Why you must open your heart?

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Open your heart and you will know all answers. How many people are able to open their hearts? It is easy to extroverts.

Popular drama queen is again sad. Soon everybody will know that Sasha broke up with his boyfriend. She is listening loud music, crying at school and all her friends are invited to memorial party. Her parents are desperate. They have big internet bill because of her tragedy, she is 24 hours at computer and on cell phone. Yes, her  boyfriend Thomas left her.

Sasha is an extrovert. Her feelings are reality show. If she hates someone, that person will know this very well. When she loves, also everybody know. She is noisy, sometimes pathetic and dangerous for her environment. She has need to share her secrets even with total strangers. Once she met woman at bus station and exposed her relation with ex boyfriend Alex in all details. Woman just replied with yes or no and with rolling eyes. Balanced emotions are treasure. Why should everybody know what we passed in life? My neighbors had many conflicts. I could listen husband and wife on next door every morning. They exchanged so many filthy words. On the street, they were different couple. She was so sweet and kind to him, and he was careful with her. Someone would said, ideal couple.

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Extroverts and introverts are two extreme sides . Introvert is person who dig emotion in kind of grave. Nobody will know what they feel. I knew a guy who said :” I never loved someone, i have very little dose of feelings indeed.” That is not possible, he was just hurt and he built a wall that nobody can’t cross over it. You might have bulletproof mask, but it will not protect you forever. If you feel something for someone, say it or show it on decent way. Don’t push, force or cry. Just try , take your chance.

It is very important to read between lines. Some people are hurt, inexperienced and immature when it comes the time to show love. Guys will poke girls, they can say even filthy words to get their attention. They will say i hate you, even they think i love you. Some men don’t like the way how they lose control over themselves. When you admit that you are in love, other side has power. They afraid of rejection and laugh. Nobody died from denials and rejections, so why not take a risk? The worst kind of emotions are unexpressed . Imagine that you miss a chance, that you see happily married girl, and you did not say her that you love her? So she found another guy. Also, you can reject great man and change your mind, because you were not clean with your feelings.

Words i love you are the keys. You can have right or wrong keys, but it is worthy that you try to open the door. Start knocking and you will see what will happen.

Temptations – demons on your way

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You made decision and that is your final word. Can you stand behind your attitude when temptation knock at your door? That is harder part. Accord experience, many circumstances will try to rock your plan. You said, i will never do it again, but then something or someone stand on your way.

No matter is your decision about love or friendship, private area is always tough task. You decided not to talk with your best friend because she hurts you. She came and cry, she will give you promise not to do it again, she offers you flowers and chocolates, just to forgive her. Then, if your heart is soft, you will give her another chance. Guess what? Probably, she will screw you again. The question is, how much you will tolerate before you can officially call yourself a fool?

If you are weak on your naughty lover, things are more harder. He will take you into bed and situation is solved, if you look at things from his angle. This is not even near to solution. He kissed you but still he is jerk able to cheat you with every woman, without regrets. He will look at your friends, even sister, in intention to show himself as fatal Casanova. Yes, he will hurt you again.

Your final decision has the biggest enemy, and that is so called temptation. Now you are on diet, but what happens when someone offers you an ice cream? Also, you swear that you will not answer on messages from your ex boyfriend, but he wrote so romantic note that you must reply to him.

What is magic formula, how to hold on your decisions and make it real?

Always check all circumstances around you. If you see anything suspicious, stay silent and wait.

Don’t trust to people who already screwed you. They need double check.

Don’t feel regret or sadness if you hurt someone who hurt you before. This is paycheck.

Jump into this situation if you have to. You will get burn and next time you will not repeat this again.

Advises are not desirable thing. I know i don’t like to listen advises, especially if i did not asked for it. Also, it is easier to judge from comfortable situation. The best adviser is person who was in your skin before. If someone passed similar or same path, listen to this person. Word final is always drastic. I know what you think, how is sad not to talk with someone again, not to give him chance. Or, how is hard to resist to temptation. This is rat race in the circle. You give chance to someone, he screws, you cry and then again. How much does it need before you felt totally exhausted from that evil demons?

Sometimes, destiny will decide instead of you. For example, Adele was crazy for Thomas, and he played with her 3 years, but when he found Isabel, he never called Adele back. In fact, he avoided her everywhere. She could win in that game when it was time, but she let him to win. She did not use her cards and Thomas used it against her.

It is hard to resist to temptations, but it is more harder to carry burden of humiliation, after you realize that someone laugh to you, behind your back. So, when you have bullets, shot. Stick on your final decisions, no matter how much it hurts. Result is joy and space for something better.

