Don’t touch his heart if he is not into you

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The biggest lie which man can say to you is “I will never fall in love.” Translation of this words would be: “You are not the right woman for me. ” It sounds better if you think that guy is simply cold or without heart, and your ego will be less hurt if you think that he can only have sex with women, without feelings. This trap is often , as an excuse when guys want to break some relations or avoid obligations.

Love is unpredictable and it is impossible to resist when arrow hits your heart. Eric was one of big players in his youth. He broke hearts of many girls. They were running for him, crying, even one of them threat him with blackmail, but nothing could force him to fall in love. Then he met this girl Diane. She was independent and busy with so many things, she did not have time for relation. They were friends but nothing more. Once they even had sex and other morning Diane left him a note that she is in rush, she went to business seminar in other city. First time in his life Eric lost power and control. Where she left and why she left, it was kick into his ego. He realized he falls in love, and he did many efforts to win her heart.

Love makes people more fragile and without control. Until we are single, our views are not misty. Under influence of love, weakness will come out to rule with our actions. Love will melt even the most coldest heart. When woman is not the chosen one, she will try to believe in her own lies.

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What kind of excuses women wish to believe, when guy is not the right one?

He is not ready for love relation because he is dedicated to his work.

His ex girlfriend hurt him too much.

He just want to have sex with women and nothing more.

He is asexual and spiritual type. Love doesn’t exist for him, he is religious and he loves only God.

He said that i am too hard to get for him.

Men who wants to avoid women tears will use nice words as explanations why they don’t want to stay with some women. They wish to get rid of feeling of guilt, and to sleep peacefully. In this case, honest and tough guys will give more favors to women, if they admit that they are simply not interested. Smart woman will know the real meaning of this sentences. They kindly say to you that you are not the right one.

The truth is that some men will fall in love harder and not so often. Some men are on distance with feelings, but it doesn’t mean they will never fall in love. As much you wish to get key of his heart, when he starts to make excuses why he is not ready, make it easier and say that you understand all. Give him wink and go forward with your new love stories.

Middle solutions are not good deal

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Life is big tasty cake. People will gather around table to grab the best pieces. Some will take the best parts, others will take only what is left. Who will be the winner? Winner is not person who is faster than others. This is person who reject to take crumbs. 

Everyone wish the best for himself. Beautiful woman, good job, lot of money, nice house. Do you wait granny with plate and cookies or you take some efforts to realize that? Or, you are satisfied with middle solutions? We can’t have everything, but some things we deserve.

Love is area where middle solutions are just comfort. Sometimes, our heart is willing to accept middle solutions because we love someone too much to let him go. We can’t take this eraser because we will suffer.

 

What are middle solutions in love?

I don’t love you so you can be my friend.

I like you but i don’t love you so you can be my mistress.

I want you in my life but not in the way you wish so call me sometimes.

Middle solutions are crumbs. They are destroyers of pride and dignity. Why you take this from guy who underestimates you, if other guy would offer you much more?

Besides, if you are satisfied with crumbs, you will live whole life with pieces. Others will realize their dreams, you will watch other ‘s success and something inside of you will make you frustrated. This little worm is digging into your soul, why you let yourself to live like this?

Big changes need big cuts, the same as you need to throw crumbs if you wish to get whole cake. It is familiar feeling when you love someone so much that you will accept him in every circumstances. 

When you will wake up?

When you see that he respects and love other woman. 

When he is ready to take stars for her, and you are just number for him.

When he is rude or cruel with you, because you are his nothing.

Life is movie, and you are one of actors. What is your role, on the stage or in background? Do you wish to watch others eternally how they take things in front of your nose until you are in the corner?

When someone say to you “life sucks”, be sure this is person who missed his best opportunities. They disappeared in cloud of smoke. So close, and yet so far away, because he had no guts to take whole cake.

Did you try to reanimate dead relation?

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When people fall in love, someone is always in advantage. That belongs to person who love less on first sight. In this circumstances, such person has slow reactions, heart is locked and self control is on the highest level. Other half in this couple is more sensitive, fragile and more available as emotional target.
The same happens when people start to chill out from romantic blindness. Person who chill out first is also in advantage. Yesterday she was crazy about you and she did not notice your bad breath, short legs or not so slim belly. Today she said that you should wash teeth more often, that you are not so fit and that she can’t get horny on you. So when we love even monkey is beautiful. When we don’t love anymore, we see things as they are and our criticism blinks on every detail.
Remember your ex boyfriends or girlfriends from the past. Today you will smile or even regret why you did such choice. But on other side, maybe reactions will not be the same. Maybe person is still into you and they can’t forget or chill out.
What happens when person can’t forget ex love, even it is very clear that it will never come back again?
You stand on the same place. It is impossible to move on because you are frozen.
 
