A man who uses every opportunity

 

If you are one of those women who think that your man will change, you are wrong. Even if it is, you are not the one who will change him. He will be changed by own decision or circumstances in life, or he will stay the same, but with another skin.

When man has ability as chameleon, he is step forward. He can be ready for all surprises and he will be able to rule with all situations.

Amanda was rich daughter and her parents were masters in small city. She was cocky, glamorous and somehow cruel, so many men were afraid to approach her. Hugh was poor guy without parents, he was earning for life by fixing cars and motorbikes, and he lived in rented flat. They met in gym and Amanda captured his eyes at first moment, when she was exercising at Treadmill, by guidance on her coach. Hugh involved in their conversation and give her few advices, how to keep form. Amanda was interested for this rude guy, because he did not care for nice manners and he was not impressed by her at all. At least, he didn’t show this immediately. She was the one who asked him to drink coffee together. The rest was history, Hugh became member of rich family in period of one year.

Her father did not accept Hugh so easily, so he got task to open his private business, with his help and investment. Hugh was under magnifier of whole family, so he learnt few foreign languages just to please them, he learnt to eat on fancy way and to dance and play golf. Amanda could say that she changed him , but it was not true. When she was not near him, Hugh was again in his favorite pub with drinking buddies, and easy waitress.

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Women are used to say : 

“I learnt him how to act decent. His mother did not do good job in childhood.”

“I changed him, he is not looking at other women anymore.”

“I forced him to leave his idiot friends. They had bad influence on him. “

“He is now under my control.”

All this are misleads. Men will do what they like, you only think that you are creator of their new life. They stopped with old ways because they got tired and it became useless for them. Maybe they hide their old habits and they come back in old life from time to time. This is something you can’t know.

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What is indeed romantic?

 

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Stereotypes develop from childhood. Differences between genders grow through traditional values , modify with time, but skeletons stay unchanged , no matter about fashion and progress. Let me remind you, if you gave birth to boy, what will you buy him as toy? Little car, ball or plastic gun? If you gave birth to girl, what will you buy to her? Doll, pink dress or flowers? As we made labels for seats, we also labelled women and men, to see why is something suitable, and why other things are not appropriate.

Ask random man what he would buy to woman. He will say : roses , if i like her. Red roses for love, white roses for appreciation, yellow roses for honor and friendship, and orange roses as sign of passion. Well, did you ask her, do you like flowers, anyway?

Some women will melt on first sight, when they get flowers. “Oh, how nice. He is real gentleman. ” Others will say : “What i will do with this roses, when they fade? I have no nerves to change water every day, besides, i have allergy. ” Despite of all , some men will treat women on equal way, and they will think that roses are universal recipe to capture woman’s heart.

Do you want drag woman to bed? Give her roses.

Do you want to make an apology because you hurt her? Give her roses.

You want to borrow money from her? Give her roses.

You want to say goodbye to her? Give her roses.

Poor flowers suffer from so much purposes, and the most funny part is when flower is artificial or not fresh. Faded roses at desk are dead nature, as artificial rose petals. Well, that is flower, who made difference, even it doesn’t smell nice?

Now, i bet everyone of you met granny with roses. If you visit coffee bars or night clubs, you have seen this creature. Old woman who wish to sell bunch of roses, because that is tradition, that is appropriate. Which kind of woman doesn’t want roses, she must be masculine or at least not well mannered.

When granny with roses approach to you and your partner, she is ready to manipulate. Now, see next scenario in your minds.

Your partner :  “Damn, i should buy her rose.  She will think that i am idiot without feelings. “

You : “If i don’t accept, he will think that i am not a lady. “

So, granny with roses wait to get her money. For sure, she plays on feeling of guilt. She spread poisoned arrows in both ways, to make couple guilty by default. Man buy rose, and woman smile and said : “oh, thank you dear. ” Granny puts money in the pocket.

I am not afraid to say that granny is promoter of bullshit. I saw many times old lady who was disturbing and annoying by her attempts to sell roses. Maybe you wish to whisper on your partner’s ear or kiss him, and she came between you to offer you rose , without respect to your privacy. Also, buying flowers should be spontaneous act. On this way, your partner is trapped. Maybe he spent last money on drinks, and now he must buy rose?

