character · crises · depression · egoism · elders · energy · envy · family · relations

How strong is connection with your family?

 

I suppose that everyone of you got sweet promise about something what will last for lifetime. Eternal friendship, sisterhood or love, words said in the moment of enchanting feelings, secret pledge about forever. We all feel that when someone makes our life so beautiful. You made love with this woman and you will say that she will be yours forever. Your friend impressed you by his loyalty and you feel as you owe him. If you have rational mind, you will put reserve into your words. Instead of “I will love you forever”, rational words should be ” I will try to make you happy, as long as i could.”

Our paths are different. One mother gave birth to daughters, two sisters. She could not gave them guarantee that life will make them happy. Sometimes, one girl will have easier path than other girl. This is a test, how much this circumstances will have influence on their future connection.

Sarah and Tilda were grown up together. They borrowed each other clothes, they went to night club as teenagers, and they were even sleeping in the same bed as kids. It was four year differences between them. One event changed them both and labelled their relation. Sarah got married in 23. She met this guy, got pregnant and he propose her. It was love on first sight, and marriage was suddenly, as thunder. During that marriage Sarah got more children, one more boy and girl. Tilda stayed unmarried, until 41, she share flat with her boyfriend, who did not propose her yet. Nothing strange on first sight, but Sarah lost her feeling for sister. Her family became center of everything. Her husband and three kids occupied all free time, and Sarah was cold even toward her parents. During years, parents and Tilda were in the role of bank. When Sarah needed money, she called them for financial help. They felt unpleasant because Sarah was often moody, and she did not offer them drink or food when they visited her. They complaint, but Sarah did not understand what is wrong. Her reply was : “I did not sleep, i have a family, they made me crazy. I can’t breath from them.”

As we grow up, our priorities are changing. We will have less time for our parents, and our focus will be on people who share life with us. You can’t have dirty dishes because your mother wants to drink coffee with you, so you will clean your flat before you accept her invitation. You can’t leave your son who got flu, because your mother wants to go in theater with you.

Just, think about, should you erase your past bonds because you are now mother and wife?

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes nasty. When Greta got divorced, she needed help of her mother. She was financially broken and without flat. She was almost on the street, because her husband kick her out. She did not visit her mother 5 years, but when that day came, she had no choice. Her mother accepted her, because it is her daughter. Greta felt so embarrassed. This was enough for her mother, she wanted that her daughter feel guilt.

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What can happen with our past, with life we lived before?

Our parents could be ill.

They can stay without money or in big debts.

You might need your parents or relatives, because you can get into trouble, as divorce.

When we do some changes, it is like we build house. We can’t crush the basic because we bought new furniture. Where will this furniture fit in, if there is no room?

Our parents could be great reminders for life problems. They passed all before, they can give good tips if you ask them. Your mother knows very well how to cook good lunch or how to deal with man in middle crises. Also, just because your sister is unmarried, it doesn’t mean that she has no idea about life. She can be good helper for your children, not just in a role of bank. What if she suddenly earn big money, do you think she will remember you, if you treat her as stranger? Maybe you will need job, and she will not help you because you did not invite her into your new life.

Blood connection is connection from birth. We should all respect our parents, sisters or relatives. When you see photo of family gathering, this is image of respect, devotion and love. One day you will be old too, and your children might forget you, if you don’t teach them how to cherish blood connection for a lifetime.

behavior · business · career · character · crises · cyber space · destiny · dreams · energy · relations

Who deserves second chance?

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Fool me once, mistake is yours. Fool me twice, or for a third time, mistake is mine. People are not robots, so everyone can do something bad to other person. No matter if you miss to do something good or you did bad thing, you made mistake. Now this is open space for another chance.

When you give another chance , your heart is opened to forgiveness. Forgive, forget and give new opportunity because we are all from flesh and blood. What is indeed second chance? This is benefit and we can’t splash it again. Inside of that second chance is also an alert , if you fool me again, this is forever.

Heart is soft and there is big space for forgiveness. Sweet words are melting poison, and person can cross us with promises and lies. Second, third or forth chance, who care, if he forgot first time, he will do it again. So, when you use second chance as expanded background for more bad activities, this happens in bad purpose.

