly at phone, radio is playing and you can’t stand that music, and when you go to lunch pause someone will sit at your table and brag with screaming voice about work. So your ears will pain because you can’t stand this. But you have job.

Now here are some situations, when people like to hear lies, not naked truth.

Patient who is seriously sick would like to hear that his situation with health will get better.

Woman fall in love in man, he doesn’t love her, but she wish to hear that he loves her. She would like to hear this sweet words even it is not true.

You are chubby and you want new dress, even you can’t breath, you will believe to salesman who said that you look perfect as model.

You don’t have idea about singing, but when you are in karaoke party, you wish to hear that everyone enjoyed in beautiful sound of your voice.

In the time of elections politicians will say many fake promises, and people will swallow this as candies.

Your parents will tell you that you are successfull, pretty and smart, even you don’t feel like this and this is not everytime true. 

Here we come to the next point. If we wish real truth, we should ask objective people for facts. Don’t ask for real opinion someone who is crushed in you, someone who is addicted to you at financial side or someone who wants to use you for purpose. Ask someone who doesn’t know you so good, and you will get right answer, because that person is free from guilt and fear that he will hurt you.

The most resistant fans of lies are those who cannot handle the truth because they are insecure in own abilities. They need to hear sweet words because that is their wall against all troubles.

Walter is average man with average work and average life. Everything in his life is in the middle. He can’t find girlfriend because he likes those who don’t like him, and girls who would like to date with him are not desirable from his side. He prefers kind women , and he aware of open minded ladies, because they are threat to his weak self esteem.

So he  started to search for a soulmate in internet. His profile page got unexpected number of women, he became popular. All women suddenly wanted to be with him.

His friend Ian laughed to him and told him this:

Did you checked that profiles? Half of them are fake and old. Some are maybe transvestits or gays. And some of that women have double or triple pages. So, when you eliminate your fans, at the end here is maybe one or two who is real.

 

Walter was furious , especially when Lara, woman with beautiful photos, started to talk with him every day. She was obsessed and she followed him everywhere. After one month she was revealed as fake. Other friends said that she was woman in fifties, with two children and husband. She was ugly and Walter was not first man who was fooled with her.

Life is not love story.

The main heroes in life are not knight, princess or king. Real winners in real life are people who can take things as they are, without need to make them better in fake sense. If you can accept that your lover is sometimes grumpy, that your girlfriend is not so pretty without makeup or that your friends are not always sweet and kind, you are winner.

Otherwise, you will swallow every lie on your way, because you were not enough brave to deal with the facts.

Shopping is not cure for broken heart

If you are sad, grumpy or your heart is broken, shopping will be your best friend. Women practice shopping as additional tool to forget all troubles and make yourself beautiful.

Look at your wardrobe. Accords some polls, every woman use only 30% of her closet. For sure you have trousers or skirt you will never wear. They are size 36, and you are size 40 and your strong belief is that it will fit you perfectly one day. Then you sit in McDonald’s to eat hamburger and you can forget about your dream.

Women can be superstitious. That skirt brings me luck, i had that blouse when i met my boyfriend. This shoes are your fetish, you were dancing whole night and you had many fans because you look so good in them.

Lucy was very unhappy after her breakup. Her friends Sally and Brenda invited her to shopping mall. She had Visa and she joined to them. Lucy was not slim so after she realized that she can’t stand in size 40, she became depressed. Then Brenda started to pick clothes to make her happy. Lucy spent a lot of money, because at the end she just took some things randomly, even without testing. 

After one week she was ready to meet new guys . She was almost ready for Saturday evening party , her friends were at the door and suddenly her necklaces drop her. She bowed to pick it and her dress cracked on the back. That evening she was so depressed that she cancelled all her plans.

Shopping is nice thing, but extreme situations are not good. We are so sad that we want to be happy by force. We jump from deep anger to the highest joy. Some fake things can fascinate us and we will not even check is that real solution for our problems. I am so angry that i will spend money on new fashion collection, but my legs pain because shoes are so tight, and this coat is too big or too small for me. 

Every salesman will have good day when shopping addict come into shopping mall.

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That kind of persons are addicted and they are indeed collectors. They will grab things in any part of the day, and full bags will be result of this shopping mania. Later this person will be maybe hungry or full of debts. Also many people spent their money in online internet shopping.

How many people were cheated by shopping online? 1 from 3 online shoppers were fooled by fake websites who offer ideal conditions for shopping.

 

So, if you practice shopping as cure against sadness or depression, take a look into your wallet. Think about how big financial burden you can handle in next shopping season.

Middle solutions are not good deal

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Life is big tasty cake. People will gather around table to grab the best pieces. Some will take the best parts, others will take only what is left. Who will be the winner? Winner is not person who is faster than others. This is person who reject to take crumbs. 

Everyone wish the best for himself. Beautiful woman, good job, lot of money, nice house. Do you wait granny with plate and cookies or you take some efforts to realize that? Or, you are satisfied with middle solutions? We can’t have everything, but some things we deserve.

Love is area where middle solutions are just comfort. Sometimes, our heart is willing to accept middle solutions because we love someone too much to let him go. We can’t take this eraser because we will suffer.

 

What are middle solutions in love?

I don’t love you so you can be my friend.

I like you but i don’t love you so you can be my mistress.

I want you in my life but not in the way you wish so call me sometimes.

Middle solutions are crumbs. They are destroyers of pride and dignity. Why you take this from guy who underestimates you, if other guy would offer you much more?

Besides, if you are satisfied with crumbs, you will live whole life with pieces. Others will realize their dreams, you will watch other ‘s success and something inside of you will make you frustrated. This little worm is digging into your soul, why you let yourself to live like this?

Big changes need big cuts, the same as you need to throw crumbs if you wish to get whole cake. It is familiar feeling when you love someone so much that you will accept him in every circumstances. 

When you will wake up?

When you see that he respects and love other woman. 

When he is ready to take stars for her, and you are just number for him.

When he is rude or cruel with you, because you are his nothing.

Life is movie, and you are one of actors. What is your role, on the stage or in background? Do you wish to watch others eternally how they take things in front of your nose until you are in the corner?

When someone say to you “life sucks”, be sure this is person who missed his best opportunities. They disappeared in cloud of smoke. So close, and yet so far away, because he had no guts to take whole cake.