What happens on date from nightmare?

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It is first date and you want to hear good impression about yourself. Think before speak, and when you speak behave yourself. It is very different situation when you sit in front of person which you don’t know well. You can use profanity if you meet with your best friend because he got used to it. Well, if you say “hello hootie” to girl on first date, you will be labelled as jerk. In this case girl might feel cheap or as your number, and you sound as someone without manners.

Young guys are often not aware that girls are sensitive, and what sounds as joke could be bad echo in their ears, as mocking.

What she doesn’t want to hear?

– you look fat in this skirt

– these boots look cheap

– there is something in your breath, did you eat garlic for dinner?

– you remind me on my ex girl

– can you pay this bill, i have no enough money for tonight

Also, girls sometimes not understand that man is not their therapist, mother or shoulder for crying.

 


What he doesn’t want to hear?

I have so painful period, i bleed so much.

– Do you like my makeup?

– What type of car you drive? 

– My ex boyfriend is here, i feel so nervous.

– Do you think i am pretty?

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This is story from real life.

Sandra and Darren went to date and he took her out of the city. This was small coffee bar with so loud folk music that she did not hear what he is talking. They waited for a waiter for a half hour and they were not alone, because Darren met his best friend with girlfriend so they shared table with them. That girl provoked Sandra that Darren is indeed womanizer and that he will not be faithful to her. She said she was joking, but Sandra felt very unpleasant.

Second date never happened.

If you wish to avoid date from nightmare:

be alone with your partner

– don’t talk about ex 

– try to choose quiet place 

– focus on her or him

– don’t look at your cell phone every 10 minutes

– don’t stare in every good looking person around

You want to arrange second date, isn’t it? Think about things you said because first date can be the last if you do many mistakes.

Some people are flexible and they will forgive mistakes, but next time they will look at you with doubts. First impression doesn’t come twice and you can’t fix it. You might learn what you do wrong, so next partner will have more luck.

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How people lie at first date?

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Truth is naked, and lies are well dressed. Do we always want to hear naked truth, without imagination, just straight into face?

There are so called white lies, sweet ways to avoid truth or to make truth more beautiful, with some updates.

Men and women use different lies. When we start to know special person, we want to expose ourselves in best edition.

Men wish to expose themselves as brave heroes, rich entrepreneurs or candidate for stable relation, so they add some stories to their CV.

 

Men will say:

 

1. i have fast car

 

2. i have well paid job and good education from university

 

3. i was with many women, all were crazy for me, but you are special

 

4. i travel around world

 

5. i have very good business connection, my boss indeed eat from my hands

6. i broke teeth of some bad guys

What is the truth?

 

1. i stuck between credits for my car and house, i will be without money soon

2. i hate my job but i need it to survive

3. i am looser because all my ex broke up with me, or i don’t have much experience in love, i am virgin, i had only 2 women in my life etc.

4. i was never outside of my country

5. really i am intruder and nobody at my work don’t even notice me

6. i runaway from hooligans

 

So, if you had first date, what would you prefer? To know naked truth about guy who is indeed looser, or sweet lies ? That guy must have good insurance that you will wish to see him again.

 

Well he lies about his car, about his salary, maybe even about size of his penis and his skills in bed. But maybe you will found out that he is creative and able to deal with every situation, so it will be your challenge. On other hand, guy who represent himself as looser will be denied on first step. Imagine you met guy who says :”I live with my mother , she is retired and paralyzed and she gives me money for survival, i had no sexual experience during 3 years, and i am dying to see you again.”

 

Nobody likes despair, so it will be turn off. Real truth is somewhere in the middle. We women are asking for potential, ambitious guy who will show courage to deal with hard reality. Even we can forgive him lies later if he is able to change his present life.

 

Women like to represent themselves as pure so they will lie about number of sex partners. Also they will lie about ages, natural look and relations.

How women say lies?

 

1. i had sex only with one guy 

 

2. i am 20 or 25 year old (in fact 30-40)

 

3. my color of hair is natural

 

4. i don’t use much makeup

 

5. lies about weight and height are also on the top, high heels and belly belt will do good  deception , so woman can look slimmer or taller

6. i rejected many guys cause i am picky


What is the truth?


1. i slept with few guys before you

2. i am not so young

3. my hairdresser is responsible for my styling

4.  i will not get out from house without lipstick

5. i was on many diets

6. there is a long time since someone invited me at date

Women will lie with clothes, makeup, even with tears. What would guys prefer? To see woman without makeup on first date, without fancy clothes, and that she admit to him her sexual experience? “Yes, i slept with two best friends, i had few one night stands, but that is a life.”

