relations · business · dreams · career · ego · egoism · character · drama

How to recognize envious person?

 

Happiness is visible on your face. Finally, you got what you wished. New flat, new job, new boyfriend. Maybe just one of this, but enough to make your eyes shining. You can’t hide your smile. So, you wish to share your happiness with friends, because that feeling is most precious when you can notify others about it. What is reason of your smile? Now, everyone will know.

This feeling when you get lucky is like alcohol. You did not drink but still you are dizzy and mixed. In this situation, you can be little naive. Do you think everyone will be happy because of you? Happiness is background for envy. There is saying “green from envy. ” This feeling is now in opposition, your happiness faced with envy of somebody else. Why you and why not he?

When Zoey got new job after one year of waiting, it was reason for celebration. After first salary she invited her best friend Monica in coffee bar. She expected that Monica will be happy, because they knew each other very long and Monica often paid drinks to Zoey, that she felt unpleasant. Now, finally Zoey can pay bill .

Zoey said to Monica that her new job is in another city, that she is travelling and come home in early evening but it is not important because she waited this opportunity very long time.

You will not handle this my dear. You will be tired and what is with your private life? What will be when you will have children?

This reaction was totally unexpected because Zoey thought that Monica will be happy for her. After all, she could not choose and she needed money, not other’s mercy or judgement. 

Next time Zoey and Monica discussed about other topic.

Dear, i was in Italy with my fiance. We had great time in fun park Gardaland. It was really adventure.

– Aren’t you old for this? Don’t you afraid of some kind of accident? I read about deaths in roller coaster. I would not go there on your place.

Monica was in the role of Grinch. As Grinch stole Christmas to children, Monica was stealing joy to her best friend. She was envious and Zoey did not feel good in her company. She could not be happy for her. An opposite, she wanted to spoil her happiness with judgement, preaching and teaching. Monica was single and her frustrations were visible on every corner. She was even more angry when Zoey find job. When Zoey was unemployed, Monica had power. Now she lost this power and she was furious.

How to recognize signs of other’s envy?

Envious person try to make your success less worthy. Oh yes you have expensive car, but it will spend much money on gasoline. Yes you got promotion, but you will work even more than now.

Envious person will provoke you. So, you are dating with Jeannie? I have heard she is easy girl.

If you are smiling and celebrating, they will say that you need to be more silent. Oh, dear not so big deal that you got this job. Everyone is employed, you don’t need to make party from this.

Envious person will warn on negative sides of your success. Well, now you are familiar person, and you will not have your privacy anymore. Stalkers and pests will be your followers. Do you know that handsome guy is playboy? Good luck with such boyfriend.

So, when we suppose that others will be happy because of us, results are not always in harmony with our expectations. On other hand, we will recognize true friends in this situations. Real friend will give you hand and shake it firmly. Friend will drink with you whole night if you wish. Also, real friend will find inspiration in your success.

Once my friend said to me : “You did it and congratulation. You gave me hope that i can do it too.”

behavior · character · control · crime · cyber space · egoism · envy · erotica · relations

Don’t steal what is not yours

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Modesty is one of values. It is connected with respect of others, that we should not touch something what is not ours. Don’t steal, don’t desire other’s partners, don’t be greedy. You are satisfied with your life, your car and even if you are not, don’t blame others.

Some people will say – never enough. They will run over corpses, they will push you during their race, all until the day when they will regret it. It is alright to be ambitious and to desire more. Now, here is the question, how to make harmony between modesty and your wishes to get more?

Let’s take a look about story of Sybil. She is married woman, with one pretty daughter and devoted husband. She has 42 years. She got bored in marriage so she made profile at Facebook and find virtual lover. They made fake profile together and everybody in virtual life know about them as couples. After some time she got bored with this virtual sweetness, cyber sex and attention so she started to look at other social networks for new young guys to please her wishes. She doesn’t care if that guy has a girl, if she could hurt feelings of some girl with posting her erotic photos on their pages. One day someone hacked her page, and she became hurt, after long time. She thought that nobody can stop her. But someone did, and even worse, she was reported for posting pornography and admins of social networks deleted her page. It was not the end, her daughter find erotic video from her mum with masturbating and she had conversation with shrink. All family went into crises. They could not understand what kind of monster Sybil was. She had everything, but she wanted jealousy of other people, fight, envy, publicity. She paid for this.

