character · crises · depression · egoism · elders · energy · envy · family · relations

How strong is connection with your family?

 

I suppose that everyone of you got sweet promise about something what will last for lifetime. Eternal friendship, sisterhood or love, words said in the moment of enchanting feelings, secret pledge about forever. We all feel that when someone makes our life so beautiful. You made love with this woman and you will say that she will be yours forever. Your friend impressed you by his loyalty and you feel as you owe him. If you have rational mind, you will put reserve into your words. Instead of “I will love you forever”, rational words should be ” I will try to make you happy, as long as i could.”

Our paths are different. One mother gave birth to daughters, two sisters. She could not gave them guarantee that life will make them happy. Sometimes, one girl will have easier path than other girl. This is a test, how much this circumstances will have influence on their future connection.

Sarah and Tilda were grown up together. They borrowed each other clothes, they went to night club as teenagers, and they were even sleeping in the same bed as kids. It was four year differences between them. One event changed them both and labelled their relation. Sarah got married in 23. She met this guy, got pregnant and he propose her. It was love on first sight, and marriage was suddenly, as thunder. During that marriage Sarah got more children, one more boy and girl. Tilda stayed unmarried, until 41, she share flat with her boyfriend, who did not propose her yet. Nothing strange on first sight, but Sarah lost her feeling for sister. Her family became center of everything. Her husband and three kids occupied all free time, and Sarah was cold even toward her parents. During years, parents and Tilda were in the role of bank. When Sarah needed money, she called them for financial help. They felt unpleasant because Sarah was often moody, and she did not offer them drink or food when they visited her. They complaint, but Sarah did not understand what is wrong. Her reply was : “I did not sleep, i have a family, they made me crazy. I can’t breath from them.”

As we grow up, our priorities are changing. We will have less time for our parents, and our focus will be on people who share life with us. You can’t have dirty dishes because your mother wants to drink coffee with you, so you will clean your flat before you accept her invitation. You can’t leave your son who got flu, because your mother wants to go in theater with you.

Just, think about, should you erase your past bonds because you are now mother and wife?

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes nasty. When Greta got divorced, she needed help of her mother. She was financially broken and without flat. She was almost on the street, because her husband kick her out. She did not visit her mother 5 years, but when that day came, she had no choice. Her mother accepted her, because it is her daughter. Greta felt so embarrassed. This was enough for her mother, she wanted that her daughter feel guilt.

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What can happen with our past, with life we lived before?

Our parents could be ill.

They can stay without money or in big debts.

You might need your parents or relatives, because you can get into trouble, as divorce.

When we do some changes, it is like we build house. We can’t crush the basic because we bought new furniture. Where will this furniture fit in, if there is no room?

Our parents could be great reminders for life problems. They passed all before, they can give good tips if you ask them. Your mother knows very well how to cook good lunch or how to deal with man in middle crises. Also, just because your sister is unmarried, it doesn’t mean that she has no idea about life. She can be good helper for your children, not just in a role of bank. What if she suddenly earn big money, do you think she will remember you, if you treat her as stranger? Maybe you will need job, and she will not help you because you did not invite her into your new life.

Blood connection is connection from birth. We should all respect our parents, sisters or relatives. When you see photo of family gathering, this is image of respect, devotion and love. One day you will be old too, and your children might forget you, if you don’t teach them how to cherish blood connection for a lifetime.

business · career · character · communication · crises · depression · destiny · relations

How we do the same mistakes again and again?

 

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Mistakes are part of life. When someone says that everything is going smooth all his life, that person lies, because reality is not video game. We never know what can go wrong and how many levels we need to skip for our score.

If you constantly learn on your mistakes, this price is very expensive. Sometimes is necessary to learn from others. Mistakes are problems with hidden chances and family roots. In your family is maybe person who failed in one situation, and now you are passing the same problem. Will you do the same or you wish to read previous book about this?

Louise had all chances for success. Pretty girl and talented teacher had many proposals for marriage, Problem was in her wild side, she was very stubborn and she left her home early, when she was 23. She found man and got marry for him, even he was only 19, not ready for marriage. She got pregnant so they lived in marriage for a year. He left her with excuse that he can’t be father , he was too young. After this Louise found another man, who was without job. They married and stayed together whole her life. He was not good husband. Lazy, aggressive, he dared to slap her even she was the one who earned money. Louise gave birth to 3 sons, all were lazy as their father. When school mate met Louise, she started to cry and talk about her failed life.