Napoleon complex – when authority turns off

 

Life gives us opportunities as cards. When we spent our amounts of cards, we can create more chances to stay in the game. Second choice is to give up from everything and abuse our power in the places where we can do it.

If you travel by bus or tram, sooner or later you will see controller tickets. That is usually older man or woman. They can be frustrated and angry on the rest of the  world . They will grab this chance to throw out their rage on passengers.

Once drunk controller entered in the tram. There were bunch of people who saw him and runaway quick until door were opened. The rest who stayed there were his victims.

He was red in the face and his breath had smell as trash, but still he asked for a ticket woman who were sitting near him.

– I don’t have ticket. I was in rush so i did not buy.

– What kind of behavior is this? You are travelling without ticket. What is this?

Men was yelling and his face became more red. Woman refused to give him personal ID. He has no authority to watch on her personal documents, accord Law of order it can do only policeman.  All right, this is not good to travel without ticket, because tram is not free unless you have special benefits. But, what kind of authority is drunk man who is yelling around like lion in zoo garden? What example and role model is he?

Look at this background. Some people are lazy during school time. They don’t want to learn, to progress when they have time and opportunity. Later they will not have big choice for employment and they will work from time to time. Controller job is good to fill your time when you are retired. If you are decent person, you can make agreement with people who will not pay ticket and try to convince them what is good for them. If you have Napoleon complex like this drunk man, you will grab your power to be someone at least. All what you missed in your life now is in front of you, as big stage. You can be aggressive, violent, fearless, and some naive people will maybe afraid of you. So pity you don’t have a gun, like from western movies.

Napoleon jumps out in various areas. We can see secretary who wanted to be a lawyer but she could not pass even one exam. She will yell on new employers as she is their boss. Also we can see policeman on his duty who will give lessons to young girls who were walking on the street after midnight and talk loud. This is his opportunity to teach them what is right and accord rules. This policeman never got real crime case and he can’t progress as corporal or captain, but he will give lessons to young girls about behavior. Also if you late with paying bills, you will get alert and clerk will later ring on your doorbell. He will took your television to sell on public auction. This clerk is maybe the last pawn in his family, maybe his wife disrespect him or his children make a donkey from him, but if he come on your door, watch out. He got a power, and he can be very cruel. Now you will pay , not because you are not paying bills on time. You will pay because life was so cruel to him.

We can feel something personal in act of some people.

They want to punish you not because you broke law or you late with your duties. They see big chance for personal revenge and they don’t care because this is wrong way. They abuse their position to prove their strength. If you have bad luck, this Napoleon can be your boss. You can be the best person in this world, but still he doesn’t give a shit about you, because you are here to pay your karma lessons.

How much expensive are your mistakes?

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We are born clumsy. You try to walk and you will fall. Try to swim and you will swallow water. Your heart will skip beat from fear that you can get drown.
Nobody learnt everything about life immediately, in the first moment. Some people are learning fast, others are behind them. What is in common,  people are not robots and not perfect. This means, we will do plenty of mistakes on every fields.
I remember when i wanted to learn typing on keyboard with 10 fingers. This skill of typing i needed to make my job easier. I was in mess and very slow. Later it was very useful  so it saved my time.
Mistakes are part of your life. Who will  learn, work and participate in anything can’t avoid mistakes. What is bad is judgment and contempt.
Oh, you are retarded. You don’t know this? How you don’t know simple and basic things?”
Every skill starts with mistake. You will eat bitter meal when you are cooking for a first time. You will stand on foot of your partner when you try to dance. Also, if you are learning other language, you will do mistakes with grammar and spelling.
Some people are talented for particular fields. This talent is something born with them. Sergej Jesenjin was wonderful Russian poet. Isidora Duncan was dancer. Maria Callas was singer in opera. They had special gift and they used it.
Problem is when someone is pushed into fields where he doesn’t belong.
We can’t all be familiar and celebrities. Sound of bad voice or clumsy dancing will cause laugh and mocking. Such persons are inspiration for  stand up comedy from their attempts. We must know where we are standing and not to make shame from our attempts.

What is important, if we want to progress we must keep trying. If you never try, how will you know what is your limit? Also, if you give up after few mistakes, you are indeed weak. Cry because you got bad mark? Fall in depression because your boss yell on you? Someone spit on your work? Well, deal with this as with challenge. Show them that you can.

The basic of every success is – learn from your mistakes. Update your masterpiece with this mistakes. Mistakes are warning and lessons, if you can listen and hear their message you got the score.
People who never learnt from their mistakes are still in stand by and pending position. They are frozen because they gave up or did not know what to do next.

