A man who uses every opportunity

 

If you are one of those women who think that your man will change, you are wrong. Even if it is, you are not the one who will change him. He will be changed by own decision or circumstances in life, or he will stay the same, but with another skin.

When man has ability as chameleon, he is step forward. He can be ready for all surprises and he will be able to rule with all situations.

Amanda was rich daughter and her parents were masters in small city. She was cocky, glamorous and somehow cruel, so many men were afraid to approach her. Hugh was poor guy without parents, he was earning for life by fixing cars and motorbikes, and he lived in rented flat. They met in gym and Amanda captured his eyes at first moment, when she was exercising at Treadmill, by guidance on her coach. Hugh involved in their conversation and give her few advices, how to keep form. Amanda was interested for this rude guy, because he did not care for nice manners and he was not impressed by her at all. At least, he didn’t show this immediately. She was the one who asked him to drink coffee together. The rest was history, Hugh became member of rich family in period of one year.

Her father did not accept Hugh so easily, so he got task to open his private business, with his help and investment. Hugh was under magnifier of whole family, so he learnt few foreign languages just to please them, he learnt to eat on fancy way and to dance and play golf. Amanda could say that she changed him , but it was not true. When she was not near him, Hugh was again in his favorite pub with drinking buddies, and easy waitress.

CpHma3GVYAAGQDX

Women are used to say : 

“I learnt him how to act decent. His mother did not do good job in childhood.”

“I changed him, he is not looking at other women anymore.”

“I forced him to leave his idiot friends. They had bad influence on him. “

“He is now under my control.”

All this are misleads. Men will do what they like, you only think that you are creator of their new life. They stopped with old ways because they got tired and it became useless for them. Maybe they hide their old habits and they come back in old life from time to time. This is something you can’t know.

Advertisements

How people lie at first date?

C6wJHuVWoAMlsiZ

Truth is naked, and lies are well dressed. Do we always want to hear naked truth, without imagination, just straight into face?

There are so called white lies, sweet ways to avoid truth or to make truth more beautiful, with some updates.

Men and women use different lies. When we start to know special person, we want to expose ourselves in best edition.

Men wish to expose themselves as brave heroes, rich entrepreneurs or candidate for stable relation, so they add some stories to their CV.

 

Men will say:

 

1. i have fast car

 

2. i have well paid job and good education from university

 

3. i was with many women, all were crazy for me, but you are special

 

4. i travel around world

 

5. i have very good business connection, my boss indeed eat from my hands

6. i broke teeth of some bad guys

What is the truth?

 

1. i stuck between credits for my car and house, i will be without money soon

2. i hate my job but i need it to survive

3. i am looser because all my ex broke up with me, or i don’t have much experience in love, i am virgin, i had only 2 women in my life etc.

4. i was never outside of my country

5. really i am intruder and nobody at my work don’t even notice me

6. i runaway from hooligans

 

So, if you had first date, what would you prefer? To know naked truth about guy who is indeed looser, or sweet lies ? That guy must have good insurance that you will wish to see him again.

 

Well he lies about his car, about his salary, maybe even about size of his penis and his skills in bed. But maybe you will found out that he is creative and able to deal with every situation, so it will be your challenge. On other hand, guy who represent himself as looser will be denied on first step. Imagine you met guy who says :”I live with my mother , she is retired and paralyzed and she gives me money for survival, i had no sexual experience during 3 years, and i am dying to see you again.”

 

Nobody likes despair, so it will be turn off. Real truth is somewhere in the middle. We women are asking for potential, ambitious guy who will show courage to deal with hard reality. Even we can forgive him lies later if he is able to change his present life.

 

Women like to represent themselves as pure so they will lie about number of sex partners. Also they will lie about ages, natural look and relations.

How women say lies?

 

1. i had sex only with one guy 

 

2. i am 20 or 25 year old (in fact 30-40)

 

3. my color of hair is natural

 

4. i don’t use much makeup

 

5. lies about weight and height are also on the top, high heels and belly belt will do good  deception , so woman can look slimmer or taller

6. i rejected many guys cause i am picky


What is the truth?


1. i slept with few guys before you

2. i am not so young

3. my hairdresser is responsible for my styling

4.  i will not get out from house without lipstick

5. i was on many diets

6. there is a long time since someone invited me at date

Women will lie with clothes, makeup, even with tears. What would guys prefer? To see woman without makeup on first date, without fancy clothes, and that she admit to him her sexual experience? “Yes, i slept with two best friends, i had few one night stands, but that is a life.”

 

Men doesn’t want to get rid of his vision about innocent women so fast. They want sleeping beauty from fairy tales, and later she can expose her real truth.