Think about to whom you will give second chance. Will you exterminate lies and fake promises from the same person if you give this chance again?

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Heather and Mona were friends for a long time. That friendship ended up when Heather start to date with Mona’s ex boyfriend Paul. They broke up before a month, and Heather jumped into that relation without notify her friend. Mona did not accepted it well so she avoided Heather for a years. She was hurt because her heart was still suffering, and Heather put knife there with her decision to date with Paul. Few years later Heather met Mona at the street and they talked about past times. She was not with Paul anymore and she wanted another chance. Mona accepted her again, she missed her old friendship. After some time, Mona saw mysterious sms on the phone of her husband. Now she was happily married and she trusted to him. That sms was from Heather, she wanted to drink coffee with Mona’s new husband. All doubts went back. Mona kicked her out forever. Her husband denied invitation from Heather, and Mona regret why she allow to herself to mess with Heather again. She was not indeed worthy of try.

When we give someone another chance, this decision can’t develop over night. Why this person did not use first chance? Why we are now in situation that we need another proof of loyalty and devotion? It would be easier to erase this person from life, to give opportunity to someone new.

It is easier to trust someone new, because we start from the beginning. 

There are no glitch from the past. We don’t see tail from past mistakes. Man was drinking alcohol and lose his job. Now, after rehab, he start to work again, and he drink again. Maybe, under pressure of new chance, he will mistake again. Second chance can be burden for those who are starting the same path again. It is like you repeat the same class, once you failed, and you are tense because of past experiences.

If someone did mistake, think about intention behind it. Maybe that person did not know about consequences. Maybe this is just indolence. In that case we can forgive, with warning that this is the last chance.

Second chance is not invitation for third or forth chance. This is yellow card, as in football. You are still in, but if you mistake again, you are out forever.

character · control · couples · drama · dreams · energy · illusion · relations

Why men should stand behind their women?

Basic instinct of every man is to care for his woman. Either to bring her food or drink, either to protect her from another men. Mature man will know how to face it with some jackass who wish to stole their girlfriend, but young guys will be in dilemma, how to protect their honor and not to hurt their better half with aggressive behavior.

I heard story about this topic from my friend. He went to date with younger girl and they visited night club. While he was in toilet, she was in the corner, dancing and waiting for him. Suddenly, other guy approached her and offered her drink. She accepted. When my friend came back, his girlfriend was chatting and drinking cocktail with unknown guy. He reacted impulsive, he wanted to get out and fight with the competition. But, when that other guy accepted invitation , he suddenly gave up. My friend explained this : “Why to beat somebody because my girl accepted his drink? She should not accept this because she came with me. At least, she pretended that i am not here.  “

The biggest problem you will ever have with men is when you do things under their back. Of course, you are not his dog and he can’t put you on leash, but you need to share trust with him. If you are with him, why to flirt with others, even in front of his eyes?

I remember situations when i was waiting my husband to bring me beer. Guys sometimes approached to me, to check am i alone, with friends, or boyfriend. I would smile and show that i am not alone and always rejected drinks. I am not poor and can buy my own drink. When you accept drink from stranger, this is invitation for talk. So, he broke ice and now you are available for him, no matter even you are not single. When you go out with your partner, you will not be all the time together with him. This is normal, he will go to toilet, say hello to his friends, bring you drink. You will say hello to your friends. You are not his sticker, and sometimes it may cause confusion, because guys are trying to catch some free woman. If you are attractive, chances are bigger that you might get into trouble.

Once i saw beautiful girl in night club, she was dancing alone while her partner was sitting at the stairs. He was not interested for techno dance, so he was just watching from the main floor. Guys were approaching her, one by one, to talk, even to be rejected, just to try. She was kind but cold. It was professional kindness, i could almost read this “do not disturb” title on her face.

On other hand, which guy will threat to other guy, who only tried to get attention? If rival is decent, if he knows limits, there is no problem with word no. If you have bad luck, you will meet someone as Joe. Joe was guy i used to know. He adores dance, and he was spinning around every girl on the floor. He did not even ask is girl without partner. So he got some punches in the face.