20 years later her niece Catherine was student . Also pretty and talented girl, she was studying law. Catherine had this family inheritance, stubborn character and wild nature. Her boyfriends were all the same, hooligans and bad ass guys. But, Catherine did not follow example of his aunt Louise. Her mother always talked her about Louise and her destiny. She used to say : “Don’t finish as Louise. You will work whole your life for some scumbag and even worse, if you will have kids, they will have the same gene. At the end, Catherine had fun with all that guys, but when it comes time to get marry, she listened mother’s advice. She got marry for man with aspirations, who was successful businessman.

If you learn on other’s mistakes, results are next:

You know the story and you can get different point.

You know where was the problem.

You are winner in this dead race.

You are spared of troubles.

When someone warned you about bad situation, this is battle with instructions. You know the enemy, you got weapons, now only your skills will decide about the result. If you can’t play good with good cards, you are loser. It is not necessary that you repeat mistake which was already done. You think that is not the same, so you will go at bottom together with your forerunner? That is suicide. You remind on man who jumps from the highest building, and hope that he will not hit  with his head on the concrete structure.

If you think that life always go with instructions, you are wrong. 

Sometimes, your fake friends will try to win over your back. Did you ever had friend who asked you to help her with choice of job, friends or even partner? “Tell me which friend is good. Which guy is good for me, can you tell me? What kind of job is good for me, can you help me?” Some people ask for nanny, to teach them how to avoid thorns and pick up roses. You are stupid if you go with bloody hands just to make safe ground for other person.

Mistakes in love are so painful. 

If we could only know how will our story end, we would spare ourselves of troubles. Well, sometimes, some signs will tell you that someone before you passed something similar. That scenario already happened. Now you can use that script for your sake. Be wise and learn. These kind of deja vu mistakes happened to someone who can’t fix it. You can do it if you can read between lines.

business · career · character · crises · depression · illusion · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · relations

How to gain respect from people?

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There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

business · character · control · depression · destiny · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · luck · relations

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

couples · depression · erotica · flirt · prejudices · psychology · relations · responsibility

What happens in undefined relation?

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“I don’t know what i feel. ” “My feelings are mixed. ”  This kind of answers you will get when you fall in love in guy who is not into you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, he is just not in the same level as you expected.

When you crush in someone, your heart will give you wrong view, because everything he said or do you can understand as sign. He touched your shoulder and you think he wants you. He was kind with you and you think he cares about you. Unfortunately, love is not always fair, and sometimes we will fall in love in someone who is not able to give love back, because he simply doesn’t feel the same.

What kind of options you can expect in this situation?

He doesn’t like you at all, but he will reject you on gentle way.

 

He likes you, but as friend.

 

He wants to make love with you, but he doesn’t want relation.

I know women very well, and we all want to change men, to be the last love of some men. We believe that our situation can change if we play well. So if he calls you friend, this is indeed something, because many friendships turn into love. For example, Jadda Pinkett and Will Smith started as friends, they were long time friends and later their relation became love.

Here you must be an expert lady and if you ask golden piece in this bunch of stones, act slowly.

Some signs will help you to see do you have chance for something more than friendship.

He has no girlfriend, and every his relation broke, but you are still here as friend.

He spent much time in your company, and ask your opinion about everything.

He said some compliments about your clothes, body or face.

He is jealous on your male friends.

He asks you about your past and he is jealous on former boyfriends.

You have arguments with him, you both insulted each other, but he is still talking with you even you give him hard time.

If you see some of these signs, go in action, seduce him, because love is not fair game and this is lottery, but worthy of risk. You can lose friend, but if you love him and he doesn’t want to be with you , loss is here anyway. For sure you will not feel better if he doesn’t know about your feelings and suddenly some girl take your place.

Another part of this story is different. Some men are not fair players. They will not define their feelings, or they will call you friend, but with first opportunity they will ask sex from you.