So, yes, truth is honest , but lies are here to protect us – at least at the beginning.

When is time to stay quiet?

C9M28nJXkAAtKqW

Do you know when is good to stay silent? When is time to shut up not because someone told you this, just because this is better for you.

If you are professional you will know how to avoid conflict with boss. 

Smile and say yes , then leave the office and do it on your way.

Make a blink with your eyes that you understand the point and don’t make further discussion.

Say that you did mistake and that next time will be better. 

Even silence might look as personal defeat, this is very wise skill for victory. This brings good results in personal relationships, in friendships and marriage.

I always thought that my neighbor is not so intelligent when she claps hands on her husband’s actions. He was grumpy, hasty man with harsh voice. Earthquake would be good name for him, because Earth was spinning when he started to yell. She would listen to him with smile on her face, until he finished his speech. Then she would say : “Ok dear, now you will drive me in shopping. ” This man would do this, on my surprise. He had feeling that he is a boss, but indeed he was Samson and she was Delilah. She was sneaky and toady, and he was fair but rough.

Silence is cuddle for ego. If you listen what other person has to say to you, you give her chance to talk. If you don’t push yourself in first plan, you show to the other person that she is a boss. After person sleeps in her victory, it is your turn to look forward your points. Smart woman will avoid battlefield and after storm passes, she will ask for husband what she needs.

We are not the same and not everyone nerves are strong. This skill is good for calm, phlegmatic characters. If you are hasty and hot tempered, as me, you will have to pretend. This is not easy but sometimes is good to get your score.

For me is the hardest thing to say i am sorry, i apologize, i do wrong. I bite my tongue, squeeze my teeth and swallow all poison. Next time i must get satisfaction on other way because this is not me.

It helps at work where people are hypocrites. They will say nice things to you and gossip you under back. You will know this and instead to attack them you will smile and say that your boss has good haircut today or that your colleague did great work.

This is like in Alan Ford , when you see cloud over head where is gun and you will imagine how to shot someone in this could, but indeed you will smile and say nice things as part of your strategy.

Summer romance

Ce07AwUUIAE93lv

When you eat ice cream, you are focused on sweet taste. This enjoyment is under deadline, so it will melt if you don’t eat fast, and when meal is finished, you will not think about this anymore. The same thing is with summer romances.
Summer is special part of year, when everyone wish to be sexy, beautiful and in love. Vacations at sea are the most popular, and people will argue at work about free days. This is a chance to get tanned, to make better shape of your body and to catch some moments of passion. Later, you will remember days when you were party queen or when you break someone’s heart. Your Facebook profile and your cell phone will remind you how dangerous seductress you were , and this photos will be basic of your self esteem.
If you are woman with real expectations, you will remember summer romance as something relaxing and sweet, but you will close that memory box with first fallen leaves. Now is autumn, rain is falling, your swimsuit is on the bottom of your wardrobe and you got some kilograms. You closed this chapter.
Well, not everyone is the same, so summer romance will not die, if actors of this story want to make plans for future.
Before you wish to continue your hot love story, here are some things you must have on your mind:
Did he gave you phone number, or at least you can find him on internet pages?
 
He called you few days after you traveled home?
 
He wanted to find you, so he asked your friends about you?
 
He went to your city, by “accident”?
 
He invited you to visit him?
If you can answer with yes, your romance has potential to last more than one summer. If you don’t live in same city or even in the same country, things will be tough and only the most resistant couples will survive. Remember, this will take efforts from both sides.
Annabelle was incredible romantic girl. Movie “Notebook” made her cry and she watched this several times. When she fall in love during her summer vacation in Greece, her friends were not surprised. She crushed in handsome Greek guy Kostas. During that two weeks they were two pigeons. Friends were joking that they look as Siam twins. When vacation finished, Annabelle cried every day. Kostas sent her a lot of messages first days. As time was passing by, that messages became rarity. Annabelle called him, she wanted to communicate with him at Skype, but he had excuse that he hates social networks and that his job is very hectic because he works overtime.
One day Annabelle got message from her friend Wendy. Wendy revealed Facebook page, and guy at photos was very similar to Kostas. Annabelle confirmed, it was Kostas, but not alone, he was hugged by attractive girl. Under photo was title : “Kostas and Maria together forever. ” So she supposed that Kostas is in long relation, and that he was cheating his girlfriend with her. She felt as piece of trash. In the moment of rage, she sent him message with middle finger, but it did not help her to feel better. Kostas ignored her, as she never existed.

Ray of sun, sea waves, handsome guys at the beach, music at open air party. Sparks are everywhere, and you connect with him just like that.

