Why some women so desperately want marriage?

Serbian basketball player Miloš Teodosić recently got tempted offer from beautiful pin up girl Nataša Šavija. Girl saw his photos in newspaper, also she heard that he is famous, so she sent him public message : “I want to marry for you and to wash, iron and clean for you. I will give a birth to 5 children, all for you. ” Many men would imagine himself as her husband, but Miloš answered : “I want girl with brain, so get marry for someone else and give him five children . “

His reaction was a bit harsh, but he sent clear message that he doesn’t want pushy woman who will be with him just because of his glory. If he was carpenter, would she offer herself so openly? That is in fear of many men, that they will find girlfriend who wish their money and who will marry just to have wealth and children.

As much women are afraid that their man is not ready for marriage and children, men are afraid that they found bachelorette.

Who is bachelorette and how to recognize her?

Bachelorette is woman who know that she wants to marry before 25 or 30 years, but she doesn’t know who is her husband yet. Also, if she doesn’t manage with her plan in this period, she will make her standards lower and get marry in late thirties, for man who wish to get marry with her.

How to recognize bachelorette?

She will talk very early about her wedding gown, place for marriage and children. Maybe even after two months of relation.

She will talk about events, not so much about you.

She will make ultimatums with deadlines. 

She will talk about her friends who got married, and compare her relation with others.

She will introduce you to her parents and relatives very soon, You must get know your future family.

Women got surprised when their perfect match slips away. Also, they don’t understand that is their contribution. For sure, you can’t wait your husband for lifetime, but force is also not good idea. You are not product to offer herself with your values. Your partner has eyes and ears and he will make perception about you. Sometimes, you are simply not what he is looking for.

Here are one of the most often mistakes which women do:

I am beautiful, and nobody will reject me. So i will easy find husband.

I am beautiful so i must ask only rich and handsome husband.

I must marry until i am pretty because time is my enemy.

My mother and father will help me to find future husband. 

I don’t need to work because i will get marry for rich man.

I must push him a little, because men in generally don’t know what they wish in life.

I will get pregnant so he must marry me.

Probably Miloš smells the same trap when Nataša gave him offer. He felt like slave in slave trade. Where is his freedom of choice in this case? In modern times, women will more often use their charm to get marry, before partner propose them. This is kick in manhood, because man is the one who decide about marriage. Man will decide because he loves you, not because you are pretty, pregnant or famous. It doesn’t really matter if other thinks that you are perfect woman for him. What he thinks about you is more relevant.

Man who is in life crossroad needs space. Will he get marry or not, it doesn’t depends of bachelorette in his life. It depends about him. In Brazil, women will reject men few times, just to be sure will he try again. Unpredictable situations are better, when woman is the one who needs to say yes or no. So guy is waiting, nervous and sweaty, what will she say about his proposal. When man feels fear of losing, that is sign that he cares. Don’t torch him too long, but don’t jump on him on first hint that he wants to get marry.

Bachelorette might fall in one more trap, trap of flirting and sex. So, man will say yes on first sight, just to get sex and when this is over, he will runaway. Who can blame him, when he felt caught ? So in this case, Nataša got honest answer and save her time.

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How strong is connection with your family?

 

I suppose that everyone of you got sweet promise about something what will last for lifetime. Eternal friendship, sisterhood or love, words said in the moment of enchanting feelings, secret pledge about forever. We all feel that when someone makes our life so beautiful. You made love with this woman and you will say that she will be yours forever. Your friend impressed you by his loyalty and you feel as you owe him. If you have rational mind, you will put reserve into your words. Instead of “I will love you forever”, rational words should be ” I will try to make you happy, as long as i could.”

Our paths are different. One mother gave birth to daughters, two sisters. She could not gave them guarantee that life will make them happy. Sometimes, one girl will have easier path than other girl. This is a test, how much this circumstances will have influence on their future connection.

