Are you person of your ages or time pass over you?

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Everybody will remember old uncle Albert from comedy serial “Only fools and horses. ” When he started to talk about “during the war” stories, his family members were yelling “shut up Albert!”. Elders could be boring and annoying people even they are not aware of this. It doesn’t matter how old are you , the matters is your mental age. If you are old in soul, you are fossil.

Bertha and Emily are two different women. Bertha is 40, and Emily is 45. In weekend time, they talked about plans. 

Bertha said : “I will sleep all Sunday and read good book. Maybe i finish my knitting. “

Emily said: “I go to concert of Pearl Jam. Evan invited me, it will be cool night.”

Reaction of Bertha: “Aren’t you too old for this? There will be crowd, kids will push you from all sides. And that noise, omg, how can you listen this?”

Emily replied: “No i am not old, i feel very well thank you. But you are old and grumpy. “


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How can you know that people around you consider you as old zombie?

You poke your nose everywhere, teaching and preaching about everything, even you don’t know nothing about some subjects. 

When you talk, you use past time, as you have Alzheimer illness. 

“It was before twenty years. I remember you had blue suit when you proposed me.”

You are nostalgic, because, accord you, everything was better before.

You talk with other people from heights, as they are kids. 

“Oh i could be mother to you. You are still greenhorn dear.”

You are definitely not in trend. 

“What kind of song is this? This is incredible rattle. What you wear today? Oh, that skirt is too short, that makeup is for aliens, not for you.

I believe that elder people should have dignity in a way to respect other choices. If you are grumpy and you complain on everything around you, that makes you older. It doesn’t matter do you have 30 or 50 years. You are as old computer who reject new updates. You are virus , resistant on changes.

Advices from elders are useful to young people, if you use humor until you talk with them . Also, treat them with equality. Years are not guarantee of intelligence. You can be smart with 20 and other could be stupid with 50. 

Let your spirit fly out from this cage. Don’t afraid to smile and enjoy in things which are for young people. It is not forbidden to go in night club or in concert even young people are there. Wear this short skirt if you feel good in this. What others think, does it matter? 

Everyone will get old. Some people  are old all their life, others are young until the last day. Better to live few days as lion, than 100 days as sheep.

Do you let your past to define you?

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It is hard to stand up after defeat and bad experience. Also, this make you as easy target for gossips. Someone brags about you to your friends and it is not always pleasant to hear. Every smart person will create own opinion and use brain to check the fact. But, others may be suspicious  and you can lose their trust.

As much we are familiar with someone, others will have less influence on our perception. Nobody can persuade you that your sister or mother is bad, because you live with them and that is your blood. Also you will cover your ears if someone talks bad about your husband. 

Well, what will be your reaction if you hear bad things about person you don’t know well?

It depends about background of this situation.

Who is your source?

Did you hear something similar before?

Did you hear from more people the same thing?

New people may be refreshment in our life, but also this is risk factor. New girl at your workplace, new neighbor, new man in your life. Who are they and from where are they come from?

Norman heard much bad things about his new girlfriend. Boys talked that she is easy, and girls gossiped her as bad friend who is stealing other’s lovers. Despite of all, Norman gave her chance and she did not betrayed him. Norman just gave her trust and she felt obligation to return him on equal way. Later, she explained bad stories about her, she just involved with wrong people. Norman pressed this right buttons. He was indeed her inspiration and she never regret to give him chance and let him into her life.

When we give access to someone new , we will ask these questions:

Am i fool? She will screw me, i can suppose that.

Can i effort myself to suffer again?

How can i handle more pains?

Life is as house, so if we close all doors, there will not be more visitors. No matter how much pains you had, your heart should not be locked. Leave this small piece which is not destroyed yet, to someone who will deserve this. 

Or you will suffer, as Gordon.

Gordon is familiar as distrustful man. He is indeed paranoid. Every woman is potential threat. So, he thinks that woman will steal him money, cheat him and leave him, because women are created to hurt his fragile heart. His mother spoiled him, because he was her first child. Later, Gordon saw that other women are not ready to please to all his wishes, and he stayed disappointed in life. Then he met Jasmine. She really loved him, but Gordon left bad impression from the start. He heard from someone that Jasmine cheated his ex husband and it was enough to woke up his doubts. As much Jasmine tried to deserve his trust, Gordon should not get rid of past shadows. So, his behavior made her to leave him. 

Our past experience should not be obstacle in the way of our future. Imagine that you travel in unknown country, and you read about criminals in local newspaper, so you will expect that someone will rob you or kill you during your journey. Every man with grumpy face will be considered as possible murderer. 