He is as ice cream, sweet taste, but with deadline. You don’t have to regret because this happened. Summer romance is just one hot chapter in your life book. This connection was born in special circumstances, when you were maybe drunk, alone or hungry of passion.

Real love is flexible, it has adjustment in space and time. It will not last till the end of some party on the beach.

How strong is connection with your family?

 

I suppose that everyone of you got sweet promise about something what will last for lifetime. Eternal friendship, sisterhood or love, words said in the moment of enchanting feelings, secret pledge about forever. We all feel that when someone makes our life so beautiful. You made love with this woman and you will say that she will be yours forever. Your friend impressed you by his loyalty and you feel as you owe him. If you have rational mind, you will put reserve into your words. Instead of “I will love you forever”, rational words should be ” I will try to make you happy, as long as i could.”

Our paths are different. One mother gave birth to daughters, two sisters. She could not gave them guarantee that life will make them happy. Sometimes, one girl will have easier path than other girl. This is a test, how much this circumstances will have influence on their future connection.

Sarah and Tilda were grown up together. They borrowed each other clothes, they went to night club as teenagers, and they were even sleeping in the same bed as kids. It was four year differences between them. One event changed them both and labelled their relation. Sarah got married in 23. She met this guy, got pregnant and he propose her. It was love on first sight, and marriage was suddenly, as thunder. During that marriage Sarah got more children, one more boy and girl. Tilda stayed unmarried, until 41, she share flat with her boyfriend, who did not propose her yet. Nothing strange on first sight, but Sarah lost her feeling for sister. Her family became center of everything. Her husband and three kids occupied all free time, and Sarah was cold even toward her parents. During years, parents and Tilda were in the role of bank. When Sarah needed money, she called them for financial help. They felt unpleasant because Sarah was often moody, and she did not offer them drink or food when they visited her. They complaint, but Sarah did not understand what is wrong. Her reply was : “I did not sleep, i have a family, they made me crazy. I can’t breath from them.”

As we grow up, our priorities are changing. We will have less time for our parents, and our focus will be on people who share life with us. You can’t have dirty dishes because your mother wants to drink coffee with you, so you will clean your flat before you accept her invitation. You can’t leave your son who got flu, because your mother wants to go in theater with you.

Just, think about, should you erase your past bonds because you are now mother and wife?

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes nasty. When Greta got divorced, she needed help of her mother. She was financially broken and without flat. She was almost on the street, because her husband kick her out. She did not visit her mother 5 years, but when that day came, she had no choice. Her mother accepted her, because it is her daughter. Greta felt so embarrassed. This was enough for her mother, she wanted that her daughter feel guilt.

C-5_Q7KWAAQ3Q6n

What can happen with our past, with life we lived before?

Our parents could be ill.

They can stay without money or in big debts.

You might need your parents or relatives, because you can get into trouble, as divorce.

When we do some changes, it is like we build house. We can’t crush the basic because we bought new furniture. Where will this furniture fit in, if there is no room?

Our parents could be great reminders for life problems. They passed all before, they can give good tips if you ask them. Your mother knows very well how to cook good lunch or how to deal with man in middle crises. Also, just because your sister is unmarried, it doesn’t mean that she has no idea about life. She can be good helper for your children, not just in a role of bank. What if she suddenly earn big money, do you think she will remember you, if you treat her as stranger? Maybe you will need job, and she will not help you because you did not invite her into your new life.

Blood connection is connection from birth. We should all respect our parents, sisters or relatives. When you see photo of family gathering, this is image of respect, devotion and love. One day you will be old too, and your children might forget you, if you don’t teach them how to cherish blood connection for a lifetime.

Who deserves second chance?

20708271_1630423130363744_4872188404613045602_n.jpg

 

Fool me once, mistake is yours. Fool me twice, or for a third time, mistake is mine. People are not robots, so everyone can do something bad to other person. No matter if you miss to do something good or you did bad thing, you made mistake. Now this is open space for another chance.

When you give another chance , your heart is opened to forgiveness. Forgive, forget and give new opportunity because we are all from flesh and blood. What is indeed second chance? This is benefit and we can’t splash it again. Inside of that second chance is also an alert , if you fool me again, this is forever.

Heart is soft and there is big space for forgiveness. Sweet words are melting poison, and person can cross us with promises and lies. Second, third or forth chance, who care, if he forgot first time, he will do it again. So, when you use second chance as expanded background for more bad activities, this happens in bad purpose.

Think about to whom you will give second chance. Will you exterminate lies and fake promises from the same person if you give this chance again?

