Some positive thoughts for my followers

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I wish to all my followers happy Friday.

Here I share some of my positive, inspirational thoughts which helps me in hard moments:

If you wish to survive, you will not afraid of challenge.

The biggest risk is to do nothing.

Don’t call past, there is nothing new to hear.

People who criticize you are kind of injections. Take this needle as motivation for your progress.

Don’t underestimate yourself, that is not your job. Others will try to sabotage you anyway.

Haters are just your followers from other side of mirror.

Never lose your sense for humor. Jokes might help you to survive the day.

 

For the end, this is me. My virtual friend spelled my name wrong, I am Kristina. He made this photo as sign of friendship, but he forgot to  spell it right.

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Are you person without plans?

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When you see life as kind of game, you are playing as kid in the sand. Nothing is serious for you, because you are having good fun. Then, something happens and you will understand life on different way, more seriously. Now party is over and it is time to settle down.

Love also consists from phases. First guy you kissed maybe was your classmate in school and you will not remember him. Then, it was story of your life. Later you lost your virginity with cool man, and after that you found guy who wants to marry you . Now all before that became ridiculous.

Mine friends used to say such things about their former boyfriends:

“I was so stupid when i did calls every day and night. His mother knew my voice, i even talked with her.”

“I was hitchhiking just to see him, because he did not want to visit me.”

“I cut my hair because he prefers short hair.”

All that dramas were intro , because our experiences leads us to maturity. This is normal when you pass such things as teenager, and in thirties you are person who knows what she wants or she already got it.

Sometimes, life play cruel games, and some gifts which you supposed to get in certain period will skip you.

Which kind of people are immature in soul forever?

Man who did not kiss a girl, and he is already 30.

Woman who changed many men, and still she did not find right one, even she is already in certain ages.

People who live with parents after 30.

People who save their virginity even they are over 30.

Life is not pattern, and we are walkers through this path. Some women will never get married or have children, the same as same men. Nothing is guaranteed. When life skips over you, you are chosen to stay child in the heart and soul. You will see that something important miss you, and also you will try to replace this.

How to be happy when you did not get what you wished?

Travel around, you will see things which you never saw before.

Go on parties, football matches, birthdays, events. 

Make new friendships.

Find some hobbies.

Strange things happen when two people, who are somehow damaged, meet together. Charlie lived with parents even he was already 30. He had bad love experiences and also he was a virgin. His days were the same, he did not know when was Monday, and when was weekend because he was watching movies nightly and working daily. Then Victoria came to his city, as tourist, with travel agency. She wanted to know London and accidentally he met her in one museum. They started to talk about history and she invited him on coffee. He was confused, but he accepted. Victoria was divorced, 40 years, still attractive and she did not have children. She was cheerful as little girl. Charlie never laughed so much, they continued contact over internet when she left in her country. They were two lost souls , victims in life who skipped them. In the moment they are talking about future, how to be together , because they recognized each other.

When life pass over you, clap your hands and don’t give up to be noticed by life. Some people carry bigger burden than others. Accept this as sign that you are not ordinary. Maybe you don’t have husband or children, but you were on places where others will never be and you did things which others will never do. Life gifts are not the same for everybody. Some have different package. You are just one of the people without plans.

Temptations – demons on your way

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You made decision and that is your final word. Can you stand behind your attitude when temptation knock at your door? That is harder part. Accord experience, many circumstances will try to rock your plan. You said, i will never do it again, but then something or someone stand on your way.

No matter is your decision about love or friendship, private area is always tough task. You decided not to talk with your best friend because she hurts you. She came and cry, she will give you promise not to do it again, she offers you flowers and chocolates, just to forgive her. Then, if your heart is soft, you will give her another chance. Guess what? Probably, she will screw you again. The question is, how much you will tolerate before you can officially call yourself a fool?

If you are weak on your naughty lover, things are more harder. He will take you into bed and situation is solved, if you look at things from his angle. This is not even near to solution. He kissed you but still he is jerk able to cheat you with every woman, without regrets. He will look at your friends, even sister, in intention to show himself as fatal Casanova. Yes, he will hurt you again.

Your final decision has the biggest enemy, and that is so called temptation. Now you are on diet, but what happens when someone offers you an ice cream? Also, you swear that you will not answer on messages from your ex boyfriend, but he wrote so romantic note that you must reply to him.

What is magic formula, how to hold on your decisions and make it real?

Always check all circumstances around you. If you see anything suspicious, stay silent and wait.

