A man who uses every opportunity

 

If you are one of those women who think that your man will change, you are wrong. Even if it is, you are not the one who will change him. He will be changed by own decision or circumstances in life, or he will stay the same, but with another skin.

When man has ability as chameleon, he is step forward. He can be ready for all surprises and he will be able to rule with all situations.

Amanda was rich daughter and her parents were masters in small city. She was cocky, glamorous and somehow cruel, so many men were afraid to approach her. Hugh was poor guy without parents, he was earning for life by fixing cars and motorbikes, and he lived in rented flat. They met in gym and Amanda captured his eyes at first moment, when she was exercising at Treadmill, by guidance on her coach. Hugh involved in their conversation and give her few advices, how to keep form. Amanda was interested for this rude guy, because he did not care for nice manners and he was not impressed by her at all. At least, he didn’t show this immediately. She was the one who asked him to drink coffee together. The rest was history, Hugh became member of rich family in period of one year.

Her father did not accept Hugh so easily, so he got task to open his private business, with his help and investment. Hugh was under magnifier of whole family, so he learnt few foreign languages just to please them, he learnt to eat on fancy way and to dance and play golf. Amanda could say that she changed him , but it was not true. When she was not near him, Hugh was again in his favorite pub with drinking buddies, and easy waitress.

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Women are used to say : 

“I learnt him how to act decent. His mother did not do good job in childhood.”

“I changed him, he is not looking at other women anymore.”

“I forced him to leave his idiot friends. They had bad influence on him. “

“He is now under my control.”

All this are misleads. Men will do what they like, you only think that you are creator of their new life. They stopped with old ways because they got tired and it became useless for them. Maybe they hide their old habits and they come back in old life from time to time. This is something you can’t know.

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It is possible to be alone in relation

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Once my hairdresser asked me: “Do you have boyfriend?” I said yes, and she said with deep sigh: “Thanks God, because if you never had boyfriend, it would not be all right with your sanity. “

That  provincial judgment made me smile, cause relation is not guarantee for happiness, neither is loneliness sign of misery. Do you know how is to feel alone in marriage or in relation?

At first sight, everything is nice because you pleased social conventions. Formally, you are not alone and you are worthy accord standards, because you have someone. If you look at this deeper, you will find many things under shinny surface, which are not so fairy .

In romantic movies two people met each other, make love and got married. Then they get children, have little conflicts because of breakfast, dog or furniture, make peace and live together forever. In real life such story has no logic. Relations are hard and marriage is hard, especially if two people are not in collaboration.

Logic question for any unhappy person in marriage would be: “Why don’t you leave him or her?” There are many reasons, including financial, why is that not possible over night. It takes time, nerves, money and it leaves pieces of broken heart, damaged trust and dead hope.

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Well, how is to feel alone in relation?

You make plans, and partner is silent.

You have problems at work and want to talk about this, your partner is ignorant.

You came home from work and want to make love, your partner is sleeping because he is tired.

You want to watch movie together, but your partner has no energy and will to comment with you.

Did you ever feel that you want to escape from reality and wake up somewhere else, where you will not see grumpy face and dead shine in eyes of your ignorant partner, where he will not blame you for his frustrations and where some dark stranger will hug you to forget everything?

In the movie “Purple rose of Cairo” Mia Farrow got lost in her dreams and she enter into movie screen to be together with her favorite actor. Later she realize that imaginary world is not hers, that is even worse than reality. Just, she learnt to grab courage, and she is leaving her nasty boyfriend who can’t do even small house work without her help.

The point of one sided relation is lack of courage. You live with parasite who suck your blood and you feel sorry for him but he will not say thanks for this.

Don’t feel alone in relation when you can be alone single. I had relation where i was alone. Guy called me every third day, his phone was busy when i needed him and i did not know am i in relation with him still because he never said that he will break up with me.

That is how syndrome “alone in relation” works out. That is sneaky cancer which attack your soul, bite you inside until it grabs your heart and make pieces of it.

5 types of people you should avoid at social networks

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Social networks are relaxing place if you share your time with good people. Stranger from internet could be more interesting than your colleague at work or boring neighbor who knocks at your door every day. Another traditions, exotic countries and different views are real refreshment in boring daily schedule. Unfortunately, internet is not always place for enjoyment, so you can fall in trap of some freaks who forgot line between reality and virtual space.

This 5 types of people you should avoid and press NO button for friend request:

Spammer. This kind of person will spam your wall with tags and inbox with messages. He is not here for friendship, he desperately catch attention. Especially is odd when such person start to share your personal photos around, without your permission.

Lover boy. This person is hungry for love and sweet words fly over your page as butterflies, but also you can see the same story in other pages. Sweetie, darling or honey are his daily inspirational words.

Pervert. He is big fan of porno photos and videos and he can embarrass you in publicity, because naked bodies are his hobby. 

Hater. He hates everyone and world is undesirable place, accord him. He will ask for conflict and fight in every opportunity. When such person is leaving, everyone will be considered as idiot or jerk, because everyone hurt him badly.