Sarah and Tilda were grown up together. They borrowed each other clothes, they went to night club as teenagers, and they were even sleeping in the same bed as kids. It was four year differences between them. One event changed them both and labelled their relation. Sarah got married in 23. She met this guy, got pregnant and he propose her. It was love on first sight, and marriage was suddenly, as thunder. During that marriage Sarah got more children, one more boy and girl. Tilda stayed unmarried, until 41, she share flat with her boyfriend, who did not propose her yet. Nothing strange on first sight, but Sarah lost her feeling for sister. Her family became center of everything. Her husband and three kids occupied all free time, and Sarah was cold even toward her parents. During years, parents and Tilda were in the role of bank. When Sarah needed money, she called them for financial help. They felt unpleasant because Sarah was often moody, and she did not offer them drink or food when they visited her. They complaint, but Sarah did not understand what is wrong. Her reply was : “I did not sleep, i have a family, they made me crazy. I can’t breath from them.”

As we grow up, our priorities are changing. We will have less time for our parents, and our focus will be on people who share life with us. You can’t have dirty dishes because your mother wants to drink coffee with you, so you will clean your flat before you accept her invitation. You can’t leave your son who got flu, because your mother wants to go in theater with you.

Just, think about, should you erase your past bonds because you are now mother and wife?

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes nasty. When Greta got divorced, she needed help of her mother. She was financially broken and without flat. She was almost on the street, because her husband kick her out. She did not visit her mother 5 years, but when that day came, she had no choice. Her mother accepted her, because it is her daughter. Greta felt so embarrassed. This was enough for her mother, she wanted that her daughter feel guilt.

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What can happen with our past, with life we lived before?

Our parents could be ill.

They can stay without money or in big debts.

You might need your parents or relatives, because you can get into trouble, as divorce.

When we do some changes, it is like we build house. We can’t crush the basic because we bought new furniture. Where will this furniture fit in, if there is no room?

Our parents could be great reminders for life problems. They passed all before, they can give good tips if you ask them. Your mother knows very well how to cook good lunch or how to deal with man in middle crises. Also, just because your sister is unmarried, it doesn’t mean that she has no idea about life. She can be good helper for your children, not just in a role of bank. What if she suddenly earn big money, do you think she will remember you, if you treat her as stranger? Maybe you will need job, and she will not help you because you did not invite her into your new life.

Blood connection is connection from birth. We should all respect our parents, sisters or relatives. When you see photo of family gathering, this is image of respect, devotion and love. One day you will be old too, and your children might forget you, if you don’t teach them how to cherish blood connection for a lifetime.

Who want to date with mama’s boy?

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In old Greek legend Edip killed his father Laj and married with his mother Jokasta. Too much devotion accord one parent, and lack of feelings for other is basic of Edip complex. His affection toward mother is part of Freud theory , for men who seek women with the same characteristic as their mothers.
For sure you met single men who are connected with their mothers on close way. This pattern is always the same. He lives with mother, she is cooking and washing his laundry, and he can’t find woman who will take her place. Even when he finds her, his standards are so high that she gave up from him.
Dave is one of them. He has over 50 years, good job as manager in private company, he was travelling around world. His life is full of adventures with many women, but he never wanted to settle down. His mother is in the role of housewife, and other women are in the role of mistress. He feels less obligated to mother, than he should be to his potential wife. She supports his way of life, because his father died a long time ago, and she doesn’t want to feel alone. It is easier when her son lives together with her.
In this kind of relation, two persons are connected on selfish way.
Man: “I don’t want wife who complaint on everything. I don’t want to feel limits when i will go home if i stay in the club with friends. For sure i don’t want jealousy if i talk with other women.”
Mother: “I still feel important. If he gets marry, i will not be part of his life as before. I will be old annoying granny.
Mama’s boy is not always single. He is also married or he has girlfriend, but their women live in the shadow of big authorities. Mother is role model for every future wife.
What mama’s boy wish?
She must cook good as my mother.
She can’t wear slutty clothes, my mother is an angel.
She must be educated as my mother.
She can’t embarrass me in publicity. She must be lady as my mother.
She must listen tips from my mother, about kids, house work and everything else.
Mother in law is often old school, especially if you compare her with women now days. If your mother in law is conservative lady who had only one man in her life, and if you were promiscuous wild woman, you will have problems with her. Then you can pretend that you love her attitude and that she has right, or you wish conflicts in every area.
What you can do?
Find common interests with your mother in law. She is maybe old fashioned, but she loves the same movies as you. Go in cinema with her.
 
