business · career · character · communication · crises · depression · destiny · relations

How we do the same mistakes again and again?

 

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Mistakes are part of life. When someone says that everything is going smooth all his life, that person lies, because reality is not video game. We never know what can go wrong and how many levels we need to skip for our score.

If you constantly learn on your mistakes, this price is very expensive. Sometimes is necessary to learn from others. Mistakes are problems with hidden chances and family roots. In your family is maybe person who failed in one situation, and now you are passing the same problem. Will you do the same or you wish to read previous book about this?

Louise had all chances for success. Pretty girl and talented teacher had many proposals for marriage, Problem was in her wild side, she was very stubborn and she left her home early, when she was 23. She found man and got marry for him, even he was only 19, not ready for marriage. She got pregnant so they lived in marriage for a year. He left her with excuse that he can’t be father , he was too young. After this Louise found another man, who was without job. They married and stayed together whole her life. He was not good husband. Lazy, aggressive, he dared to slap her even she was the one who earned money. Louise gave birth to 3 sons, all were lazy as their father. When school mate met Louise, she started to cry and talk about her failed life.

20 years later her niece Catherine was student . Also pretty and talented girl, she was studying law. Catherine had this family inheritance, stubborn character and wild nature. Her boyfriends were all the same, hooligans and bad ass guys. But, Catherine did not follow example of his aunt Louise. Her mother always talked her about Louise and her destiny. She used to say : “Don’t finish as Louise. You will work whole your life for some scumbag and even worse, if you will have kids, they will have the same gene. At the end, Catherine had fun with all that guys, but when it comes time to get marry, she listened mother’s advice. She got marry for man with aspirations, who was successful businessman.

If you learn on other’s mistakes, results are next:

You know the story and you can get different point.

You know where was the problem.

You are winner in this dead race.

You are spared of troubles.

When someone warned you about bad situation, this is battle with instructions. You know the enemy, you got weapons, now only your skills will decide about the result. If you can’t play good with good cards, you are loser. It is not necessary that you repeat mistake which was already done. You think that is not the same, so you will go at bottom together with your forerunner? That is suicide. You remind on man who jumps from the highest building, and hope that he will not hit  with his head on the concrete structure.

If you think that life always go with instructions, you are wrong. 

Sometimes, your fake friends will try to win over your back. Did you ever had friend who asked you to help her with choice of job, friends or even partner? “Tell me which friend is good. Which guy is good for me, can you tell me? What kind of job is good for me, can you help me?” Some people ask for nanny, to teach them how to avoid thorns and pick up roses. You are stupid if you go with bloody hands just to make safe ground for other person.

Mistakes in love are so painful. 

If we could only know how will our story end, we would spare ourselves of troubles. Well, sometimes, some signs will tell you that someone before you passed something similar. That scenario already happened. Now you can use that script for your sake. Be wise and learn. These kind of deja vu mistakes happened to someone who can’t fix it. You can do it if you can read between lines.

business · character · control · depression · destiny · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · luck · relations

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

behavior · business · career · character · crises · cyber space · destiny · dreams · energy · relations

Who deserves second chance?

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Fool me once, mistake is yours. Fool me twice, or for a third time, mistake is mine. People are not robots, so everyone can do something bad to other person. No matter if you miss to do something good or you did bad thing, you made mistake. Now this is open space for another chance.

When you give another chance , your heart is opened to forgiveness. Forgive, forget and give new opportunity because we are all from flesh and blood. What is indeed second chance? This is benefit and we can’t splash it again. Inside of that second chance is also an alert , if you fool me again, this is forever.

Heart is soft and there is big space for forgiveness. Sweet words are melting poison, and person can cross us with promises and lies. Second, third or forth chance, who care, if he forgot first time, he will do it again. So, when you use second chance as expanded background for more bad activities, this happens in bad purpose.

Think about to whom you will give second chance. Will you exterminate lies and fake promises from the same person if you give this chance again?

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Heather and Mona were friends for a long time. That friendship ended up when Heather start to date with Mona’s ex boyfriend Paul. They broke up before a month, and Heather jumped into that relation without notify her friend. Mona did not accepted it well so she avoided Heather for a years. She was hurt because her heart was still suffering, and Heather put knife there with her decision to date with Paul. Few years later Heather met Mona at the street and they talked about past times. She was not with Paul anymore and she wanted another chance. Mona accepted her again, she missed her old friendship. After some time, Mona saw mysterious sms on the phone of her husband. Now she was happily married and she trusted to him. That sms was from Heather, she wanted to drink coffee with Mona’s new husband. All doubts went back. Mona kicked her out forever. Her husband denied invitation from Heather, and Mona regret why she allow to herself to mess with Heather again. She was not indeed worthy of try.