When you enter into other’s space, this is like in football. You try to get your score, but someone can throw you and hit you very hard. Life is rough game. If you think that you can humiliate others, don’t expect that you will not get paycheck. Don’t justify your acts with ambitious wishes.

World is big place.

Is it necessary to ruin other’s happiness because you want more?

You don’t have to steal other job or position at work to be happy. 

You don’t have to seduce other’s husbands to please your wishes. 

If you grab into other’s property, you can stay without hand and lose everything. 

How would you feel that someone kiss your husband or to gossip you in front of your boss, just to sit on your chair at work?

I don’t want what is not mine, but also i protect what is mine. Once when someone starts unfair game, there are no rules. All is allowed in the name of justice, and that kind of intruders will get what they deserve.

character · crises · depression · egoism · elders · energy · envy · family · relations

How strong is connection with your family?

 

I suppose that everyone of you got sweet promise about something what will last for lifetime. Eternal friendship, sisterhood or love, words said in the moment of enchanting feelings, secret pledge about forever. We all feel that when someone makes our life so beautiful. You made love with this woman and you will say that she will be yours forever. Your friend impressed you by his loyalty and you feel as you owe him. If you have rational mind, you will put reserve into your words. Instead of “I will love you forever”, rational words should be ” I will try to make you happy, as long as i could.”

Our paths are different. One mother gave birth to daughters, two sisters. She could not gave them guarantee that life will make them happy. Sometimes, one girl will have easier path than other girl. This is a test, how much this circumstances will have influence on their future connection.

Sarah and Tilda were grown up together. They borrowed each other clothes, they went to night club as teenagers, and they were even sleeping in the same bed as kids. It was four year differences between them. One event changed them both and labelled their relation. Sarah got married in 23. She met this guy, got pregnant and he propose her. It was love on first sight, and marriage was suddenly, as thunder. During that marriage Sarah got more children, one more boy and girl. Tilda stayed unmarried, until 41, she share flat with her boyfriend, who did not propose her yet. Nothing strange on first sight, but Sarah lost her feeling for sister. Her family became center of everything. Her husband and three kids occupied all free time, and Sarah was cold even toward her parents. During years, parents and Tilda were in the role of bank. When Sarah needed money, she called them for financial help. They felt unpleasant because Sarah was often moody, and she did not offer them drink or food when they visited her. They complaint, but Sarah did not understand what is wrong. Her reply was : “I did not sleep, i have a family, they made me crazy. I can’t breath from them.”

As we grow up, our priorities are changing. We will have less time for our parents, and our focus will be on people who share life with us. You can’t have dirty dishes because your mother wants to drink coffee with you, so you will clean your flat before you accept her invitation. You can’t leave your son who got flu, because your mother wants to go in theater with you.

Just, think about, should you erase your past bonds because you are now mother and wife?

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes nasty. When Greta got divorced, she needed help of her mother. She was financially broken and without flat. She was almost on the street, because her husband kick her out. She did not visit her mother 5 years, but when that day came, she had no choice. Her mother accepted her, because it is her daughter. Greta felt so embarrassed. This was enough for her mother, she wanted that her daughter feel guilt.

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What can happen with our past, with life we lived before?

Our parents could be ill.

They can stay without money or in big debts.

You might need your parents or relatives, because you can get into trouble, as divorce.

When we do some changes, it is like we build house. We can’t crush the basic because we bought new furniture. Where will this furniture fit in, if there is no room?

Our parents could be great reminders for life problems. They passed all before, they can give good tips if you ask them. Your mother knows very well how to cook good lunch or how to deal with man in middle crises. Also, just because your sister is unmarried, it doesn’t mean that she has no idea about life. She can be good helper for your children, not just in a role of bank. What if she suddenly earn big money, do you think she will remember you, if you treat her as stranger? Maybe you will need job, and she will not help you because you did not invite her into your new life.