Make a balance between her and yours attitude. Middle solutions are good for your peace in marriage.
 
Tell your husband if she became impossible. On this way, you will check his devotion toward you.
Be nice and kind with her. If it doesn’t work out, tell her honestly what you think.
Every mother is protective toward her son, but problem starts when she pokes nose everywhere. 

That is why some mama’s boys will never get married and why some will get divorced. It is funny to see when some women use mothers to get certain man in her arms. Mothers are targets, even they are not aware of this. Bribe his mother, and he is half way yours. If he says : “Wow, this lunch is so great, last time i ate such meal when my mother were cooking”, victory is yours.

Now, there is a catch. If you take a role of his mother, if you will be her twin, your man will feel double pressure. He will see two nightmares with broomstick. “Be careful what you are doing”, that is usual warning to poor man, when he is going out with friends or on business journey. Now you have partner, his mom. This poor guy is only yours, because if he tries to escape, you will know whom to call.
Independent men are different, because they don’t drag tails from childhood as mama’s boys. He cares for his mother, but he has own life. When Celia involved in life of her son Marc, she was unbearable. She wanted that her son leave his wife. Marc draw a line, he said to her to back off. After all, that was his problem, not hers.
My old neighbor said very good: “If this woman is good for my son, who am i to complain? After all, he will live with her, not me. So i wish him good luck, he is big boy.”

Why is marriage challenge for partners?

Marriage is crown of every relation. When you meet someone special and fall in love, after some time next step will be that you want to spend life together.

Sounds simply? 

Every third marriage in Croatia ended with divorce. 40% marriages fall apart because partners had no children. 

Some reasons are :
                                 – money problems

                                 – vices (gambling, alcohol)

                                 – infidelity

                                 – abuse

                                 – unemployment or losing job

                                 – one partner doesn’t want children


The city with biggest number of divorce in last year was Vukovar. Every second marriage in Vukovar ended with divorce. 131 weddings  and 68 divorces in Vukovar. Next, city Pula has 223 weddings and 105 divorces.  

The city where in 2012  weddings did not happen at all is Saborsko. There people live in family houses with many family members, grandma, grandpa, mother, father and their children on the same place, so this is big possibility for conflicts. Besides, economic and financial situation there is poor.

When you fall in love, everything seems beautiful.

Passion, excitement, you see your partner in best edition. You don’t see your partner in toilet, bathroom, you don’t wash his laundry, his mother cook for him. Also, men don’t see women without makeup, everyone has own space and time and they see each other when they wish.

The moment you must share your space with someone, problems start. Your mother will not cook for you and you will may not like lunch made by your wife. Your mother will not wash and iron your underwear. You are not free to go with your buddies and spent night in striptease club because you have obligations toward your partner. If you have children , things became more complicated. You will have more responsibilities and obligations. So marriage must eliminate selfishness and immaturity. This is other kind of love and the question is are you ready to share your life on that way.

If you are not ready, consequences are here. 

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As frustrated partner you can:

– abuse your wife/husband

– fall in love in someone else

– avoid your obligations on every way

-drink to drown your problems in alcohol

So, there are many obstacles to establish marriage, but also to keep marriage alive. When partners love each other, this is not enough. Partners must look in the same direction. Make plans together, take decision together, solve problems together, in fact this is love. It is easy to have sex and to say i love you, but what when you are on much harder level?

Marriage is as jungle. Only the bravest and the strongest survive. 

As married couple, you need to share bills, to look at each other every day when you are not so glamorous , deal with problems with children if you have them, decorate flat and many other things. If both sides contribute, it means you love each other. When one side start to sabotage this community, problems are here. You can’t drag all the burden alone.

That is why for marriage needs both, but for divorce is enough only one.