Once, when you finish with past, don’t compare your previous sadness with new situations. Don’t make new seed of doubts, without real reasons. There is no need to blow on cold. What happened behind your back is not your business. You and your past split a long time ago. If someone reminds you on past times, walk away from that person. Surround yourself with those who are able to look forward. It is better to run and fall, then to stand in one place, frozen as snowman. 

Are you woman from his dreams?

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Imaginations, dreams and fantasies are typical for women. We like to walk in the clouds and fly with our imaginary wings. Even men are mostly realistic and firmly on the ground, you would be surprised when you find their weak spot. Your man is also sensitive creature on some way, and in his life are dreams about women which you never should touch.
Man will not easy fall in love, especially if his target is woman for serious relation. But once when man fall in love, he will keep footprints in his heart, even that woman left him.
Which kind of woman will label his life ?
His mother. Many men dream about woman who will be embodiment of his mother. Connection between man and his mother is often topic for movies , where bad guy is afraid of his mother, even he is master of every woman in his life.
His best friend. If he had or he still have woman as best friend, she is as his sister and you must be careful with her. Especially if she decided to catch him as lover.
His first lover. First woman in his life when he lost virginity is his pattern. He will measure others accord her, or at least she will stay in his memory as ice breaker.
Woman from his youth who never wanted to date with him. It is possible that your man had unfilled desires for woman who was unavailable for him. He will also have place in his book of love.
Fatal ex girlfriend. Maybe your man had long lasting relation with woman who left him or their love broke because of unhappy circumstances. If he decided to marry you, his fatal ex girlfriend will be someone which you don’t want as subject of your conversation.
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Kelly is kind of person who will do everything for his man. She is his right hand and his lover. She adores her husband Howard. He also loves her, but when his ex love came to their city, he was lost. The best part of this story is, his ex love Charlene never loved Howard truly. She was just playing with him, but she was his first girlfriend, in the period when he was inexperienced and immature, and he was her toy. That day Charlene invited Howard at her birthday party, together with Kelly. Howard danced with Charlene and Kelly was in the corner, as intruder. She did not say a word, and she was silent even when Howard asked her where is a problem. Later, he felt sorry for his actions. Kelly simply did not want to fight against ghost. Charlene left city for two days and they never talked about her again.
When one woman take a place in man’s heart, she became legend. That is battle with windmill. You can’t hurt her because she is not in his life anymore, and even if she is, she will deny deeper feelings for your man. She will say that she is his friend. His mother will say that she has no influence on his son. His ex will say that you are ridiculous. That women are just role models and you need to make changes in his heart, to introduce yourself in areas where you are good, and they had no idea about this. If you are sensitive, and they were cold and on distance, you will melt his heart. You will be woman of his dreams, because you can touch him and make his life magical, in a way she never would.

How to survive as weirdo?

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Some people were born to act accord social rules. As they have drafts what to say or to do in particular situations. “He knows to behave” or ” She is well educated” are just some of descriptions. When you fit in, you are safe from gossips and your circle of friends is big. Or, you just think on this way? If you are clumsy and simply stand out from usual patterns, you will have problem to be part of society, but your failures will help you to be more original.
Did you feel that you are part of wrong movie? Your personal twilight zone doesn’t have to be your disaster. For example, if you stuck between female friends who knows all about baking cakes, and you wish to disappear, it doesn’t mean that you are shame for woman species. I personally felt much better when i was drinking beer and watching football match Croatia – Mexico with my husband and male friends, when we all had so much fun even result was not good for us. I did not see myself with women who trade recipes for domestic cookies.  Probably i would yawn from boredom.
When you can be sure that you are different?
When everyone has something to say in group, and you don’t have opinion or you get bored.
 
When you feel that nobody listen your suggestions.
 
When others start to whisper and gossip about you, and you feel uncomfortable.
 
When you say something what makes others to wonder.
 
One interesting fact is : woman outsider has harder way than man outsider. Different guy is sexy and cool, but rebellious, strange woman is danger. She scares men. She could be victim of bullying. Also she could be declared as target for sex, because her mind is opened. It is not rarity that guys like to have sex with freaky women. She might know different things in bed, and she doesn’t runaway from exploring.
How you will play in this wrong movie, it depends on your character. Will you back up because all are against you, or you will walk in front of this crowd?
Some tips in this case:
Smile if crowd start to mock you. Smile is sign of self confidence.
 
Reply them on cool way. Don’t make your voice tremble. 
 