Sometimes, girl will cause incident, just to feed her ego.
If you are not that guy who will fight as Steven Segal, she will call you pussy or sissy. You need to use common sense if you wish to punch other guy, is he really deserved this? What if he is her boss from work or just nerd from school who wanted to remain her on exam?

Now, in which situation is necessary to start fight?

When other guy doesn’t give up from flirt with your girlfriend.

When other guy pushed you. So he already started.

When other guy insulted your girlfriend.

When other guy try to kiss your girlfriend.

In this world, not everyone is gentleman. Some men are jerks and it is hard to explain that woman in short skirt  is not available for everyone. She dressed up for her partner, not for everyone in the club. She did not want to challenge you, she wanted to be pretty for her partner. Glass of alcohol, angry guy and fight can start. Are you bodyguard with licence or you just slapped wrong guy, who only wanted to say hello to your girlfriend?

behavior · career · coincidence · crime · energy · illusion · money · moral · relations

Did you fall in trap of superstition?

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If we could predict our future it would be step forward. Maybe we could avoid something unpleasant and stop things which we don’t want.  How to win in this race with unpredictable life?

Fanny can’t find normal boyfriend. She is blind in this tunnel of love. Every guy she met had something what rejected her at the end. So, she was printing their photos with one purpose. She will take this photos to clairvoyant. Fanny heard about man who lives in lonely house in the village. She paid him some money to see important things from this photos.

She was disappointed with result.

– You are insecure person Fanny. You can’t decide what you want. That men are unavailable at the moment and i don’t see clear what is on their mind. Seems vibration for today are not good.

Later, Fanny met with her best friend Alice.

– Dear, why you paid him for this? I could tell you some things from cup of coffee , without money. Sometimes you are really naive.

When you are in trouble and way out doesn’t exist, you will think about high forces.

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In this situation, you are perfect victim for any kind of fraud. So called seer can convince you that you are cursed and that someone put spell on you. Also, if you are unhappy in love, seer can help you too. You will get some materials and that guy you dream every night will be yours. Just , first you need to pay some money. But, what is money in compare with eternal happiness without spell or whole life with person you love? You can give all money you have, so result will be better and better.

One day Gypsy woman said to me that she wants to read from my palm. I accepted from joke, and she asked me money. I gave her small coins to check her. Suddenly she said to me that she can’t see future with so small amount of money. She said, that i have spell and if i don’t pay bigger money, this spell will ruin my life. I knew this was scam so i just left.

Some people are indeed talented to predict future. Even FBI will ask for a help from seers and that people are professional. They will not threat to others, they will do their job and it takes lot of energy and they are exhausted from their visions.

Other people are also talented, but for fraud. They will deceive innocent victims. Man in Croatia said to woman entrepreneur that she has spell and she paid him big money to clean this curse. He gave her stinky water and some other things, and for a return, he use her for marketing of his services, and he robbed her. He got six months of prison.

When you are desperate, or in panic, don’t let your fear to take over your mind. You can get devil’s offer. This will be promise that your problems will disappear over night. Instead of this, you can have bigger problems , how to return money you lost.

You want to dig into your future? Let’s cook coffee and go to your friend or neighbor to have some fun. Maybe they can see something useful, and for sure you will not leave with empty pockets.

business · career · drama · dreams · ego · energy · envy · relations

Why success is not possible over night?

Rise from the dust is motivational quote. That is something as “die to be born again”. When you touch the bottom and only shits are under , your friends will courage you on this way. Legend about Phoenix is good example. Red-gold bird Phoenix will die to finish his life circle, and then he will rise from the dust and go in Helliopolis. Accord some legends, that bird lives 500 and more years, as symbol of eternal braveness.

If you ever participated on business meeting where some entrepreneur wanted to sell his products , you will hear similar stories. First what you see is man in business suite or elegant woman. They will talk endlessly with artificial smile on their faces.