You blame ex partner for all failures in your love life, even he vanished from your life a long time ago.
 
You don’t notice new people around you.
 
You try to get revenge and to ruin other life because of pain you feel inside.
Person who can’t forget made damage to yourself. 
 
Imagine that you try to get back person who forgot you a long time ago.

 
This is possible development of this story.
 
She will laugh to you.
 
If you disturb to your ex partner , she will call police or someone who will make your life miserable.
 
She can sue you for hurting her privacy and also is possible to ask access barring.
Now you think about, is that worthy, that people feel sorry for you or make jokes with you? Just because your ego is suffering?

My general opinion about people who can’t accept word no is that they never loved this fatal person. 

When you love someone and when relation broke, you will walk your way and let person to be happy, even without you. We all lose some battles in life and we can’t have it all what we imagined. Why to keep someone in fear just because our ego can’t stand defeat? This is obsession, not love.

Naomi had big problems with her ex boyfriend Ted. Long time after they broke up her phone was ringing in the middle of the night and she could not sleep well because she was disturbed by this calls. Ted was following her in all places where she went, but she was persistent in her decision. She ignored him and she was cold as an iceberg. Ted soon realized his nonsense so he left her alone.

When you are stalking person who left you a long time ago, you are catching shadow. 

That shadow will be around you, but you can’t touch her because it is forward you. Also, you are wasting your precious time which will never come back again.

Remember when you had beautiful rose . After few days that rose faded. Even you changed water in vase , that rose was without color and smell. Soon it was dry plant and all you could do is to put this into trash box. The same is with love from the past, you need to close this chapter because it ended a long time ago.

How to get rid of mistress?

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Sparks are cruel tool. At the beginning two people will fall in love and they can’t explain chemical reaction between them. Why they want to rip each other clothes, why they want to kiss all the time, and why everything is less important than their love, answer is somewhere in the heart.

When this situation chills out, love is discarded, person is rejected and it could be obstacle to your future. What we can say, that all what happened wasn’t real? Or it was just magical moment with deadline?

Some men are simply promiscuous. They will get marry and once when they feel comfortable, hunter zone is again opened for them. What they need is mistress. They will find mistress, but then , after some time, mission is accomplished, and what now? They need new flesh, but how to get rid of old flesh?

Stephan is one of the bosses in high position, he works for government. He is in happy marriage, with two kids. His secretary, Alice, is sexy young woman. Once, in business trip, they involved and slept together. This relation continued and Alice started to believe that he will leave his wife. That was fake hope. Stephan soon realized that Alice is similar to his wife. Passion moments became annoying moments. Alice was ordering, complaining and nagging. She took role of wife, even she was not in position to to this. When Alice replied on important business call, without asking, Stephan got mad and broke up with her. Alice was desperate. She was stalking him, and Stephan fired her. She lost everything, and Stephan did not even apologize to her. Simply, he wanted to avoid drama and to erase her from his life. Few months later, Stephan hired new secretary, Betty. He involved with Betty , but she was not instant adventure. She was mysterious and not easy to get. She gave choice to Stephan, to leave his wife if he wants to continue with her. Stephan left his wife and kids. He really fall in love in Betty and he chose life with her.

Men will often ask, how to leave previous love , and not to hurt her? In Croatia, we would say, you can’t be fucked and fair in the same time. 

When man fed up with his mistress, he is cruel, even without intentions. 

What men usually do in this case?

They stop send messages.

Avoid every conversation.

They stop to call.

They find many excuses not to meet with this women.

They are constantly in rush, busy and without free time.

If you are man who wish to be fair, gentleman with good manners, if you don’t wish to hurt ex love , you should do next:

Explain in few words your reasons, why you can’t be together more. 

Tell her that you don’t want scenes or scandals.

Show respect and say thanks for time you spent together.

Tell her that she deserve someone who is better for her.

When you see her , after breakup, don’t turn your head. Say few polite words.

If she will need favor from you, if she might ask you for help later, do it. 

Do not underestimate her, don’t make her miserable. Especially don’t insult her. 

You can find out about person many things after breakup. Even women will say, pain is the same no matter about way of breakup, it is better to say goodbye on nice way, than to be kicked out in the ass, like the last trash. 

After time, things will look different. You might walk with your husband in front of your ex lover. This ex lover can talk with you, with respect. At least it will not be uncomfortable situation for you. You are someone who is respected. Maybe your husband work with your ex lover? Better that he is gentleman.

