business · career · character · drama · dreams · ego · egoism · relations

How to recognize envious person?

 

Happiness is visible on your face. Finally, you got what you wished. New flat, new job, new boyfriend. Maybe just one of this, but enough to make your eyes shining. You can’t hide your smile. So, you wish to share your happiness with friends, because that feeling is most precious when you can notify others about it. What is reason of your smile? Now, everyone will know.

This feeling when you get lucky is like alcohol. You did not drink but still you are dizzy and mixed. In this situation, you can be little naive. Do you think everyone will be happy because of you? Happiness is background for envy. There is saying “green from envy. ” This feeling is now in opposition, your happiness faced with envy of somebody else. Why you and why not he?

When Zoey got new job after one year of waiting, it was reason for celebration. After first salary she invited her best friend Monica in coffee bar. She expected that Monica will be happy, because they knew each other very long and Monica often paid drinks to Zoey, that she felt unpleasant. Now, finally Zoey can pay bill .

Zoey said to Monica that her new job is in another city, that she is travelling and come home in early evening but it is not important because she waited this opportunity very long time.

You will not handle this my dear. You will be tired and what is with your private life? What will be when you will have children?

This reaction was totally unexpected because Zoey thought that Monica will be happy for her. After all, she could not choose and she needed money, not other’s mercy or judgement. 

Next time Zoey and Monica discussed about other topic.

Dear, i was in Italy with my fiance. We had great time in fun park Gardaland. It was really adventure.

– Aren’t you old for this? Don’t you afraid of some kind of accident? I read about deaths in roller coaster. I would not go there on your place.

Monica was in the role of Grinch. As Grinch stole Christmas to children, Monica was stealing joy to her best friend. She was envious and Zoey did not feel good in her company. She could not be happy for her. An opposite, she wanted to spoil her happiness with judgement, preaching and teaching. Monica was single and her frustrations were visible on every corner. She was even more angry when Zoey find job. When Zoey was unemployed, Monica had power. Now she lost this power and she was furious.

How to recognize signs of other’s envy?

Envious person try to make your success less worthy. Oh yes you have expensive car, but it will spend much money on gasoline. Yes you got promotion, but you will work even more than now.

Envious person will provoke you. So, you are dating with Jeannie? I have heard she is easy girl.

If you are smiling and celebrating, they will say that you need to be more silent. Oh, dear not so big deal that you got this job. Everyone is employed, you don’t need to make party from this.

Envious person will warn on negative sides of your success. Well, now you are familiar person, and you will not have your privacy anymore. Stalkers and pests will be your followers. Do you know that handsome guy is playboy? Good luck with such boyfriend.

So, when we suppose that others will be happy because of us, results are not always in harmony with our expectations. On other hand, we will recognize true friends in this situations. Real friend will give you hand and shake it firmly. Friend will drink with you whole night if you wish. Also, real friend will find inspiration in your success.

Once my friend said to me : “You did it and congratulation. You gave me hope that i can do it too.”

relations · business · dreams · career · ego · character · discrimination · drama

Did you use too much tact?

 

Person who is afraid of other reactions and opinions is not free. There is saying “he walks on eggs”, as metaphor for his behavior. Be careful what you say. What will people think about you? Don’t yell, don’t laugh loud, don’t cry in publicity. Pay attention how you act because people can judge you.

It is normal that we are connected with environment where we live, and society made some rules. No, you can’t walk naked on the street unless you don’t want to be in prison or in mental hospital. You can’t hit people with bottles because you don’t like them. That is violent act.

Insecure person will always take care of other opinions. Wear gloves in interactions with others because that is safe. Well, it is not right and also it is impossible to please everybody.

For example, your parents are traditional people . They believe in God. What if you find girlfriend who is an atheist? How you can represent her to your family? If you are coward or conformist you will think first about yourself. Well, it doesn’t fit in so you will leave her or suggest that she can be your mistress. So this is easier way, you will hide your passion and everybody are happy. Wolf is not hungry, sheep is still alive, both sides made agreement.