“I was fat and ugly, with bad teeth. Everybody laughed to me. I was victim of bullies. Then i woke up one day with strong decision to make success in my life. I got an idea, this product will change my life forever. People joined to me, we spread our circle and now we are earning a lot of money. I will not get up from my bed for less than … (large amount of euros or dollars). “

That kind of story will inspire losers so everybody will think that changes are possible over night. If you were born as ugly duck, soon this makeover will be done. You are beautiful princess and all kings are fighting for you. Stories about success are filled by exaggerating. I had 100 kilograms and now model agency is chasing me. “Playboy” wants to pay for my naked photos. Bill Gates called me to offer me a job.

Before you swallow all this nonsense, open your eyes.

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This period of recession is good background for impostors. Before few years unknown travel agency in Croatia offered journey from dreams in Tenerife, for 600 euros. Small money for elite vacation, but good trap for poor people. Some of them paid this and never saw Tenerife. Instead of this they saw article in newspaper about this “agency.” Guess, their employees never replied on phone calls after they took money.

It is not all black, so success is possible. Well you will not open door and Bill Gates will not stay in front with business offer. Also, Hugh Hefner will not chase you for nude cover of magazine. Step by step, you can go very far if you believe in yourself but also if you have healthy awareness. Be ready for money loss, night with insomnia and people who will laugh to you.

Success is unpleasant because envious people will surround you as sharks.

Here is that Phoenixks with briefcase, ready to destroy you, because he is your competitor. Don’t let him to stand on your feet.

behavior · bohemians · character · discrimination · egoism · energy · envy · relations

Are we society of hypocrites?

When someone accepts you as you are, with your natural characteristics and principles, that person care about you. You don’t need to be perfect or different, all you need is just to be real you. It sounds very simple, but it is not easy to find person who will recognize real you. Life is full of situations when we will be forced to hide our real personality, at least until storm pass.

 

When we are playing roles?

At workplace.
Every workplace has own rules and if you wish to fit in, your skills will be focused how to survive. You will learn fake smile, sweet words and smarmy behavior, even that is not real you. 

When someone introduce you to his parents and relatives. 
Now, you will be an actor. Can you tell to mother of your boyfriend that you changed guys as socks before you met her son? No, you can’t , so you will be innocent, kind flower who discovered life in the moment when you met him. 

In politician groups and circles. You want to be candidate on next elections? You wish that people vote for you? If you are hasty, aggressive and troublemaker, people will not trust you. But, why to tell the truth? Now you wear nice business suit so you can act role of gentleman.

At funerals.

Sometimes you will not be sad because someone died. Especially if that is your boss or mother in law, you will feel relief if they made your life bitter. What you will do? Cry and wipe fake tears, make sad face and give condolence to their families.

At business meetings.

Now you are pretending that you are listening, that you are so fascinated with some ideas or projects. In fact, you can’t wait, when this will be finished? You will not say that you get bored. You will say that it was so useful meeting and then is time to ask questions, to show interest. 

Some situations are appropriate for playing roles. That is not hypocrisy, that is just survival. Your mask will protect your interest, but also on that way you are protecting others, you are not embarrassing them, and all are happy.

If you need to pretend in your free time, that is problem. You have special person in your life and she doesn’t like real you? Now you can’t reveal your real face, that mask will be with you forever. Maybe you need to die inside, for the sake of your partner.

Problem in human nature is in expectations. It is nice to see happy and kind face , but truth is somewhere else. We can adopt some patterns of behavior for some occasions, but we are not robots, and this schedule will have failures.

The key of happiness is in acceptance of others imperfections. Our kindness has limits, as our patience. Every person knows when is time to show real, naked truth, and when is time to hide this bomb. If we don’t have understanding, this bomb will explode in unexpected moment. Then everybody could ask, who are you and how they did not see this before. That hypocrisy was on their way, but they skipped over it.

behavior · character · drama · dreams · ego · egoism · energy · freedom · relations

Do you cry over spilled milk?

 

There is no bigger punishment than lack of time.Time is ticking like sand clock, so you will never be young again and once when you lost teeth you will not develop new. You can go to dentist to make it, but it will never be the same and natural. The same is with opportunities, if we don’t recognize them, if we don’t care for them, later all is left is crying over spilled milk.