Don’t trust to people who already screwed you. They need double check.

Don’t feel regret or sadness if you hurt someone who hurt you before. This is paycheck.

Jump into this situation if you have to. You will get burn and next time you will not repeat this again.

Advises are not desirable thing. I know i don’t like to listen advises, especially if i did not asked for it. Also, it is easier to judge from comfortable situation. The best adviser is person who was in your skin before. If someone passed similar or same path, listen to this person. Word final is always drastic. I know what you think, how is sad not to talk with someone again, not to give him chance. Or, how is hard to resist to temptation. This is rat race in the circle. You give chance to someone, he screws, you cry and then again. How much does it need before you felt totally exhausted from that evil demons?

Sometimes, destiny will decide instead of you. For example, Adele was crazy for Thomas, and he played with her 3 years, but when he found Isabel, he never called Adele back. In fact, he avoided her everywhere. She could win in that game when it was time, but she let him to win. She did not use her cards and Thomas used it against her.

It is hard to resist to temptations, but it is more harder to carry burden of humiliation, after you realize that someone laugh to you, behind your back. So, when you have bullets, shot. Stick on your final decisions, no matter how much it hurts. Result is joy and space for something better.

Can you recognize control freak?

 

 

Surprises are part of life. We never know what expects us today or tomorrow, we can’t predict all possible situations and changes. This unpredictable life is beautiful because opportunities are everywhere. Surprises can be good or bad, but we can’t control them.

Rhonda had awful habit to check everything around her. She would lock the door twice before she went out. She was also calling her husband anytime when he did not come at home in expected time. The worst part of her personality she shown at workplace. Her colleagues were terrified of her emails. Every mail had option of confirmation, and if someone did not replied on her email, she was yelling why they did not do it. Her dream was big umbrella , that would be shelter for all people she knew , with purpose that they act accord their wishes.

Once her son teenager went to birthday party. She called him three times to check is everything all right. At the end her son said to her: “You are really annoying. Why don’t you leave me alone? I will be drunk so much that you will call the doctor.” She really upset him.

Rhonda did not understand that she is burden for people around her. She wanted to save the world, but it was impossible mission. Her husband broke leg and she did not have power under it. It was sign that her control freak behavior is not welcomed. That was kind of alert, she did not realize that is impossible to control events and people around her.

Control freaks are possessive and obsessive people. They want kind of power and their behavior is overprotective. If person expose mother’s instinct or jealousy in large amounts, control freak is on the way. Under that behavior is fear that something bad will happen, that things will run away from expected directions and what is the worst result, we can’t stop it. What if my son get drunk? What if my husband will cheat me around, that new girl in office is gorgeous? So i will stalk him or call every hour, he will not have chance to do it.

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How other people react on control freaks? 
Nobody likes it. You can get insulted from anybody if you will try to put him in chains. This is like you want to create invisible handcuffs. Did you expect that your beloved person will give you report about his activities? You are wrong.

Don’t try to cut someone’s wings, don’t spy in private space and also if you do it, control is the worst way. 

You will get an opposite result. People will runaway from you and they will hide things in front of you. You thought that someone will give you keys into their privacy? See what happened, your trespass in other privacy got an answer. Next time when you will try to open secret door, you will find double lock.

Patience is overrated

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Mabel is taking her little daughter in the market. She always did the same scene. Bunch of chocolates are in her hands and she wants to open and eat immediately. Mabel is gentle mother and she knows that little Tara will cry if she will not get her favorite candies. But her teeth are not in well condition and too much sugar is not healthy for child. So this time she said no. Tara started to scream, and she did not shut up until Mabel slapped her. She did not hit her hard but it was useful. Tara stopped to cry and her face was just grumpy, but next time she did not ask for a candy.

Patience is wonderful thing. Some people have ocean of patience and you can move their limits into the sky. Your friend came at your door every day when you came tired from work. How to reject her, she is so kind. You want to take a nap and you said to her that she came in another time, but she said she is busy later. 

During life we will need large doses of patience. When you wait for your turn into market and moron in front of you is counting small coins or his master card is not valid. When you go to the dentist and old granny is there for an hour, without intention to get out. When your husband don’t want to throw garbage even it smells for a days. 

What to do when your patience is over limits?

You can do things which other don’t want to do for you, alone. 

Remember this when someone will ask favor from you, and don’t do it for that person, for return.

You can force person to learn on hard way. 

Use aggression if you need. Violence is not the way, but sometimes is effective when other tools will not work out.

