Are you person of your ages or time pass over you?

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Everybody will remember old uncle Albert from comedy serial “Only fools and horses. ” When he started to talk about “during the war” stories, his family members were yelling “shut up Albert!”. Elders could be boring and annoying people even they are not aware of this. It doesn’t matter how old are you , the matters is your mental age. If you are old in soul, you are fossil.

Bertha and Emily are two different women. Bertha is 40, and Emily is 45. In weekend time, they talked about plans. 

Bertha said : “I will sleep all Sunday and read good book. Maybe i finish my knitting. “

Emily said: “I go to concert of Pearl Jam. Evan invited me, it will be cool night.”

Reaction of Bertha: “Aren’t you too old for this? There will be crowd, kids will push you from all sides. And that noise, omg, how can you listen this?”

Emily replied: “No i am not old, i feel very well thank you. But you are old and grumpy. “


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How can you know that people around you consider you as old zombie?

You poke your nose everywhere, teaching and preaching about everything, even you don’t know nothing about some subjects. 

When you talk, you use past time, as you have Alzheimer illness. 

“It was before twenty years. I remember you had blue suit when you proposed me.”

You are nostalgic, because, accord you, everything was better before.

You talk with other people from heights, as they are kids. 

“Oh i could be mother to you. You are still greenhorn dear.”

You are definitely not in trend. 

“What kind of song is this? This is incredible rattle. What you wear today? Oh, that skirt is too short, that makeup is for aliens, not for you.

I believe that elder people should have dignity in a way to respect other choices. If you are grumpy and you complain on everything around you, that makes you older. It doesn’t matter do you have 30 or 50 years. You are as old computer who reject new updates. You are virus , resistant on changes.

Advices from elders are useful to young people, if you use humor until you talk with them . Also, treat them with equality. Years are not guarantee of intelligence. You can be smart with 20 and other could be stupid with 50. 

Let your spirit fly out from this cage. Don’t afraid to smile and enjoy in things which are for young people. It is not forbidden to go in night club or in concert even young people are there. Wear this short skirt if you feel good in this. What others think, does it matter? 

Everyone will get old. Some people  are old all their life, others are young until the last day. Better to live few days as lion, than 100 days as sheep.

The day when respect died

From ancient times people were hungry for sensation. Hang man on the square like in western movies, we will go there to see his end. Inquisition time gave special events with  so called witches, everybody should see torching and deaths on bonfire.

Today, death penalty is removed from many legislations, but still people are hungry for blood and death. We have new technology, so you tube can help us too see unusual events. Famous designer Sandra d’ Auriol made suicide, jumped from 15th floor of clinic in Beverly Hills and we can see video about this. She had plastic surgery and after that she behaved strange, she was naked in the moment when she made suicide. There are doubts about side effects of anestetic cure, which she got after her plastic surgery. Her suicide made free showtime for people , even it was terrible tragedy for her husband and family.

What we think when someone made suicide? Shall we judge or feel sorry for that person? Many reaction talk about wondering, curiosity, but who is really sad? Where is respect to dead people?

I remember when my grandfather died. His funeral was in small village, where he was born. He was great man, devoted to his wife and family. His sister in law came with cell phone. This phone was ringing few times during the ceremony. Later she told that she had business calls. It was really undecent, making phone calls during funeral, like she could not find another time for that.

How much we respected person during life, it will be visible on the funeral. If we smile, talk loud or making phone calls, this is disrespect. Also, enjoying in other tragedies is somehow sick. Life can put everyone in the same position and we will not be happy to see others how they make black jokes about our privacy.

When someone get through darkness, others will see the dawn.

This is Croatian quote. Some people will get money from other’s tragedies. Sandra d’ Auriol was rich and famous, she was making jewerlies. Her tragical end will put shadow on her career, but more sad is how will everybody see her end. Free horror movie for audience. It was day when respect died together with her.

Frozen in time machine

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Life is going on, and things are changing. What was forbidden now is allowed, what was popular now is turn off and ridiculous. People who want to fit in trends, must be flexible. You will know you are getting old if you start to judge something what is valuable nowadays.

If you are not updating your mind, you are time passenger who stuck in time machine. You are frozen inside and out. Imagine woman who wear the same coat 20 ages because she wants to spare money. Maybe practical but it will look like someone found her frozen in mountain before 20 ages.

It is very important to learn new skills. 


Why?

You can’t get a job nowdays if you don’t know nothing about computers.

You are not be desirable match for new partners if you judge life style nowdays, especially if you prefer younger partners.

People will laugh to you because you refuse to accept changes.

Tea and Jack live in new building, but neighbors are mostly old people. Tea wear goth style, she has most of the time black makeup , she is pretty but somehow scary for old women. But Tea is always nice and kind. Until the day old woman offended her in front of elevator.

 

You girl, you look like someone who broke the law. I should report you and your boyfriend because of loud music, and in this purse for sure you have pills and drugs.

– Oh please woman get back into age of inquisition and hire witch hunters.