If you have character and your principles, you will say clear that you love your girlfriend and that you think serious about life with her, no matter if your parents are against. You can be isolated and in some cases maybe your parents will not talk with you, but you decided to defend your choice.

Even compromise in such situation looks like an ideal solution, this is not right. If you hide your girlfriend from publicity, she will be unhappy, she will be humiliated and soon her bad mood will forward on you. You can’t hide someone as rat in rat hole. That girl can feel as Ana Karenjina , as woman without honor.

In generally, we can’t say that we don’t care for anybody and that only our opinion is important.

We care for people who are close to us and their support is valuable for us. Just, think about bad influence on your life if you choose to please everybody. You will have thousand friends and everybody will ask favor from you because you will not deny. Then also you must have chameleon abilities, to change accord other wishes. One day you will be tough guy, other day you are romantic and soft, depends what people are asking from you.

That gloves you wear became too tight, isn’t it? You are choking because you have no space for your needs.

What you wish? What are your priorities? 

Listen what other people talk, but do accord your wishes and principles. Find this balance in situations which are important for you, because you are the one who will live with consequences of your acts.

behavior · character · drama · ego · flirt · freedom · gossip · illusion · relations

How to insult woman without saying a word?

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Man X is standing in front of his woman Y, while she is crying . She covered her face with palms and ask for tissue. He asked her : “Why are you crying, i did not do anything to you. ” She said: “That is problem, you did not do anything!”

Is that scene familiar to you? When men complain about moody woman’s nature, they will often say : “I don’t understand women, seems i did something wrong but i don’t know what is this. “

Do you have a feeling that your woman is sad after some time? Do you have feeling that she is asking for a fight, even you did not insult her by your words?

It is possible to hurt your woman, by not saying any word to her.

Man’s logic is concrete, 2 plus 2 are 4.  Men don’t talk behind lines, men are not enigmatic. If man likes you, you will know it, because he will not insult you and represent this as compliment. Problem is, some men are without tact or they think their behavior is normal because they are dominant gender.

Well, woman’s logic is more abstract. We will smile to hide tears. We will cry to manipulate with men, and pretend kindness if we want to get something. That is not nice, but is not new that some women forgave man’s adultery and then made revenge to him. We are sensitive, we act by intuition, and even man is nice toward us, we will discover his mask by his actions.

So, we women will be insulted by some man’s acts, which are far away from tact.

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Here are 7 situations when you will insult woman, without saying a word:

Staring at other woman.

(You see how your guy is turning head when sexy blonde is passing by you on the street.)

Ignore your requests.

(You said him not to bite his nails in publicity, not to dig nose, not to yell in front of people. He repeated this again and again. )

He forgot your birthday, anniversary, or any important date.

He went to another woman at coffee bar, without saying a word of this to you.

He did not keep your back. Someone insulted you and he did not say a word.

He did not introduce you to his family and friends, even you were dating few months.

He did not give you compliment when you have new dress, hairstyle, new shoes. 

So let me back to the scene at beginning. Even if half of you thought that woman Y is crazy, now you will wonder what X did to her with her passive behavior?

Even man could be normal at first sight, even many women can say that he is gentle, kind and decent, after knowing him better you will not agree with them. Something miss him, something what he forgot to do. He insulted his beloved woman simply with his deeds.

 

couples · ego · jealousy · lovers · psychology · relations · romance · seduction

How to declare love without getting ashamed?

 

When pain comes out, that is easier part. You cry, scream or break plates and glasses, but this poison is far away from you and you are pure. Now this purity shines through your heart because you found a way how to throw your negative emotions. The same is with expression of love. If you said to someone i love you, no matter about answer, your conscience is clear.

What happens when you love someone who is forbidden to you? Grass is greener in other garden or your neighbor’s fruit is sweeter, so you will shut your mouth and deny your feelings, even to yourself. The same, if you think that your chances are small for any reason or if you want to date with your ex again, there is a chance to be ashamed later.

Is there a way to declare what you feel and not to get embarrassed? 