Imagine situation that you broke up on terrible way with your ex, and you did not want to leave him alone. Your present boyfriend heard roumors about you, something as “take care of her, she is insane.”  This label you don’t need really. 

Walk like lady if you had deal with trash. Walk like lady if you had deal with gentleman. In both cases, you can win. In first case you had no luck, and in second case your luck was with deadline.

What happens when emotions rule with you?

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Clean mind is half way to successful results. When you need to bring an important decision, your brain should be in chill out position, and your nerves should be calm. Unfortunately, mostly is not like that, so we have bunch of decisions which are made in state of anger, rage, wrath or even hate. Emotions are beautiful part of every human being, but just in a case when we control them or when we use them on right way. When you let your emotions to go wild, results will be unexpected and not as you wanted.

Feelings are as furious dogs. If you let them to rule over you, they will bite you. 

So let’s see here what happens when emotions go wild.

Love. When you fall in love in wrong person, you give him power to do with you what he wants. He can manipulate with you because you have no strenght to say no.

Sadness. If you are in deep grief, you will not see people and events around you. Life will pass and you will stay frozen.

Anger. You can beat someone in state of anger and later you will regret, but you could not stop your fists to work faster than brain.

Self pity. You think that you are the most pathetic creature at this world, so you will let others to spit on you too, because it will make you bigger victim.

Condolence. If you feel sorry every person who cry or beg in front of you, you will not have time for yourself.

Guilt. You are hard toward yourself, so you think you deserve all bad things which happens to you, because that is act of karma, in past life you hurt someone so you must pay your debts.

I was many time witness that people who can control their feelings are more successful. For example, Mabel is the main bitch in her neighborhood. She has husband, two adult daughters, successful work and lover. Nobody will not say nothing ugly about Mabel, because she is cold blooded woman with plan. She is travelling because of her work, daughters are already independent, husband is not always at home, and young Paul is lover, in fact plummer who has a lot work to do in their family house. When Alice, woman next door got divorce from husband, she had many visitors, mostly men. Everybody talked about Alice as whore. Nobody pull trigger on Mabel, she is respectable member of this society, because she is silent as real whore, she has poker smile and nobody knows what she is thinking. Alice is noisy, without secrets, she trusts too much and she created many scenes around. Some of her lovers were married..oops. Alice got black eye in fight with angry wife, because of her lover Steven. 

Human species is not fair group. Do you think people will love you if you are honest, fair and you play with open cards? You will be as rabbit in forest, and every hunter will shot you very easy.

Some people were born to play cold, others learnt with time, and some will never learn, but this is useful skill. 

Let’s see other part of story, how will emotions work for you, when you push them in right direction.

Love. Don’t turn around when you cut off some connections.

Sadness. Wipe your tears and open eyes. Someone will give you hand.

Anger. Take a deep breath before you decide to do some actions. 

Self pity. Forget this, you are not perfect, but neither others are masterpiece. You don’t want to be clown, isn’t it?

Condolence. No, you can’t help this beggar who is asking coins every day, you have smarter things to do.

Guilt. You hurt someone? Everyone hurts someone, intentionally or by accident. It happens, shut down this memory.

When you make decision, you can use this pattern. Remember that you don’t have obligations to play fair, you just want your piece of cake in this circus called life.

Are you in romance with narcissist?

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Legend says about handsome guy Narcissus who was so focused on himself that he fall in love in his reflection in the lake. At the end he drown in attempt to show admiration to himself.

In cartoon Johnny Bravo is funny guy who talks only about himself. “Let’s talk about something different. About me.” That is man with muscles Johnny Bravo, who love himself more than anybody else.

For sure you will recognize Narcis in reality, because they are everywhere. Mary asked her best friend Lucy for an advice. Lucy told her: “Why can’t you be like me? I never had such problems, all guys are under my feet and even my teacher thinks i am sexy”.

What are characteristics of narcissist?

selfishness

– big ego – this person is self centered and nobody else is important

– denial of other attitudes and ideas

– talking only about own problems, if you talk about other things, you will finish with his   problems

– lack of empathy

Self confidence is healthy, but vanity is very different. Person with high level of self respect knows own possibilities and her charm is to help others and value other opinions. Self centered person thinks only for own sake, even if that means hurting others.

So best friends of Narcissus are me, myself and I. Don’t try to compete with them, you are not good competitor. If your partner is such kind, don’t surprise if you are always on second place. First place is taken a long time ago by him.

Narcissus doesn’t need equal partner. He needs someone to clap hands and to be into his shadow as audience. You are happy because he chose you, because he is a king and you are his best servant. Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t pay attention on your tears or anger. He has no time for this, because he is obsessed with himself. He is main actor in his own movie and role model for others. Everything what such partners do is example for others, because they know the best.