Here, don’t let him to cross this line.

If you are in undefined relation, make some rules and remind him that he wanted this kind of game.

Don’t make love with him.

You can spend time with other guys, without asking his permission.

Don’t sacrifice your free time and favorite activities to listen his problems. He doesn’t deserve that.

If you are still not sure what is undefined relations, my male friend said to me this : “I found girl and we are not declared relation yet. We are dating three times at week, and meanwhile i got numbers from other girls. I am not ready yet.” Who can blame him, for game takes two.

Girls, if you doubt in nature of your friend/boyfriend, ask some confident male friend what he thinks about this. Men know the best other men and sometimes you will hear cruel truth from their mouth, because women are too romantic and sensitive to see things clear.

business · career · cougar · couples · crises · cyber space · depression · relations

When infidelity became source for earning money?

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Girl x cheated her boyfriend. He found out and brag about this in social media. He published her naked photos and video about their private moments. Girl is ashamed and crucified not just in her family and friend circle, now unknown strangers hit the rock. What a whore, slut and bitch, how dare she? Familiar story ?

Let’s go back in some old times, when cheating wife was exposed in public square and everyone should spit on her. Today, we brag about democracy and freedom of choice, but still we crucify open minded people, just on other way. We do it on social networks. So, poor women and poor men, before internet appeared, few friends knew that you are cuckold or woman with horns, now everyone knows and judge your lifestyle.

Internet brags about Becky with a good hair. That is Beyonce’s competition, so called mistress with whom Jay Z had affair. Does it really happen? Famous Beyonce sing about woman who steal her husband, but this story is good example of marketing. New album will be sold and they can clap their hands, because all what people wish to hear and see is one big scandal.

Now days we are witnesses of new fashion. Couples want to be participants in Big Brother. I never watch this, but you can’t avoid that shit in every internet portal so i read story about Croatian fiance Marina who crossed limits and became close with Roman, one of participants. Her boyfriend got mad and brag in internet that she is dead for him. Poor girl even doesn’t know that boyfriend will leave her. Or, this is just one good trick, to earn more money?

When we talked about infidelity in past, reactions were on this way:

Poor husband. He is good person, he doesn’t deserve marriage with this bitch.

Poor wife. She takes care of kids, house and works two jobs. And he is cheating her with waitress.

Poor couple. They were unhappy so one of them wanted to reach more happiness.

Now days, rules were changed. We became suspicious about infidelity.

What we will say now?

Who knows, maybe they dealt. They are both freaks.

Maybe they are swingers.

They did it for money, they go in Big Brother to fool people and earn money.

She just wanted to be more attractive to her husband, in a way to show him that someone else want her.

This transformation happens as prostitution of infidelity. This is not dirty secret anymore, this is not morning gossip between two ladies in morning coffee table. This is fun for masses. We are in Roman arena, and we wait until one slave will be thrown in lion’s paws. Tear this cheating husband, because we want big party. Tear this cheating wife, let she serves as bad example. We are hungry as Roman audience, just our victims are killed on soft way.

behavior · business · character · crises · depression · life · luck · prejudices · psychology · relations

How you deal with obstacles in your life?

When you have to deal with problems, usually you will get advice: “Be strong.” Our characters are different and we will handle our hard moments on different ways.

 

Someone will cry and breakdown is possible.

You pass through tough breakup or divorce? You will need hand, but the main decision is on you, how you will handle this situation. If you are strong person, you will not ring on the door of your friends every time when you feel sad and when your ex is missing you. Very important part is your pride. Face it with problems because they will not run away over night.

Life can be as earthquake, ground is shaking under your feet when bad things start to ruin your safety. Time of crises is an explosion. Bomb is here, your life will crush, you will collect small pieces , behind of you is sound of rattle and you are lost. Strong person will consider this situation as challenge. Well, life is testing me, so let me see how i can deal with this. I am fighter, so my odds are not big, but i am in the game. That moron left me and i will find better guy. In fact he do me a favor. I had no power to leave him, but i will be enough strong not to call him back.