That is a cross of every man, how to tell women what they feel and not to hurt their pride. Some ways are sophisticated and their meaning is double. It helps you to save your dignity and to get positive result. If nothing else, you will get impression as cool dude.

Say it without words. Send her a photo at mobile phone. She will ask for a meaning and for a sender.

Send her romantic, mysterious message, without name. She will see number and maybe she will call you.

Help her with exam or with work project. If you shake her hand, and she hold your hand longer than it needs, she likes you.

Save her from pests and  stalkers. Girl will be grateful if you help her to get rid of annoying guy.

Borrow something from her, as an excuse. It can be CD, movie or a book. You will have reason to call her again.

Women nature is complicated. We will appreciate more if you approach to us easy, from background, because it makes guy mysterious, more interesting and harder to get. Guy who open his heart so easy is boring and women will not trust him.

For example, the same guy said to four girls that they are beautiful. Every weekend to another. They were friends, and they talked about him. His name was Roger.

  “Roger said that i am sexy. ” “Oh really, he said to me that i look so beautiful. ” “Yes, and he invited me on date, because he could not take eyes from me..at least he said this. “

As much guys have bad opinion about woman who change her sex partners, we women will think the same about man who gave a lot of compliments. Guy who sent mails on internet as chains, to all women. That guy who tag all women with word i love you. Or guy who will invite all his colleagues from work at office party, to make compliments for any of them.

Every woman wants to feel special, but also there is no woman who wish to feel as number. If you think about her all the time, let she knows. Maybe she will say no or maybe she will laugh. Maybe she will accept your love. Or maybe she will suggest you friendship.

The worst solution is to stay quiet or to date with woman who is your second choice. You will make double damage : to hurt her and to make yourself unsatisfied and frustrated.

In old times knights were fighting for honor of ladies and they even died in duel if someone offended woman of their heart. Today is no need for sacrifice, but you can use your imagination.  And remember: guy who is first, win the lady.

couples · crises · drama · dreams · ego · erotica · freedom · happiness · relations

What happens when love is not mutual?

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The basic point of every fairy tale is magic stick . If you are beautiful fairy who holds this , you can turn frog into prince, poor guy into rich guy and bad guy into good guy. That dream sounds as realization of your hopes, and some women still make fantasies to change their boyfriends or husbands. “If he could change toward my wishes, i would have easier job.” In reality, it doesn’t works , because you can’t change guy without losing his personality. Maybe he listened you and did some changes accord your wishes, but he is not the same guy you met. Now you have business with kind of zombie, lobotomized man who is not the one you loved.
Every man is made of kind of buttons. If you press his positive buttons, you will be in harmony with him. If you press negative buttons all the time, your relation is more tragedy than romance. On this way we can explain why the same man is so good accord some women, and why other women can’t stand him. Understanding and accepting is key of love, so if you love wild guys, you will accept that he needs time to be alone with  himself, even to runaway for a short to find himself again. If you use leash to slow him down, you will lose him.
Two biggest nightmares of every woman are:
1. guy i love will not give me love back
2. guy i don’t like will follow me everywhere and i will not get rid of him
If you mix this two stories in the same time, it will be black comedy. On one side, you fall for guy who never noticed you, and on the other hand, guy you don’t wish to see is always on your back. If you think that you can change situation, to force guy to fall for you, or to chill out guy not to fall for you, that is wrong way. This is trap and the best way for you is to escape from confusing situation.
Relax, it is not all black.
You will see how Brenda learnt from this two situations.
 