Blood connection is connection from birth. We should all respect our parents, sisters or relatives. When you see photo of family gathering, this is image of respect, devotion and love. One day you will be old too, and your children might forget you, if you don’t teach them how to cherish blood connection for a lifetime.

business · character · control · discrimination · egoism · mobbing · moral · relations

Where is difference between good boss and dictator?

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Obligations and rights are connected. If you are obligated to do something, you have right to ask other things for return. Especially at work, workers have rights and obligations.

In generally, we are humans. If you work at office, you are educated and you deserve appropriate treatment.

Your supervisor, headmaster, boss is not a king neither dictator.

Some bosses have this kind of requests.

 

Knock at my door before you enter.

 

Check what i wrote to you, because i have no time to read what i wrote, read between lines.

 

All important places on documents should be marked with post it papers, in different colors. I have no time to read complete document.

 

Bring me coffee in the morning.

 

Can you take my bag when you are going on business meeting with me?

 

Help me with computer, i am new in this technology age, and some things i don’t know. But i am boss so why should i know?

 

I am always right, because this is hierarchy.

So let suppose that we please all this wishes. Now we need something for return.

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What we will get?

 

If you complain on your boss, go to higher boss. Higher boss will talk with your supervisor, and circle is closing. Of course, try to work harder and you will not have reason to complain.

 

If you are working on the same document or project six months, and your boss doesn’t want to accept your idea, that work will never be finished.

You must copy paste what your boss said.

 

You have problematic client? Try to be calm and reply to him or her, million times if that is necessary.

Even your client is ready for mental hospital, you must have abilities of shrink to guess his wishes.

Some bosses forgot that we live in the age of democracy.

We are not slaves. We know that nobody can’t cut our heads. Also we have brain and ideas. Just because someone is on high position, it doesn’t mean that person is the smartest and genius. It has different meaning. Boss can be person who built career on fake kindness. Right words on right time and right place and here we are. I know person who was always late at work, he had alcoholic problems. But when structure of firm changed, he was the first one who run from office to office to ask for his rights. He was orphan and victim. New people on the top trusted him so he got position as boss of the department.

If we are making mistakes we can’t judge others for the same just because our position is better.

If responsibility exist, it must be justified no matter who did wrong. We can’t punish people accord positions, so person on high level will get smaller punishment. There should not be saint cows.

Every obligation has background. Besides, how we will motivate our workers, if their salaries are small, if we don’t give them enough free days and if they must work sick or under pressure?

Underestimated person is as donkey. You can beat him, but he will still stand on one place. There authority fails, because if you don’t respect your colleague, he will not respect you either and system will fail.

behavior · character · couples · egoism · erotica · internet · jealousy · lovers · men · relations

Are you in relation with robot?

 

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Painful experiences are our teachers, but also executioners. After someone broke your heart, you cry in silence of your room and then your mother or friends will tell you “I warned you.” You will say that nobody has label on forehead  with title “Bad guy”, but if you know to read between lines, some signs will tell you what kind of person is boy you fall in love.  Even you believe that nobody can’t be cruel if you show love to him,  progress of technology makes people different, and your beloved guy is maybe emotional robot.

The main problem of every teenage girl is how to make difference between guys who want to take an advantage and guys who take care for you. Even it looks so fine on first sight, suddenly moron broke you in pieces, and you did not recognize him.

Here is small guide for beginners, how to recognize emotional robots.

He will know his rights, but never his obligations. So, he will ask sex from you, but if you want to introduce him to parents, he will suddenly find million reasons not to do it.

He will not call you every day. He wants you sometimes, not always. 

When he wants you, and you reject him because you have no time, he will be furious. Then you will be guilty for everything, because you don’t run on his call.

He has a lot of female friends, with everyone of them he will exchange kisses, hugs, compliments, and if you show jealousy, you are idiot.

He will talk about your private details to his friends. Beware of this, because now days he can use your internet photos or videos against you.

Search his internet profile. If he has many naked or half naked girls, he is a hunter . You are not his exception, you are his number. 