If you are weak, you will think about suicide, because for you now is end of the world.
I will not love anyone as i loved him, he was everything to me and my life is over, so i will start to plan my funeral. This pathetic elegy is the main problem of weak people, they give up even they still have chance to fix things. We can see this difference in childhood. Little weak boy lose in monopoly game. He will cry, he is furious and next time he will not play, because he afraid of defeat. His friend is brave guy. He will also lose, but he can’t wait next time. This is adrenaline, challenge. He is very happy to get this kind of revenge. Now i will smash him and i will win, this is how he thinks.

 

When you got bad mark at school, will you give up from studying? Let’s leave school, all this is shit and i don’t want to bother anymore. Or, you will prove to teacher that you are not idiot. You are candidate for excellent mark next time.

 

Life is not fairy tale. If anyone thinks that life is just unwrapped gift, that person is very wrong. We can see in movies that some people can get anything because they are benefited, powerful or simply lucky. This is not realistic view. Behind every victory and happiness is a background. If you dig into other’s life, you will see pain, grief, struggle. Ask reach businessman how he gets success. His money doesn’t come from the sky right into his hands. It was hard battle, and way to success was full of thorns.

Darwin said: “Only the strongest survive.” The strongest people are not those who are over 100 kilograms weight . They are not wrestlers or kick boxers. Real strength came out from clear mind. You might beat everyone if you are resistant, if you don’t give up and if you believe in yourself. If someone thinks opposite, make a challenge. Real fighter will respond on your challenge. Coward will hide in the rat hole and eventually, he will gossip you behind your back.

anxiety · bohemians · career · character · crises · depression · destiny · drama · relations

Do you let others to steal your dreams?

 

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Vision of life is often different than reality, because that vision is based on dreams which will not always come true. As young girl you maybe dreamed about career of famous singer, actress or dancer, but in reality you are secretary, waitress or nurse. In some period of life we stop dreaming, and that situation could lead us into black tunnel of depression.

What to do when your dreams did not realized?

Real end happens when you give up. Until you are in the game, your chances still exist.

Try with different solutions. Previous ways were wrong, so try with new refreshments.

Try with backup plan. You can’t get what you wished , but maybe you wish something similar, what is more possible to get.

Don’t make it worse, so don’t do something what you will regret later, to hurt yourself or to hurt others because things are not good.

Human wishes are curse. When people can’t get what they want, they are frustrated, desperate or even suicidal. It is not the end of the world if that woman doesn’t love you or if you were fired from job, but that affects negative at your self confidence. When you take other’s dreams, you may kill person inside. In movie “The escape from Alcatraz”, prisoner Doc was painter and this made him alive in jail. When headmaster of jail took his tools and forbid him to paint, his life was over, he made suicide.

Many of you will recognize situation when you hold on something what makes your life worth of living. This could be your wife, children, mother, job, or even just kind of hobby. Maybe you like to play piano or guitar, maybe you adore football. You can’t imagine life without these things, and if for some reason you lose your reason for life, you will think on worst.

Joseph lived in small city with mother and father. He suffered from depression and he could not find girlfriend, because of his psychological problems. Mother died from cancer, and one year later, father died from brain stroke. Joseph could not handle this pressure, he felt that he is alone at this world, even he had some friends. He made suicide by hanging, his friends found him in flat, without goodbye note. He lost parents and it was too hard kick for him, because his personality was too fragile and he needed expert help. His death was an alert. It could not happen like this.

Introvert, hypersensitive and depressive people are in black zone, and loss of dreams is big danger for them. They live in beautiful internal world, and when life take this away from them, they will decide about suicide.

I would love to say that all will end well, as in some fairy tale, but it is not always like that. Sometimes, you will not find prince, and you will work at awful job with stinky boss, even this is unfair. Even worse, you will see other people how they live life which you imagined. Someone stole your dreams , as Grinch. Now you live in nightmare.

You can change attitude and focus on good things, for sure that positive side is hidden somewhere, out of focus , where Grinch can’t reach this. There is no guarantees that things will change, but if you give up, for sure you will never catch your fantasies.

crises · depression · destiny · drama · dreams · fantasy · freedom · phobia · relations

How Murphy’s law surprises us?

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When something is bad, don’t worry. It might be worse. Everybody has one of that days, when everything is going wrong.