Get out from situations which makes you frustrated. 

You don’t need friend who will not respect your free time, stalkers, pests who don’t understand your needs and wishes.

Use joker. Find person or occupation who will replace others. 

Ok, i have no luck with this job and this guy, but there are other people who loves me and i will spend more time with them. Also i have hobbies which can make me happy, i play tennis, i play bridge and there people appreciate me, so i don’t need to spend time with boyfriend or friends who are always stubborn when i ask something from them.

It is very familiar that nice words will open every door. When kindness is not more effective and when patience is at the end, another options are in the game. Time is money, and having patience means you are wasting your time. Why wait this jerk to call you and he is always getting late? Why work at this job for a years and they can’t say even thanks for all what you do for them?

When you are treating someone with patience, you give benefits to that person. He is testing your nerves. You will see how much is easier to deal with someone else, when patience will not be even option. Someone who will do things for you without you even ask. How easier is now, when someone do special things for you, and you don’t have to spend hours and nerves to get what you want?

People are as ground. You can seed everywhere, but flowers will not grow in dry landscape. 

Do you let your past to define you?

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It is hard to stand up after defeat and bad experience. Also, this make you as easy target for gossips. Someone brags about you to your friends and it is not always pleasant to hear. Every smart person will create own opinion and use brain to check the fact. But, others may be suspicious  and you can lose their trust.

As much we are familiar with someone, others will have less influence on our perception. Nobody can persuade you that your sister or mother is bad, because you live with them and that is your blood. Also you will cover your ears if someone talks bad about your husband. 

Well, what will be your reaction if you hear bad things about person you don’t know well?

It depends about background of this situation.

Who is your source?

Did you hear something similar before?

Did you hear from more people the same thing?

New people may be refreshment in our life, but also this is risk factor. New girl at your workplace, new neighbor, new man in your life. Who are they and from where are they come from?

Norman heard much bad things about his new girlfriend. Boys talked that she is easy, and girls gossiped her as bad friend who is stealing other’s lovers. Despite of all, Norman gave her chance and she did not betrayed him. Norman just gave her trust and she felt obligation to return him on equal way. Later, she explained bad stories about her, she just involved with wrong people. Norman pressed this right buttons. He was indeed her inspiration and she never regret to give him chance and let him into her life.

When we give access to someone new , we will ask these questions:

Am i fool? She will screw me, i can suppose that.

Can i effort myself to suffer again?

How can i handle more pains?

Life is as house, so if we close all doors, there will not be more visitors. No matter how much pains you had, your heart should not be locked. Leave this small piece which is not destroyed yet, to someone who will deserve this. 

Or you will suffer, as Gordon.

Gordon is familiar as distrustful man. He is indeed paranoid. Every woman is potential threat. So, he thinks that woman will steal him money, cheat him and leave him, because women are created to hurt his fragile heart. His mother spoiled him, because he was her first child. Later, Gordon saw that other women are not ready to please to all his wishes, and he stayed disappointed in life. Then he met Jasmine. She really loved him, but Gordon left bad impression from the start. He heard from someone that Jasmine cheated his ex husband and it was enough to woke up his doubts. As much Jasmine tried to deserve his trust, Gordon should not get rid of past shadows. So, his behavior made her to leave him. 

Our past experience should not be obstacle in the way of our future. Imagine that you travel in unknown country, and you read about criminals in local newspaper, so you will expect that someone will rob you or kill you during your journey. Every man with grumpy face will be considered as possible murderer. 

Once, when you finish with past, don’t compare your previous sadness with new situations. Don’t make new seed of doubts, without real reasons. There is no need to blow on cold. What happened behind your back is not your business. You and your past split a long time ago. If someone reminds you on past times, walk away from that person. Surround yourself with those who are able to look forward. It is better to run and fall, then to stand in one place, frozen as snowman. 

How to deal with crises?

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Black thoughts – that is familiar to all of us. Life brings us moments where we don’t see way out. Bad events are connected in chain, so sometimes you will be in kind of temptation. You are experimental rabbit, so can you handle this?

Scott lost his job and broke with girlfriend in the same time. Then he got sick and depressed. He would get up in the morning, drink cup of coffee and it was all what he could do. The rest of time he was staring in the window, like he expects high forces to help him. He was not even religious, so he hoped that some alien will come on Earth , with space ship to bring him out of here. Scott went to the gym to make his body more strong. He did not find friends here, guys were pretentious, they had muscles and Scott was skinny like girl. Then he invited his friend to go out, but he was too busy and he could not promise him when this will happen. Maybe never.