 

Men doesn’t want to get rid of his vision about innocent women so fast. They want sleeping beauty from fairy tales, and later she can expose her real truth.

So, yes, truth is honest , but lies are here to protect us – at least at the beginning.

Why some women so desperately want marriage?

Serbian basketball player Miloš Teodosić recently got tempted offer from beautiful pin up girl Nataša Šavija. Girl saw his photos in newspaper, also she heard that he is famous, so she sent him public message : “I want to marry for you and to wash, iron and clean for you. I will give a birth to 5 children, all for you. ” Many men would imagine himself as her husband, but Miloš answered : “I want girl with brain, so get marry for someone else and give him five children . “

His reaction was a bit harsh, but he sent clear message that he doesn’t want pushy woman who will be with him just because of his glory. If he was carpenter, would she offer herself so openly? That is in fear of many men, that they will find girlfriend who wish their money and who will marry just to have wealth and children.

As much women are afraid that their man is not ready for marriage and children, men are afraid that they found bachelorette.

Who is bachelorette and how to recognize her?

Bachelorette is woman who know that she wants to marry before 25 or 30 years, but she doesn’t know who is her husband yet. Also, if she doesn’t manage with her plan in this period, she will make her standards lower and get marry in late thirties, for man who wish to get marry with her.

How to recognize bachelorette?

She will talk very early about her wedding gown, place for marriage and children. Maybe even after two months of relation.

She will talk about events, not so much about you.

She will make ultimatums with deadlines. 

She will talk about her friends who got married, and compare her relation with others.

She will introduce you to her parents and relatives very soon, You must get know your future family.

Women got surprised when their perfect match slips away. Also, they don’t understand that is their contribution. For sure, you can’t wait your husband for lifetime, but force is also not good idea. You are not product to offer herself with your values. Your partner has eyes and ears and he will make perception about you. Sometimes, you are simply not what he is looking for.

Here are one of the most often mistakes which women do:

I am beautiful, and nobody will reject me. So i will easy find husband.

I am beautiful so i must ask only rich and handsome husband.

I must marry until i am pretty because time is my enemy.

My mother and father will help me to find future husband. 

I don’t need to work because i will get marry for rich man.

I must push him a little, because men in generally don’t know what they wish in life.

I will get pregnant so he must marry me.

Probably Miloš smells the same trap when Nataša gave him offer. He felt like slave in slave trade. Where is his freedom of choice in this case? In modern times, women will more often use their charm to get marry, before partner propose them. This is kick in manhood, because man is the one who decide about marriage. Man will decide because he loves you, not because you are pretty, pregnant or famous. It doesn’t really matter if other thinks that you are perfect woman for him. What he thinks about you is more relevant.

Man who is in life crossroad needs space. Will he get marry or not, it doesn’t depends of bachelorette in his life. It depends about him. In Brazil, women will reject men few times, just to be sure will he try again. Unpredictable situations are better, when woman is the one who needs to say yes or no. So guy is waiting, nervous and sweaty, what will she say about his proposal. When man feels fear of losing, that is sign that he cares. Don’t torch him too long, but don’t jump on him on first hint that he wants to get marry.

Bachelorette might fall in one more trap, trap of flirting and sex. So, man will say yes on first sight, just to get sex and when this is over, he will runaway. Who can blame him, when he felt caught ? So in this case, Nataša got honest answer and save her time.

Are you afraid that someone else will replace you?

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Competition is pain in the ass. Once when you feel that someone replaced you, your ego is wounded. Dignity is under question and you can ask yourself why is that other person better than you and what makes her/him so special. How to get back in the game ? Are you senior like in tennis, who wish to defeat younger players with your big experiences? Or, you will just let it go and make peace with destiny, because your time is over?

Friendship, job and love are three spots where is replacement possible, and in all areas this could be painful. So, your friend doesn’t think that you are cool anymore, and he found new team? Your boss got rid of you because he needs fresh brains? Your husband abandoned you because of younger woman? Yes, you might feel as shit, because all what you did before is not enough to keep you in surface, you are swimming surrounded by sharks and they will eat you each moment.

Where is salvation ? Molly gave example of person who faced with her fear of replacement.