Remember your best chances until now. Is that the moment when your boyfriend asked to marry you, and you were not ready? Is that great business offer which you rejected, because it was not time? Maybe, this is offer to travel in another country, but you could not accept it because other things were more important for you.

Why we miss some great chances?

Fear from changes.

That is unknown area. We are not satisfied now, but who knows what is in future, is that opportunity really good for us.

Habits.

You are used on your old city, old friends and old job. How to cut all this bonds and move in another city?

Fear from negative results.

It could be worse. What if i lose safe ground under my feet?

Now think about regrets. You are now sure that you did not do right, you should accept this but now is too late. Why you did not want to see before?

People cry over spilled milk because sometimes chances are in front of us when we are not ready for this. We are immature to make some changes. Maybe we are happy with present situation. Maybe we think that it will last forever, and we don’t need to do nothing to make progress.

Nigel and Linda were in relation eight years. Linda wanted to get marry, but Nigel delayed this moment. It was never right time. Nigel thought that he is too young, even he had 30. Then Linda find new flat and did not invite him to live with her. She found another guy for a six months and they get married. Nigel is still single and every time he see his ex girlfriend he is sad. He had enough time to decide, but he was like boy in playground. When game was over, he was on the bench, as football player out of  football match.

If we could turn back time, if we could load our life as movie, maybe we would act different. Life is sometimes as book we don’t understand the meaning, until we read once again. Just, we have no plenty of time to understand message of life. We got our envelope with notes but choice is ours. Maybe, sometimes we will have another chance to correct what we missed, as the flight in last minutes. This is red line, and after this door are closed.

If you want to shake someone to bring important decision, make your own earthquake. Let his ground shake as in the worst storm. That is an experiment, how much person care. If there is no results, you can leave from this situation with peaceful conscience that you tried everything. He spilled milk and you will erase this stain.

behavior · character · energy · envy · freedom · lies · life · relations

Are you aware how people feel after insults?

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The power of spoken word is endless. If you use hard words, someone will be hurt. Yes, every insult can cut you as knife and you will heal wounds for a days. Especially if that insult comes from person who is important to you.

Sometimes we are full of anger and rage. This anger flame is spreading like a virus, and we will say something ugly, maybe we did not think so, but in the moment when ugly word finds the way out, damage is done.

 

Patrick said something what he should not say. He had wonderful friend, he started to feel something for her, and she response on his feelings, but then they had conflict and Patrick acted like spoiled kid. He offended Jenny with his behavior. “You are silly, i laugh to you. You are jealous on other women.” Jenny just passed him info about his girlfriend , she found as duty to forward him what she knew, that his girlfriend is cheating him. Patrick broke up with his girlfriend but he got mad on Jenny. He even blamed her because she was messenger. Now is time of silence because Jenny doesn’t want to talk with him.

 

Insults are tools against vanity. We could have strong nerves, but everyone has a limit.

 

What kind of insults hurt the most?

bad words about physical look (you are fat, your legs are short, you have big nose)

– insults toward family (your mother is drunk, and your father is insane)

– insults about your financial situation (you are poor and loser)

– insults toward your partner ( your husband is idiot, your wife is slut)

It is easy to solve insults with fist. Black eye, blood from nose and here we are, that moron will learn on hard way. Also you can ask for an apology. Even press will notify readers about public apology, if they were published wrong details and info about famous people. Law of order and Criminal Law also have this options, public apology to damaged side.

If you can say i am sorry, i will not do it again, i regret, you will admit your mistakes. 
This is half way to correct your errors. When you are making an apology, you will do against your ego. That means, you are not the smartest and you did mistakes. Some people will never make apologies just because of ego. Why would someone admit anything he did wrong and show up weakness? It is better to stay bulletproof, even the price is high, that you can lose someone who was close and important to you.

It is not enough only to say – i am sorry. Oops, i did it again. My wife has black eye, i hit her, so i apologize from my heart.

 

When you apologized, what is next?

You will be careful not to hurt that person again.

You can buy flowers, make a compliment, take this person to dinner. Show your devotion with acts.

If that person will not forgive you, don’t be resistant. Wait for your chance .