When we give someone another chance, this decision can’t develop over night. Why this person did not use first chance? Why we are now in situation that we need another proof of loyalty and devotion? It would be easier to erase this person from life, to give opportunity to someone new.

It is easier to trust someone new, because we start from the beginning. 

There are no glitch from the past. We don’t see tail from past mistakes. Man was drinking alcohol and lose his job. Now, after rehab, he start to work again, and he drink again. Maybe, under pressure of new chance, he will mistake again. Second chance can be burden for those who are starting the same path again. It is like you repeat the same class, once you failed, and you are tense because of past experiences.

If someone did mistake, think about intention behind it. Maybe that person did not know about consequences. Maybe this is just indolence. In that case we can forgive, with warning that this is the last chance.

Second chance is not invitation for third or forth chance. This is yellow card, as in football. You are still in, but if you mistake again, you are out forever.

destiny · drama · dreams · moral · prejudices · psychology · relations · romance · seduction · sensibility

How is it feel when love is platonic?

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“I love him as best friend and brother. We understand each other as twins. He touched my spirit. But, i have no desires toward him.
This is definition of platonic love, relation about two persons based on friendship, without passion. When people make excuses why to stay together in relation which is not hot, they talk about platonic love. They will talk about stars which lose light with years. They will talk about common bills instead of kiss. Also, they will see family and relatives every time when they wish to make love. This kind of love should be free of every spontaneous reaction, anger, jealousy or rage. Platonic couple is connected with blood relation, and there is no jealousy because they have mutual roots.
I could mention many couples who fit into definition of platonic love. So, some of my female friends talked about this feeling, even they have no clue that is platonic.
” I don’t know am i fall in love or just loved by him. I mean, my ex, we were so hot, but my husband gives me safety. “
 
” We are not hot kids anymore. But we will grow old together. “
” Sex doesn’t matters anymore. We trust each other “
 
Platonic love is relation with weakness. There is always danger, when one person is more hungry for passion. Imagine Jean and Gavin. She was wild girl, and he was cool, flegmatic guy. Jean had power to excite Gavin, and he had power to make Jean calm. Butterflies were not around them after few years, but pure love was there. One day Jean fall in love in Marco, guy from internet. They connected through social network, in chat. First, she hated him because he was arrogant and rude, with ironic sense for jokes, he was mocking her on first sight. Later, they were fighting as warriors. How she could not stand him! Suddenly, they kissed and revealed new part of themselves. They wrote thousand hot messages, Jean explode as bomb. She was dry wood , and Marco made big flame, just with few steps. In the moment, Jean is flying between her marriage and virtual affair.
When two people share platonic love, they should be honest.
Some promises are necessary.
I can’t stay with you forever.
 
If you want to let go, i will agree. I don’t hold you.
 
If i sleep with someone, i take this piece which i miss. 
 
I am sure we will talk and deal about everything. We don’t bring quick decisions, we are reasonable duo. 
 
We care for each other health, we worry about each other but we have control. We will not make love in beach as crazy couple.
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Platonic love is flower without smell, or this smell disappeared with time. If you want to be spared of pain , platonic love is ideal for you because all is clear at beginning. Once when you start to accept things with heart, you will get out from platonic zone.
anxiety · bullying · cyber space · destiny · discrimination · drama · friendship · jealousy · relations

Who watch your back?

Sometimes we can’t handle problems alone. Even the strongest person will need shoulder for cry or just a hug, as sign that everything will be better. If you are woman, you will need double dose. We are sensitive creatures and even we don’t want to admit it, sometimes we need corner for cry.

When you feel as the whole world is against you, when your life is expressed only in black color, you will need support. Our friends, sisters, brothers, parents and our beloved husbands or wives are our shelter. We expect comfort from them because they are in our hearts.