How wives deal with husband’s mistresses?

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You love him, but she also love him. Here is the crowd in this love circle, and one of you must get out. Love triangle with one man and two women is filled by pain and tears.
When you know that you share guy with other girl, you should gave up from him. Now , the main question is: “Why should i give up? Let other woman get out and leave him alone.”
This is ungrateful position. Wife and children on right side, mistress on left side. Wife can lose a lot. Stability, financial situation will be worse, children will suffer and divorce is not so good idea. This is not just matter of just one person, if wife has two children, we have three ruined lives, all because of fatal woman , sexy mistress of your husband.

Wise woman will play on this card of women solidarity. Many won this game with ace of solidarity in their pocket. Two women, same gender, we should understand each other.

When Lydia found out that her husband is cheating her with Ingrid, woman from his office, she called her to drink coffee together. Lydia was not furious or rude. She was lady as always, and she said:
Dear, you have no idea what are you doing with my husband. We are married 20 years. Our children are almost adult, and of course we get bored from time to time. This routine can ruin all passion. But, he is not rich man, and if we will divorce, i will took him all money. You will earn money for him. Also, he is boss of department, if his business partners will know for affair, he will fall on low position. Divorce is big trauma and it will affect on his job, and job is his first love. He will hate you. But, if you love him so much you will be poor and happy. Also, do you know he still have sex with me? Think about next time when he will touch you.
Ingrid had just opened mouth and she stayed without words. She expected that Lydia will spill coffee on her or slap her, but really nothing like that happened. Lydia was coldblooded and kind, but her words were cutting her heart as knife. Ingrid was blushing from shame. She started to feel compassion toward children and she could not imagine herself in situation which Lydia described.
As Lydia said:
I don’t know you dear, but if you will be lucky to find husband, one day some women can do this to you. The same you did to me. Think about how would you feel on my place. 
Lydia finally shown to her photos of her children and Ingrid started to cry. She did not feel good and she left from coffee bar.
After this meeting,  with time, Ingrid learnt about women solidarity. She left his lover without explanation, even she asked to be removed from his department.
Sometimes, we must teach men that they are wrong. If you think that your men will never desire another women, you live in illusion. You need to find a way how to stop him, but without force and begging. One of ways is woman solidarity.

You will see on social networks many funny situations.

Men will write that they are married or engaged. Then they will add hot and sexy friends, and their wife will follow them. If you added man who is already taken, and his wife is on Facebook , invite her too and show her that you have no interest for her husband. Yes, i know, nobody can steal guy from computer monitor, especially if guy lives in another country. Just, this is a matter of pride.

Your guy has status in relation, and he is flirting on other walls? Let we kill this bitches. No, very wrong. You can add hot guys too and this game will be never ending. Or you can appeal on women solidarity. Any smart woman will not involve in other relations. It can be only humiliation, imagine you flirt with other husband and he kick you out from his page when he will get what he wanted. His wife can have password too, so if you send hot message, she will read this.

We are women, fragile, sensitive, but very dangerous and jealous when we love. Don’t touch my man, and i will not touch yours too.

Are you busy queen bee?

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Every woman dream about to express yourself in private life and in business. Some of us are really successful because they have luck or they are organized and surrounded with people who can help with obligations.

Woman with 3 children and successful business career needs help of her family. Husband , her mother, mother in law are here to help her with daily burden. This happens if everything is alright inside of her family. Ordinary woman is not celebrity as Angelina Jolie and she can’t effort to pay babysitters and bunch of servants. She needs lot of ideas and creative mind how to handle with this busy life.



What happens when things go wrong? 

Angela had big plans. She wanted to have kids, rich husband and successful career as judge in District court. During years, her husband was too busy because he was doctor , a surgeon. Kids were sick and Angela did not have help of her mother in law because she lived far away from her. Soon at her workplace came new intern, to learn about job. Angela saw this opportunity to spend more time with kids and she took free days but also she connected this with so called sick benefit. Her husband gave her support that she can pretend sickness, just to be with her 3 kids. New intern got all business burden on her back. Bunch of files, appeals, hard cases and nervous clients were in front of her office. She did her best, but when Angela get back after one month, she started to complain on her mistakes. That client should not pay so small money penalty. That case of inheritance should not finish on that way. New girl almost got breakdown and she had big conflict with Angela, especially because she was employed to do voluntary work at court, for symbolic money.

 

Sometimes women are very selfish in their desires to take everything. 