So days were passing, Scott could not find a new job, girls were rejecting him and he became suicidal. He drink pills but not enough to kill himself, he was just vomit. Then he cut himself but he was not enough brave to cut deeper. His mother saw that something is wrong with him, so she said this:

“I don’t want to cry with you or to judge you. Life is sometimes cruel. But, do you really want that others laugh to you? It is easy to give up from everything. I remember different guy, now i don’t know who you are.”

Scott was sad and furious. Mother has right. He throw all pills into toilet, all bottles of alcohol in garbage box and he run again into the gym. He was exercising one hour every day  and sweating until he felt better. One day he met his old friend Glen, who also joined in the gym. Glen said : “Buddy, you look stronger. How much time you spent here?” After that they went to drink beer and talk about old days. 

Day by day Scott feels how he is progressing. In the moment he needs to make decision about job, he got some positive answers on his appeals. Girls start to notice him and he had few dates.

When you drown into black hole, it is so easy to let it go. 

Why you will not give up?

If you give up, others will laugh to you. Do you want to see how they laugh and call you loser?

Others will pity for you. Human sympathy is killer of pride and dignity.

You will never have chance to woke up and see how situation is changing.

Who can’t handle defeat, doesn’t deserve to drink champagne after victory. This path is full of thorns.

Black days are challenges. Life is not smooth ground, that you can dance with favorite music. Sometimes, life creates terrible rattle and noise. You must face it with this.

Who are your best friends in troubles?

People who will give you critics.

People who will tell you to face it with reality.

People who will not sit and cry with you. They can be even harsh or slap you.

You need a hand if you are sinking, but this safe belt is not your savior. The most things you will do alone, when you find energy refill inside of you. If you think that fake promises or hopes will help you, you are wrong. Sometimes, person who yells at you is your best friend. Look yourself in the mirror and admit that you are loser in the moment. This is just present, tomorrow you will wake up as winner, if you accept one condition. You should not give up.

Today is rain, but sun will shine tomorrow or in the future. Until you wait for the sun, help yourself with own umbrella.

What happens during marriage crises?

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Marriage is holy connection with partner, insurance of your love. This person belongs too you and ring is symbol of dedication. What happens when this ring doesn’t mean nothing and when signature on formal papers is just a formal letter, without worthiness?

Young Croatian tennis player Donna Vekić recently became subject of gossips. Accord press, she is guilty for broken marriage . She is new girlfriend of Stanislas Wawrinka, 30 years old  swiss tennis player.

His marriage came to the end and now many blame young and pretty Donna, that she is the main causer of disaster.

Typical opinion of moral policy is against woman in this triangle. Many will pull trigger on Donna, because she is 18 and she should not involve with married man. How many will blame Stanislas , who declared divorce from 10 year older wife? His explanation is, he wants to be free again.

Married men pass through crises.

It  happens on next ways:

He wants to go out with friends more often.

He wants space for himself.

He would like to meet new women.

He wish to divorce, because he wants to be free again.

It is easy to judge young girl, when it comes to disaster. His wife is older 10 years than him, and now he meets beautiful young girl. That girl is inexperienced and life is maybe only game for her, but shall we hang her because she was in the middle of marriage disaster? This is hypocrisy of society, to blame woman for all. It takes two for dance, so nobody forced this guy to hangout with Donna. She could give him signs and seduce him, but if he truly loved his wife, her odds would not be good. He would maybe use her for one night stand and make it secret. That is how some men do, when they want everything, good wife and hot mistress. 

It is not possible to be free as single man if you are in marriage. You took some responsibility and obligations. Married man who is dating with other women is just a jerk. Sooner or later someone will see him and then it will be beginning of the end. Wife will blame other women, because that is easier. You can’t kill bitch because she is younger, more slim or more pretty than you are. You must ask yourself, why your husband lost interest for you? Is there anything to keep you together in this marriage?

Even you have ring on your finger, it could be on fire when you reveal that your husband is prince charming for some other girls. You can slap her or spit on her, but husband will escape anyway, if there was nothing left to keep you together more.

How Cupid fails?

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Cupid picks his victims randomly. You don’t know to whom you will fall in love, and suddenly his arrow hits you in the middle of heart. Do you think that person will be handsome, smart and rich guy? Do you think he will love you back? No, that is not guarantee. He can be average or even ugly. He is maybe poor and nasty. If he doesn’t love you back, you can’t blame him either.