Dana came from work, exhausted and angry. She cried, not because of grief, he was angry because at her workplace was huge injustice. Her office mate is smoking and nobody wants to act against her, and Dana is choking every day in cloud of cigarette. At the end of work time they had fight and Dana almost slap her. It was very ugly scene at office, but necessary. So Dana wanted support of her husband Dylan. He talked with her, but there was no emotions in his voice. He talked about behavior at workplace, about holes in law system, and general conclusion was that life is a shit. She did not get hug or kiss. Later he turn on television and it was end of conversation. She was even more furious. She went on Skype and talked with her virtual friend Boris from Moscow. Suddenly, stranger understood all what she wanted to say. He did not use much words, but she make her laugh with some jokes. She felt close to him, more closer than to Dylan.

When we talk about our personal problems, is our beloved partner always right choice for conversation?

When you spend every day with one person, argues are unnecessary. He is also tired, exhausted, maybe unhappy. So, some stranger will have more energy to comfort you. At least, he is more objective, and if he says wrong words you will not yell at him. You can close camera to finish conversation.

What when our support is missing? When Louise lost virginity, she said about it her sister Linda. Linda had breakup with boyfriend and all what she said was :”So, big deal.” Louise was disappointed, but she tried to understand that circumstances were not good to share her secret. Even, she always remember how she could not share her first love experience with sister.

Talking about other problems will help to forget ours. I always think, if i can help someone with advice, my existence is not useless. I can’t help myself, but maybe i can help others so this is not in vain. Maybe, one day it will turn back to me for good. Of course, i will always think who is person worthy of my help. I don’t want to involve in something what is not my business or to get damage from this.

You are good support if you are objective. It is not necessary that you put your hand in fire and get burn. You can tell to person about self respect, about positive views of some situation or just to make someone smile. Just don’t feel sorry because this is an opposite effect.

Support is feeling that you can lean on someone. That person will be your right hand when you can’t anymore. She will help you to get up. But, at the end, you will deal with your problems alone. Nobody will get dirty for you.

behavior · crises · cyber space · destiny · discrimination · erotica · flirt · relations

How much odds you have with heartbreaker?

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Heartbreaker is special kind of man. Deep in himself he hates women, for some reasons. Difference between him and playboy is in ability to feel. Playboy likes women, he tries to give love to every woman, even it is not possible to make everyone happy. This guy is as thunder, he hits and leave devastated hearts, and he doesn’t feel guilt.

How is it possible that some men hate women , even they are heterosexual? If you know man who hit woman, who leave her with few children and doesn’t care for her, who leave pregnant woman without explanation and who doesn’t give alimony, he is such kind.

Let’s go to the past, so you will see why A, B and C became heartbreakers.

Man A. He is son of divorced parents. He lived with mother, and she was changing her lovers as socks. So in this flat were many men. It was uncle Sam, uncle John and bunch of uncles were regular guests in that home. Mother of A was slut. Everybody talked about this.

Man B. He was poor and ugly. Girls were mocking him and nobody wanted to go in prom night with him. He was the main topic of bet and jokes.

Man C. He was weird. He could not fit in, and girls were avoiding him.

Time was playing important role and with years situation changed for this guys.

Where are they now?

Man A lives in another city. He is cute guy, but his relation are short and instant. His bed is very traffic. He has sex with women and later he leaves them, without explanation. Reason: all women are sluts.

Man B is rich. He earned a lot of money and he has private business. He is using women for sex and he can’t fall in love. Reason: every woman will break his heart because he is ugly.

Man C is still single, but he is the main star at internet. He has popular profile and women are asking for him. He thinks that all women are the same and he breaks hearts virtually. Reason: women would leave him anyway, and that is a dream.

Sometimes, our trauma has deep roots. Something hurt us in childhood and we can’t go further. Mother who beaten her son. Mother who left his son alone and gave him to adoption. This man can’t blame his mother, but she is now everywhere. Her mirror reflection is in every his relation. He can’t get rid of bad vision, and that is why he can’t love.

If you will date with heartbreaker, he will behave on this way:

He will be jealous on every man in your life, no matter is this father, boss or friend.

He will accuse you that you are dishonest.

He will check you and control your movement.

He will be distrustful and suspicious.

Whatever bad happens in your relation, your will be main culprit. 

If you want to owe his heart , it is not enough to seduce him. You must change his perception about women. If that is possible, you have chances. Be gentle, kind and persistent, but don’t insist too long. Your heart is also not a toy, and don’t let him to play with you.

Heartbreaker will wake up when he lose someone who really cared about him. You don’t need to seek for revenge. Walk away quietly , without track.

anxiety · cougar · cyber · destiny · erotica · lovers · relations · romance

Who is girl for one night?