 

I believe that some old people hard accept changes. Maybe they are scared, they feel less important or they simply refuse to accept that old days gone. Women beauty is different, preferences are different and if you cannot accept this you will be an intruder.

An opposite, Thomas is so cool professor in high school. He has over 50 ages, but he knows all about computers, cell phones  and 3 D projections so his students like to discuss with him. He is an authority, because he can approach more closer to young people, he is informed about their world. How can you even expect that people listen to you if you don’t know nothing about them? Thomas updated his mind and he really enjoy in classroom.

If you cannot learn new things, your mind must be lazy or stubborn. You will be as elephant in shopping in some situations. Avoid this for own sake, if not for anybody else. 

Remember Giordano Bruno, Columbo or Nostradamus who were forward their times. Always is better to explore new ideas than to stuck in time machine.

Shadow mate

 

If you think about life as a gift, this will be special envelope addressed to you. It means, you will open this and try to make something from awesome elements. You will find lovers, friends, job and try to live this life with full lungs. 

“This is my life.” When you say this, you protect your rights to live as you wish. Maybe you are poor, promiscuous, in conflict with all around you, but this life you chose. There is nothing so exciting as freedom of your beliefs and thoughts. 

Sometimes, we can notice different people, who like to talk about others , but not about themselves. They live through other lives. Imagine situation when you walk around, and someone is following you. This person will do the same what you do and go anywhere with you. This is your shadow mate.

Which are symptoms of life in shadow?

Person talk as she or he. “She was here with this guy. ” “He was buying apples when she came.”

Person is angry , not because of own reasons. Person is angry because of something what other did.

If you know someone who like to gossip, this is real example of shadow mate. This person is source because all what she do is digging into other lives.

Person is obsessed. You can’t persuade her in anything different.

Look around yourself, you will see many shadow mates. This woman who works in office next to yours, she know the time when you come at work , that you will get late. She knows all about your clothes and shoes, that you wear something out of dress code. She knows that you did not put makeup yesterday and that your boss was yelling at you.

This old man who is staring from his window knows all about your lovers, he saw that you were drunk last Saturday and that you fall on the stairs. 

Local postman knows were you went to vacation and that your cat get lost in unknown direction. Yes, he heard about this, how can you hide something from him?

What is common to those people?

Once they had life which occupied them. Something happened, maybe his wife died, or her husband get divorce from her. Maybe she got nervous breakdown. Now they sop all info about others, to feed their brain. If they dig something bad, this is more good for them. They heal their internal frustrations with others misery. 

Your shadow mate lives with you in community. No, you did not accept him. He is your label, your stamp. Whatever you do, he will know about this. 

You have choices, don’t care too much and live as shadow mate doesn’t exist. Indeed, he exist only as your follower. His real life vanished a long time ago.

Midlife crises

 


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The best period of life is youth. Time is passing by very quickly, and if we don’t gain what we wanted there is space for emptiness. It is like mosaic, one cube is missing. Now you are old man or old woman, and when you turn around yourself what you can see?

Or here is something what you missed, but not behind you, this is forward you?

Hugh Hefner for sure could be role model of many men who wanted to be playboys, but for some reasons it could not work. All this beautiful sexy ladies around him, and he needs only to pick . Many men dream about harem, because it is boring to have one woman for a lifetime. I bet male fantasies will include young and beautiful women, kind and sweet, without many questions, ready to realize hidden men wishes. 

So, what is with average old man, retired, who has no money for beautiful young women? He can only look around or make fool of yourself. For example, Samuel is old and ready for retirement. He has an awful habit to kiss all women at his work , he will always find an excuse that someone has birthday, that he is wonderful friend or simply hungry for attention. Secretly, he sent an email to young women next door. When she got old fashioned postcard on email, she told him that he is old fool. He was offended, but lucky she did not tell her boyfriend, otherwise Samuel would be retired much faster than he thought. 

The same is with some old women. Once when children gone, when grandchildren don’t take care of her and husband is dead or sick, some women made profile at internet pages. You don’t believe? At Facebook you can see many fake pages, photos with young women and under that is old granny who is sad or bored with her life. She want fresh meat or just one guy who will listen to her. One mature woman in fifties can fool young naive guys around, because she is master. She can be serious obstacle even to young girls because she know how to give attention to inexperienced, lonely boys who never had girlfriend and who are afraid to approach girls in their ages. 

Or she can even open profile with male photo to make confusion around. But, in opposite to men strategy, old women will more pretend. She will play role of friend or mother, ready to help with advices and to be in service. That are consequences of midlife crises. When people lose path, aim and purpose. When they have wishes, but they don’t have future. 

 

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Every phase in life is filled with troubles. 

When you are young, people will not get you serious. If you are mature without children and partner, people will sorry for you. When you are old, people will consider you as burden. But everything depends on person. 

Especially old men and old women should have a large amount of dignity and self respect. They should know what is decent, normal and suitable for their ages. At the end, they are role models for next generations, so their inheritance should not be some fake page or erotic email. 

How we take others for granted?

 

Happiness is double sided value. We often can’t recognize until we have it, or we don’t appreciate what we have, until it’s gone. Once, when that precious treasure gone from us, we will sit and cry, try to get it back because only then we realize real value.