74a2d-img_1934

Heather and Mona were friends for a long time. That friendship ended up when Heather start to date with Mona’s ex boyfriend Paul. They broke up before a month, and Heather jumped into that relation without notify her friend. Mona did not accepted it well so she avoided Heather for a years. She was hurt because her heart was still suffering, and Heather put knife there with her decision to date with Paul. Few years later Heather met Mona at the street and they talked about past times. She was not with Paul anymore and she wanted another chance. Mona accepted her again, she missed her old friendship. After some time, Mona saw mysterious sms on the phone of her husband. Now she was happily married and she trusted to him. That sms was from Heather, she wanted to drink coffee with Mona’s new husband. All doubts went back. Mona kicked her out forever. Her husband denied invitation from Heather, and Mona regret why she allow to herself to mess with Heather again. She was not indeed worthy of try.

When we give someone another chance, this decision can’t develop over night. Why this person did not use first chance? Why we are now in situation that we need another proof of loyalty and devotion? It would be easier to erase this person from life, to give opportunity to someone new.

It is easier to trust someone new, because we start from the beginning. 

There are no glitch from the past. We don’t see tail from past mistakes. Man was drinking alcohol and lose his job. Now, after rehab, he start to work again, and he drink again. Maybe, under pressure of new chance, he will mistake again. Second chance can be burden for those who are starting the same path again. It is like you repeat the same class, once you failed, and you are tense because of past experiences.

If someone did mistake, think about intention behind it. Maybe that person did not know about consequences. Maybe this is just indolence. In that case we can forgive, with warning that this is the last chance.

Second chance is not invitation for third or forth chance. This is yellow card, as in football. You are still in, but if you mistake again, you are out forever.

Why men should stand behind their women?

Basic instinct of every man is to care for his woman. Either to bring her food or drink, either to protect her from another men. Mature man will know how to face it with some jackass who wish to stole their girlfriend, but young guys will be in dilemma, how to protect their honor and not to hurt their better half with aggressive behavior.

I heard story about this topic from my friend. He went to date with younger girl and they visited night club. While he was in toilet, she was in the corner, dancing and waiting for him. Suddenly, other guy approached her and offered her drink. She accepted. When my friend came back, his girlfriend was chatting and drinking cocktail with unknown guy. He reacted impulsive, he wanted to get out and fight with the competition. But, when that other guy accepted invitation , he suddenly gave up. My friend explained this : “Why to beat somebody because my girl accepted his drink? She should not accept this because she came with me. At least, she pretended that i am not here.  “

The biggest problem you will ever have with men is when you do things under their back. Of course, you are not his dog and he can’t put you on leash, but you need to share trust with him. If you are with him, why to flirt with others, even in front of his eyes?

I remember situations when i was waiting my husband to bring me beer. Guys sometimes approached to me, to check am i alone, with friends, or boyfriend. I would smile and show that i am not alone and always rejected drinks. I am not poor and can buy my own drink. When you accept drink from stranger, this is invitation for talk. So, he broke ice and now you are available for him, no matter even you are not single. When you go out with your partner, you will not be all the time together with him. This is normal, he will go to toilet, say hello to his friends, bring you drink. You will say hello to your friends. You are not his sticker, and sometimes it may cause confusion, because guys are trying to catch some free woman. If you are attractive, chances are bigger that you might get into trouble.

Once i saw beautiful girl in night club, she was dancing alone while her partner was sitting at the stairs. He was not interested for techno dance, so he was just watching from the main floor. Guys were approaching her, one by one, to talk, even to be rejected, just to try. She was kind but cold. It was professional kindness, i could almost read this “do not disturb” title on her face.

On other hand, which guy will threat to other guy, who only tried to get attention? If rival is decent, if he knows limits, there is no problem with word no. If you have bad luck, you will meet someone as Joe. Joe was guy i used to know. He adores dance, and he was spinning around every girl on the floor. He did not even ask is girl without partner. So he got some punches in the face.

Sometimes, girl will cause incident, just to feed her ego.
If you are not that guy who will fight as Steven Segal, she will call you pussy or sissy. You need to use common sense if you wish to punch other guy, is he really deserved this? What if he is her boss from work or just nerd from school who wanted to remain her on exam?

Now, in which situation is necessary to start fight?

When other guy doesn’t give up from flirt with your girlfriend.

When other guy pushed you. So he already started.

When other guy insulted your girlfriend.

When other guy try to kiss your girlfriend.

In this world, not everyone is gentleman. Some men are jerks and it is hard to explain that woman in short skirt  is not available for everyone. She dressed up for her partner, not for everyone in the club. She did not want to challenge you, she wanted to be pretty for her partner. Glass of alcohol, angry guy and fight can start. Are you bodyguard with licence or you just slapped wrong guy, who only wanted to say hello to your girlfriend?