Don’t force and cry. You did what you wanted to do. If person don’t have mercy for you, tears will not help you. Take it as lesson for next time.

Well mannered person will use words i am sorry, thanks, i regret. 
This is what your mother and father should teach you in childhood. This is not connected with ego or pride. Simply, when you are wrong, admit this. In business world you will write nice email with regards and with respect, and your business partner will accept this as part of your job. It makes you professional and people will have good impression about you. You should not be ashamed for fixing your wrong acts on this way.

Apology is as joker in your pocket. When all cards fail, apology is here as bonus. You can back into game if you apologize.

behavior · drama · egoism · energy · illusion · movie · party · relations

Intruder in my movie – which things irritate you the most in cinemas?

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I am big fan of movies. Even nowadays is popular to download movie from internet and watch it at home, cinema will be always my first choice. What happens in big screen, with special sound is incomparable with movie at home.

Every summer in my city, in Croatia is kind of event, summer movie. People watch popular films under stars, near river and in old castle with improvised screen. Take popcorn, drink beer and enjoy.

Sounds great, isn’t it? What can be more enjoyable than fresh air, sky in evening full of stars, full moon and partner next to you? Even if you hide beer in purse, as me , to complete your impression. That movie , Danish “Message in the bottle” was independent production and very exciting. As i love thrillers , indeed it was my favorite.

So, i was totally dedicated, stare in screen and suddenly felt kick in my butt. Woman behind me used my chair to put her feet, as she is watching movie in her own room. I turned on and look at in her face, in hope she will understand my grumpy hint. Few minutes later, her feet was again touching my butt. I had dress and her shoe was not welcome anyway, so i got furious, moved my chair in forward.

At the end of movie, i felt her feet again. Now, it was enough. I said her : “Why you hold your legs on my chair whole movie?” She replied: “You should tell me that it disturbs you. ” I said : ” Smart person understand hint. Did i move chair? It is matter of personal culture. ” Her friends started to laugh, and she laughed with them, so i said, with higher tone : “Fuck of. ” I was ready to slap her, and my husband waited what i will do. They became quiet. Suddenly, silence prevails. I took my purse, stand up as lady and get out from cinema . Peasant woman and her squad did not follow me.

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That made me thinking, which are the most irritating things in cinema?

Chewing during movie.

Some people bring whole meals , ready to eat and chew loudly while movie is on. Gosh, you should eat at home.

Talking on phone during movie.

Suddenly person behind me got important call. I hear “I watch movie, i will come later”, so loud, as person is alone. And conversation continue 10 minutes after.

Horny couples on visible seats.

So called love seats are in the middle, me and husband would never take such seats because they are just red, not private.

Talking about movie content in forward.

Some people watch some movie twice and talk about content. I would strangle them.

Farting and laughing loud.

Yes, some people have no manners. As they are main stars in cinema, in some freak show.

Pushing chair with legs, as they want to lay down and make bed over .

Children’s cry.

Ok, if you take your kid with you, make him quiet or show him movie at home. Screaming is not what i want to hear while i am watching movie.

Bunch of garbage under chair. 

Some people are able to left gum on your seat and you can sit on it . Have fun.

Got late on movie so you ask your sit while movie started half hour ago.

Don’t be surprised if someone send you to hell and back.

Also, don’t do to others things which you don’t want that others do to you. Human’s selfishness is familiar on such kind of events.  Such event could turn on into nightmare in your own direction.

beauty · business · career · energy · psychology · relations · sensibility

Some positive thoughts for my followers

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I wish to all my followers happy Friday.

Here I share some of my positive, inspirational thoughts which helps me in hard moments:

If you wish to survive, you will not afraid of challenge.

The biggest risk is to do nothing.

Don’t call past, there is nothing new to hear.

People who criticize you are kind of injections. Take this needle as motivation for your progress.

Don’t underestimate yourself, that is not your job. Others will try to sabotage you anyway.

Haters are just your followers from other side of mirror.

Never lose your sense for humor. Jokes might help you to survive the day.

 

For the end, this is me. My virtual friend spelled my name wrong, I am Kristina. He made this photo as sign of friendship, but he forgot to  spell it right.

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