Brenda wanted Kevin. In this situation, Kevin was indeed on half way. He wanted Brenda, but sometimes. Brenda wanted serious relation and commitment, and she was very persistent . She called him on phone, she sent thousand messages and e-mails, she did everything to sabotage his relations with other women. At the end, Kevin runaway from this situation. He felt as prisoner, without space to decide.
Cole wanted Brenda. Now Brenda felt on her skin what happens when stalker loves you. Cole was her colleague and she was working in the same office with him. She could not talk with others without his presence, he poke nose in her work, and every lunch pause he was on her back. For the first time, Brenda saw herself in the mirror. She understood better how Kevin felt. But it was too late.
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When love is not mutual, you are in relation with zombie.
No matter are you the one who doesn’t love, or your beloved doesn’t love you, this connection is forced bond.
Try to make love with someone without feelings, you will hate yourself next morning.
Try to say i love you without spark in your heart, you will dislike yourself .
Imagine yourself in tunnel. You are walking slowly, and on the other side is your love. If you love him, and if he loves you, this meeting will be hilarious. Your heart will beat, you will lose breath, your cheeks will blush. Even you will talk as stammerer. That is love, silly and logical in the same moment.
Well, if you don’t love your boyfriend, or if your boyfriend doesn’t feel the same, you will make this relation as summary of formalities.
Fake smile, kind words, hug without heart beats. Sad situation, but some couples are that kind of zombies. They are together for wrong reasons, because they think to change situation at better point.
Artificial flowers can’t smell and grow. The same is with relation without sparks. If chemistry doesn’t exist, it will not appear from somewhere. In this case, your relation is only piece of paper.
communication · cyber space · drama · dreams · ego · envy · erotica · illusion · internet · jealousy · relations

Why women should not propose their partners?

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Not everyone is thrilled by idea of marriage. Men especially want to prolong this time, until they can. One woman since death till us apart, that sounds terrified for many men. Especially when proposal did not come from him, man will think that he lives in nightmare.
Long relations are danger zone. After 5, 10 or even 15 years, woman will ask where is she standing. Or, where this relation goes? In kind of despair, woman will get an idea to propose his man, because he did not do this. I would say, don’t do this , ladies.
Here are 5 reasons why you should not propose your man.
He will feel as half a man.
You do his tasks? You took things in your hands? Well, be sure he will not be fascinated if you buy ring and ask him : “Yes or no?”
You will lost part of your dignity.
Every woman should know when to step back. This is in that case. Instead of force your man, back off.
He might say yes, but later this will be main reason for your conflict.
“This was your idea, not mine, remember?”
His friends, mother and his ex girlfriend could laugh to you.
This kind of things always swims out. Who proposed whom? If that was you, it will be subject of jokes.
You will lose this magic moment to make him in uncertainty.
So you will not see him what he really could do if he is afraid of losing you.
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Women have vision about guy with ring who will crawl to propose them. It will not be always like this. Cool proposal, without much noise, is good way for every man who doesn’t want to sound as cuckold. Ask her is she ready to spend life with you, kiss her and wait for reply.
I understand women who were many years alone or in frustrated relations, until their friends got married. Always maid of honor, never bride. Well, you can make influence on this, but you need to know the way.
If you decided to make him rush with proposal, do it on next way.
 
 
Make it as joke.
Tell him, you look gorgeous in white dress and his mother adores you anyway. If he is silent, don’t force this conversation. He will understand the point.
Don’t go directly. Make it as indirect way to proposal.
Tell him that you got many compliments from colleague, but that you said him about your serious relation, which leads to commitment.
Make a sentence : “once when i will be married for a guy”, and wait his reaction.
Men are not blind. They understand hints and symbolic way. They pretend that they are dumb, but be sure your man knows what he should do. If he doesn’t do this, he has a reason, because he is not sure.
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What is the worst thing you can do?
This is proposal on internet. You can make yourself ashamed, because this is something what others see. It will not be erased so easy. Especially, if your man is someone you did not meet for real.
Leslie did this with Douglas. They met online, on chat. They had virtual relation for a few months, and she felt this is it. Leslie was single so many years, she had some failed relations before, and she was lady in certain ages, over 30. So, what can happen worse? She proposed him on his page. She thought, it will be cool and she will make an impression as independent woman. Ooops. Douglas said short yes, but after this, he did not talked with her. He became silent as someone who got punishment. He was little boy in the corner, terrified from his older teacher. Of course, he was younger than Leslie.
Remember, what is so cool for us women, is not the same for men. You might think you look as Cat woman, Lara Croft  or some other  action heroine who took things in her hands. In his eyes, you look as kidnapper. Someone who stole his power to decide. You deserve to go away from him.
character · crises · drama · ego · friendship · gossip · illusion · psychology · relations

Why some men fall under influence of their friends?