If you are sensitive person, if you think with heart and not with mind, you are in big trouble. Rational girls always have better results. If you are person who doesn’t fall so easy, you will be desirable target but you will know how to deal with this because your priorities are different. You have friends, hobbies, work, and if your guy doesn’t fit, you will simply erase him from your life.

We can compare love stories now days and from the past. As technology is progressing, as we are surrounded by cell phones, tablets, laptops and all that miracles , with cable or wireless, we are getting colder and colder. Look at some couples when you visit coffee bars. He will write sms, and she will change statuses on her social network. After half hours they will remember that they came together to drink coffee.

In past, women had dance list of partners, men were singing under windows and they got many love letters. France poet Cyrano de Bergerac wrote love letters for fiance of his friend, because that friend wanted to impress her. If you ask modern guy to write you some sweet words, he will ask google or laugh, because that is so turn off.

Modern technology has influence on feelings, so people will act like robots. It is so easy to fall in love in internet and to delete person after you flirt with her. You can block her and you will spare yourself of tears.

New bad guys are not those who will hit you immediately or insult you on first sight.

Their methods are more complicated and sophisticated. They are emotional robots. That guy will send you virtual flowers and then you will see that he did the same to many women. You will get forwarded message about his flirting or some nasty woman will send you his message about you. Remember, that guys grew up in a way that they played video games . They are interested to reach higher level, and you could be their victim.

How to fit emotions in new age?

Be careful who is your virtual friend, don’t get close before you check him.

Remember, this is just computer and if you don’t meet him alive, you are safe from bad lessons.

Be silent if you know what kind of guy is he. Show poker face, he will not know what is behind your mask.

Modern guys don’t sing in front of your window, they don’t write love letters and they search google to learn how to declare love.

Your mother probably used to say before : “Beware of guys who paid your drink, beware of those who wants to slap your butt. ” Now days mothers will say : “Take care of guys in internet space, if they send you request and you never hear for them. ”

anxiety · behavior · couples · drama · ego · egoism · flirt · happiness · relations

Why people stay in bad relations?

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When relation has broke, we ask for causers. It did not happen yesterday that something was wrong. It had happened before few years, few months or we just ignored signs. Or, did you realize that you were the only one who kept this relation alive?

 

When i hear or read some articles about women who complained that their guy treat them bad, i always wonder why did they stay in such relation. What was the reason? Love, money, fear or just a habit? Then, second question would be, why guy did not break this, when he did not love as he should love his partner?

Some phenomenon i wish to talk about are forced breakups. No, this is not breakup with gun , nobody is physically injured. This is situation where guy is passive, ignorant, but he is still there and he waits for a moment when woman will say – enough.

In this story Lidia fall in love in Patrick. They were cute couple, as she was stronger part in this relation, and he was more mama’s boy. Despite of all, they had good time together. When Lidia said that she wants breakup, all her friends were surprised. Lidia explained that Patrick never planned weekends. Patrick never bought her gift , even for her birthday, he said her to choose something in market, and he was paying bill. Lidia suggested when will they make love at first time, also her idea was that they need to live together. Patrick would say “i don’t know” and it was story of their life. One day Lidia had flu and Patrick visited his mother. Her temperature was very high so she called Patrick to drive her at emergency. Patrick said that he can’t do it this moment, cause he helps his mother with new furniture. Lidia called neighbor to help her. When she recovered, she said Patrick to pack his things and move out from her flat.

This what some women do, stay in relation where is no actions, no plans and no future.

Why guys stay in relation when they indeed don’t care for a woman?

They have safe sex with one partner.

They have safe shelter, kind of home.

They have friend and partner in the same box.

They have someone to cuddle their ego.

Now, question is, who should run first? Woman who is damaged, or man who is passive? I think many woman wait for a final event, something what would shock her. This shock effect, as betrayal, affair, disloyalty is just a milestone. So, now is enough. Now i got you. Now, we are at the end of this road.