Don’t try to persuade others that you are not different than them. This is your protecting brand. If you listen heavy metal, and they are listening pop, it doesn’t make you bad person. You are not satanic person with horns.
 
Say what you think even this is opposite from majority. Let they stare at you.
Weirdos are more intelligent people and they have keys to freedom. If your clothes is different, if your accent is funny, if you eat vegan foods and everyone around you eat meat, you don’t have to be ashamed because of this. One my friend came in continental part of Croatia , and she was from Dalmatia. Her accent was different but she was talking loud and with smile, even people looked at her as she is an alien. Be proud of your roots no matter from where are you from, who are your parents and who is your partner. That is the only way that you play main role in this wrong movie, and this is not role of social clown.

Are you social clown?

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Life is boring without jokes, but if people don’t take you seriously most the time, you are in trouble. Imagine that you want to marry for your boyfriend and he makes jokes about it. Imagine that you wish to progress at work and your boss smile into your face. When you are clown for publicity, this is the biggest insult. We are not all equal, so some of us are by nature accepted, as people who deserve honor and trust. But , what if you are not so favorite, if you must work hard that people accept you, or if you constantly lay on the floor , until others are picking fruits?

Life is big cake. Everyone wish the biggest slice but results are different. Some people will always pick crumbs, they will sit and wait in the corner, until others are collecting cream on the top of this cake and smile to those who did not manage this. Do you wish to return them favor, to smile back?

Maybe you still don’t understand that others consider you as clown.

Here are signs, if your answer is yes, you are clown in this society.

Do you forgive too easily?

Do you repeat the same mistakes again and again?

Do you let the same persons to hurt you , even you had a chance to fight back?

Is it hard for you to cut off broken relations or friendships?

Did you break up with the same partner many times?

It is basic that actions are louder than words. You can talk and talk, you can try to persuade others that they hurt you or made you miserable, but until your actions talk opposite, they will not listen you at all. For example, Monica was always quiet when her boss asked her to work overtime. She would say yes, but inside of her was rebellion. Then she tried to make an excuses why she can’t stay more than regular work time, but her boss always found a way to win in this discussion. One day Monica simply left, without words. Next day, when her boss asked her what happened, she said that she can’t do this anymore, if her salary will not be bigger. So her position was better since that moment.

In general, people don’t like long explanations.

If you want that others take you as serious person, do next:

Stop to apologize and stop to forgive.

Cut off all relations which interrupt your good sleep or peace.

Find new occupation or new hobbies. 

Talk short when person who hurts you try to approach you. Save your time and nerves.

Life is kind of circus. When people see clown, first impression is smile. When clown starts to cry, people will smile anyway, because this is clown. So don’t be a person in clown suit. First you must to get rid of this role, then people will get you serious.

Did you drink your own poison?

When i got angry, i use harsh words. I swear and yell. That is my reaction on injustice. Later, when i calm down, i read my messages and i wonder myself should i react different, more calmer or sophisticated. What is that telling about me? That i can’t control myself. That i exaggerated with my reactions and shown my weakness.

There are things on which i am especially sensitive, my honor, my family and my dignity. I don’t like betrayal too.  By showing my anger, i want to show indeed that someone took wrong actions. 

Some collateral victims fall, people who stand in the middle of my conflict. Friend of friends will  sometimes took sides and result is  their loss if they did not support me. Then i think, how i defeated myself by my reactions?

I turn back this movie in my head, and i think how stupid i was, should i keep my people around me in this personal war, instead of emotional blackmail?

Few things in learn , how person might defeat herself.

Don’t shot yourself with own bullets in this case:

Don’t order people to choose side.

Don’t tell people what they should think.

Don’t blame people because they did not involve in your conflict.

Don’t play on their loyalty, if they are loyal they will act by themselves.

Wise rival will win in personal conflict by standing in corner. This is sneaky player who will watch in silence and then do actions. When i used this strategy, my results were much better. Let the river flow situation was indeed on my side. I let person to insult me and to show others real face. Then i put smile and walk with head up. 

Our reactions talk about us more than we think. We drink sometimes our own poison even we are not aware of this. Someone pisses you of and you want to kill him. Killing time needs appropriate weapon. Pick time and place. Think about arguments. Think what could make you damage, what you can lose. 

People will stand by side of positive person. Someone who inspires you, motivate and bring you joy deserve your support. Person who drag you into her conflict is not desirable friend. We all pick our battles, and we must have right of choice where to involve and when. 