Mateo and woman with mustaches

 

Every footballer has dream about playing in big club as Real, Barcelona or Manchester United. Many of them never realize that dreams,  but Croatian footballer Mateo Kovačić did it. He is now playing for Real Madrid even he is only 21 years old. As every successful, young, handsome and talented footballer, Mateo is on the target of publicity . Who would believe in this, because that modest, religious guy who is 5 year in romantic relation with beautiful girlfriend Isabela was role model for teenagers.

Mateo got some haters because of two things:

He kissed emblem of Real Madrid.

He said that his woman need to cook and that he is the one who will earn money for decent life.

Croatian supporters attacked Mateo cause they think he should kiss only national emblem, not Spanish symbol. They considered this as treason. Well, i disagree with this. Imagine that your dream became true and you are so fascinated that you want to jump from joy? Mateo probably felt gratitude in this moment so he kissed emblem , as he felt in his heart. Also , he wanted to show respect. He did not burn Croatian flag, he just shown his nice manners in another country. Is it more nicer when supporters make mess on stadiums, as it was in Milano, in football match Croatia against Italy, when whole world saw hooligans?

Another thing, feminists attacked Mateo that he lives in stone age. Omg, his woman must cook, how he could say this? I don’t know why is the crime if Mateo wants woman who will cook for him. If she will be his wife, why she could not cook? Imagine that Mateo is playing important match with Barcelona and he should make his lunch or dinner alone, until his wife will paint her nails? Sound awkward, isn’t it? Evil tongues forgot that he will earn big money. So, it would be better that his girlfriend is working in factory or as cashier, to come home tired from work, because she needs to earn own money? It is not always solution that woman must necessary work. Maybe she is more useful as his support, housewife at home. These days i read about girl who is dating with footballer of Manchester United. She works as saleslady, and he earn big money. Maybe is modesty good value for her, but she is not so smart. At least, he could help her to find better job.

People who never experienced mobbing, abusing at work and small salary can’t know how is hard to work on workplace which makes you frustrations. If you must wait nervous and frustrated boss to sign your documents at office and correct mistakes which never existed, if you must hang out with idiotic clients and listen their threats, or if man who is your colleague wants to drag you into bed, that is really humiliation. That is much worse than woman who cook lunch for his husband and clean house. Besides, footballer’s wife , so called wags, have so much possibilities. They can go on social events and promote their country or help their husbands to donate money in causes. That is also kind of work, and useful. 

If i say that i work 12 years and that i would change for life of wags, many would judge me that i am lazy. Yes, i despite extreme feminism, i shave legs, and i don’t want to drive truck. What a disaster! I know to cook also and if i cook lunch for my husband who came from business journey, it doesn’t mean that i am his slave. 

Mateo is young guy who is now subject of judgments, but he bravely goes against crowd. He could say that he cooks as Jamie Oliver and everyone would support him. Well, he said what he thinks. In 18th century,  people would clap their hands for this words, but now he comes into modern society, where is more acceptable that woman has mustaches or change gender, than cooking. Maybe he disappointed some supporters and some women, but guy with honest attitude is more valuable than family man who kiss his wife in publicity and then make sex with mistress in hotel. 

Just married

Single woman are often target at social sites. If you have status single or in open relation, guys will ask for friendship with you, especially if you are pretty and talkative. It doesn’t mean that you must be available for all, and block and delete option is always here to protect you from unwanted fans. 

If woman is married, or engaged or in relation, she notifies publicity that she is taken. Well, you are not under lock and you can talk with your men friends, but you will set up your limits and they will know where is their place, unless you don’t wish innocent virtual flirt. Now next question is: should we declare our status at Facebook and similar sites? Do we owe to publicity notes about our private life? 

Mine opinion is, if you are in relation or in marriage, you should tell it to avoid confusions. If you have common photos with love of your life, let other men see that you are not available to share your heart with them. 

 

What are advantages of declared love?

Guys will not annoy you at internet because they don’t want troubles with your man.

You will not have full inbox of vulgar comments, desperate statements about eternal love with you, and guy will not be surprised if you ignore him.

You will finally have this pleasure that ex girlfriends can see your photos together. Show the bitch to stay out of him. 