I understand, to break with someone who doesn’t give a shit about you must be hard if you love this person. You are going against your heart. He is also not in good position, because he knows he will hurt you. Well, he hurts you all the time, so breakup is a crown. Isn’t it better to jump from the window, than to roll over the steps, as the last hero of masochism?

 

anxiety · behavior · bohemians · couples · crises · egoism · erotica · relations

Get over him in silence

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There is saying that silence is gold. It prevents us from hurting and bad influences from ugly words. Also, if you know to handle things quietly, you will keep your selfrespect and dignity untouchable.

Nick and Marsha met after 2 years of their breakup. They met in the street and they could not avoid each other , so they started little chat.

– How are you?

– Fine.

– How are you?

– I am fine too.

– Anything new?

– All is normal.

This was their conversation. Then they said bye. Unspoken words and silence talked more then words they said.

Marsha remembered their wild nights and his cheating around. Nick remembered of her great body and sharp mind. She never allowed him to rule with her, and he blamed her for being too independent. “You always has right.” – it was their sentence when they started conflict, one by one.

Some relation can’t be never fixed. If you start friendship, you will see obstacle like rock in the way. If you show feelings, more careness than is usual, things will be even worse. So they chose formality and silence.

Once when couple break up, large ammount of bitterness is in the air. If you want good memories, cover them with silence. Don’t digg and don’t start over and over again. Stop this clouds until they cause big storm.

Nick and Marsha walked away with peace in their hearts. Silence sealed their relation forever.

 

When relation comes to phase that words are sufficient, we must show sign stop. Close your mouth and don’t talk more. You agreed with breakup, now don’t change your mind. It is better to think that some things are in the air, than to ask something when damage is already done. Remember person how she was in her best edition. Let his smile stay in your memories and remind you on your best days. Next time, when you will walk with new love, you will say with healthy conscience that was your ex boyfriend. No regrets, guilty or rage from your side.

Some relations are as products with deadlines. When that deadline pass, that product is not useful anymore. Even worse, it will cause pains and unwanted side effects. Silence after breakup is painless solution. Nobody gets hurt, and you can go forward released from chains.

business · career · communication · crises · egoism · freedom · mobbing · money · moral · relations

Mind your own business

 

Privacy is our secret box. We decide shall we share it with others or not. Also, when we open view to this box to someone, this is the way how we give that person key in hands. This is trust, and it can be used and abused.

If you expect that everybody will be grateful to you for giving them trust, you are wrong. Snake is a snake, and if you don’t know well human character, you will be surprised why particular person hurts you. Because , if you trust to snake, he or she will spit poison when you less expect.

Very important thing is, separate private stuffs from your work. People at work are our cooperators and they should not know about our privacy , not all details.

Here is the example. Woman who speaks on the phone during work time, about her daughter who needs to go to gynecologist and she is still a virgin. Oh, how she will handle man doctor, she is so shy? Why should we know about this?

Some questions are not allowed even on job interview.

For example:

Are you married?

– Do you have children?

– Do you plan to have children?

People should respect the privacy of others, but also you can’t allow to interfere your privacy with business, it is necessary to leave your private problems at home. How to receive clients if your eyes are full of tears? How to represent your new project if you are so angry on your children that you cannot focus at work?

When Justin Bieber broke up with Selena Gomez, she did not feel good, but she had public appearance and she smiled, as real professional girl. These are situation when we must handle our private falls and downs and continue with smile. This is how strong characters work.

Of course, some things in our life are not easy and if we think we can’t , it is time that someone replace us in important task. We need to notify someone that our problems are serious and it will be solved on other way. Sandra had car accident and she did not notify her cooperators that meeting will be delayed. She made monkeys from people. Yes, they understand that she is wounded, but she is not in coma and she had cell phone to notify them. That woman was really messed up.

We cannot ask apologies if we interfere others in our problems, and if we are causers of troubles. This is responsibility, and real test for adult people.

behavior · bohemians · character · discrimination · egoism · energy · envy · relations

Are we society of hypocrites?

When someone accepts you as you are, with your natural characteristics and principles, that person care about you. You don’t need to be perfect or different, all you need is just to be real you. It sounds very simple, but it is not easy to find person who will recognize real you. Life is full of situations when we will be forced to hide our real personality, at least until storm pass.