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Mature person has strong attitude and ability to make own decision. Adult man will pick woman accord his taste and wishes, and he will not be influenced by friends or family. Unfortunately, some men stay childish and immature during whole life, and their decisions are products of other influences.
We can recognize them since childhood. Small kid is afraid of stronger boys, so he will act smarmy toward street leaders. He needs protection from big guy who will be his brother. In his company he feels pleasant and safe. Don’t bite hands which is feeding you is his favorite quote, so he will do everything for return. This association is product of weakness, Small guy could not be popular between girls without help of this Big guy.
That happened with Nathan. He was average boy with average face, slim and short, so guys teasing him from childhood. He was not midget, but in company of guys who were copies of Van Damme, he felt like unprotected girl. So when his neighbor Harlan start to date with Lena, the most sexy girl in his neighborhood, Nathan could not fight for her. She was his secret love, but he never confessed his feelings to her, instead this he made friendship with Harlan. He was leader and Nathan was slave, guy who will buy cigarettes and lend money, depends of occasion. When Nathan met Laura, things changed, because Laura was stubborn girl and she made decision by herself. She rejected few tough guys from the street, she wanted to be with Nathan. But, as couple, they disagreed about lot of things. Nathan was weak, toy boy, and Laura did not like it. He called her devil lady, because she was hasty and fearless and often in conflicts with others. After few months Nathan broke this relation, she made mess in his peaceful life and he decide to leave her.
When Nathan saw Laura in conversation with Harlan, after one year of their breakup, he start to feel jealousy. Everybody in this company liked Laura, she had sharp tongue and they considered her as very exciting girl. They did not met her before because Nathan was always hiding her, from fear that she will make drama. Now, he saw that he was wrong and coward. Later Harlan told him that he is idiot to let go such interesting girl. Nathan wanted to talk with her in private. He asked for another chance.
Laura said to him:
So meanwhile you got guts? Or your big friend said to you how to respect me? This is very sad my dear. 
 
– Please i don’t like fights. I like normal women, normal talk.
 
– Really? Then go to find normal woman, what are you waiting for?

Nathan realized that he lost his chance forever. Laura wanted just understanding but he was too big coward and too addicted of other opinions. His small life was garden with flowers and it was no place for tiger there. He did not know that Laura also need love , but she could not change her hot temper because of him. She loved him and he hurt her by his ignorance, but he could not realize that, because he was too busy with his fears. What will other’s say and how he will risk with that girl, one day someone could smack him because of her.

Old Latin proverb said: similar similis gaudet.

Similar people with similar attitudes and interests will find each other on every level. When two persons are very different it is hard to find common language. Passion in the beginning, but conflicts at the end will make this relation impossible to survive. Someone will give up and this is end. The biggest obstacle is disability of own thinking. If you need that others confirm your choice , you are pathetic. At the end you will share life with that person, not your friends, relatives or family.

Weak person will always need own guardian angel. That kind of person is insecure in own existence and he needs protection of someone with bigger power. Sometimes, that angel will lead him in unknown direction, and he will fall into identity crises.
discrimination · drama · dreams · ego · erotica · fantasy · flirt · freedom · relations

Are you in relation with brat?

 

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Responsibility is follower of maturity. If you are responsible, you know everything about obligations and how to deal with this. Your immaturity will hurt people even without your intentions, because they expected something from you.
Love doesn’t know for numbers and years, but heart feels immature actions. This clumsy guy left mark in your heart, because he doesn’t know how to deal with responsibility, he was immature. Problem is, women are often more mature then men. That is why older woman will have problems in relation with younger men, they are on different levels. So when women complaint that their heart is bleeding, often man is not bad, he is immature. There is a quote, if you lay in bed with kiddo, he will pee in your sheets.
So that is why we can say that immature actions are childish, without responsibility, even without thinking about consequences.
Which are signs that you are in relation with brat?
He did not came on date, even you had deal.
 