Guys will have respect toward you. You are taken and they will not dare to spread gossips about you.

Photos talk more than words so you don’t have to explain to annoying guy why you did not add him as friend.

Some couples are really irritating, so if you see profiles with such couple, they will appear with mutual photos everywhere, you will not know do you talk with wife or husband because they share password and if you add man, you must add his woman too, because she check every detail at his page. If they have children, they will spam page with every detail about kid’s poop because publicity needs updates. The worst thing you can do is to become the same person as your partner. His friends must be your friends and opposite, your friends will be his friends. Now everything you do or said is under magnifier because your husband is watching you.

In old times, woman should not think about personal life once when she got married. Rags and plates were her tools for fun, scream of child was her music. New times changed picture of married woman. She is not servant in marriage, she is not just wife, mother and extended part of her husband. Somewhere between kitchen and room is space for this woman, for her personal hobbies. Why married woman should not have virtual friends, if she can relax in virtual space? 

Just for a record, if you are married, you will notify men where is their place.

They are your friends, not lovers, even in virtual space.

They should not ask you where you are, because you have husband and you are obligated to him.

They should not request details about your relationship. This is your private thing.

They should show respect toward your husband. 

Sometimes is really ridiculous when guy of 20 years sent request to 40 year old woman, even her status is married or in relation. When i was teenager, guys asked for girls in some clubs or in parties, they did not opened computers to seek for love. It is dangerous when young man never get out from his house and all what he knows is life in monitor. Another thing is that not all women are fair and honest, and some horny married old lady will use situation to play around, because she got bored in marriage. 

Someone will say, what kind of damage can appear if you chat with young guy and flirt? There is no harm if guy is here for fun and laughs. But, some guys are sensitive, immature, without real experience and they will believe that beautiful woman from social site is their other half. Imagine face of their mother when her son refuse to get out from his room because he waits for a message in some chat room. 

World is not fair place, and some women are not pleased only with husband and children. Suddenly, they wish to grab all and they will open few fake profiles to get all possible attention.  They are “just married” but still their ball is in the ground and they are still playing wicked games.

How we take others for granted?

 

Happiness is double sided value. We often can’t recognize until we have it, or we don’t appreciate what we have, until it’s gone. Once, when that precious treasure gone from us, we will sit and cry, try to get it back because only then we realize real value.

Did you have great friend, but you use him as toy? Did you have good job but you did not appreciate your position enough? Also, did you make a fool from your beloved partner, even he or she did everything for you? When you take someone for granted, you will get paycheck later, with the biggest price you ever seen. 

Edith was example of good wife. She woke up early to prepare breakfast for his husband Anthony, she was ironing his suits for business trips, and their house was clean as drugstore. Anthony did not appreciate her as he should. He was travelling a lot and his company was sexy secretary Jane. All people bragged about his affair, also Edith knew, but she believed that he will change. One day Edith got visit, from her best friend Carol, from Australia. They did not see each other a long time ago. Carol was sales manager, and she had business offer for Edith, to work for her as assistant. Edith was educated, but she left her career because of marriage and kids. After Edith read newspaper and saw Anthony with Jane on business meeting, how they smile and hold their hands, she brought decision. She accepted business offer and move in another city, together with kids, when Anthony was still on business trip. Carol offered her flat for rent and new life. When Anthony returned and saw empty flat, he was desperate. He did calls to beg his wife, to come back. She did not replied, and Anthony is still trying.

 

What is the point? When we play with other feelings, are we culprits?


Maybe other people are not strong enough to show us that we are wrong. Maybe we know, deep inside us, that we will always get forgiveness, despite of our rudeness. “Oh yes she loves me so i can do what i want. “

We should be careful with people who love us too much


Everyone, even the biggest fool, will have limits. Once, when you cross that limits, you are on empty space. You can’t pass into wire fence anymore. What is worse, it is hard to find such good person again. When you kick the dog, he will bite you. If you don’t hold and care the treasure, you will get stones. 

If you are not aware of your happiness, it is hard to prove you an opposite. You will realize when will be too late.