 

On first sight one night stand looks ideal. No obligations, no promises, no tears. If both, man and woman decide about sex for one night, there is no complain later. Everyone should walk forward, without regrets.

Human heart is fragile thing and it is not always so simple. Maybe we can promise to follow the rules of this game, but shall we hold this promise after it happens? Our mind had a plan, but heart doesn’t follow that tips.

 

Here are some females reactions:

 

He did not greet me at the street.

– He did not call me, but he said he will call me.

– I saw him with another girl.

– He said that he is not ready for serious relation now.

– He said that i was just his comfort to get over ex girlfriend.

All is good when you are in the moment of passion, he kiss you like nobody before, you have so much pleasure, he whispers soft words in your ears, and you feel like his queen, like in dream. Then you woke up and fail on the ground. What a jerk, he has no feelings, he is an animal, moron and so on. But did not you deal with him? That is the worst part, when you promise something what you cannot hold on. That is in women brain, to make promises and to hope things will be different.

List of woman’s illusions:

 

1. i will be his best lover, after night with me he will leave his girlfriend

2. he just need a time for adjustment, i will wait for him

3. he has some problems and he can’t be with me now, but after he solve that problem, we will be together for a sure

4. he is too busy , i will have patience until he finds time for me

That is part of game of being easy or being hard. If someone date with you because of sex , sex will also be reason to break up when he please to his wishes. That is the point of one night stand, he will not listen your problems, because you are here to enjoy with him, not to discuss with him.

 

That is why flirts and relations are not the same. In flirt sex is the main part, but in real relations sex is one of elements. 

 

So if you accept one night stand, this is risk and you must be ready that you will never see that awesome person again. You can’t blame him or judge him because he disappeared. There were signs you did not want to see, and he was not obligated to stay. Mature women with experience will easier handle one night stand because life taught them that hot moment doesn’t mean eternal love. If girl is a virgin, and without experience it will be harder to believe that awesome guy is not prince on white horse.
He got what he wanted and he doesn’t need you anymore. You can dream about him or forget. Use it as lesson next time when someone try to repeat this adventure with you. There is golden rule : you can’t keep man who doesn’t want to be kept.

anxiety · bohemians · career · character · crises · depression · destiny · drama · relations

Do you let others to steal your dreams?

 

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Vision of life is often different than reality, because that vision is based on dreams which will not always come true. As young girl you maybe dreamed about career of famous singer, actress or dancer, but in reality you are secretary, waitress or nurse. In some period of life we stop dreaming, and that situation could lead us into black tunnel of depression.

What to do when your dreams did not realized?

Real end happens when you give up. Until you are in the game, your chances still exist.

Try with different solutions. Previous ways were wrong, so try with new refreshments.

Try with backup plan. You can’t get what you wished , but maybe you wish something similar, what is more possible to get.

Don’t make it worse, so don’t do something what you will regret later, to hurt yourself or to hurt others because things are not good.

Human wishes are curse. When people can’t get what they want, they are frustrated, desperate or even suicidal. It is not the end of the world if that woman doesn’t love you or if you were fired from job, but that affects negative at your self confidence. When you take other’s dreams, you may kill person inside. In movie “The escape from Alcatraz”, prisoner Doc was painter and this made him alive in jail. When headmaster of jail took his tools and forbid him to paint, his life was over, he made suicide.

Many of you will recognize situation when you hold on something what makes your life worth of living. This could be your wife, children, mother, job, or even just kind of hobby. Maybe you like to play piano or guitar, maybe you adore football. You can’t imagine life without these things, and if for some reason you lose your reason for life, you will think on worst.

Joseph lived in small city with mother and father. He suffered from depression and he could not find girlfriend, because of his psychological problems. Mother died from cancer, and one year later, father died from brain stroke. Joseph could not handle this pressure, he felt that he is alone at this world, even he had some friends. He made suicide by hanging, his friends found him in flat, without goodbye note. He lost parents and it was too hard kick for him, because his personality was too fragile and he needed expert help. His death was an alert. It could not happen like this.

Introvert, hypersensitive and depressive people are in black zone, and loss of dreams is big danger for them. They live in beautiful internal world, and when life take this away from them, they will decide about suicide.

I would love to say that all will end well, as in some fairy tale, but it is not always like that. Sometimes, you will not find prince, and you will work at awful job with stinky boss, even this is unfair. Even worse, you will see other people how they live life which you imagined. Someone stole your dreams , as Grinch. Now you live in nightmare.