We are responsible for our choices, but how to explain this to your heart? Some of us will never recover from unhappy love story. Before 11 years, Croatian actress Edita Majić made decision to become a nun. She settles down in Spanish monastery, as  nun with high level of discipline. She had problems with drugs and her love story had bad end. Now she says, she is very happy.

What can happen after your sad love story?

You wish to escape from this world. Some will make suicide.

You wish that you never see person who broke your heart again.

You will stop to believe in love and maybe this is root of promiscuous life in future.

You start to hate opposite gender. Maybe you wish to be gay or lesbian.

We can fall in love so many times. Sparks are eternal, so physical attraction is possible with many persons. When we talk about love , story is different. If you loved someone deeply, it will be hard to replace this person. In any way, if you love more times, this story will never be the same. Beloved person will leave track in your soul and if you start to compare your present partner with your lost love, problems are already here.

What if you never had courage to admit your love? Maybe you felt that is impossible or that you are less worthy. Maybe your soulmate is far away, taken or you can’t fit her into your reality. In this case, why don’t to swim in ruthless sea of love? Even you are aware of negative result, you can be richer for one experience.

Owen fall in love in Helen, but she was ten years older than he. She accepted his offer for relation, but he could not bear burden of his prejudices. Whatever wrong happened, he blamed her. She get out of this with scarves. He was also suffering, but not for the same reasons. He was victim of own insecurities, complexes and immature attitude.

Some people act as they will marry every person which they meet. That is not the point of love. Sometimes, we just enjoy without plans. We are here to learn , to have background for sweet memories. We can’t blame someone who gave us beautiful lesson about love. Maybe that partner was not suitable, but heart has own standards. 

The worst you can do is to talk bad about previous relation and about person who loved you. It is like you hit diamond through your window, into garbage. 

This is how your ex should talk about you and you about him, if you did not hurt each other too much:

” I am happy i spent wonderful time with such special person. Even we are not together anymore, i wish you all the best in your life.”

Why smart women pick bad guys?

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She is pretty, smart and successful. She is well educated and from good family. Yet, she constantly pick wrong men and on that way leaves impression as she is stupid woman. Her emotional intelligence falls down when she is dating a guy. 

Do you know such women? Maybe she is your friend, sister or someone you care about. She is in relation with men who doesn’t deserve her, but he is not first man she failed. Simply, her choice is disaster.

People wonder why some smart women can’t read bad guys and why they finish in bad relations. Why they are humiliated, abused , damaged by guys who are under their level. By default, they have all terms for great romance. Still, they pick guy who make them miserable.

The answer is : adrenaline. This feeling when your blood pressure raise and heart beats faster because he is near you. You will ask, why good guy can’t give you adrenaline you wish?

If you are this type, there are 80% chances that you will date bad guy:

Problematic childhood.

Woman was bullied, abused by men. Unsolved trauma left scarves, she will face with bad guy to make final fight with her past.

Teacher syndrome.

She is smart, but her ego thinks she can change him for a better. So she pick guys who are less educated, less stable, much younger or maybe in conflict with law.

She is not ready for commitment.

Some women will fear of marriage and children. Her conscience doesn’t want obligation. Randomly, she will chose guy who is not marriage type.

Hot tempered woman.

She likes fights, discussions, conflicts. She feels alive during quarrel. 

She likes challenges.

Bad guy is good example for challenges. He despise authorities and doesn’t care for society rules.

An opposite to general beliefs of bad luck, this kind of woman is not someone without luck. She was born to meet with someone who will make her unhappy, because her roots and her DNA invited him. You are what your thoughts do to you. 

This is how this looks like, when woman X talked about her type of guy:

I despise boredom. I will not gave birth to child, i don’t want wash dishes and clean. I want sex every day. I want to be always in love. “

The solution would be in the middle. Such woman in youth has chances to pass through many experiences. After 10 or 15 years, she will get a point. She will understand that adrenaline is not sourced only in bad guys. When good guy wants to leave you because you don’t appreciate his love toward you, your fear will raise until the end. This kind of adrenaline, you might lose someone who is your great partner will make you think. 

Woman who was once on bad path will ask herself does she want to pass again in this road. If she is really smart, she will not.

Smart woman will get sober when her bad guy breaks relation with her, because of other woman, who is under her level. Now, he chose her, and she is so ordinary, not glamorous, not educated, but she got him, right? And you can get everyone you want but you wanted him, because he did not get you serious.