Lonely soul. Yes, this is kind of person who yells “add me” in every group, because people must add him. Otherwise, he will open fake page and threat you why you did not accept his nice offer for friendship. 

Even every social site has block button, you are not finished once when you block unpleasant person. He or she can open another page or gossip you around, or even try to hack your account, because you did not want to hangout with them. Some cultures are not based on rejections, for them is rude to say NO, and they will hard understand that you pick your friends.

Internet offered exit for every lonely person on this Earth, but some of them mixed reality and dream. Even when you add someone who is not accord your standards, you can soon regret this, because such person will ask daily chat with you and you will have stone around your neck.

Virtual space is not substitute for reality. This is bonus , additional gift together with reality, vacation with keyboard. If your workplace allows access to social networks, you will join to some site to get rest from daily pressure. Maybe you will rather exchange your experience with strangers than drink coffee with your idiot boss or boring cooperators. Person with healthy and sober mind should understand boundaries, that you can’t ask your virtual friend about their ages, statuses or personal life, if she or he feel uncomfortable.

Word choice is magical word but some people on internet are deaf , because they see only what they wish to see. Extreme cases will call you bad person, because you ignored their messages or blocked them, after annoying virtual treatment.

If you are lucky to meet alive person from internet, your perception will be complete and maybe you will find new friend. In any case, limit your expectations. People from internet are not fairies or magicians, they can’t change your reality or pay your bills.

Don’t be delusional about breakups

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Breakups, we all know everything about it. Someone kick you out from his life or you cut off someone from your life. That should be the end, isn’t it? Can you break up after break up? Like you bury the same dead man twice.

 

Abandoned person sometimes live in illusion that everything will again be the same. The worst part of this sad story is denial. What if person can’t let you go? Here comes the situation when you are smiling again, breath again without rock in your lungs, when you can walk without chains in your feet.  Suddenly, he appears again in every corner.

Even when he found someone else, he says “she is not like you, it is not the same”, but he doesn’t want to admit that he did wrong thing , he has no courage to start it again. He wants to sit on two chairs. One chair is safe, this sweet girl who will care for him and wipe his ass, and the other, this is you, the other who were challenge for him and he could not forget.

 

One of excuses is that you don’t fit into his life. You are not appropriate. I think that every guy who choose girl by his conscience, to please society, is very unhappy guy. When heart made choice, it will accept only one person as loving one.

World is full of people who got married because it was practical idea, it was wish of his mother, society or financial agreement. Who cares for the heart?

 

That kind of losers wants to have both, wild mistress and cute wife, so that they can please their wishes on both side.

 

I believe in old truth about love. The one who loves you truly will never stop loving you because of some interest, because it was not good time or his nerves were broken.

Love doesn’t recognize excuses, apologies, terms. You love or you not love. Every other feeling might be sorrow for something you missed, desire, unfilled dream.

So be careful when you love, and don’t make yourself or other person to play role of victim. Be brave and face it with love.

Real love is naked and simple. That is why we said “i love you.” Not “but i don’t know what to do, give me time, time will show”.

When you love someone, do not hesitate. There is word “not now”, and next following words are “too late.”

Are you princess who lost shoe?

 

Independent person is gift for others. Many people love to say, i am independent, i don’t need anyone. In the case of struggles and problems, this statement will be confirmed or denied. It is easy to say that you can do all alone when all is going well.

What happens in the case of storm in your life?

Suddenly, you broke and you need money, are you independent now?

Your boyfriend left you and you will call friends?

You got fired?

Your close family member is sick?

Being independent means that you lean on your forces, your previous experiences and that you will not give up.

Ask yourself, do you expect that high force will help you ?

If you expect granny with cookies in front of your door, you are wrong. Success never comes to lazy people. Maybe you will get some surprises, but happiness is not permanent and soon all what you get for granted will turn into big bill. If friend found job for you, he will ask you to return him favor. If you got luck in something, soon you will fail on other side. Happiness is not free and it is not serious approach to lean on happiness.

I had friend who always need man to help her. First was her father, when was cold outside and she was travelling by train, he came on train station with boots for her. Second was her husband, he earned money and then hire her to work for him. I want to say, it is easy to progress when all the time someone watch your back.

You know this kind of women who cry when they don’t get what they wanted? Some men are naive and they fall on their tears . These women are always victims and they are dependable of protection. She broke heels, she can’t walk. This guy offended her, let’s beat him. That kind of powerless princess is indeed calculative. She knows that is not necessary to take care of herself, cause others will do this.

Myra is woman in middle age. Her mother lived with her and her husband all the time. So, mother got sick and died. Unfortunately, Myra never learnt to cook. It was her mother’s job. So now she and her husband try to live without mother’s help.

When you are dependable, life punish you with test. Will you earn money alone? Will you cook and clean without help? Can you walk by foot, not to bother others to drive you all the time? Are you Cinderella who is asking for a prince because she lost shoe?