Relation with Narcissus  can last only if you accept to live in background , to forget own wishes and needs.

Some of such models will always be alone, because they can’t find someone who is enough good for them. Others will find victims and servants. The only kind of love which is acceptable for Narcissus is love toward himself. In this relation you will love for both and don’t expect nothing for return, because you won’t get it anyway.

When women send wrong signals

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When i was teenager, i had friend from another city. She visited me in summer and we had deal to go out in nightclub for weekend. When we met, she was wearing short skirt and high heels, and i was in trousers. Soon, bunch of kids start to mock her, and one boy said to her: “You look like whore.” She was shocked, me too, but it was small city and people were poisoned with stereotypes and prejudices. That kid had 13 years then, and for sure he heard such words from his mother or father. She did not have good time even later, because men were offering her sex or drink in the club, so she was so disappointed. I did not want to be rude, but i said to her that problem is in her clothes. She simply shown wrong impression. Indeed, she was good girl from decent family, but she wanted to attract attention from one particular guy. He did not appear that night, but she got bunch of unpleasant offers from other men.

When women fall in love, they think with heart or instincts, and often their strategy is not the right one. Even we live in modern world, where Pamela Anderson had porno video for publicity, and Miley Cyrus shown masturbation and tongue out, men will still give labels as “easy slut” or “whore” to some women.

Our behavior and our clothing will talk about us more than our speech. Recently i saw drunk girl in the nightclub, and man touched her in front of other people, he put her hand under her shirt, but she was almost fainted. That is cruel world, some men will use opportunity for easy sex, when they noticed some wrong signals.

What women should not do if they want to avoid public disgrace?

Don’t drink too much, because you will do things which you will not remember. 

Recently, British woman was raped in Croatia, from two guys. She was totally drunk and they used opportunity. 

Don’t walk alone in dark alley.

Don’t wear short skirt and big decolletage if you don’t have male friends around you, or boyfriend.

Don’t brag about number of your sex partners. Every man will think, he is next.

I am far from conservative attitude, but some things will bury women in few moments. It doesn’t matter what someone thinks about you, or gossips you may hear around. What really matters is expression of your values, what you will show to the world. You are not obligated to justify or to confess about your actions, but choose strategy wisely. 

Also, if you want to capture attention from special guy in real world, don’t involve with his best friend or brother. You will be public property. 

Once, when you have label, it is very hard to get rid of it. You walk around as diseased person, and others are suspicious about who you really are.

Sometimes, men will see particular women as things on sale, which are available for everyone. All you need to do is to show your price.

5 ways how to deal with playboy

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When Bryan walked into room, every woman has eyes on him. He was charming, talking with everyone and had nice words for all. Until the end of the year, Bryan slept with many women from his workplace. He broke hearts, but still all wanted to be with him. Stella had big decision, to catch him for herself. He should be only hers.

That kind of plan is draft when you wish to catch playboy. Some boys will wonder, why their rude, promiscuous and nasty friends change girlfriends so fast, and they barely find someone to date? On other side, women will ask how to stop playboy and how to be the last station for him?

So, you crush in him, and he has many affairs. He is nice with you, he gives you chances, but soon you realize that you are only number and that you can’t stop him. 



In this case, women do some basic mistakes. If you wish to stop playboy, don’t do this:

Don’t try to prove him that you are special. He will notice by himself.

Don’t insist to date with him if he already say no.

Don’t use sex as weapon. He is on familiar ground.

Don’t let him to use you for his purposes. Men ego could be very big. Once he realize that you love him, he might play with you.

Don’t confirm all what he says. He doesn’t need shadow.

How Stella caught Bryan at the end, it was mystery which everyone wanted to know. She was ordinary woman, not so pretty, older than him but smart. She found his weak spots, that he wanted someone who will treat him as human, not as sex object. He did not want woman who will cut wrists because of him. He wanted someone who will be enough cool not to call him every day but still support him in everything. Until other women skipped intro, Stella wanted to know all about him . They wanted to catch him for bed or for marriage, but Stella first focused to deserve his trust. She was arguing with him to prove that she is not impressed by his sweet appearance. 

You will be surprised maybe, but men are also in fear that women will use them. Women can use men for money, sex and selfish interests, the same as men do. Just, women are more complicated. You will understand very soon when guy wish to use you for sex, but men will understand slow how they were used, when woman drag him into marriage from interest. Until you found out, you are already around table with your mother in law who ask you to taste her domestic cake. 

What are basic fears of all playboys?