He got late on date, more than 15 minutes.
 
He talk about his previous sexual experiences, you know every dirty detail about him and his ex.
 
He is with you, but every time he is watching other women, and even comment without shame how sexy they are.
 
He talks about sex with you in front of his friends.
 
His friends don’t like you, so he wants to hide you to avoid fights with them.
 
He doesn’t want to introduce you with your parents.
 
He said he is not ready for serious relation.
 
He said that you are fat or old, without thinking that will hurt you.
 
He said that skirt doesn’t fit you or that you are dressed like whore.
 
He is yelling on you in publicity, he said to you to shut up in front of people or he doesn’t allow you to express your opinion about some topics.
 
He expects that you will pay his drinks, he forgot your birthday and never bought you gifts.
 
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Some things will come later. Boy will learn about behavior through many relations with other girls. First girlfriend will be as experimental rabbit, and possible errors will affect on her. Melisa and Raul were dating in high school. They were hitchhiking together because he was not driver, and he had no car. Nothing was hard for Melissa, he loved him, even he was 2 years older. Later, when they broke up, Raul was 21 and Melisa 23. He started to drive car and his new girlfriend Elsa was with him in the moment when Melisa was on bus station, waited for a bus. They saw her and they passed by the road with laugh. Elsa was so nasty that she shown her middle finger to Melissa. Melissa was hurt but indeed it was childish act.

When you are in relation with immature person, you are passing period of adjustment. 

It’s up to you will you wait him until he grows up or you will leave. He simply doesn’t know that something can hurt you, no matter is this lack of attention, inability to listen your problems or something bigger. Woman must be patient in such relation and also very flexible. After breakup, women will say that they don’t want to be nannies anymore or that they were wearing trousers in this relation. Older woman and younger man are in relation mother-son, if age difference is too big. She is working already, and he is still student . She wants kids, and he wish to go to parties with friends. That are huge differences. This is situation when you are dancing, and he stands on your feet, because he is clumsy.

If such couple is enough strong and patient, and if they really love each other, they must work on relation, they will have mutual progress together. This relation will develop with years or they will split. In any way, relation without responsibility is as artificial flower. It looks like flower, but smell is not here.
beauty · behavior · clubbing · control · cyber · drama · ego · fashion · relations

Guys without shirts

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I was always impressed with men who try to gain attention in clubs by their way of clothing or dancing. That was not impression in good meaning, it was more something what gave smirk on my face.  Guy who tries to show break dance, which was popular during eighties. Guy who wears shirt with titles ” I am not gynecologist but i can check every vagina. “ Guy who wears trousers with so many holes that you can see his pants through this.

What impressed me the most were guys who love to go in night clubs without shirts, to show their torso in hope that they will get lucky. This summer i was with my husband in night club with dress code, where is not allowed to enter without shirt despite of summer temperatures. They like to keep their rating, so many security guards around watched visitors to make their rules safe.

In the middle of the party i saw guards around guy who undressed himself . He shown his torso with muscles (not bad view) and jump on the wall, that everyone can see him. Guards surrounded him and ordered to get dress. He rejected this and negotiations started. When he saw that he will be kicked out, he took his shirt ( he had elegant white shirt), but he was so drunk that he could not deal with buttons. It was very funny scene, guy was buttoning his shirt (probably he saw double or triple amounts of buttons) and his hands were shaking from nervous breakdown. All the time security guard was standing near him, to be sure that he will finish his work. Finally, guy was dressed and he could back to the party.

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I wonder here, what is the point of guys who like striptease in clubs?

They hope to get laid.

Sure, all women will jump on guy without shirt. We can’t wait.

They hope that someone will notice them so they will become famous.

Instagram is not enough, maybe someone can see you and you will earn as model. Yeah, sure.

They try to show how they jump out from crowd.