What granny with roses offer is far away from love and respect. She is selling product. She is kind of beggar, just not without money. Also, she is challenger, to check are you and partner on the same line. If you both agree, accept this flower. Well, if you not, send her to hell.

Women are caught in the network of rivalry. I got roses, you did not get. I am pretty, you are ugly. This funny circle is made of vanity, not from love. Roses which granny offered are faded, a long time ago. It just looks like sign of attention, this is indeed moral blackmail.

If it is not on Internet, it never happened

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If it is not on Internet, this event never happened. If you travel somewhere, celebrate anniversary with husband, celebrate birthday, put your photos that whole world see this. Otherwise, your life does not exist.
I remember when i opened my sister’s diary and found something fishy, and later she got angry at me. Nowadays, when you open someone’s Facebook and find something fishy, person will get angry cause you did not press like or make comment.
I noticed that people forgot difference between secret and private.
Oh, you are married? I did not know that. It has been two years since i got married and some people at my workplace still questioning how i changed my surname. No, i did not share photos at my official e-mail, i did not bring cakes from wedding, i don’t talk about mother in law when i wait lunch at business restaurant. Simply, i think, this is my business. It is not their business, and at least it is not Internet business.
How many times i saw private talk on public statuses, husband and wife who are arguing in front of their thousand friends, photos of their children and kitchen? Once woman from Venezuela wanted to share photos of her family in tag, in my page. I said her, i have my life, and this is my website, with all respect, keep photos of your family for your close friends. I don’t want to see it. I am not jealous, envious or rude, i just have my boundaries, and i don’t need photos of your son who is playing in the mud with other children.
The best marriages and relations were made in silence. It is not kind of silence where you hide your partner. It is kind of silence where you don’t talk about your conflicts in public, where you don’t notify your friends about your private details and when you have this happy smile on your face because you put your privacy under lock.
Once i read about tennis couple , Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf, who were always private couple. They were not jumping out with every photo of their kids, with every kiss and hug. Or to made porno video, as Kim Kardashian, to earn money from this.
The meaning of love is sacred. If i had conflict with my husband, this is between me and him. We will sit and talk, we will cry or scream, we will make peace. I never wanted to hear public advices as “He is not worthy of you, find better ” or “This is not good for you, i feel this. “
People are not always trustful. Many of them will celebrate your fall or they will not care. People love drama, but not because they wish to participate, they wish to have fun and gossip. If you give them gossip material, they will laugh to you under your back.
One Friday evening my neighbors had terrible fight. Woman was crying, her husband was yelling and they smashed something, i don’t know, i heard noise. When i saw that man few days later, i just said hello. I did not ask him about noise, crying or drama. It is his personal thing. As my husband said: “If he falls on our balcony,  we will call police.”
Technology progress did not give us much private space. We see other’s underwear, dirty socks, untidy rooms, unhealthy food. We see fat women who wish to be x plus models cause this is popular. We see even scenes from other’s funerals.
I always support curtains over private life. What is between two people is not show for audience. People are not paying my bills neither sleeping with me, so that is my right.

Book and review

 

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Recently i wrote book about outsiders, cause i made group at Facebook and it inspired me to write something about this phenomenon. When i created group, i got requests of many people, and some of them thought that they will chat there cause they felt lonely. Program in their head was totally wrong, cause i had no intention to open dating site and chat service. I wanted people who think out of standards, who see beyond social conventions and who are able to make progress. So all these loners, pests and rigid people i rejected.

I don’t know how someone can get an idea that outsider is lame creature who beg for friendship, relation, attention? So i wrote a book to explain my view.

In this book i got awesome review from British author Patricia McDonald .