7 sentences which hurt women

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Women are as glasses. If you don’t hold them carefully, they will fall and break into pieces. As much woman is strong and independent, she is gentle creature, and choice of wrong words might hurt her. When guy ask : “What is said wrong?”, he is confused that he mistaked with his approach. Some guys are really nasty and they will intentionaly hurt woman, but others are just clumsy and without tact.
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This 7 sentences will hurt woman, so don’t use it if you care about her.

You look chubby or fat. 
No matter how much overweight is your girl, don’t tell her on this way. She will be insulted, especially if you make bad jokes about that.
Someone told me that you change guys as stockings.
Never brag about her reputation. Don’t say this into her face, she will hate you. Besides, her past is not important.
Your daddy is rich. You have a lot of money.
Ooops. Double sword. She will think that you want her money or that you considered her as rich brat.
You remind me on my ex.
Red alarm. Never compare woman with your ex, women are rivals and it is not desirable at all.
Where you learn those skills in sex?
If you talk about her sexual expertise, you are jerk. Be happy and quiet.
You look older, how old are you indeed?
This is simple and traditional rule, don’t ask lady for her ages.
Why you don’t believe in God?
Choice of religion is only her’s. She could be an atheist and that is not your business.
Man with experience will hold his cards as in poker game. He knows which button to press, how to seduce any type of woman, but yet he can do mistake, if that woman is not what he expected. Immature guy, greenhorn will be nervous, because he has no experience. General mistake appears if guy put all woman in the same basket.
How does it look like?
“Buy her flowers, tell her sweet words and take her into romantic dinner. Make love with her and after that she is yours. If she is grumpy, she is not feminine. That is evil bitch and don’t hesitate to slap her.”
Some men have no patience and nerves to seduce right woman. They will give up on first sign of misunderstanding and then they will wonder why she chose another guy. Man must learn to read between lines, because sometimes is not easy to figure it out, what she wants indeed. Some men will use power and violence to get what they wish, but this is not a way.
Words of  my friend,  about how her husband got her attention:
” He did not listen others what they talked about me. He said, it is important what you say or do to me now, not what you did before. I don’t have time to listen gossips and stupid people, i want your loyalty and honesty. If you break my heart, you will never see me again.”
What makes difference between kid and real man is just in his attitude. Boy will yell or cry, man will think and decide. That is whole story.

Do you press wrong buttons?

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Did you ever asked yourself why some people don’t accept you even you did your best effort? Did you asked why you give more than you get and why you stayed with short sleeves in some situations?

This questions bothers me because i am person for “all or nothing. ” I give myself in complete, i have direct approach, my intentions are pure and i don’t know how to lie even i should know, to protect myself. After that i see people with hidden intentions and double faces, how they take my part of cake and i wonder why.

I lost some friends cause i did not know how to fake my mood, how to pretend or to enter in some asses. In life, i met many men who wanted to obey me. I have sharp tongue, hard speech and i don’t get in my mind that i should obey to anyone. Some women have that talent, how to shut up when is time. I admit, when i get into discussion, is hard to get out from this, i love to say all what is on my mind. I am certainly not a type for “hi, how are you, have a nice day. “

What happens to me is in this draft:

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First impression : “You are sexy, smart and strong, all 3 in one.”

Second impression: “You are difficult woman.”

Third impression : ” I can’t deal with you, it is too much for me.”

After this selection, in my life stayed only the strongest people. Why i write this blog 2 years and i have no such big number of followers as i should, this is because i don’t follow pattern.

I hate drafts. Do this, do that so results will be here. I wish spontaneous affection. If you like me, i am here, ask me i will reply you. If you follow me just to follow you, that is artificial love. That is the same as you offer me gift and next time ask gift from me.

I don’t know which button i should press to hold some people in my life, but i certainly know which button you should not press in my side:

Humiliate button. – Don’t ever try to make me feel less worthy. Don’t preach me, teach me, educate me , especially not with bossy tone.

Pity button. – Don’t feel sorry for me like i am child who did not walk yet. 

Laugh button. – Don’t laugh to me when is not funny or to make fool of me.

Rival’s button. – Don’t hold side of my rivals if you are my friend.

So, now when i show off my buttons, which are yours? If you were computer, what people should press to piss you off?

Infidelity – this 6 causers motivate you to cheat?

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Infidelity is double cross. Once when you admit it to best friend or someone you trust, you are good material for judging. It is very rarely to find person who will try to understand your reasons . Before that, you will be subject of preaching, fake morality and people will consider you as demon. I am not saying that cheating is something to approve, but before you judge or crucify such person, read between lines.
What are the most often reasons for infidelity?
Lack of passion.
Boredom and daily routine in long relations and marriage are killers of passion. Instead of hot kiss you will look at your bills and dirty laundry.
 