Molly survived many situations in her life where people treated her as second violin. She had team of friends in neighborhood, but when new girl came all accepted her because she was so cool, and Molly was not interesting anymore. Also, her best friend Alice always dated with guys who were chosen by Molly at first, and Molly felt as she was stolen. Molly got job as intern in one law firm, but they did not keep her cause she was too rebellious. She did not want to follow their rules as they thought, she had some unusual ideas and it was her end.

One day Molly was in another situation where she could be replaced, and her alarm turned on. She finally found good boyfriend, but his female friend  called him all the time on his phone. It was friend from childhood who once loved him. Molly knew she could lose him, so she imagined the worst situation of breakup, cried and said to him that he must decide between his friend and her. Her boyfriend chose Molly , with warnings that she can’t control him and that she will talk with friend not to call him so often. Then Molly realized, that replacement was her biggest fear, her nightmare, and that her behavior is indeed the key of solution. She stopped to fear that she will lose everything in her life.

Time is cruel. It works in shifts, so suddenly you will not be enough smart, beautiful or useful. You will not be popular. That is the reason why Madonna likes to cooperate with young singers and kiss them in mouth, because she wants to keep enemies closer. She will steal pieces of their youth, as reflection of glory. She wants to shine forever, but for this collaboration is necessary.

What to do, if you don’t want to be replaced:

Be original.

Do something what is only yours. Be the only person who can do it something on successful way.

Be faithful, loyal and respectful.

Believe it or not, this values are forgotten nowdays. Loyal person is hard to find because everyone has his price.

Accept younger colleagues as refreshment, not as treat.

Show that you are not afraid. If you gain fear, this is nail into your coffin. 

Have backup plan in the case of trouble.

Say to your competition that you have joker in the pocket, even you are bluffing.

People will find you as interesting person this moment when you have another option. Nobody likes despair or to be the last straw.

If you are victim of replacement, think about how long you can last. Are you creature with deadline? No, you are not hamburger or pizza. It must be something else. Probably you play with open cards from the first moment, you love people to much, you give too much and never keep your secrets private. Probably everyone knows everything about your privacy or your life can be googled at internet. Did you ever said no or you rejected to do something for your special people? If you gave too much, you are already used.

Irreplaceable people never discover everything, even when they lose. They are unpredictable and mysterious. They know to whom they will trust and to whom they will turn back. They will do much for their friends, but never everything, because there is border between good person and fool.

Why i love discipline?

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I always loved discipline.  It helps me to solve mess in my life. I love to know what’s someone brings on table. I love to know with whom i am dealing.

Even you might imagine discipline as something boring, even rigid, i see beauty in this. Imagine that you prepare party and invite best friends. Suddenly, few unknown people came at your place to have fun. They came with dirty shoes, smash glasses and make music too loud. At the end, some of them puke and made stain at your carpet.

That happened to me when i was young girl. I invited two best friends at New year’s party. One was quiet, decent girl, and other was hungry for attention. My neighbors, mostly men, had party too. Woman i mentioned started to talk with them over balcony. They started to ring on our door, asking for her company. She was in slutty clothes and of course men asked for sex. I was girl 16 years old and i promised to my parents that i will save flat clean. I did not care for that guys, i knew them from before, they were drunk hooligans. So i did not want to open them door, even she insisted.  After that we started quarrel. She said that we need some male company and that party is boring . I said her that she can go to her home if she got bored here. She went in tears. Later i heard gossip about me, how she told people around that i kick her out from flat in New year’s eve.

That old story was important for me. Even i am spontaneous person and i love to have fun, even i am creative, i love discipline. When i see that someone is acting on opposite way as i expected , i see disrespect. I see lack of discipline and i can’t accept such person.

Maybe you think discipline make limits in your life and put you into cage?

These are advantages of discipline:

You will get rid of clumsy people from your life. The ones who are getting late, forget promises or mess up things.

You will make your standards higher. Not everyone is welcome at your circle.

You will attract people with sense for order.

Some people will think that is really sexy, when you have hard attitude.

Some people will make discipline when their life is under question, but they will not respect other demands. Like, they love to warn guests not to enter in their house in dirty shoes, but they do it by themselves when they are in other’s area. Discipline must be mutual, to respect others space and others limits. If i say i don’t like something, it doesn’t mean that i said this for a joke. I really mean this. My world is not small and limited cause of this, i am just not a doll to change my principles for the sake of others.

 

Who is real lady nowadays?

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Dear ladies and gentlemen, that is sentence from intro speech when you talk with publicity. You wish to express respect accord your audience, so that titles will help you to sound politely.