The same as queen bee, they want to rule with private and business life, without thinking about others who can help too. When Angela said “but my kids had flu”, she was thinking about her family, but not about girl who worked for her. There is a line. It will be the moment in life when everything is crushing. Then, we can’t blame others. We must know balance between our wishes and desires.

Besides, when woman thinks she can do all by herself, others will not help her properly. Maybe husband will not take care of kids because his queen bee knows this the best. Maybe mother in law will not cook lunch because she feels it will not be good enough.

When woman have career and big family, she must slow down and accept help of others. Only on this way she will avoid to judge or blame others for her mistakes.

How we handle reality?

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Daily routine is silent killer. You are somewhere in the city, meeting with thousand undesirable people, their faces insult you with their existence.

Do you wish to see beggar who ask you money, drunk kid who is crawling with bottle of wine in his hand or poor old granny with vegetables in bags, asking desperately who will help her to carry her burden.

No, for sure you will wish young girl who will bring you cocktail with cheery or man with muscles who will do unforgettable massage. Or you wish to swim in the swimming pool where only you have access.

The biggest freedom is indeed financial freedom. When you don’t need tram to get on time because your driver will take you. When you don’t need to share your office with old boring hag, and wake up in 6 in the morning, to catch bus where driver will listen terrible folk music.  When your neighbors will not ring on your doors in the moment you just came from work. this world which you created is much better than reality, because here you follow your own rules.

 

Fantasy and reality are in eternal conflict. One world you will need to survive , and other you will need to stay normal and balanced. Dreams will feed you in critical moments.

Sometimes cruel reality breaks people. They leave in mental hospitality,  drink alcohol or even take drugs. Frustrations are sometimes too big and nerves can’t handle this.

I know woman who order daily pills for nerves just to handle reality. She is smoking and drinking and this cocktail of vices is her defense. 


If you feel that you are tired of life, listen loud music just to block sounds of screaming kids in your neighborhood.

Each of us has own twilight zone. We can walk into the edge of reality. We should be careful. Once when you step out from safe zone, everything is possible. Maybe you win at lottery game so you will be rich and creator of your dream life. Maybe your investment can bring you more money, so you are step closer from your realization.


Walking drunk, get high or complain about your unhappy life will not get you any result. You will crawl as snail, surrounded by misty curtain , created by your unfilled wishes.

Why is necessary to do changes in your life?

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How many times you heard words : “It is just a habit, quit this. ” When we stuck in kind of trouble caused by our addiction to someone or to something, we think there is no exit.

Bad friends, bad lovers, bad job? You are overweight, too shy or you can’t find friends?

Bad habit is part of every problem which should be changed. In the beginning is fear, in the middle is chaos but a the end is fascination. That is how i think when i changed some things in my life.

Bad friends were falling as domino, one by one, even just before some times i was thinking i can’t live without them. Ex boyfriends , some i could not imagine life without them, are past today. I can’t remember that story which included them.

How changes affect on us?

Feeling powerful. Finally, your life is in your hand.

Feeling stronger. Now, you are not a toy, you are person who will decide about you.

Feeling independent. Now, others will not take your life in your hands.

Feeling happy. You won over your fear and it makes you self confident and happy.

Feeling brave. At least, you develop guts.

If you stuck in the same movie with the same actors, the end will be familiar to you. You will live in the same day again and again. Even you will wonder that you are cursed, because same bad things are happening to you all the time.

Try something different. This is happiness in empty area. Now you step on into area where you did not know what is happening. You did not visit this area before. As beginner’s luck in cards or gamble, this change might bring positive result to you.  Now you are clean of poisons, judgments, you are filtered and illuminated.  This is the biggest motivation you could get.

 

Love advices with expiration date

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Every woman was once a little girl. Naive child can swallow everything, and elders are here to teach her life lessons. That is how Nancy had distorted vision about love, when she adopted knowledge by her grandmother. Her granny lived in harmonious marriage with grandfather and they stayed together for a forty years. Nancy dreamed about such husband, who will love and respect her forever.

Above all, Nancy got next lessons:

He will love you as you are. So, you don’t need makeup and fancy clothes.

Right guy is chosen for you by destiny. His name is written in the stars.

Everybody find somebody at the end. For everyone exist someone.

Be good and listen to your husband, so he will return you on the same way.

The right one will change himself just for you.

As teenager, Nancy fall in love in Simon. She went on first date in simply shirt, without makeup and with stain on her trousers. Simon laughed so much when he saw her, and they were dating because she made him smile. But when Nancy continued to wear her casual clothes even in front of his parents, he called her messy girl. She gave him sign, that she doesn’t care for herself, so he was not obligated to care for her too.