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By Pat McDonald
Oct 12, 2017
This is a book to make you think. I found myself pondering introspectively about my childhood and developmental years. Whilst it reinforced some of my beliefs about myself, it made me reassess others; it even made me look again at why I took the path to become a bullying activist during my working life. The author has an extraordinary insight for one so young and a rare understanding of human behaviour. Having just discovered the truth that in hardship you discover just who your friends are, to read it here hits home. I thought I had friends until two years ago and a brain tumour was discovered; it still amazes me that only one person has come back since I survived and all the others disappeared. They say the ‘Truth will set you free’ – sometimes it is hard to take! This is well worth reading. I heard today that the petition I signed to lobby Parliament for including teaching mental health in schools in the UK has just been accepted and the debate is scheduled for November 2017, one small step! Always believing myself a black sheep, and I tick so many of her boxes to confirm it, it is the why that has been challenged. You are indeed never too old to learn especially about yourself. This may have helped me sooner had I read it years ago, as it was it took me 55 years to like myself! Well done Kristina Gallo! Pat McDonald British Crime Author
Here is the book, also you can leave your review and i will be happy if you read it.
You can leave your review here:

Make choice, regret is expensive

 

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I don’t have luck. Me and my bad luck. We will say this often when nothing good happens in our life. Then, happiness will leave track. You hear someone is knocking on the door? If you don’t open, person will leave and maybe return next time. Or never. The same is with opportunities. They are here, and if you don’t use this moment, all what is left is regret.

Ivan had good chance to work in Switzerland. He was engineer and he got offer to work on project , for good salary. He was thinking because this opportunity has a price. He should move from Croatia, together with this family, and to live in Luzern. He should left his friends, parents who were old and sick and simply to start for a new life.  After many doubts he gave up. How he will leave his city, friends from childhood and how his parents will live without his visits? He had children and they used on school, how would they fit in Luzern? He stayed at his job, for average salary. After ten years, when his factory fall in debts and director announced bankruptcy, he remembered his business chance.

Similar situation made Eva to regret. She was between two men. One was handsome, with temporary job, and other was rich, less handsome but stable and with good character. She chose first. Her life with Victor was hell. He spent her money and runaway with waitress. Eva spent whole night with postcard from Filip. Meanwhile he got marry and Eva remembered her missed chance. She wanted adventure and life with Filip would be boring, accord their view. Or maybe not? She choose Victor and it was big fail.

Every choice leave consequences.

What occupation you will choose? How about your job, life partner?

Will you quit present job and ask for new?

Will you marry for that man?

You are pregnant and you don’t want to keep your baby?

Our choice will leave mark in our soul. How could it be and what would happen if you choose different? Sound of regret is very sad. Maybe you did not have guts to risk more. Maybe your sacrifice would be too big and painful.

Regret is bad follower. If you did not choose right, try to be happy with things and persons you have. You did not recognize what is good for you, so now make your choice better and live with this.

Why are people attracted to gambling?

 

Get up early and stay at work , then repeat it until weekend. It doesn’t sound nice , isn’t it? Industrial age invented work time 8 hours, and when alarm clock rings , this sound is worse than any bad songs you listened during your life. So, thoughts about easy money are present in your mind, you would sell soul to devil just to stay in bed. That is how average person lives, work for money.

One day i was walking in the street and two pretty girls gave me free tickets for casino. It was promo ticket and i went there to taste luck. I did not win, but they wake up my curiosity so next time i came with my money and won. During seven years i was winning and losing , depends of luck. I don’t have debts but i heard about people with bad destiny, who get into troubles because of pathological  gambling. I heard about neighbor who lost flat because he had no money to return. I heard about man who spent social recompense for his children, all on poker table. I heard about other man, who never came back in his country, because somewhere in overseas he lost huge money in casino.

Why are people attracted to gambling?

Escape from routine. 

When you spent all day in office to earn 30 EURO daily, your sight is focused on machine which can bring you jackpot. Sit half hour and you might earn more money than whole month. The same, you can lose your salary for half hour. This is risk and if you feel your heart is beating, you are addicted.

Possibility to meet interesting people.

For sure, in casino is always something happening. You can meet even celebrities . You can get advices how to gamble. Also you can share experiences.

Tournaments.

Many casinos have organized tournaments with rewards for the most successful players.