She will catch me with pregnancy.

She will make jealous scene in publicity.

I could not get rid of her.

She will make suicide and i will be responsible.

Her friends will gossip me and i will be crucified as jerk.

Too much experience is burden as lack of experience. In second case, you walk through the dark, in first case you are blind from too much light. When man have sex with too much women, all are the same for him and he doesn’t make difference. 

What are signs that guy is playboy?

He will seduce all kind of women. Ugly, pretty, young and old.

He will talk sweet with everyone.

His compliments are copy paste. “Your eyes are dangerous. ” How many times you heard this?

Every girl knows story about him. No, they are not jealous on you, they wish to warn you.

He will say that he had no luck and that women hurt him. He is broken every month and he asks for comfort.

If you expect that he will totally change, you are wrong. He will be faithful to you, but you will close one eye to his love reminders. Every time when some girl will smile in his presence, you don’t need to start questions. Playboy is someone who will be accepted, not transformed. He decided in one moment to stop his way of life, because he got tired. This is kind of journey. You are travelling without pause , but then you see safe harbor and you wish to stay. This happens in moment when you feel peace in soul and when you don’t afraid of sharing. Your fear is now different, this is fear of losing something valuable.

Bryan got wife and small daughter and he found new sense. All this sexy girls from his past became irrelevant because they had nothing to give him more. He was even afraid not to lose Stella. 

Some naive women think that they are better than others, chosen or benefited. In fact, they only came in the right moment . He was too old, too tired or ready to settle down. The main thing was that he insisted to stay with particular woman. She could be his friend from childhood, office mate or neighbor, but she was his last chapter. 

Story about Croatian witch



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If you deny offer for proposal nowadays, men will be angry or disappointed, but he will forget and focus on other women.

In ancient times, women who denied proposal were punished as witches, this was good way of discarded men for revenge. If you did not accept your admirer, you could die as witch.

13 – 18 century was age of inquisition and torching. Many innocent women burnt as witches, many were accused that they made contract with devil . What was procedure? Women were torching until they make confession and then verdict was “guilty.” Many women betrayed their neighbors in exchange for their freedom, but court deceived them and they were executed anyway.

This story happens in Zagreb in Croatia. Beautiful widow Barica Cindek , woman baker was accused as witch. She had many admirers, but she denied all. She was very successful as merchant, men bought her cakes and candies because they were attracted with her beauty.

 

Familiar lawyer Lacko wanted to have her love but she rejected him. He used his business connection to accuse her for witchcraft. He also abused his power to explore where is a devil sign on her body and touched her on sensitive places which was additional humiliation.

 

In the year 1743 poor Barica burnt as witch on bonfire.  She prayed to God all the time to forgive women who were fake witnesses  against her. She finished her life as innocent victim, guilty only because she used her attitude.

 

That bloody nightmares with witch hunters finished when empress Maria Terezija declared act against it.

Until then , any rejected man could accuse woman that she is a witch and devil mistress. Ego had big price and when women dared to reject men, it was big risk for her.

This story is sad example how far disappointed people can go in attempts to prove their ego. Nowadays witches could be sexy but not accused and burnt on bonfire. 

All i want for birthday is you

Birthday is start and end of your natal year. This is like personal New year, when you make circle between your wishes and realizations. How much you did in one year, and are you happy with your accomplishments? As my birthday is tomorrow, i love to make a line and compare my dreams with reality.

I had hard year. In this obstacles and sometimes nightmares i saw message, that i must be strong if i wish to realize my dreams and beat my inner demons. I had lot of conflicts, private and business, but i get out from this stronger. I learnt about patience in my marriage and about calmness at my workplace. I learnt about forgiveness with my friends, but also to distinguish fake from real ones. I learn to save my time and to cut of those who wish to sabotage me or to stop my progress. I learn to stay quiet when i wanted to explode. I learnt to act professional when i wanted to punch someone in face.

This bitter lessons are swallowed with nuisance, but today i can say that all happened with reason. Sister asked me which kind of gift i wish, and my husband gave me support and smile. The best gift i already got.

I will make a party with one purpose, to forget all bad what happened and to turn on new page. I know some people will not greet me or to wish me happy birthday, but i am grateful to them because it would be hypocrite act.

Why i would wish birthday wishes from my office mate when we can’t stand each other? Why i would wish fake smile and gifts from those who will turn me back next day?

Life gave me the best gift. Life said, don’t be whinny, wipe of your tears and bury your rivals with smile, because it fits you. Once when i lost nerves one person said to me : “You are strong lady, and tears don’t fit you. So make a smile because you are the most beautiful when you smile. “