Such persons use others in every opportunity. I don’t say that you must do all things alone. Sometimes you will need help. Just, when request for help become manipulation and when favor became order, this is not fair situation.

Especially, if you are not willing to help others , never, because you are the one who is priority.

Did you deal with third person in your relation?

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When we love, our desire is focused on one person. We don’t want to share this person with others, and that is why we don’t like competition. This is in human nature, to defeat, eliminate, even destroy every competitor or rival, because they stand on our way to happiness.

Before we exhume war cleaver, we must be aware that competition is not the main problem. If you have problem in relation, you can’t blame other people, because your partner is the one who is with you. You sleep, eat and share life with him or her, not with others, so if something went wrong, discuss that with owner of your heart.

Many women think wrong that problems will disappear if they get rid of their opponents. Yes, that Sheila bitch wanted to steal my husband, but if i kick her ass , we will be happy. Now you get rid of Sheila, Rebecca, Annie and all those trash, but your partner is still cheating you? If you saw movie “The other women” with Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann, you will get the point about unfaithful partner. Such person don’t care for anyone, just for yourself.

What kind of competition can stand on way of our happiness in love?

Ex partner. That girlfriend or boyfriend are still here, maybe in our neighborhood, but you meet them and every time you see person, something stuck in your throat. Why they are still alive?

Best friends. Yes he told you that Mabel is his colleague from work, and that Nadine is his friend from high school, but you still don’t believe him, because he share messages with them , he drink coffee with them and you feel that they steal his attention from you.

Fictional person. Your partner maybe joke with you how he dream about perfect women, but every time you see example of his standards, you will feel as shit. That is matter of your self confidence.

What are the most stupid things you can do, when you afraid of rivalry?

Send sms or emails to your rival.

Call them.

Gossip them around.

Try to wait them in ambush and beat them.

Accuse them that they involve in your relation, even they have no idea about this.

Of course, sometimes you can have right, that someone really want to invade in your privacy. That woman really want to seduce your husband or that man wants to sleep with your girlfriend.

What will you do?

Talk with your partner and check the facts.

Deal with your partner together, how to stay away from that person.

Tell your partner that you feel unpleasant, that you are concerned. If he cares, he will stop negative emotions by his actions.

Relation is based on mutual feelings, harmony and agreement. When you two are together and your actions are mutual, nobody can stand on your way. This moment when something happens behind your back, something went wrong. This is alarm call. It is not invitation that you must kill other woman, this is moment when you need to talk with your partner. If he doesn’t care, this relation is dead.

Did you stuck in love triangle?

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Where is passion, there is a problem. Some people like to sit on two chairs until they fall down. Man and two women, woman and two men, problem is the same, because it is hard to decide who will be winner in this game.

Few things are for sure:

1. person who has two partners is selfish

2. someone will get hurt

3. you can’t love two people in the same way

4. it is big possibility to stay alone at the end

There are words you can hear as an apology, from people who are guilty for love triangles.

“I want that all women are mine. ” “I could not decide.” “I love both.” “I did not want to lose nobody, so i have relations with both.”

Creator of love triangle is very busy person. Marriage and kids on one side, and wild life with mistress on other side. Also that person is very manipulative, it is hard to leave him/her. Sweet words are the main weapon. Imagine that man. He will be very gentle to his wife, buy flowers and chocolates and perfumes, take his kids to school, and his wallet will be always open for their wishes. And he will escape on romantic journey with his mistress.

When you stuck in love triangle, you have all in your hands to make things perfect . You have no enough time for conflicts with your partner, you can avoid troubles because you are too busy . And you will give hope to both. Man says to his mistress “i will leave my boring wife”, and to his wife “i will get rid of her, she was just an adventure.” He is fooling both.

 

Also the woman can be in the same situation. Working woman, she has loyal husband and kids at home, and passionate affair with her boss or her business partner. She has everything, and they have just half of her. It is very hard to deal both relations in the same time, because each of your partners will ask time for himself.

What is interesting here, basic person in love triangle is very hot and interesting because he or she will give only pieces of heart and time. This smells as aphrodisiac and wake up many desires, because you have feeling that you are eating, but still you are hungry.

 

As triangle exists with 3 persons as basic, it can break very easy. Someone get bored or someone is tired of waiting. Someone get hurt because in this situation person is spending too much time alone for holidays, birthdays, all important events in life.

The owner of love triangle can easy stay alone, because fooling two persons is a risk. Mistakes happens and it will finish with two breakups or one, if you get lucky that one of partners forgive you this adventure.

Make your triangle better as circle between you and your only partner. Or stay alone and pull yourself until you wake up.

When you leave love triangle, you are still dealing with causer.

Even if you remove consequences, in this case still causer is here. What makes you to do this? Are you get bored? Are you addict of adrenaline? Are you capable to love partner or something missed in your relation?

Ways of love are strange and some will forgive this trip in unknown area. Some relations and marriages will be more firm after affair. Some will never recover.