Hard work in gyms, it has to be exposed. Let everyone see my muscles, i was working hard.

What can happen is far from fairy tale.

Women will think that you are jerk who only wish sex. Really, which girl want to drink with half naked guy ? His intentions are visible from space.

Guards can throw you out. Mostly, clubs which are not purposed as places for half naked people will care for their rating. Also, guards see problems there, who can took out shirt will be ready for fight too.

You can be injured. Someone hits you in naked back , burn cigarette on naked skin, it will not be funny. 

Another part of this story are guys which bodies are not so perfect. There is nothing worse for us woman to see old drunker with fat hanging belly without shirt. Red in face and walking with hairy chests around, that is not how woman imagine prince charming. Before all, women run from such men.

No, i am not traditional, just as person who visits parties many years, i think every place has purpose. Parties on the beach in afternoon are full of half naked women and men, and this is normal. Foam party, after party on the beach, that are places for men who like to show their musculature. You will see woman is swimsuit there and she will drink cocktail with you without shame.

Closed night clubs are another story. Guys will say : “What the fuck, nobody will order to me. I will come in pants or naked if i wish. “ Wrong one, cause always is there someone who can get you embarrassed or even worse. In such story, amateur striptease is not welcome.

How this story ends? Guy without shirt is kicked out , collecting his teeth one by one, without women he wanted to seduce and with some scratches if he got lucky. If not, he will visit emergency. In the case he tries to get back again, he will play role of pancake, guards will make punching bag from him, as in cartoon.

Real man doesn’t need this show. He will undress himself in private place, for the woman who wants him. Not every woman needs to see his muscles, chests, tattoo, just to fall down on her knees. The  moment when such guys speak loud, you will see with whom you are hanging out.

anxiety · behavior · couples · drama · ego · egoism · flirt · happiness · relations

Why people stay in bad relations?

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When relation has broke, we ask for causers. It did not happen yesterday that something was wrong. It had happened before few years, few months or we just ignored signs. Or, did you realize that you were the only one who kept this relation alive?

 

When i hear or read some articles about women who complained that their guy treat them bad, i always wonder why did they stay in such relation. What was the reason? Love, money, fear or just a habit? Then, second question would be, why guy did not break this, when he did not love as he should love his partner?

Some phenomenon i wish to talk about are forced breakups. No, this is not breakup with gun , nobody is physically injured. This is situation where guy is passive, ignorant, but he is still there and he waits for a moment when woman will say – enough.

In this story Lidia fall in love in Patrick. They were cute couple, as she was stronger part in this relation, and he was more mama’s boy. Despite of all, they had good time together. When Lidia said that she wants breakup, all her friends were surprised. Lidia explained that Patrick never planned weekends. Patrick never bought her gift , even for her birthday, he said her to choose something in market, and he was paying bill. Lidia suggested when will they make love at first time, also her idea was that they need to live together. Patrick would say “i don’t know” and it was story of their life. One day Lidia had flu and Patrick visited his mother. Her temperature was very high so she called Patrick to drive her at emergency. Patrick said that he can’t do it this moment, cause he helps his mother with new furniture. Lidia called neighbor to help her. When she recovered, she said Patrick to pack his things and move out from her flat.

This what some women do, stay in relation where is no actions, no plans and no future.

Why guys stay in relation when they indeed don’t care for a woman?

They have safe sex with one partner.

They have safe shelter, kind of home.

They have friend and partner in the same box.

They have someone to cuddle their ego.

Now, question is, who should run first? Woman who is damaged, or man who is passive? I think many woman wait for a final event, something what would shock her. This shock effect, as betrayal, affair, disloyalty is just a milestone. So, now is enough. Now i got you. Now, we are at the end of this road.

I understand, to break with someone who doesn’t give a shit about you must be hard if you love this person. You are going against your heart. He is also not in good position, because he knows he will hurt you. Well, he hurts you all the time, so breakup is a crown. Isn’t it better to jump from the window, than to roll over the steps, as the last hero of masochism?