Your partner is passive and takes you for granted.
Some men stop to work on relation. Once when they get paper, the rest is history and it works by default.
 
Your partner stare at another women.
This looks innocent, but in fact is unpleasent. When you are at the street, at coffee bar you feel embarrassed if your partner look at another boobs and booty and comment how sexy some women are.
 
Your partner is never at home.
He is busy with his work, friends, hobbies. 
 
Your partner thinks that you are fat.
He avoids sexual contact with you.
You went in this marriage accord your interests and financial security.
People will say, why to cheat partner, leave him. Or leave her, if she is not for you. Infidelity is indeed closed circle, because sense of cheating is not another marriage. You want to feel sparks as on the beginning of relation, you want to tremble when your partner is touching you, and when you pass through this, when your lover is in the same position as your husband, you got tired of him too. Maybe even your husband is more interesting after you get bored of lover.
I don’t justify infidelity and for sure i will not recommend this. I try to understand this, and for sure there are limits between fantasies in your mind and real things. Who did not have fantasies about another person? If we spread word infidelity in every areas, masturbating at porno movies will also be infidelity if you have partner, drinking coffee with friend will also be kind of cheating if you share with friend something what you can’t say to your partner.
There must be special bond which connects you with your partner, and reason why you reject another men even you have desires. Something what you have only with him. And if you judge people who forgive infidelity, would you ruin your whole relation or marriage because of one night stand, because your partner mistaked?
Infidelity is matter of personal deal between partners. Only you know how much you can handle. In some countries, infidelity is punished by death penalty. Law decided instead of people and woman who cheats her husband will stay without head. So there is no much space for thinking. In free countries, women will take a risk . Some will open internet pages and talk with sexy strangers when husband is not at home. This is indeed innocent, ask how much women have virtual friends, and ask how much would leave partner because of internet lover. Not many. Some will say that their trips in unknown areas make their marriage better.
Morality is extended value, if you look from another angle. Your friend will maybe judge you, but inside her mind is envy because other men look at you too. Some people will gossip others, and they will be frustrated because they can’t do the same. Soap operas, Big brother and many reality shows made new opportunities for people and relationships are tempted by forbidden fruit.
Infidelity is poison in small doses. You can stop when you wish if is not too late.

How long you let someone to disappoint you?

Disappointments are part of life. Remember the last time when someone turned you back or left without explanation. Remember when someone you cared about did something bad to you. People change, or we were not enough careful to see their real nature. Estimation is key of good relation, so if we don’t estimate person on correct way, disappointment is just result. 

You might ask yourself, why someone hurts you if you did not do something wrong? 

There are few solutions:

People hurt each other because of jealousy. 

You have pretty wife, expensive car, good job. Enough reasons for bad actions, for frustrated people.

People leave because of wrong expectations.

Maybe someone loves you, and you can’t give love back. 

It is hard to persuade broken heart. Heart can’t hear explanations, that you can’t give your emotions for return.

People act on bad way to pull attention on themselves.

Some people are as children. If you neglect them, they will break something to pull your attention.

People fight with each other because of rivalry.

Maybe you and your friend want the same things, but only one can win. If you fight for girl or for guy, friendship is over. 

Helen always thought that she is good person, good friend and good girlfriend. She tried very hard to keep good relations with people. She and Marianne were as sisters, good friends from childhood. Marianne had more success with guys, she was more sexy in that time, and Helen felt she will lose friend. All their topics were always about Marianne, about guys, clothes, her exams , her adventures. Helen was invisible, but she did not care until Marianne did not date with Kevin. Helen was in love with Kevin, but he did not know this. It was last kick to her ego and Helen started to avoid Marianne. They broke their friendship in silence, because Marianne did not care enough to ask Helen what happened. 

Don’t hold on your disappointments for too long time. If you stuck between sadness and questions, you will miss other opportunities. People leave because they wish, and if someone did not offer you explanation or reason for bad act, don’t wait for him. Real love and real friendship can’t vanish over night.

Fake relations are as bubbles. They will glow and fly, but one touch with finger and all will disappear. Struggle is part of real love and real friendship. If your relation can handle fights, if that fights can shape your relation, you are on right way. When person yells at you, that is sign of care. When you don’t care, you will just turn around and go. When you care for someone, you will try to explain your reasons, why you don’t feel good . Relations are never smooth. 

Disappointment has deadline if you are with right person. This is kind of test. If you are with player, disappointment is your mirror. All what you see is wrong reflection of your illusion, and when it vanish, like it never exists.