Next boyfriend was Raphael. Nancy met him in front of night club, when she was vomit after she drink too much beer. She believed that it was hint of destiny, because he puke in another corner. Their relation was trade of alcohol and competition in sickness. When Raphael went to emergency one Saturday, Nancy realized that it is not gift of fate, it was only punishment.

When she was thirty, she got married for Paul. She was good wife, and she accepted all what Paul asked from her. He was businessman and she was constantly cooking dinners for his friends, because he wanted to introduce her as kind of Stepford wife. Always in nice skirt, with tied hair and eternal smile on her face, Nancy was his personal servant. Paul left her because of his business partner Adele, they involved during business meetings.

Now Nancy is divorced and alone. Her grandmother died a long time ago, but Nancy realized that old wisdom doesn’t work in new age. She was constantly chasing a wind, and that wind blown her into unknown direction.

She made an important conclusion, that it is not necessary to stick with someone who doesn’t want to do things for her. Love is not one sided feeling, and for mutual relation both sides are participants. It is not true that everyone will have happy end , because world is full of single people who never found their partners, because of many different reasons.

Until you are in the game, there are still chances for you. It is not the same if you spent life between personal walls or if you collect some negative experiences. Some people will finish alone, but they will have story behind themselves to talk about, to remember that once they were happy.

Granny did not tell her that she must to jump in the water if she wants to learn swimming. If you constantly use swim belt, you will never swim alone. Also, love is not fair play, and if you play accord rules and blocks, it is not guaranteed for good result. When you feel that you stuck in blind alley, change your strategy and forget all what your grandmother teach you. You are responsible for yourself and nobody else will save you, so turn your brain when your heart start to beat faster. Love through granny’s glasses looks different now days, with some updates and changes.

What happens when emotions rule with you?

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Clean mind is half way to successful results. When you need to bring an important decision, your brain should be in chill out position, and your nerves should be calm. Unfortunately, mostly is not like that, so we have bunch of decisions which are made in state of anger, rage, wrath or even hate. Emotions are beautiful part of every human being, but just in a case when we control them or when we use them on right way. When you let your emotions to go wild, results will be unexpected and not as you wanted.

Feelings are as furious dogs. If you let them to rule over you, they will bite you. 

So let’s see here what happens when emotions go wild.

Love. When you fall in love in wrong person, you give him power to do with you what he wants. He can manipulate with you because you have no strenght to say no.

Sadness. If you are in deep grief, you will not see people and events around you. Life will pass and you will stay frozen.

Anger. You can beat someone in state of anger and later you will regret, but you could not stop your fists to work faster than brain.

Self pity. You think that you are the most pathetic creature at this world, so you will let others to spit on you too, because it will make you bigger victim.

Condolence. If you feel sorry every person who cry or beg in front of you, you will not have time for yourself.

Guilt. You are hard toward yourself, so you think you deserve all bad things which happens to you, because that is act of karma, in past life you hurt someone so you must pay your debts.

I was many time witness that people who can control their feelings are more successful. For example, Mabel is the main bitch in her neighborhood. She has husband, two adult daughters, successful work and lover. Nobody will not say nothing ugly about Mabel, because she is cold blooded woman with plan. She is travelling because of her work, daughters are already independent, husband is not always at home, and young Paul is lover, in fact plummer who has a lot work to do in their family house. When Alice, woman next door got divorce from husband, she had many visitors, mostly men. Everybody talked about Alice as whore. Nobody pull trigger on Mabel, she is respectable member of this society, because she is silent as real whore, she has poker smile and nobody knows what she is thinking. Alice is noisy, without secrets, she trusts too much and she created many scenes around. Some of her lovers were married..oops. Alice got black eye in fight with angry wife, because of her lover Steven. 

Human species is not fair group. Do you think people will love you if you are honest, fair and you play with open cards? You will be as rabbit in forest, and every hunter will shot you very easy.

Some people were born to play cold, others learnt with time, and some will never learn, but this is useful skill. 

Let’s see other part of story, how will emotions work for you, when you push them in right direction.

Love. Don’t turn around when you cut off some connections.

Sadness. Wipe your tears and open eyes. Someone will give you hand.

Anger. Take a deep breath before you decide to do some actions. 

Self pity. Forget this, you are not perfect, but neither others are masterpiece. You don’t want to be clown, isn’t it?

Condolence. No, you can’t help this beggar who is asking coins every day, you have smarter things to do.

Guilt. You hurt someone? Everyone hurts someone, intentionally or by accident. It happens, shut down this memory.

When you make decision, you can use this pattern. Remember that you don’t have obligations to play fair, you just want your piece of cake in this circus called life.