You can change attitude and focus on good things, for sure that positive side is hidden somewhere, out of focus , where Grinch can’t reach this. There is no guarantees that things will change, but if you give up, for sure you will never catch your fantasies.

communication · couples · crises · destiny · drama · flirt · jealousy · life · lovers · relations

Did you try to refresh relation with your ex?

Ways of heart are strange  and love is unpredictable phenomenon. We can love same person twice because first time maybe we were not ready and mature enough to realize that is true love. Sometimes, couple will split and then make reunion again after a while because they missed each other too much and something left unsaid.

When is it possible, on which way you can fix your broken relation and start again?

Think about what separated you in past.

Reasons might be : 

 

if your partner went in another city and you meet him after some time, if you are both still single

– if you were both too young and your relation broke , so you can meet again in mature ages

– if tradition, religion, parents did not approve your love, you can split temporary or hide, then it is possible to continue relation in other circumstances

 

Just, be careful if you want to be together with the same person again.

That person can use fake reasons to misguide you for his selfish purpose.

For example in this cases:

you were poor, now you earn big money

 

– you were the one who broke relation, now your ex partner wants to get revenge

 

– that person just want to make someone else jealous

– that person is lonely and he doesn’t have anyone new in his mind, so he tries with safe option

Relations are as mirrors. Once they broke, you can fix them, but you still see through cracks. Also, the same mistakes are not allowed anymore, because every time you say or do something what broke your trust, it will be flashback. Oh no, you did it again? He is again turn around every time when pretty woman appears? She again spent your money in shopping without ask you permission?

Richard Burton and Elisabeth Taylor were twice in marriage. This famous couple passed through split and reunion, they split again but she was love of his life. They were proof that love is not enough.

The same happened to Sienna Miller and Jude Law, they split and they were together again, but they were not meant to each other.

When you start new relation, you are without burden because everything is new.

You will be more relaxed with someone who is unknown for you and for your heart. But when you start relation with same person twice, you are nervous, because it is like you are reading the same book twice. Maybe you missed something important so you did not understand the point?

 

That is individual, and everyone can try. If it doesn’t work again, remember why this happened. Problems which appeared for the first time are still here, in second form, because you can’t still solve this. That is the reason why you stuck in abyss and there is no way out.

crises · depression · destiny · drama · dreams · fantasy · freedom · phobia · relations

How Murphy’s law surprises us?

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When something is bad, don’t worry. It might be worse. Everybody has one of that days, when everything is going wrong.

 

You get up and spill hot coffee on your white dress and then you must clean mess and get late at work. There you will meet grumpy boss and hysterical clients. When you finally can go to lunch pause, food in business restaurant will be disgusting and someone will sit near you to talk about work during you chew this bitter meal.

You will think that someone hit you with spell or made woodoo doll, but this is just bunch of negative circumstances. This is an opposite of what you wish because you sent wrong energy to universe, and universe reply you back with bad events.

Can we block our good luck? Yes, we can do it unintentionally.

Sheila wanted that guy Tony so much, and he was not cold toward her, but she had one unwanted admirer at her workplace. Brian was her roommate and it was hard to work with him, he gave her compliments about her looks, he was staring at her so she was blushing every time when he entered into office. Soon, she became very nervous.
She had date with Tony but she came at cafe bar under stress. Tony noticed that Sheila is grumpy.

– What is today with you sweetie?

– It is Brian again, i can’t work like this, he is jerk, moron and everything the worst. He commented my perfume , that it smells so seductive.

– Don’t pay attention dear, he will stop.

Sheila was too angry, and the main subject of that date was Brian. She could not focus on Tony even she wanted to be with him so much, so Tony left from this date because it was annoying for him. Sheila blamed bad luck, but she did not open gate to happiness. She was focused on problems all the time and it was no place for smile and good news.

When you practice Murphy’s law, you will open way to bad things in your life. It is hard to ignore problems, but if you think about something good, bad things will be more at background. Don’t make things worse, if it can’t be good at the moment.

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Murphy’s law is label for unhappy people, pessimists and losers.

Try to get rid of this bad mark with smile. No, you are not under spell, that is just bad day which will pass soon. You are not the only one, and probably everyone you met had the same experience. You attract what you feel, and if you feel angry, probably you will spill juice or jerk will send you to hell without reason.

Don’t let your belief to defines you. Despair and fear are not winner’s points when you try to make success. I

f you can’t on other way, pretend that everything is all right. Fake it until you make it.