Last time you won.

That is how story starts. You won when you were there and now you want to win again. Or, someone else won and you are hoping that is your turn.

Last time you lose.

If you lost money, you wish to get it back. And how you will return money, if you don’t play again?

You are depressed or sad.

This game will raise your blood pressure. If you get money, you might forget reason why you are sad. Alert, if you lose money, you will get out from there with more anger than you get in.

No matter do you play on slot machines, roulette or poker, your intentions are to get money. It means, you are player. There are also other kind of people, observers. These are the worst. I remember woman who sit next to me , with cigarette in her mouth and tried to talk while i was gambling. She was not there to join, she wanted to see how others lose money and to disturb. So i said to her to go in coffee bar for chat.

You will easy recognize players who are not only observers. 

They never talk with you. They are focused on their game.

They play sometimes on few machines. Automatic button is turn on, so they wish to increase their odds to win more money.

Sometimes they are swearing , it means they are losing. 

They knock on machine, for luck. They play with smallest coins, just to be there. It means they already lost much.

If you see someone who is bragging about big amount of money, be sure that he lost a lot before. That is darkness of gambling, you will lost much money before you win. You will win and then it will not be enough, so you will play and then lost. Once, when debt is here, you will start to make plan B. Maybe you did not eat because you need money for gambling? You did not go to hairdresser because this time you feel lucky?

Gambling is one of sins. If you are minor, gambling is forbidden to you and owner of casino will pay big money if minors are gambling there.

Even this addiction is invisible, gambling is red apple with worm inside. When you drink, you feel dizziness. If you smoke, you will start coughing. If you eat too much, you will feel sickness. Well, when you are gambling, there are no signs of alert, just your empty wallet. Then you will start to ask people to lend you money. Then you will sell some jewelry because you need money for one more time.

Gerard Piquet, famous Spanish footballer has habit to gamble. If he lose money, he will not feel sad, because he has more than enough. When ordinary person lose money, trouble is here. Everywhere in casino are warnings about influence of gambling.

Gambling is somewhere between hell and paradise. Losers are in hell, and winners in paradise. If you once won and then lose , you are in purgatory. You will for sure back again in the game.

What happens on date from nightmare?

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It is first date and you want to hear good impression about yourself. Think before speak, and when you speak behave yourself. It is very different situation when you sit in front of person which you don’t know well. You can use profanity if you meet with your best friend because he got used to it. Well, if you say “hello hootie” to girl on first date, you will be labelled as jerk. In this case girl might feel cheap or as your number, and you sound as someone without manners.

Young guys are often not aware that girls are sensitive, and what sounds as joke could be bad echo in their ears, as mocking.

What she doesn’t want to hear?

– you look fat in this skirt

– these boots look cheap

– there is something in your breath, did you eat garlic for dinner?

– you remind me on my ex girl

– can you pay this bill, i have no enough money for tonight

Also, girls sometimes not understand that man is not their therapist, mother or shoulder for crying.

 


What he doesn’t want to hear?

I have so painful period, i bleed so much.

– Do you like my makeup?

– What type of car you drive? 

– My ex boyfriend is here, i feel so nervous.

– Do you think i am pretty?

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This is story from real life.

Sandra and Darren went to date and he took her out of the city. This was small coffee bar with so loud folk music that she did not hear what he is talking. They waited for a waiter for a half hour and they were not alone, because Darren met his best friend with girlfriend so they shared table with them. That girl provoked Sandra that Darren is indeed womanizer and that he will not be faithful to her. She said she was joking, but Sandra felt very unpleasant.

Second date never happened.

If you wish to avoid date from nightmare:

be alone with your partner

– don’t talk about ex 

– try to choose quiet place 

– focus on her or him

– don’t look at your cell phone every 10 minutes

– don’t stare in every good looking person around

You want to arrange second date, isn’t it? Think about things you said because first date can be the last if you do many mistakes.

Some people are flexible and they will forgive mistakes, but next time they will look at you with doubts. First impression doesn’t come twice and you can’t fix it. You might learn what you do wrong, so next partner will have more luck.