Did you have great friend, but you use him as toy? Did you have good job but you did not appreciate your position enough? Also, did you make a fool from your beloved partner, even he or she did everything for you? When you take someone for granted, you will get paycheck later, with the biggest price you ever seen. 

Edith was example of good wife. She woke up early to prepare breakfast for his husband Anthony, she was ironing his suits for business trips, and their house was clean as drugstore. Anthony did not appreciate her as he should. He was travelling a lot and his company was sexy secretary Jane. All people bragged about his affair, also Edith knew, but she believed that he will change. One day Edith got visit, from her best friend Carol, from Australia. They did not see each other a long time ago. Carol was sales manager, and she had business offer for Edith, to work for her as assistant. Edith was educated, but she left her career because of marriage and kids. After Edith read newspaper and saw Anthony with Jane on business meeting, how they smile and hold their hands, she brought decision. She accepted business offer and move in another city, together with kids, when Anthony was still on business trip. Carol offered her flat for rent and new life. When Anthony returned and saw empty flat, he was desperate. He did calls to beg his wife, to come back. She did not replied, and Anthony is still trying.

 

What is the point? When we play with other feelings, are we culprits?


Maybe other people are not strong enough to show us that we are wrong. Maybe we know, deep inside us, that we will always get forgiveness, despite of our rudeness. “Oh yes she loves me so i can do what i want. “

We should be careful with people who love us too much


Everyone, even the biggest fool, will have limits. Once, when you cross that limits, you are on empty space. You can’t pass into wire fence anymore. What is worse, it is hard to find such good person again. When you kick the dog, he will bite you. If you don’t hold and care the treasure, you will get stones. 

If you are not aware of your happiness, it is hard to prove you an opposite. You will realize when will be too late.

Blood is not water

 

I suppose that everyone of you got sweet promise about something what will last for lifetime. Eternal friendship, sisterhood or love, words said in the moment of enchanting feelings, secret pledge about forever. We all feel that when someone makes our life so beautiful. You made love with this woman and you will say that she will be yours forever. Your friend impressed you by his loyalty and you feel as you owe him. If you have rational mind, you will put reserve into your words. Instead of “I will love you forever”, rational words should be ” I will try to make you happy, as long as i could.” 

Our paths are different. One mother gave birth to daughters, two sisters. She could not gave them guarantee that life will make them happy. Sometimes, one girl will have easier path than other girl. This is a test, how much this circumstances will have influence on their future connection.

Sarah and Tilda were grown up together. They borrowed each other clothes, they went to night club as teenagers, and they were even sleeping in the same bed as kids. It was four year differences between them. One event changed them both and labelled their relation. Sarah got married in 23. She met this guy, got pregnant and he propose her. It was love on first sight, and marriage was suddenly, as thunder. During that marriage Sarah got more children, one more boy and girl. Tilda stayed unmarried, until 41, she share flat with her boyfriend, who did not propose her yet. Nothing strange on first sight, but Sarah lost her feeling for sister. Her family became center of everything. Her husband and three kids occupied all free time, and Sarah was cold even toward her parents. During years, parents and Tilda were in the role of bank. When Sarah needed money, she called them for financial help. They felt unpleasant because Sarah was often moody, and she did not offer them drink or food when they visited her. They complaint, but Sarah did not understand what is wrong. Her reply was : “I did not sleep, i have a family, they made me crazy. I can’t breath from them.”

As we grow up, our priorities are changing. We will have less time for our parents, and our focus will be on people who share life with us. You can’t have dirty dishes because your mother wants to drink coffee with you, so you will clean your flat before you accept her invitation. You can’t leave your son who got flu, because your mother wants to go in theater with you. 

Just, think about, should you erase your past bonds because you are now mother and wife?

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes nasty. When Greta got divorced, she needed help of her mother. She was financially broken and without flat. She was almost on the street, because her husband kick her out. She did not visit her mother 5 years, but when that day came, she had no choice. Her mother accepted her, because it is her daughter. Greta felt so embarrassed. This was enough for her mother, she wanted that her daughter feel guilt. 

What can happen with our past, with life we lived before?

Our parents could be ill.

They can stay without money or in big debts.

You might need your parents or relatives, because you can get into trouble, as divorce.

When we do some changes, it is like we build house. We can’t crush the basic because we bought new furniture. Where will this furniture fit in, if there is no room?

Our parents could be great reminders for life problems. They passed all before, they can give good tips if you ask them. Your mother knows very well how to cook good lunch or how to deal with man in middle crises. Also, just because your sister is unmarried, it doesn’t mean that she has no idea about life. She can be good helper for your children, not just in a role of bank. What if she suddenly earn big money, do you think she will remember you, if you treat her as stranger? Maybe you will need job, and she will not help you because you did not invite her into your new life.

Blood connection is connection from birth. We should all respect our parents, sisters or relatives. When you see photo of family gathering, this is image of respect, devotion and love. One day you will be old too, and your children might forget you, if you don’t teach them how to cherish blood connection for a lifetime.