Who is indeed lady and does every woman really deserve this name? Recently i went to buy bus ticket because i was travelling in another city. I stand into line, forward me was a man, and few people also waited for a ticket. Suddenly, one woman run and pushed man in front of me, with words “I am in big rush” and before he opened mouth, she was buying a ticket. He said: “Madam, here is the line, you should stand here behind.” She replied : “I am a lady and i need to catch this bus.”  His response was : “You are a lady? Don’t make me laugh. Ladies don’t do this. You escaped from the jungle.”

 

I was smiling, because in his words were lot of truth. Indeed, real lady will not push people as she is from Wild West. That would do Calamity Jane, but not a lady. She could ask politely if she wanted a favor. Words “please”, “thanks” and “i am sorry” should be in dictionary of woman who consider herself as lady.

If we go back to history, in Middle age lady was noble title. That was woman from aristocracy, with manners and from high society. Ladies were princesses and daughters of  the blood royal, with their first names prefixes, for example as the lady Elisabeth.

Today, women will use word “lady” to get some benefits. This is more an excuse, i have some rights because i am a lady. How to expect from men to respect you, to bring your bags, to open you door, if you yell on them , if you are swearing and use filthy words? Your behavior should prove your attitude if you really wish to be a lady.

When i was in high school, last days were really exciting. Everyone wanted to be drunk, because it was goodbye to school days and young people were celebrating. One girl got drunk and she fainted. This image will stay in my memory, because boys drag over her body into school hallway and duster spills water over her. This girl lost her dignity. Later people talked about girl who got drunk and about her behavior which was worse than any guy.

Not every woman wants to be a lady, and this is free choice. Some of us are wild, spontaneous and nowadays this word might sound ridiculous. It is nice to see well dressed and well mannered, educated and decent woman, so you can say “this is a lady.”
Nowadays, lady should be woman with style, who knows when to stay silent, and when to speak , also she will know how to speak. This woman has balance and she gain respect toward opposite gender. Man will fall in love in this lady because she is gentle, and yet with strong attitude.

Did you meet perfect jerk?

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If you ask some women did they met Mr. Perfect, for sure there will be stories to tell. Who is Mr. Perfect and what he represents?

Do you remember guy who always have the most expensive clothes, fast car and all women are on knees, some of them are screaming when he appears because he is irresistible? Also, he is son of his father, rich entrepreneur who has factory, firm or some private business and he has everything to be proud of?

The problem with such guys is because many of them think world is under their feet, and they just need to grab this. Thomas is son of familiar local gynecologist and when some girl would get pregnant with him, he sent her to father, on abortion. He is not ready to have family, yet. Thomas really get bored because everything is too easy for him, on the palm. Sexy women, lot of money, many opportunities for job, and he is dying for challenge.

Another story comes out from Andrew. His father has apartments on the sea, few coffee bars and Andrew doesn’t need to work, he is just having fun in one of that bars, by teasing poor waiters who work for him. Every weekend Andrew finds woman for sex, when she is enough drunk, he takes her into his flat, which is near bar. Another day, Andrew pretends that nothing happened and he doesn’t reply on phone calls. One day he finished in bed with Iris. She was not type of easy woman, she spent days in studying for a lawyer, but one exam was very hard and she was very stressed. She get drunk in Andrew’s cafe bar. They had sex and as usually, another day Andrew did not notice her. Iris was hurt and she cried a lot, she called him on phone, and he replied after many calls, with one sentence : “I am rich, i can do what i want, so leave me alone. “

After one month two guys, friends of Iris, visited Andrew in his favorite bar, to speak with him. One of them said : “Listen jerk, she got pregnant and you are the father. So if you will not speak with her i will break your nose. ” Andrew was in fear so he called Iris to ask her what is going on, but she did not reply on his call. He had nightmare because she was silent next days, and her friends were watching him from every corner. Finally, Andrew approached her in night club.

They talked and Irish said to him : “Listen idiot, i am not pregnant, but you are piece of shit and this is lesson for you to learn about respect. Now, get out from my sight, because i don’t want to see you never again. “

What money can’t buy is clear conscience.
Andrew was so perfect guy, handsome , rich, popular, but he did not see nobody else except himself. From that day, he started to think different, because he felt unpleasant. Something rock his perfect world. Until then, he was main star with fun club.

When we think that we have everything, someone will remind us that we still miss something, especially if we are so cocky, selfish and superficial. Egomaniacs forget that wheel of fortune is spinning, and some day they may be on the bottom. Will they find way out to the top again ?