 

You get up and spill hot coffee on your white dress and then you must clean mess and get late at work. There you will meet grumpy boss and hysterical clients. When you finally can go to lunch pause, food in business restaurant will be disgusting and someone will sit near you to talk about work during you chew this bitter meal.

You will think that someone hit you with spell or made woodoo doll, but this is just bunch of negative circumstances. This is an opposite of what you wish because you sent wrong energy to universe, and universe reply you back with bad events.

Can we block our good luck? Yes, we can do it unintentionally.

Sheila wanted that guy Tony so much, and he was not cold toward her, but she had one unwanted admirer at her workplace. Brian was her roommate and it was hard to work with him, he gave her compliments about her looks, he was staring at her so she was blushing every time when he entered into office. Soon, she became very nervous.
She had date with Tony but she came at cafe bar under stress. Tony noticed that Sheila is grumpy.

– What is today with you sweetie?

– It is Brian again, i can’t work like this, he is jerk, moron and everything the worst. He commented my perfume , that it smells so seductive.

– Don’t pay attention dear, he will stop.

Sheila was too angry, and the main subject of that date was Brian. She could not focus on Tony even she wanted to be with him so much, so Tony left from this date because it was annoying for him. Sheila blamed bad luck, but she did not open gate to happiness. She was focused on problems all the time and it was no place for smile and good news.

When you practice Murphy’s law, you will open way to bad things in your life. It is hard to ignore problems, but if you think about something good, bad things will be more at background. Don’t make things worse, if it can’t be good at the moment.

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Murphy’s law is label for unhappy people, pessimists and losers.

Try to get rid of this bad mark with smile. No, you are not under spell, that is just bad day which will pass soon. You are not the only one, and probably everyone you met had the same experience. You attract what you feel, and if you feel angry, probably you will spill juice or jerk will send you to hell without reason.

Don’t let your belief to defines you. Despair and fear are not winner’s points when you try to make success. I

f you can’t on other way, pretend that everything is all right. Fake it until you make it.

bohemians · character · crises · depression · destiny · freedom · happiness · relations

Are you afraid of challenges?

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Remember game with the bottle in childhood? You are sitting in circle with friends, someone spin the bottle and when this stop spinning, person who is nearest to the bottle will answer on questions. This was unpleasant situation because question were challenges. Some games went so far that picked person should kiss someone.

This was childhood trauma. Girls were playing with Barbara, she was introvert and good material for cruel jokes. They said to her, kiss the tree, otherwise we will avoid you. But Barbara was tough and she rejected to made fool of yourself. Kissing tree was worse than kiss the ugliest guy. Everybody waited but she did not move. That act made her stubborn and later she did good career, because she despise authorities.

Monica was victim of “truth or dare.” She got questions about her sex life, and in circle were some unknown guys. She talked without shame how she changed few guys in her bed, and after this game guys were looking at her with different eyes. One of them wanted to flirt with her, because she was so open minded. She was indeed naive, because her story spread around. The rule of the game was “nothing can’t go out of this circle”, but nobody respected this. She had troubles with rumors about her. Every guy who asked her for a date wanted sex.

The third girl in circle was Andrea. She was silent and old fashioned. She replied on every question in a way ” i don’t have idea, because i never went through this.” Indeed, she was boring. She lived in safe box and she stayed like these until 35. Life saved  her many troubles, but she was prisoner in golden cage. She still lives with her mother and she thinks that God has solution for her. Prince charming will ring on her doorbell and she will be awarded for her purity. Recently guy fooled her on internet. He had fake photos and when they met at coffee he was different person. He said these were photos from his youth, and she was so disappointed.

Truth or dare is life question. Shall we accept challenges or not?
If we want to taste beauty of life, we will sign invisible contract. We accept to bleed inside, to suffer, to cry. Also we will have joyful days, full of life and happiness. Never regret because sometimes you feel that you are frozen, that you can’t get out from your house because life was unfair with you. You will be wiser and stronger after you solve your problems. Also, you will be grateful, because you broke this obstacles. This is pleasure, when you get something what was so difficult to reach.

Barbara was stubborn, Monica was naive, and Andrea was coward. They faced with problems on different ways. Life gave them what they earned in this truth or dare game.