 

When we are playing roles?

At workplace.
Every workplace has own rules and if you wish to fit in, your skills will be focused how to survive. You will learn fake smile, sweet words and smarmy behavior, even that is not real you. 

When someone introduce you to his parents and relatives. 
Now, you will be an actor. Can you tell to mother of your boyfriend that you changed guys as socks before you met her son? No, you can’t , so you will be innocent, kind flower who discovered life in the moment when you met him. 

In politician groups and circles. You want to be candidate on next elections? You wish that people vote for you? If you are hasty, aggressive and troublemaker, people will not trust you. But, why to tell the truth? Now you wear nice business suit so you can act role of gentleman.

At funerals.

Sometimes you will not be sad because someone died. Especially if that is your boss or mother in law, you will feel relief if they made your life bitter. What you will do? Cry and wipe fake tears, make sad face and give condolence to their families.

At business meetings.

Now you are pretending that you are listening, that you are so fascinated with some ideas or projects. In fact, you can’t wait, when this will be finished? You will not say that you get bored. You will say that it was so useful meeting and then is time to ask questions, to show interest. 

Some situations are appropriate for playing roles. That is not hypocrisy, that is just survival. Your mask will protect your interest, but also on that way you are protecting others, you are not embarrassing them, and all are happy.

If you need to pretend in your free time, that is problem. You have special person in your life and she doesn’t like real you? Now you can’t reveal your real face, that mask will be with you forever. Maybe you need to die inside, for the sake of your partner.

Problem in human nature is in expectations. It is nice to see happy and kind face , but truth is somewhere else. We can adopt some patterns of behavior for some occasions, but we are not robots, and this schedule will have failures.

The key of happiness is in acceptance of others imperfections. Our kindness has limits, as our patience. Every person knows when is time to show real, naked truth, and when is time to hide this bomb. If we don’t have understanding, this bomb will explode in unexpected moment. Then everybody could ask, who are you and how they did not see this before. That hypocrisy was on their way, but they skipped over it.

character · crises · drama · dreams · egoism · illusion · lies · relations

Why we don’t listen advices when we fall in love?

 

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Until we swim in the sea of passion, our view is not objective. Any advice will escape from our ears and critics of others will be undesirable. If someone said something bad about your guy, you will think that is act of envious person. If you are woman who gives your heart in complete on first sight, you are in dangerous road. Don’t surrender to your emotions too soon.

Love is connection of two people, but it doesn’t mean that you should be unavailable for world outside. If you fall in love in person who is not for you, others will tell you some info, in good intention. No matter is that your sister, best friend or mother, you should listen before conclusion.

So, Adele had much problems with her daughter Rose. Her boyfriend Max called her once on week, in the middle of the night and later she was crying, because she heard that she is not the only one.She could not leave him, until she found out that he had sex with other girl right before he drove her home. Then Rose decided for rebellion . She said to Max that he is idiot, and Max slapped her. Then she remembered words of her mother: “If he loves you, why he doesn’t call you every day? Why he pick you up in the middle of the night, as prostitute?” Adele hated her mother so much, but soon she realized, her mother was right. She falls in love in idiot and she got hard lesson.

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Why we don’t listen other advices when we have chance to avoid troubles?

We wish to taste adventures. So, if you never try, you will never know.

We feel stupid. Who is he or she to told us what to do? We know the best.

Advice sounds as preaching. Preachers and teachers are boring. It reminds on punishment in childhood.

We don’t want to miss something. If we listen good advice, we will avoid troubles, but maybe this person was wrong.

We believe that we are exception of rules. Every woman likes to say “He cheats women, but not me. He loves me.”

When love is in the air, brain is on the way. How you could believe that this cute guy is dangerous, hooligan, idiot or even criminal? He was so nice and kind. Your friend can tell you info about his past, but you will not listen because he changed, he is different, he cut off previous life. Until he does something awful to you.

This beloved traitor put thorn in your heart. Now you need to take medicine against that, even you could avoid bleeding.